Chapter 19

"Hey," Emily said, looking up, and finding Effy leaning against the doorframe. "What're you doing here?"

Effy shrugged. "Thought I'd come by."

Emily knew that look on her friends face and it meant something was wrong. "What's going on, Eff?" Emily sighed. "Did Tony not show up again."

"Yeah," Effy said, ducking her head as she came into the bedroom.

Emily frowned; she knew Effy was looking forward to seeing her brother. He was supposed to come for Christmas, but, once again, he was a no show. Sometimes she wished she knew where he lived so she could go and talk some sense into him—or hit him. He just kept disappointing Effy over and over, and it was frustrating for Emily to see.

"He's an ass," Emily stated.

Effy smirked. "I know."

Emily sighed and watched as Effy sat down next to her; she could still tell there was something the brunette wasn't saying. Instead of saying anything, she sat there silently, waiting for Effy to tell her.

"I ran into Cook this morning," Effy said after a few minutes of silence.

That was not what Emily had been expecting. "Oh. How'd that go?"

Effy shrugged. "I don't know; we didn't say much."

"Do you ever?" Emily joked.

"He asked if he could see me before we go back," Effy said.

"What'd you say?" Emily asked.

"I told him maybe," Effy replied before looking at Emily. "Do you think I should?"

"I do," Emily replied. "I think it will be good for both of you; maybe you'll both get some closure on—certain things." She didn't want to bring up Freddie's name, but she knew Effy would know what she was saying. "For what it's worth, Cook's changed. He's not the guy you knew; he's grown up a lot."

"I'll think about it," Effy said."

Emily nodded. "Let me know if you decide to go and want company."

"Has Naomi come by, yet?" Effy asked.

Emily sighed and frowned. "No."

"You going to change your plan?" Effy asked.

Emily shook her head. "No. If Naomi wants me, she's going to have to come to me. I don't care how stubborn she can be—I can be just as persistent. I don't care if it takes a year; I'm not going to be the first to approach."

"You won't have to wait that long," Effy stated.

"What makes you think that?" Emily asked.

"She misses you," Effy replied.

Emily rolled her eyes. "How do you know that?"

Effy shrugged. "Just do."

"You haven't talked to her, have you?" Emily wondered.

"No," Effy replied.

"I know you talked to Katie about me," Emily stated.

"Yeah, well, Katie needed someone to let her know how stupid she was being," Effy replied.

Emily smiled. "Thanks."

"How'd you know?" Effy asked.

"Katie told me a few weeks ago," Emily replied with a shrug.

Effy hummed and they sat quietly; she knew the brunette was thinking about whether or not she should see Cook, and Emily was leaving her to do it. She really hoped Effy would do it; she knew Cook missed her terrible, and even thought Effy would never admit it, she missed Cook back. She didn't know if they would ever be anything more than friends—or even acquaintances—but she did know they needed each other. If nothing else, they needed each other for closure—to be able to go on with the rest of their lives. They both blamed themselves for Freddie's death even though it wasn't either of their faults. Emily just hoped they would both realize that.

"Emily, someone's here for you!" Rob called up to her.

Effy's eyebrow rose. "Don't keep Naomi waiting.

"What makes you think it's her?" Emily asked, and Effy just smirked. "Never mind."

Emily looked at what she wearing wear—pajamas and a tank top—and thought about changing, but Emily didn't want Naomi thinking she cared what she thought about her. As she walked down the stairs, she spotted Naomi standing just inside the house, near the door. She was pacing, her arms crossed over her chest, and she looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there.

"What're you doing here?" Emily asked, stopping on the next to the last step.

Naomi stopped and turned to look at her. "Can we talk?"

"About what?" Emily asked, not moving an inch.

Naomi sighed. "Please, Emily."

Emily looked away for a second and then looked back at the blonde. "Let's talk outside."

Emily passed by Naomi, grabbed her coat from beside the door, and walked out into the cold night air. She looked over her shoulder to make sure Naomi was following her, which she was. She thought about staying on the front porch, but her parents were in the living room, and Jenna was prone to snooping on her, so she walked down the steps and went around the side of the house. She opened the gate to the backyard, allowing Naomi to enter first, and then followed her in. There was an old swing set toward the opposite side, so Emily led them over and sat down.

"What are you doing here, Naomi?" Emily asked again.

Naomi glanced at her, then sighed and looked away. She looked like she has having an internal struggle and Emily just watched. Finally, Naomi sighed again and looked at her.

"I fucked up," Naomi stated.

"Yeah, you did," Emily agreed.

"You're not helping," Naomi said, cocking her eyebrow.

"I'm not trying to," Emily replied.

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not good at this, okay? I don't believe in love; everyone just fucks you over and leaves. I fucked up the moment I saw you, because I fell in love with you. Then I kissed you—or rather Katie—and I was okay again because I could hate you. You had to run into me with that damn box, though, and then we had that stupid class and I had no choice but to get to know you. I didn't want to know you, though; I wanted to keep hating you. You just couldn't leave me alone and you made me fall for you all over again. When we slept together, it scared the shit out of me, so I pushed you away. You were the one person who could hurt me—you could break my heart—so I ran. I love you. I tried not to—I tried to hate you for so long and I just can't do it anymore. I know you might hate me now because I was such a coward, but I'm here now and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you, and I'm not saying I won't fuck up again, but I am saying that I will try."

