Ton Up
By: The Hatter Theory
Chapter 14
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
Notes: Oh god, it has been a crazy summer. I'm remodeling several rooms from the floor up, and this past week or so has been crazy since I've been taking care of a very, very sick stray kitten that adopted us on top of remodeling. In the attempt to let everyone know what's going on with updates etc, I've started a tumblr, which is linked in my profile.
This is an uncensored chapter.
Waking up the next morning was the sort of experience Kagome didn't want to repeat. For one, the room was empty, devoid of the youkai that had brought her there. And his helmet. When she sat up, her body reminded her of the previous night's events and what they had entailed. What had been lost in a haze of sensation came back with startling clarity. Scrapes and bruises that more than outnumbered what she had gotten from falling from the bike screamed in protest as she stood, and pain flared between her legs. When she walked over to his bags and pulled out a pair of his boxers and a shirt, she couldn't stop the slight limp that affected her step.
Hoping he had just gone to get breakfast and wanted to let her sleep, she quietly stepped out of the room and walked to the next door. Knocking quietly, she moved to the next door when there was no answer. The door to Ginta's room opened readily, Hakkaku looking down at her with a worried expression.
"He's not here," She started, trying to explain, but Hakkaku was pulling her into the room, frowning slightly when he noticed her she moved awkwardly.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," She muttered, flushing hotly. She didn't want to explain that she was moving so strangely because of Kouga. The last thing she wanted to do was make him sound like he was abusive, especially in front of Ayumi, who sat on the bed, wide eyed. Kagome sat down next to her, accepting the blanket Ginta bundled around her even though she wasn't particularly cold.
When two things occurred to her. Really occurred to her.
The first was that Ayumi was in the room.
The second was that the two youkai were youkai. Not humans. Not wearing human disguises.
"You guys told her?" Kagome asked, eyes widening as she looked from her friend to the two youkai, who sat on the floor next to each other, staring up at both her and Ayumi.
"I was worried Kouga was going to hurt you," Ayumi began. "When you both just veered off and drove away, I- Kagome, you saw him last night. If it had been any other guy doing something like that, you would have worried too."
Kagome couldn't help but acknowledge the truth of the statement. If she had seen a human male acting like that, she would have kept her friend away from him. There was a level of possessiveness that she wouldn't have been comfortable experiencing with a human male. But having known youkai, especially Kouga, it hadn't been surprising. What had followed had been, though, and she still wasn't sure it was something she liked or could deal with.
"Ookami are, when we choose someone, it's not done lightly, and we do try to keep things within certain boundaries," Ginta tried to explain. "But we do have instincts. Even now we have to deal with them. It's easier, especially since we've been around humans for so long. But sometimes something trips them into alert mode. That happened last night. We saw a threat. Since you're Kouga's wo-erm, partner," Ginta said, blushing hotly when Kagome brought her knees up to her chest.
"What he's trying to say is that Kouga saw a threat to his partner, and it sent his instincts into a sort of free fall," Hakkaku finished. "We knew he wouldn't harm you, but-"
"But he wasn't entirely himself," Ayumi tried, when Hakkaku paused.
"No, he was," Ginta sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "He was his most instinctual self last night. What Kagome saw, what I saw when he got back, that was Kouga, it was just-"
"Kouga acting as a wolf," Kagome supplied, beginning to understand. Both Ginta and Hakkaku nodded quietly, eyes growing worried.
"He left earlier, we tried to stop him, but he-"
"Needed space to try and figure out what happened," Hakkaku finished.
"I'm still not sure what happened," Kagome sighed, accepting Ayumi's quiet support when her friend leaned against her.
"Did you want us to go grab some breakfast?" Ginta asked, giving her an oblique glance. Kagome nodded, grateful for some space from the youkai. Even though they had done nothing wrong, they were youkai, so what she was feeling increasingly strange about was normal for them. Also, they were males, and at the moment, she needed to talk to a female that would understand, assuming of course, Ayumi didn't blast her for not revealing the truth about the youkai earlier. Kagome liked to think that out of all of her friends, Ayumi was the most understanding and considerate. Hopefully the simple realities of the situation would be understood.
"We'll be back soon," Hakkaku promised, standing with his pack mate and walking out quietly, ignoring their helmets and jackets.
"Guys," Ayumi started, worried. Ginta smiled back at her before closing the door. "We're taking the truck."
Ayumi nodded and the door closed, leaving them alone in the confines of the small hotel room.
