I See Your Face
When I woke up the next morning I immediately checked outside the window by the front door of my motel to see if the weather had improved from the night before. I wasn't in a hurry to get to any jobs at the present time, so I would have happily stayed at this motel if I had to continue to wait out the storm that had hit so hard the day before that I had to seek refuge in some random town off the highway. This morning was much quieter than the night had been and since I still wasn't keen on driving in the rain so I was more than happy to see the sun trying to burn its way through a light haze of lingering clouds.
Since I wasn't actively working a job, I had fallen out of the habit of doing daily check-ins with Toby and I was starting to feel like I owed him a call even though I didn't really have anything by way of an update for him. I waited until I was finished not only showering but also eating a small breakfast to make contact with him. I hadn't really found anything worthwhile near where I was in Illinois after I had dealt with a poltergeist that had had too much fun tormenting a widower who had finally gotten the courage to do renovations after his wife's death, so I was hoping that my teenaged partner in crime would have found something for me to work on to help preoccupy my mind from wandering back towards anything that was remotely "Winchester" shaped.
"Hey Addy! It's really good to hear from you," Toby said with the mildest hint of fear creeping into his tone.
I hung my head guiltily because I should have known that three days was really two days too many or long to finally make this call to him. Granted I wasn't currently on a hunt and/or in immediate danger , but I really should have known better and should have remained conscious of the fact that Toby worried about me something fierce whenever I was out on the road (especially alone) for any reason.
"Yeah… Uh… Sorry for worrying you Buddy. I was going to call last night but I got so drenched while running and unloading my car into my room that I totally crashed after having a hot shower," I replied feeling some of the tension that had been mounting in my mind and muscles ease with the knowledge that everything I had just said to him was the God's honest truth (for once).
"Oh… Well that's totally okay. I've just missed talking with you is all," he said sounding mildly embarrassed through his obvious white lie. "So if you were in the wicked bad rain storm last night that we had here, does that mean that you're finally heading home?"
I scowled slightly at the window facing the parking lot then answered as I turned back to my room, "Umm… No Tobs, I'm still in Illinois, but… Wait! You guys had a thunderstorm last night too?"
"Yeah, the worst I've ever seen. Dad's gone out to your place to check for any damage and to make sure that your power didn't go out or anything… You know, just in case. He and Mom said that they couldn't remember the last time they'd seen a storm that vicious here ever."
"Hmm… Oh… Thank your Dad for doing that for me and tell him I'll try to call him later to thank him personally. He's a real life saver."
"Hey no worries Addy, that's what family does for each other, right?"
I could practically see the cheeky grin that was undoubtedly spreading across his face at his being able to use the line that I had recounted to his parents more times than I could count when Maureen was in the hospital. I chuckled softly but fell completely silent very quickly when I heard him let out a thought-filled noise.
"Tobs? What'd you find?"
When he didn't answer my question straightaway, I figured that I had briefly lost him to whatever information he was reading. I then pulled out my laptop in preparation to pull up whatever website had him so intrigued because I knew once his explanation came out that he would be relating the information fast and furious and I was going to have a hard time keeping up. I had set my homepage to a national news site and my eyes immediately locked in on a headline of a missing teen from Michigan. The details were pretty vague, so I had no way of knowing if this fell under my area of expertise or not, but the story definitely piqued my interest none the less. As I finished reading the article, I suddenly realized that I was still holding my phone and forced my attention away from my computer screen back to the conversation I hadn't yet finished with Toby.
He still sounded like he was navigating through some websites with what I could only assume were filled with interesting information, so I tried to get his attention by calling out his name. After the fifth loud and urgent "TOBY" he actually seemed to have come out of his trance.
"Huh? Oh! Shoot! Sorry Addy," he finally replied with his embarrassment at inadvertently ignoring me more than evident.
"That's okay Buddy… But I can't help wondering if you've found something that I should be looking into or not."
"Yeah it might be, but to be completely honest I'm not quite sure just yet… I'll have to do a little more digging to see if there is an actual connection, but it looks like a few other States were hit by really bad, freaky storms… Like never before seen bad in the areas that were hit."
"Hmm… Okay. And the States that were hit…? Were they close by each other? Are there any other signs that came with the storms?"