"What took you so long?" Emily asked.

Naomi opened her mouth, but Emily stood up, cutting her off with a kiss. She wrapped her arms around Naomi's neck, and Naomi wrested her hands on Emily's waist, pulling her in close. This is exactly what Emily had been waiting for, but it actually went much better than she thought it would. At most, she was expecting an apology, possibly a promise to not do it again, but not a confession of love.

"I still don't completely forgive you," Emily said, pulling away.

"Understandable," Naomi said, sneaking another kiss.

"I'm serious," Emily said, pushing her away. "I've spent the last three weeks wondering if—"

She was cut off by Naomi's lips on hers and she moaned at the feeling. Naomi's arms were around her waist again and Emily momentarily forgot what she was saying.

"I'm sorry," Naomi said, pulling away, and leaning her forehead against Emily's. "I never—" Naomi sighed. "I was total fucking coward, and I hurt you so you couldn't hurt me. I'll probably get scared again and I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with, but I'm asking for another chance. Give me the chance to try again—to be better."

"Okay, but on one condition," Emily replied. "Don't just disappear again; at least warn me first, okay?"

Naomi sighed but smiled. "Okay."

"What changed your mind?" Emily asked, taking Naomi's hand, and leading her over to the swings.

"My mum," Naomi said with a laugh. "She can be very annoying most of the time, but sometimes she tells me what I need to hear. She likes you. She told me if I didn't get off my ass and talk to you, she'd disown me."

"So you only came over because of your mum?" Emily asked.

"No, that was last week," Naomi said, shaking her head. "I thought about what she said, though. I've actually been thinking about coming over since I knew you were here, but I was afraid you'd tell me to fuck off."

"I'm glad you came over," Emily stated. "Even if it did take you too damn long."

"Does that mean you're giving me another chance?" Naomi asked.

"I'll think about it," Emily said with a shrug.

"Thinking about it is better than a fuck off," Naomi replied. "I should get home; Mum and Kieran want to have a Christmas Eve dinner like we're one big, happy family." Naomi rolled her eyes and stood up. "You know where I live."

Emily nodded. "Merry Christmas, Naomi."

"Merry Christmas, Emily," Naomi said, giving her a sad smile, before turning and walking out of the backyard.

She was sitting in the swing for several minutes when the back door opened, and light spilled into the backyard. Effy closed the door and walked over to her, taking a seat on the empty swing.

"Are you going to forgive her?" Effy asked.

"Probably," Emily answered.

"You'd be stupid if you didn't," Effy stated.

"I know," Emily replied.

"So what're you waiting on?" Effy asked.

Emily smiled. "I am a Fitch—she's going to have to work a little bit first."

"Even though you've already forgive her?" Effy asked, smirking.

"Exactly," Emily replied.

"That is a very Katie thing to do, Emily Fitch," Effy said.

"What's a very Katie thing to do?" Katie's voice suddenly sounded from across the yard.

"Making Naomi suffer," Effy answered.

"Make her suffer a lot," Katie said, joining them over by the swings. "The bitch deserves it."

"Are you ever going to stop calling her that?" Emily asked.

"Maybe when she stops being a bitch," Katie said with a shrug. "So, are you two like girlfriends now?"

"Not exactly," Emily replied.

"Good," Katie said, receiving a look from Effy. "What? It's no secret that I don't like her. If Emily has to be with a girl, I don't see why it has to be her."

"Because she loves her," Effy stated.

Katie scoffed. "Don't say that."

"It's true," Effy said, shrugging.

"Is it, Em?" Katie asked.

"I don't know," Emily replied. "Maybe—probably—yeah."

"You couldn't have picked someone else?" Katie asked.

"Leave her alone," Effy said, kicking Katie's foot.

"By the way, mum saw your little make out session with her," Katie announced. "She's inside freaking out."

"Shit!" Emily said. "What did you say?"

"That you do that," Katie replied.

Emily was surprised her sister didn't make up some excuse about Naomi forcing Emily to kiss her. She definitely would call this progress.

"How badly is she freaking out?" Emily asked.

Katie shrugged. "You know mum; she's ranting about how you can't possibly know what you want at this age. I reminded her that she was already married to dad when she was our age."

"Are you going to go in?" Effy asked.

"In a bit," Emily replied.

"You okay?" Effy asked.

"This has certainly been an eventful night," Emily said with a laugh. "I think I'm more than okay, though."

Effy nodded. "I think I'm gonna see Cook. I'm going to call him tomorrow."

"Want any company?" Emily asked.

Effy shrugged. "I'll let you know."

Katie scoffed. "Like hell you will. We're going with you; just let us know when I where."

"Alright," Effy said, smiling.

Emily looked at her friend and sister with a smile. Things had changed a lot over the past semester, but there was one thing that hadn't changed—she knew these were the two people she could count on most. They had their faults, but she loved them both, and she knew they loved her back.

Maybe soon she would be able to add Naomi to the list.

She smiled at the thought of the blonde. She wasn't going to make her wait long—maybe a day or two—and then she was going to try to get it right this time. Effy was right about not being able to start over, but that's not what Emily wanted this time. She didn't want to forget their past—it made them who they were and, despite her flaws, she loved who Naomi was—but she did want to move on to their future.