The Chronicles of Boredom-Busting

by WhoNeedsReality

When Sarah and Emily are bored, and get onto to the wrong train at a School Trip, they don't expect to find themselves transported to another world, controlled entirely by Emily's magic book. They journey through great works of fiction, but with two cranky 13-year-olds, it's bound to be hilarious! Includes HP, Narnia, LotR, and many more. My first fic, so R&R!

4. The Wonderful Wizard of Death

The next hour was almost as eventful as the school's infamous Christmas fundraiser of 2009. We got thrown off a boat by Captain Hook, fell down a rabbit hole and evaded a temperamental playing-card queen, Sarah got stuck in Aladdin's genie's lamp, I had to get Robinson Crusoe off his Island, we ran into Percy Jackson, and also got to knock the heads of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan together (I'm not sure if this was strictly necessary, but you don't pass up an opportunity like that). As for the book, it established itself as a shapeshifter, and metamorphosed more times than Lady Gaga has outfits.

We had just narrowly avoided getting shot by an arrow in the Hunger Games, when Sarah spoke: "We've got to get out of here."
I rolled my eyes. "No, really Sherlock?"
"No- here!" She pointed ahead.
I turned to look- then wished I hadn't. A grotesque, ghost-like figure was approaching us. He was cloaked. He was as pale as bone. He had about as much hair on his head as Humpty-Dumpty. It was terrible to behold. Most horrible of all, however- he had no nose.
"Voldemort," I whispered.
"Don't say the name!" Sarah hissed, but it was too late. His head twisted to face us with an audible snap, and he came towards us. We were paralysed with fear, too terrified to move. In what seemed like years, he reached us. And I recognised his expression from every movie. It was the one of cold, cruel ecstasy that he wore before raising his wand to kill. It clearly meant death.
***

Look, I'm not sure how to justify what I did then. I can only say that the Harry Potter fan inside me awakened, and a golden opportunity presented itself to me. I snapped a twig off a tree, and strode towards the most dangerous dark wizard of all time, one who shouldn't even be real, brandishing nothing but a pretend (not to my mind, though) wand.

If you really want to know, the next display of my boundless brilliance was to wave the stick in his face, shouting "STUPEFY! EXPELLIARMUS! PROTEGO!" until I ran out of spells.
"Put the wand down, dear, at least die with dignity," hissed Sarah, "you're only embarrassing yourself."

However, something in my 'strategy' must've worked, because The Dark Lord faltered before drawing his wand, in awe of my sheer stupidity. It was this faltering that saved us, because before he had time to curse us, a piercing noise tore through the air. It was, at that moment, music to my ears, that sound of "cat-playing-bagpipes-under-torture". The white-and-red London train flattened the evil wizard and opened it's doors.