"That's the weird part… The storms were all over the place and just hit with no warnings at all. There's no pattern… No rhyme or reason… I mean everywhere except Illinois… Well more specifically in Chicago…"
"Alright. What's happened in Chicago and why does it sound like it's really troubling you that it would be happening there of all places?"
"Well… Umm… To answer your second question… Uhh… That's where Dean and Sam are right now. Sam sent me a couple of pictures of this thing that they stole from Dick Roman, but I haven't been able to make heads or tails out of it yet… Sorry…"
"Sorry? Toby why are you apologizing? We both know that if it's something that Roman was eager to get his monstrous hands on then it's more than likely going to be a tough problem to solve. There's no shame in having to take your time with it Buddy, really."
He let out an uncomfortable laugh and then very hesitantly tried to clarify his apology, "No it's not that… I mean I know that this is a tough one because Sam already warned me that it would be… It's… Umm… It's just that… Uhh…"
"It's just what Buddy?" I gently prompted him when he trailed off and it didn't appear that he was going to finish his thought any time soon.
"It's just that I… I know that you and… You… And… Well that you don't like talking about… Uhh… Him… So I'm sorry that I brought up… Umm… The Winchesters."
"Oh Toby…" I replied with a sympathetic chuckle. "It's okay to talk about him and to use his name, especially when you're giving me the details of a case that we're working on at the time. Plus… The Winchesters being in Chicago with all the other weird stuff happening, I'm sure there's got to be some sort of connection between it and whatever artifact Sam asked you to focus your attentions on for the time being. Please don't apologize or feel like you have to hold back anything from me, okay?"
Toby let out a soft sigh that I would describe as being relieved before saying, "Yeah, I was thinking that too… About Sam and Dean that is… And… And… Okay, nothing but honesty between us, like always." He took in a deep breath and sounded less tense as he asked, "So if the Winchesters are in Chicago taking care of whatever weird stuff is happening there, where were you heading to next?"
"Well…" I started as I pulled up another news site to check if there were any updates on the missing student that I had read about earlier in our conversation. As luck would have it, a reporter for this news outlet had somehow gotten into contact with the missing teen's girlfriend who reported that 'he said that he wasn't allowed to stop…' and that she believed that the some religious fanatics had abducted him for unknown reasons. "Well… I'm not really even sure that this is remotely close to being our type of gig, but I was reading about this kid in Michigan that…"
"Went missing in the middle of his finals from his home in Neighbor, Michigan?" Toby finished for me sounding somewhat hesitant again. "I… Uhh… I kind of thought that you might find it interesting so I've been looking into it as much as I could just in case you wanted to work on it. I can send you what I've been able to dig up so far if you want."
"Really Buddy? That would be awesome and much appreciated," I replied with a mixture of awe and excited anticipation.
"Okay I'll forward everything that I have to your email. You'll probably want to start with the police interview with his girlfriend."
"Really?" I questioned with a playful tone. If Toby suggested that I start there, then I knew that he found something worthwhile and I would be starting there no matter what. But that being said I always had more fun listening to Toby relay information to me than just reading it on my own. "So why don't you tell me about it Buddy while I wait for your email to come through?"
"Really?" Toby clarified in an excited yet surprised voice.
My smile grew uncomfortably wide at his reaction because I knew that he would be thrilled that I didn't want to terminate our call just yet. Some people might have interpreted my actions as over-indulging the teen to try to ease my guilt about not calling him as often as he had grown accustomed, but in all honesty I did it because it was the easiest way to keep him actively involved. Since my last disappearance, Toby had completely silenced his requests to come out on the road for a hunt with me, so I was more than happy to have him focus on researching instead of field work.
"Okay… Well she's the last person to have had any contact with Kevin… That's the name of the missing teenager. She wasn't one hundred percent sure, but she does have a feeling that someone might have abducted him because he said something weird to her about not being allowed to stop. The police are focusing most of their energies on that it seems, but I don't think that that is the right avenue of investigation."
I had a feeling that I knew why Toby had come to that conclusion, but I wanted to double check that he had taken my lessons to heart causing me to ask, "And why do you think that Toby?"