"Kagome, are you alright?" Ayumi asked.
"He left me," Kagome muttered, staring down at the blanket creasing and folding over the tops of her knees. "Just, not even an explanation."
"Kagome, maybe he was afraid you'd be angry," Ayumi tried. "The guys were worried last night too, even if they tried not to show it. Maybe Kouga thought you wouldn't-"
"I'm so tired of guys just taking off when they're faced with some sort of emotional outburst, especially when it's their own," Kagome snapped, more to the air than to her friend. "I'm fine, it's not like he tried to kill me. Even if it was the more instinctual side of himself, it was still him, and he recognized me."
"He knows that, but he might not realize that you do."
Kagome didn't want understanding or peace talks, she wanted a friend to rant and rail against Kouga's flight without even a simple explanation. Instead, she'd been forced to hear it from his pack mates, and that crossed the border of awkward and humiliating.
"I've known dozens of youkai, I dealt with them all with understanding. He should have realized I would at least have an idea of what was going on, and explained it to me. It's not like I walked into a relationship with him blind to the fact that he's not human!"
Except she had, in some ways, and it was a startling, bitter truth. Kouga had, at times, seemed more human than even Inu Yasha in the past. In the current era, almost all traces of his youkai existence had faded. Apart from being more sensitive to smells and sounds, he didn't seem much different, even when his disguise wasn't in place. The part of him that she had seen the night before had been a frightening revelation, at first. Now it was just another part of him to accept, although she knew it would take her time to do so, and to correlate the savage facet with the playful, rough around the edges person he had become.
"Ginta said that Kouga might have been giving you time to wake up and leave, if you wanted," Ayumi said quietly, wrapping an arm over her shoulder. Kagome leaned into her.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And I've heard a lot of dumb stuff," Kagome snorted.
"We are friend's with Yuka and Eri," Ayumi pointed out pragmatically, earning a choked giggle from Kagome before continuing. "I mean, some of the stuff they've come up with has been pretty out there, you have to admit."
"They do come up with some pretty silly ideas," Kagome agreed. "But still, nothing as stupid as me wanting to leave Kouga over something like this. Although, you think I can get away with calling him a werewolf now?"
Something about Ayumi's initial statement had broken the tension, and Kagome clung to the levity of the conversation, because the tension had gotten too tight, the ideas too oppressive, too frightening to contemplate.
"So," Ayumi finally said, looking at her evenly. "Youkai."
"It's a long story," Kagome sighed. While the conversation didn't become serious, it wasn't lighthearted or joking any longer.
"I think we have time."
"You remember when I was sick all of the time?" At Ayumi's nod, Kagome continued, explaining the well and the basics of the jewel, outlining her adventure, censoring out the near death experiences and the heartache that had been an almost constant bedfellow there. By the time she had finished, Ayumi had moved away and laid down on her back, and Kagome had assumed the same pose, both of them sharing the blanket and cuddling pillows from the bed.
"So, you met them five hundred years ago?" Ayumi asked, eyes wide. Kagome nodded, expecting something, anything, that counted as a bad reaction.
"It sounds exciting. A lot more exciting than gout, anyway," Ayumi giggled.
"Ugh, grandpa and his medical journal," Kagome groaned, burying her face into the pillow, earning even more laughter.
Ayumi was still giggling madly, and even Kagome was laughing when the door opened and both Ginta and Hakkaku walked in, both carrying bags in each hand.
"Kouga's back," Ginta said quietly. "If you want to talk to him."
"I'll be back in a minute, don't eat everything," Kagome instructed, getting off of the bed and making sure to take the blanket with her. Leaving the room and walking to Kouga's, she didn't knock before opening the door. He was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall, shoulders slumped and face blank.
Walking over quietly, she sat next to him and leaned into his warmth.
"I'm sorry," He said, voice thick. The words rasped and ground together unpleasantly, as if he'd been screaming and his throat was sore and scratched. Kagome worried, but felt a flash of anger. If he had just stayed, had spoken to her, he wouldn't have put himself through whatever he had that morning. And she had a distinct feeling it hadn't been pleasant.
"I would have liked you to stay to explain it to me. Hearing it from the guys was a bit awkward," She told him honestly. "But it's okay. I knew you weren't human. I wasn't expecting something like that, but you still knew me, and I don't think you'll ever not know me."
"But-" He started, looking down at her. She saw the tangling confusion and self derision and nudged him with her elbow.
