Chapter 14

Emily sighed as she looked ahead; why she let Katie drag her to another party, she had no idea. Her sister mostly guilted her into it, though, saying she hadn't been around a lot lately. It was a complete lie—she was there just as much as always—but she still went nonetheless. Effy came along and she figured it was because her friend always enjoyed watching her squirm. Plus, even though she had been feeling a little better since finding that picture of Freddie, she was still a little fragile.

She hadn't seen much of Naomi since that night; she would say 'hi' in class, but the blonde didn't go out of her way to talk to her. She didn't know if she was mad at her for their night getting interrupted, but Naomi was definitely acting a little cold toward her again. Naomi appeared to be fine that night, though, so she wondered if it was something else. She couldn't ask her because she knew she would never willingly tell, but she also couldn't figure her out enough to know on her own.

"Why are you just standing there?" Katie asked.

Emily sighed again and walked forward, joining Katie inside the house.

Emily was going to talk to Naomi tonight, but Katie had sprung this on her, so she hadn't had the chance. She had been debating on asking her what the hell was going on even though she didn't think it would do any good. One day she was actually being nice and the next she would give her the cold shoulder. It was enough to do Emily's head in.

"Come on," Katie demanded. "There's this guy from my class that I want you to meet.

"Why?" Emily asked.

"Because he fancies me, but there's no way I'm going out with him, so I thought you could," Katie replied.

"No," Emily said, shaking her head. "He's not going to be my type."

"You haven't even met him," Katie said back.

"I don't need to meet him," Emily said, feeling a bit angry.

"Come on," Katie said, grabbing her arm. "Just meet him."

"No," Emily said, pulling her arm away.

"Will you quit being such a baby?" Katie asked.

"Katie," Emily sighed, "I don't want to meet him. I don't want to go on anymore double dates with you. I'm tired of it and I just want to be left alone."

"What is so wrong with trying to fix you up?" Katie asked. "You're never interested in anyone and it's weird; why can't you just try to be normal for once."

Emily shook her head. "Katie, all I ever try to do is be normal."

"What does that mean?" her sister asked.

Emily looked over her shoulder and Effy was watching her intently with those all-knowing eyes. "Nothing."

Emily started walking away, but Katie followed after her asking, "No, what the hell did you mean?"

"You don't want to know," Emily replied.

"Tell her," Effy quietly stated.

Katie scoffed. "Why the hell does Effy know, but I'm your sister and you won't tell me?"

"Because, Katie, you already know," Emily stated, turning to face her sister once she got out of the house.

"What?" Katie asked.

"You know, but you don't want to know, so you pretend like you have no clue," Emily said.

"I have no idea what you're going on about," Katie said, crossing her arms. "Quit being stupid and come back to the party. I told my friend I'd introduce you."

Emily sighed. "I don't want to meet him."

"Why not?" Katie asked.

"You know why," Emily replied. "I like girls and you know it—you've always known. No matter how many guys you have me chat with, that isn't going to change, Katie. "

"You're such a liar," Katie said, shaking her head. "I'm going to go in there and you're going to come with me and forget this conversation."

Katie turned on her heel, walking into the house, and Emily looked at Effy.

"Want to go home?" Effy asked.

"Yeah," Emily said quietly.

She knew her sister was never going to take it well once she finally told her, but she had expected some reaction. Her sister wasn't stupid, and Emily knew she had to have figured it out long ago, but just had never said anything. She'd hoped that actually saying the words out loud would make her sister understand, but that had apparently not been the case. Katie was still in denial and still trying to fix her up with guys.

She was sick of pretending, though, and she wasn't going to do it anymore. She loved her sister and wanted her to be happy, but she was tired of it being at the expense of her own happiness. Kissing Naomi had changed things for her. She was by no means the first girl she'd kissed, but it was the first time she had been affected by a kiss. It made her realize what she had been missing and would continue to miss if she let things stay the way they were.

"I really though Katie was going to make more of a scene," Emily commented as they walked down the sidewalk.

Effy smirked. "And let everyone know her sister's a big lesbo?"

"Ha ha," Emily said, rolling her eyes.

"She'll come around," Effy stated.

Emily sighed. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Do you regret it?" Effy asked.

"No," Emily answered, shaking her head. "I should've done it a long time ago."

"I think I remember someone else telling you that," Effy said, giving Emily one of those looks that she hated.

"Fine, yes," Emily conceded. "You were right."

"I'm always right," Effy replied.

"And humble," Emily joked.

"I'm proud that you told her," Effy said.

Emily smiled; it was rare for the brunette to say something like that, so it meant a lot coming from her.

"Now you just need to tell Jenna," Effy continued.

Emily face fell at that reminder. "I don't see that happening anytime soon. She'd probably be in denial even more than Katie. That is the Fitch way, after all. If you don't like something, ignore it until it goes away, and if it doesn't go away, pretend it did."