"Well first off, he answered his phone. Not really all that stealthy of the bad guys to let him do that… Or to leave it on in case anyone tries to track it with GPS," he replied confidently. "And he never mentioned a ransom or anything, so why would somebody take him? Why haven't they started making demands by now if he was kidnapped?"
"Good points," I praised with a proud smile plastered on my face. "So what else is there that I know that you're just dying to tell me?"
Toby let out a surprised laugh then answered, "And I thought that I actually had you fooled. Well she also mentioned something else in her statement that was really weird… Where…? Oh here it is… She said that he mumbled something to her… Hang on… Okay Kevin apparently said something about it 'being his birthright'. Now that in and of itself is majorly bizarre, right? But I found it extra strange considering the state of his house when the cops got there to start their missing person's investigation."
"State of the house? What does that mean Tobs?"
"Well…" He stared with a cheeky grin evident in his voice. "Every single window in his house was blown out from the outside in. That got me thinking that this might be more of an angel thing because…"
"That's what happened when Castiel tried talking to Dean when he first pulled him out of hell," I interrupted inadvertently, lost in my own thought momentarily. "That would also help to explain what he said about it being his birthright. But if he's a vessel, couldn't the angels speak to him without any ill effects? Did Dean ever ask Cas what it was like with him and…?"
"ADDY!" Toby shouted sounding like it wasn't the first time he had tried to get my attention.
"Toby? Oh… Shit… Sorry Buddy. I kind of got lost in my own thoughts there for a second."
He chuckled then said, "Yeah I sort of noticed that Addy. So do you think Kevin Tran's disappearance does have something to do with Angels?"
"I do Tobs. That theory does sound like the most likely scenario to me, but per usual I won't really know until I get there and get a good look at everything first hand."
"I figured that you would say that so I booked you a room at the Comfort Inn in Neighbor, Michigan for you. Check in is any time after three."
"Really? Thank you so much Toby. What would I do without you?"
Knowing Toby as well as I did, I had no doubt in my mind that he was blushing profusely right now. I also knew that he wouldn't reply because of his embarrassment at being the subject of such high praise from me.
"Umm… Yeah… So…" He started awkwardly. "If you're still in Illinois right now and if you're going to be driving to Michigan from there… I… Uhh… I guess that that would mean that you'll most likely be passing through Northern Indiana, right?"
"That's right," I confirmed not quite catching onto his reason for bringing up the route that I would soon be travelling.
"Well maybe you could… You know… Stop in and check if… Umm… You know… Check if Castiel is awake and all to… Umm… You know to see if he might know what's happening with Kevin and all… I mean if he is awake and all?" He explained tentatively.
I felt my cheeks start to burn under a hot blush of embarrassment as I stifled a mortified sigh before answering, "Right… I hadn't even thought about… But… No… Yeah… You're right. I should have dropped in to see him before now… And it is on the way so there really isn't any excuse for me not to, right?"
"Well I just thought that you might want to, but…"
It pained me to hear him sound so unsure of himself and his suggestions, so I quickly interrupted, "It is a really good piece of advice Toby. And I really mean it, I should have gone to see him before now, so don't doubt yourself and sound like that. Okay?"
After a couple of awkwardly silent seconds Toby finally replied, "Okay, so long as you aren't mad that I said that you should and all."
"No Tobs I'm not upset at all. And I promise you that I'll even say hi to him for you," I answered in the same calm reassuring tone that I had adopted during my previous statement. "So… If I'm going to hit the road, I should let you go and get checked out…"
"Oh… Of course! Yeah… Sorry…"
I laughed softly as I replied, "There's still no need for you to apologize Buddy. I'll call you once I get to the hospital so I can give you an update, alright? I love you Toby."
"Sounds good. Love you too Addy. Drive safe."
Toby had taken it upon himself to send me a set of directions that seemed to be the most direct route to Northern Indiana State Hospital as well as a set of directions to the Tran residence in Michigan. He also promised to keep on top of the Kevin Tran disappearance case for me so that he could forward me everything while I was stuck driving from place to place. Toby was adamant that he only offered to do it so that I could concentrate on driving and not researching, but I think the real reason was that he knew that I would use researching as a way to avoid visiting Castiel. I still hadn't seen the "not dead" angel in the flesh since Sam had called to fill me in on everything that had happened with Emmanuel (the healer Mackey had told us about who actually turned out to be our favorite angel that we had all presumed had died when the Leviathans set themselves free) and deep down I was afraid that he somehow wouldn't actually be there.