"I'm fine."
"I hurt you," He tried, almost as if he was looking for a reason to give her to be angry.
"I don't remember complaining," She snorted, brow arching when his eyes widened in surprise. "Kouga, the only thing that worried me, before I sort of completely forgot," She said, blushing heavily. "Was that you didn't use any protection. It's when you kept going that I realized something else was going on. We've both been really careful about it until now, so when you didn't look for one, I knew something was up. And I don't mind, except for the fact that we didn't use anything."
"I wasn't thinking," He admitted. "I don't remember anything but just needing to cover you in my scent. I don't-" He stopped again, running a hand through his mussed hair.
"When I get back to Tokyo, I'll go on the pill, in case it happens again. But otherwise Kouga, I'm fine."
"I saw you, you're covered in bruises and scratches."
"All of which I enjoyed receiving immensely," She told him, standing and tugging at him. But he stayed seated, face pressed against her stomach. Knowing it would probably take him as long to accept, if it not longer, that he had done her some physical hurt, she stroked his hair, smiling when she remembered him explaining what petting was.
"You know, I didn't peg you as kinky," She added. "Or myself for that matter."
A muffled snort blew across her belly, making her jump slightly from the sensation of being tickled.
"Everything considered, the only bad part besides the lack of protection were the sticks digging into my butt."
Kouga pulled away, looking up at her with a sort of hesitant, almost wary hope.
"Kouga, I'm fine. Except that I'm hungry, and whatever the guys brought back smelled delicious. If I don't eat something soon I'm going to turn into a werewolf and eat you," She told him, smiling as she said it. A crooked, lopsided sort of half smile tilted his lips, and she tugged at his hand, pulling him to his feet.
"Thank you," He mumbled, hugging her tightly before she had a chance to walk for the door. "You are-"
"Hungry," She said, looking up at him with a completely innocent expression, earning an honest, chest rumbling laugh. "You got your meal last night old wolf. It's time for mine."
"Fair enough," He chuckled, following her as she tugged him to the door and onto the walkway. When she opened the door to Ginta's room, the three on the bed all looked at them, abruptly silent.
"You guys better have saved some food," Kagome grumbled, walking over to the bags and sitting on the floor. Kouga sat behind her, legs on either side of her as he pulled her close.
Ayumi looked from the two youkai, who lacked disguises, to Kouga shyly.
"She wanted us to chase you two down. We couldn't figure out how to explain without telling her," Hakkaku said, seeing Kouga's worried expression.
"Ah," Kouga said, relaxing immediately.
"What do you look like?" Ayumi asked, head tilting curiously. Kagome couldn't see Kouga's disguise fading, except for his hands, where his nails rounded and turned to claws. Ayumi's surprised gasp told her when it had finished.
"This is so strange," Ayumi finally admitted. "I know youkai and a time traveling miko."
"Nix on the time traveling," Kagome laughed, smiling and shrugging. "The well stopped working, and my life is here now. Besides, they didn't have motorcycles in the feudal era, and that's the only way I'm ever going to be as fast as Kouga," She added.
"Boss did have a tendency to run and leave everyone else behind," Hakkaku snorted.
"You guys are just slow," Kouga rumbled, taking a bite of the chicken biscuit Kagome held over her shoulder.
"Males and their egos," She muttered, voice filled with mock exasperation. But she couldn't help but be relieved. Small catastrophes, but ones that could have easily destroyed the relationship she was building with Kouga. While they hadn't addressed the possibility of her being pregnant, she assumed they would later. Preferably after she had gotten a shower. Preferably with him, because she was having a hard time not cuddling up to him. Even after everything that had happened, he felt safe, and the steady, solid assurance his presence provided was hard to move from. While she knew it made no sense logically, she clung to that comfort, and even after finishing her breakfast she didn't move away, instead choosing to lean further back into him and listening as the youkai explained more of their lives, as if their alpha's presence had given them a sort of permission.
As Kagome listened, she realized she felt better, more relaxed. Maybe it was that she wasn't the only human to know about her adventures, aside from her family. Maybe it was that it was a friend, a good friend, that knew about youkai and accepted them easily, her initial reaction apparently being little more than surprise, which had quickly turned into fascination. What loneliness had existed faded, and though Kagome knew better than to tell Yuka or Eri, both of whom would freak out, maybe even tell others, she felt that Ayumi knowing was good, maybe even right, in a way, given her growing friendship with the youkai.