The two fell silent as Emily got lost in her thoughts. She wondered why she always tried so hard to make her family happy when she knew they would never do the same if roles were reversed. Katie and their mother were very much alike, while Emily and her father were similar. Rob Fitch was always trying to make his wife happy, going so far as to keep important things from her like when they lost their house the previous year. Like Katie, nothing was ever good enough for Jenna, so no matter how hard he tried, he could never make her fully happy. She really didn't know she or her father tried, but it just seemed to be in their nature. Meanwhile, the only explanation for James was that he was adopted.

By the time she had made it to her building, she decided she needed to go talk to Naomi. She needed to know what was going on and she wasn't going to wait for Naomi to tell her.

"Where're you going?" Effy asked when Emily bypassed their door.

"Naomi's," Emily replied without looking back.

She walked down the hallway and knocked on the blonde's door. It took a few moments, but the door opened to Naomi's dark-haired roommate glaring at her. Emily's confidence faltered as she stared at the angry looking girl. The other roommate, the blonde, came over after a moment, looking over the brunette's shoulder.

"Hi!" she said brightly.

"Hello," Emily replied to the blonde, but glanced at the other girl. "Is Naomi here?"

"Hey, bitch, there's a dwarf here to see you!" the brunette yelled.

"Be nice, San," the blonde said, tapping the other girl's arm; she then tilted her head, looking at Emily. "I think she looks more like one of those garden gnomes."

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Naomi asked.

"Your friend," the blonde replied. "San thinks she looks like a dwarf, but I think she looks more like one of those garden gnomes; what do you think?"

"Can we talk?" Emily asked, ignoring the two girls in front of her.

"We'll leave you two alone," the tall blonde said.

"No we won't," the other girl replied.

"Yes you will," Naomi said, narrowing her eyes at them.

"Nice to see you again." The blonde waved as she walked by, dragging the other girl along.

"Hi," Emily said, walking in, and shutting the door.

"What do you want?" Naomi asked.

Emily sighed. "Nice to see you, too."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here, Emily?"

"Are you mad at me?" Emily asked.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Naomi asked, shrugging.

"I don't know," Emily said, throwing her hands up. "That's why I'm asking. You've been so—"

"So what?" Naomi asked, raising her eyebrow.

"I came out to Katie today," Emily stated. "I mean, she already knew, but it was the first time I'd ever said it to her. I did it because she was trying to set me up with another guy and I'm just so sick and tired of it. Especially when I like you. I have no idea if you like me because one minute you're talking to me and the next you're ignoring me. I can't figure out if you're mad at me right now or if this is just your normal personality, but I want to know—I want to know you—which is why I asked if you're mad at me."

Naomi sighed. "I'm not mad at you, Emily."

"Then why haven't you been talking to me?" Emily asked, frowning.

Naomi shrugged. "As you say, I guess it's just part of my personality."

"I don't believe that," Emily said, shaking her head. "Is it about Effy coming over the other night and interrupting? Do you think I should have told her to fuck off or something?"

"No!" Naomi said, sounding insulted by the question.

Emily threw her hands up. "Then I don't know."

"Emily, don't worry about it," Naomi said, taking a few steps closer, so she was directly in front of the redhead.

Emily sighed and looked away. "Okay."

"So you told Katie, huh?" Naomi said.

"Yeah," Emily replied. "She completely ignored it and went back into the party like nothing happened."

"I guess you're going to have to make her not ignore it then," Naomi stated.

"Yeah," Emily said again. "I'm going to see if I can talk to her this weekend, and our friend is coming next week for a visit, but can we go out again? Maybe next Saturday."

Naomi laughed, but nodded her head. "We can do that."

"Okay," Emily said, feeling slightly uncertain. "I'll see you Monday."

Naomi nodded and Emily started to turn away, but quickly turned back and gave Naomi a quick kiss. Naomi was smirking at her as she pulled away and walked toward the door. She didn't know how, but Naomi always had her second guessing everything and she felt like an inept teenager around her. Granted she was a teenager, but Naomi made her feel thirteen again.

"How'd it go?" Effy asked as she walked into the door.

Emily frowned. "I'm not sure, but we do have another date next weekend."

"It's a start," Effy commented.

"Yeah," Emily agreed.

"Now what are you going to do about Katie?" Effy asked.

"I don't know," Emily said, thinking about Naomi's words. "I guess I'm going to have to make her see that I'm not going back to the way things were. She's going to have to understand that I'm still Emily even if I like girls."

"And how are you going to do that?" Effy asked.

Emily sighed. "I don't know."

"Let me know if you ever figure it out," Effy said, grabbing the nearest book, and effectively cutting off the conversation.

Emily turned on her heel and walked into the bedroom. Her mind was racing as she tried to figure out what to do with both Katie and Naomi. Though she was going to try to talk to her sister this weekend, she wasn't holding her breath that she was going to get anywhere with her. Naomi, however, she had a little more hope for; she was going to figure out what was going on with the blonde. Naomi seemed determined to keep her at arm's length, but Emily was also determined to change that.