I knew that it was ridiculous to have any feelings of doubt about our angel because Sam had absolutely no reason to lie to me about how he had been healed and yet here I sat, frozen in the driver seat of my GTO. For some reason I found myself just staring out my windshield down at the Ambulance Entrance to the Emergency Room without any thoughts forming to completion in my head. On the drive to Indiana I couldn't stop the thoughts that were running through my mind about what I would say to Castiel when I saw him again (whether he was conscious or not), but now I was drawing a complete blank.
I don't know how long I sat there, but it took the sound of an ambulance blaring its siren as it brought a new patient in to the Emergency to snap me out of my daze. I shook my head vigorously, as if it would help to further clear way the cobwebs from my mind, before I forced myself to get out of the car, even if I was moving painfully slowly.
San had given me directions, to the best of his recollection, to the psychiatric ward in case I ever got a chance to visit (and I never had the courage to tell him that I most likely wouldn't be visiting because I didn't want to run into Dean back then), so I had a vague idea of where I was heading from the parking lot. As I walked towards the building I couldn't help but take note of the weather. The sun was high in the sky and shining without a cloud in sight which was such a turnaround from the day before that I actually stopped in my place to admire my surroundings.
The hospital grounds were quite spectacular and with the sun shining down, it was also very breath-taking because the care facility was situated close to a dense wooded area and it also had a large garden area near the rear of the building. I'm not sure what I had expected to see when I got here, but what I did see definitely exceeded any of my preconceived notions for what hospital grounds should look like. In my mind hospitals were a cold, sterile place but this place felt warm, peaceful and somewhat serene.
Since I had been sub-consciously looking for any reason I could find to delay going into the hospital to see our comatose angel, I was more than happy to find myself wandering towards the garden area. The sunlight was shimmering off the lingering moisture on the leaves and petals of the plants and greenery in the garden which gave it all an almost eerie early morning glow to everything even though it was well into the afternoon hour.
I was just about to silently scold myself for my not so hidden cowardice when I heard a familiar voice call out, "Adelaide?"
When I turned around, I gasped out softly at seeing Castiel standing beside a blooming rosebush. I nearly broke out in a fit of giggles at seeing him sporting his usual trench coat over the white hospital scrubs that all of the patients wore here at the hospital. Everything about him was so normal that it was almost physically painful to look at him.
"Cas…? Castiel? Is…? Is that really you?"
He gave me a slanted half-smile as he nodded his head, but he wasn't able to reply before I rushed forward and wrapped him in a bone crushing embrace.
"Castiel you have no idea how good it is to see you," I said against his chest as he raised his arms to reciprocate my hug more comfortably.
I felt him chuckle before he said, "It is good to see you too Adelaide."
After a final hard squeeze of his torso I pushed out of our hug, but he maintained a gentle hold of my biceps while we spoke. "So Cas… Last I heard you were down for the count… When did you get all vertical again?"
"My return to full consciousness is a fairly new development," the angel replied in the same hauntingly serene tone he had used when I first met him.
I felt my lips unconsciously back into a wide grin at hearing him speak with the same cadence that he had prior to his opening Purgatory. As I stood there smiling at him the realization of how long it had been since we had seen each other hit me hard. So much had changed in my life since he had last been this lucid and I wasn't really sure that I was ready to get into all of it with him just yet.
"So…? Umm… Do Dean and Sam know that you're awake?" I asked casting my eyes away from his unyielding gaze because I wasn't certain that I could hide what I was really feeling right now.
"I am not aware if Meg ha contacted them as of yet," he replied as his eyebrows started to turn down into a scowl. "Adelaide… There's… You 'look' different from the last time that I saw you…" He gently pulled me closer to him and then he tentatively placed his free hand over my heart.
The frown on his face deepened so I placed my hand over his that was resting on my chest, but I didn't get a chance to speak before he continued, "Your sigil… It feels… Abnormal."
"Umm… Yeah… About that…" I replied as I took his hand in mine and led him to a nearby bench. "I sort of did something that wasn't exactly… Well let's just say that it wasn't my smartest move."
Castiel narrowed his eyes and fixed me with an intense glare that told me that he was trying to read my mind. In the past I had felt uneasy about Castiel reading my thoughts (mostly because I couldn't control what he would see so I was always paranoid that he would see something that I didn't want him to know) but today I was more than happy to focus on the one memory I knew that he would be searching out. I wasn't sure that he was seeing what I needed him to find so that I wouldn't have to actually explain the situation to him out loud, but then his eyes gradually started to widen as he slowly retracted his hand from my chest.
"Adelaide… You… Your…" He stammered out in near horrified awe.
I caught his hand and then pulled it down into my lap and I ran my thumb over his knuckles as I replied, "Yeah like I say not my smartest move." One corner of Castiel's mouth quirked back in not quite a half smile so I tried to explain my actions the best that I could, especially now that my feelings about my life decisions were so conflicted. "So we both know that I don't really make the best decisions when I'm upset and filled with raw emotions and that sort of translated into…"
"Oh Adelaide, you didn't…" He interrupted as he somehow shifted our hands so that he was now holding my hand tightly in both of his against my thigh. He was shaking his head with a strange smile forming on his face as he said, "But what I truly find baffling is that you were able to persuade Cupid to even try to remove it. How on Earth did you manage to convince him to attempt to complete such a feat when it truly would be impossible for an angel of his class to accomplish?"
I gave him a sad smile and shrugged as I replied, "It's amazing what you can convince guys to do when they have the prospect to keep a girl's tears from falling."
The angel barked out a surprised laugh then commented (more to himself than to me), "Of course she was able to manipulate him… He WOULD be the one angel that could be the most easily influenced."
"Yeah that's one way to put it. But to be fair he did warn me that it might not work and when it didn't he tried his best to put it back how he found it. So far it hasn't really felt that different to me since then."
"Put it back how he found it," Castiel mused with a humorous tone. "Well yes he very nearly did do just that. But I still don't understand why he would risk trying when it could have turned out very badly for you."
I cupped Castiel's chin gently to force more direct eye contact as I answered, "You mustn't have gone back far enough in my memory bank to see what brought me to the breaking point. Now I've come to terms with everything, but it still isn't something I really want to re-hash right now, so could you just do the whole reading my mind thing so that you can find out and then we can just move on?"
"But you… In the past… I mean it always angered you when I attempted to read your thoughts in the past," he countered without much force.
I held his cheeks in both of my hands and looked him straight in the eye as I said with a light hearted edge to my voice, "Well back then it wasn't like you took the time to ask for my permission to do it or anything." During my explanation Castiel's hands migrated up my arms to hold both of my hands on his face and suddenly I lost my nerve. I quickly diverted my gaze to my lap as my cheeks flushed as my cheeks flushed to a dark reddish pink. "And back then… Well we both know that there were also a lot of secrets I wanted to hide from you… Actually from everyone including myself to an extent, but I think that… Sorry no…" I forced myself to turn my eyes back to the angel's patient face as my thumbs started to unconsciously trace back and forth over his cheeks. "After everything we've been through, everything you've done for me… Well… I'm done hiding from you Castiel. I'm done hiding my feelings from everyone. I owe you the truth, so please, look into my thoughts because I'm not strong enough to say it out loud, okay? Please?"
Castiel nodded and somehow I knew that during my previous ramble that he had already found the answers to all of his lingering questions. He swiftly pulled my hands away from his face and then awkwardly placed them on either side of his waist. Before I could catch up with him, Castiel pushed the back of my head so that my cheek was now resting against his chest. He pecked the top of my head and then sighed as he rested his cheek against my hair.
"I am so sorry Adelaide. I had no idea that he would ever hurt you so deeply and that you two had been so greatly at odds over these past couple of years."
I tried to shrug but that was too hard to accomplish in his current hold, "Not really something for you to apologize for but thanks for the sentiment Castiel."
I felt him nod in understanding against my head and then we both fell into an eerily comfortable silence.
After a few breaths Castiel started to pet the tight French braid I had trailing down my spine and I almost could have sworn that I felt him chuckle before I heard him quietly say, "It has been a very long time since you've worn your hair this way."
"Yeah it has," I said as I finally started to relax against the angel's chest. "It took me a really long time to learn how to make the braid as tight as Mum always seemed to be able to do so effortlessly. Plus my hair's gotten so long that it's become the easiest way to manage it until I can get to a professional to try to tame it."
"I believe this style suits you quite well," Castiel stated bluntly with one final pet of the back of my head.
I was just about to thank him for the compliment when I suddenly had to catch myself to keep from face planting into the seat of the bench because Castiel had pulled one of his patented disappearing acts. My hands slipped slightly because I was laughing so hard at the familiarity of the situation. Once I was finally seated upright, I started to search around the area behind me for the angel, but all I could see was the blooming flowers in the garden behind me.
"Cas," I nearly sighed out to myself with a chuckle.
As soon as I was sitting up, I did a quick survey of the area without actually expecting to find the angel anywhere nearby. I remained in my spot debating how long I should wait for him to return because even though his manner of speech had returned to the same timber and flow of the Castiel of old, the angel still didn't seem to be acting like 'himself'. In the past when he disappeared it was because Castiel had been called somewhere to fight or help with some heavenly problem and since he had only very recently been revived, I was fairly confident that he hadn't been sent anywhere on any celestial missions, so I had no good reason for his recent disappearing act.
"Damn it Cas," I sighed under my breath when it became apparent that he wasn't going to return anytime soon.
Shit! I didn't even get to say 'hi' to him from Toby I thought to myself while I straightened out my jacket in preparation to leave. As I moved slowly to stand up I was suddenly halted by a strong hand grasping my shoulder out of the corner of my eye. I also caught a glimpse of a bouquet of wild daisies which caused me to sit back down on the bench in a state of utter confusion.
I felt fingers in my hair on the back of my head before I heard Castiel say, "You wore flowers in your hair one of the last times Victoria styled your hair in this manner."
He passed me a single purple tulip over my shoulder and I couldn't help but smile at the memory that flower evoked. "It was Mum's idea to put the flowers in my hair. Calla liked how it looked so much that she had everyone in the wedding party put them in their hair as well."
"You did look quite striking that day. He definitely would have been enamored with your beauty."
My cheeks burned hot as a blush overtook me. I tried to duck my head but couldn't because of Castiel's grasp on my hair as I said with an embarrassed chuckle, "Cas you can stop reading my mind now."
He moved around the bench and sat beside me saying, "Then why don't you tell me about that day?"
Shaking my head I tried to protest but he quickly interrupted me in a calm even tone, "There has been so much ugliness lately, wouldn't it be nice to talk about happy memories?" He turned his head to face me and once I made eye contact with him he shrugged adding, "Please humor me Addy. At least just this once."
There was a haunting look in his eyes that nearly broke my heart so I quietly answered, "Calla is a psychic and she was marrying a hunter that Mum knew pretty well. Most of the people invited to the party were from the community which meant that there were a lot of hunters that we had worked with there for the celebration."
A small smile spread across his face as he clarified, "Which mean that you anticipated seeing Dean there and bought a new dress for the occasion to try to impress him."
"Yeah," I answered honestly as my blush darkened. "But I was only fifteen, so I wasn't exactly making my decisions based on logic or anything…" I paused to take in a deep breath and then I squared my shoulders and re-established direct eye contact with him to continue, "But it was all for nothing because the Winchesters didn't go. John wasn't really one for socializing, especially at something as frivolous as a wedding, so the hair, the dress… Hell those new stupid heels that killed my feet were all for a lost cause."
"I'm sure that your efforts were very well appreciated by many others that were in attendance."
I let out a quick embarrassed laugh as I said, "Yeah I did get hit on a lot that day." I then took his hand in mine and tried to keep my eyebrows from turning down into a concerned scowl as I asked, "Cas…? Uhh… What is this…?"
"CAS…! Damn it where…? Oh! There you are," a female's voice shouted from somewhere behind us. "Cas you seriously have to stop vanishing on me like that."
She rounded the bench to stand in front of Castiel and I felt every muscle in my body go rigid as soon as I laid eyes on her face. When she saw my reaction she shook her head then reached for Castiel's hand gently reprimanding him, "And you really shouldn't be bothering random people out here in the garden either."
He allowed her to take his hand but still protested, "No, but…"
They both stopped to stare at me as the color completely drained out of my face as I cowered into the corner of the bend the farthest away from them whispering, "Oh God… Oh no… No she… She can't…"
Castiel pulled his hand out of the woman's hold to slide over to my side. When he noticed that I was trembling uncontrollably, he scooped up my hands into his as he quietly said, "Adelaide it wasn't her, remember? You have nothing to fear."
I stared into his eyes for a couple of breaths before following his lead and nodded slowly. I took a few more breaths for me to be able to answer, "Right… Right, but… Meg? This Meg is the one that they left behind to take care of you? A… The demon Meg?"
He nodded while a cruel looking smirk spread across the demon's face as she said, "Why yes I am. Do you have a problem with that?"
Her challenging tone startled me slightly, but I was able to suppress the false fear my memories brought out by taking control of my breathing. "No… No, I don't… Actually…" I answered as I finally managed to completely regain my composure. "Actually with everything that's been going on lately, it's probably better that he had something like you around… You know, just in case and all."
She responded to my comment by giving me an unfriendly look that Castiel either ignored or didn't see because he happily replied, "Yes I do consider myself blessed to have had such a fearsome beauty watching over me."
The demon rolled her eyes while sighing out an exasperated, "Cas."
I had a few unpleasant thoughts jump into my mind but I held my tongue and opted instead to focus on Castiel. Before I could change my mind I leaned over to kiss the angel's cheek. He seemed surprised by that contact but was completely relaxed when I wrapped him in a tight hug and pressed myself against his side.
"I'm really glad you're okay Cas. Don't be a stranger, okay?"
Castiel briefly looked confused at my comment before a large grin spread across his face as he pulled me back against his chest in an almost uncomfortably tight hold. "You mean that you want me to keep in contact with you. I believe that that can easily be arranged." He pushed out of our embrace with the same bright smile and then he winked and added, "And say hi to Tobias for me as well."
"I will Cas, I will," I choked out over a grateful lump in my throat.
After I stood up from the bench I turned to say goodbye and immediately found myself nearly nose to nose with Meg. I instinctively took a step back and away from her. She moved as if she was going to take a step forward to follow me, but she stopped herself for some reason. Castiel was watching the two of us with an almost pained look on his face and when Meg followed my worried gaze her entire body language softened.
With a quiet scoff and a shake of her head, the demon said, "I wasn't trying to pick a fight with her Clarence…" She then turned her eyes back to me. Meg forced a smile onto her face as she calmly said through clenched teeth, "I was just trying to make sure that I had your friend's attention. So…? Friend…? Do I have your attention?"
I was hard pressed to keep the scowl off my face as I held out my right hand saying in a surprisingly civil tone, "Sorry that was rude of me. Meg it's… Nice to meet you, especially after what you've done for Cas. I'm Addy, Addy Jones."
"Ad…" Meg stammered while shaking my hand. She didn't let go of my hand as she turned and said to Castiel in an overly cheerful tone, "Clarence you didn't tell me that you knew Addy Jones…" She turned her eyes back to me with a smile that made me shudder, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
Once she released my hand I had to resist the urge to wipe my palm on my jean clad thigh. "I take it that means you've heard stories about me."
"Oh yes Miss Jones," she replied with a predatory gleam in her eye. "First you walked away from a… Creative twenty four hours with my brother and then… Well just look at you after an equally amusing stint in Hell. I thought everyone was exaggerating, but it seems that some rumors are in fact the truth."
I hadn't meant to, but with every shade of white my skin had paled to, I had also taken a small step back and away from the demon. For the most part Meg seemed to only be focused on the mental images that influenced her words and not the effect everything she was saying had on me. Had she noticed how horribly I was affected at having those events brought back to the forefront, I'm certain that she would have latched onto them and tormented me relentlessly.
Thankfully Castiel did notice my unease and he stepped in between us so that he blocked the demon from my view. When my eyes met the brilliant blue orbs that held so much concern for my well-being, I nearly burst into tears right then and there. He also took note of that and held my hand for a beat before pulling me into a hug.
I was still holding myself quite rigidly in his arms as he looked over his shoulder to say, "Meg I would be very grateful if you would meet me back at my room after I have walked Adelaide back to her car."
"You mean she won't be staying to reunite with Dean…? And Sam?" She questioned with an artificially innocent tone. The angel fixed her with a hard glare causing the demon to throw up her hands in a sign of surrender replying, "Alright Clarence… Down boy. I'll go call the Bobbsye Twins while you two say your fond farewells." To my relief she started back towards the hospital but then she suddenly stopped and turned back to us saying, "I wasn't lying Jonsey, you definitely are a woman to be reckoned with and I'm just glad that we're on the same side right now."
I kept myself plastered against Castiel's chest so I don't know what he did, but he managed to get rid of her without any further commentary. There wasn't much of a change in his grasp but I somehow knew that Meg was gone (hopefully for good) so I let myself relax against him. He remained silent and just ran his hands up and down my back in what I was sure was supposed to be a reassuring gesture, but his silence only caused me to tense up once again.
I don't know if Castiel was reading my thoughts or if he was using his old angel perceptiveness to try a different tactic to keep me calm by quietly saying into my ear, "Please don't be angry with her Adelaide. Meg truly has been watching over me and all that she has asked for is sanctuary because she knows that Crowley has put a price on her head for her alliance with Lucifer. Please don't start a fight with her, please?"
Hearing the name of the current ruler of Hell made me shudder but I tried to remain calm for Castiel's sake. He had this new Zen, 'no drama' vibe working for him and I didn't want to do anything to mess with it since I was striving to maintain my own tranquil center at this period of my life. It took more than a bit of effort to do so but I somehow managed to refocus my attention on Castiel's feeling in order to suppress my own.
I forced myself to stop clinging to my favorite angel once I realized that was precisely what I had been doing. "Cas…" I started quietly before I was able to muster up some courage. "Castiel she's in the rear view mirror, so no worries, okay?"
I paused while I watched him work through this latest turn of phrase that I had thrown at him. Soon enough his facial features softened as he said with a tone of recognition, "You mean that you are willing to leave all of that animosity in the past?"
Since he had worded his statement as a question, I made sure to answer him with a calm smile on my face and gentle grasp on his cheek, "Exactly. And you're right Cas, it wasn't actually her… Just another black-eyed… Anyways it was actually someone else that took Toby and she has been taking care of you so… Actually right now that last one means the most to me and will be cutting her a lot of slack." I stopped there and raised up to my tiptoes so that I could place a quick peck on his lips. "I love you Castiel."
The angel's eyes went almost comically wide and I instantly realized that he had misinterpreted my actions so I quickly added, "Oh not like that! Cas I love you like a… Umm… Like family. I didn't mean it romantically, okay?" He gave an almost hesitant nod so I figured that I owed him more of an explanation. I also needed to hit the road again so I took his hand in mine as we walked towards my car while I tried my best to clarify, "You're more than part of my family now and after what happened to Bobby… Well… I decided that should tell everyone my feelings more often. I… Uhh in the past…"
"You only felt comfortable in your youth doing so before your… Fallout with Sydney," Castiel finished for me at the end of the walkway by the parking lot.
I smiled with tears glittering in my eyes as I answered, "Yeah that's pretty much it exactly. But I want to be more like her… Umm like the old me for Toby so that means being her for everyone else too… So her it goes… I love you Castiel. You are an important person in my life and a part of me would be missing if I lost you again because I would grieve your loss immensely."
"Adelaide," he almost sighed with a smile. Anyone else would have acknowledge to whom I had alluded without spelling it out, but this was Castiel so I wasn't surprised when I heard, "I know these sentiments have been brought forward since Bobby's death as well as your bought of amnesia, but I do appreciate them all the same… And I know the Connors will as well." He then pulled me into a hug and added, "Do drive safe to Michigan."
When he released me I stared up at him in disbelief and almost asked how he knew where I was heading, but I instead just smiled and said, "Thanks, I always try to."
A/N: Sorry for the hastily posted, long awaited chapter. I typed this up at work on my new laptop and after nearly 10 hours it almost died so I didn't get to say... I apologize for the delay... This story is still somewhere in the back of my brain and has only recently been coming out now that my brain health is basically back to normal..ish. I hope you enjoyed and that it was worth the wait and again I'm sorry that life hasn't allowed me to do this sooner