"I think I need a shower," She finally whispered, tilting her head so she spoke directly into Kouga's ear. He nodded, helping her to her feet as she stood. The others nodded in their direction, continuing their conversation as she and Kouga left their room.
Once they were back in his, she dropped the blanket on the bed, surprised when he moved it over to the lone chair in the room.
"It's Ginta's," He grumbled. She nodded, immediately remembering his declaration about smells the night before and blushing hotly. He was also steadfastly avoiding looking at her.
"You're going to make me shower by myself?" She asked, brows raised as if shocked. The genuine surprise in his expression made her heart ache, a flash of something sharp that made her walk over to him and tug him to the bathroom, ignoring his hesitation.
Quickly turning the knobs, she turned back to him, determined to erase the shadows that had been clouding his vision since she had seen him. Ignoring his halfhearted attempt to resist, she began pulling his shirt up until it was over his head, exposing the tawny, muscled skin of his chest and stomach. There wasn't a bruise or a scratch to be seen, although she had been sure she had left some the night before.
Running her hands over his skin, she smoothed her palms over his chest and up his neck to cup his face, forcing him to look down at her.
"It's in your nature to protect and posses," She whispered quietly. "It's a part of you."
His hands came to rest on her own, holding them there as he blinked slowly. Slowly he turned his nose into hr palm, nuzzling it gently.
"You're more than I deserve," He rumbled.
"I accept you," She told him. "You're the one I want to be with."
He didn't protest when she unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them down his hips with his boxers, only toeing off his boots and socks and kicking the pile of clothing to the side until he was naked. Her fingers ran over his skin, down his chest and over his hips, tracing the lines of well defined muscles. She said nothing as he pulled her shirt over her head, and the boxers easily fell to the floor. Too afraid to shatter the tenuous peace, she stepped into the shower and waited until he had stepped in to pull the curtain back.
The warm water was hot enough to sting the small cuts and pinpricks, but it soothed muscles that had been sore when she woke. His presence behind her was a palpable thing as she let the water course over her skin. For a moment she was afraid to look back, afraid he would get out of the shower. But his hand smoothed up her back, resting between her shoulder blades before he was embracing her, her back pressed against him as he nuzzled her cheek.
Claws moved over the lines of shallow cuts and outlined bruises, and even then she could feel his regret, as if he had committed some horrible wrong. Turning in his arms, she cupped his face, wanting more than anything to erase the self censure she saw. Standing on tip toe, she brushed her lips against his, sad that for the first time since they had kissed he was the one to hesitate, allowing her to direct the kiss.
"Please," She whispered against his lips. "Please don't pull away. You're safe with me," She promised, nuzzling his nose with her own. He nodded, gasping for breath, body shivering against her own. His arms tightened around her, almost too tight, as if he was afraid she'd vanish the moment he let go. His kiss was desperate, flavored with the need for assurance.
Giving everything she had, trying to will every ounce of her willingness and her own need to sooth the hurt that welled up from a dark corner of him that he seemed to fear, she kissed back fervently, hands running through his wet hair and holding him close. His body trembled, burned against hers, and when he grabbed her thigh she lifted without protest, allowing him to grab the other and push her against the cold tile all of the stall.
Her body protested when she felt him pushing into her, but she said nothing, knowing he needed the comfort more than she did, the reassurance that she was there. Hugging his neck she buried her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of him mixing with water. His hands held her firmly, but she could tell he was trying to keep from hurting her with his claws, and he rocked slowly back and forth, barely moving.
Tightening her legs around his waist, she kissed along his shoulder and neck, held fast even when his body trembled. She knew, maybe better than he did, if he did at all, that it was different than the other times. Each slow thrust they were connecting and she was slowly brought to pleasure. Understanding that he wasn't just lost in the fear that had seized him, but that he was intentionally being gentle, she forced the pain away from her mind and focused on him pressed against her, surrounding her. Warm water and slick skin blurred into one another as he pulled her closer to the edge.
Her release wasn't the sudden crashing she had come to know, the almost abrupt departure from reality, but something slower, drawing her deeper into warmth until she couldn't distinguish where he began and she ended. Drowning in it, she shivered and trembled, a languid, heavy heat pooling in her veins as her blood seemed to slow. Keening softly against his shoulder, she felt him pulling away, knew he was being as careful as he could be, given their carelessness. But the heaviness persisted, and she couldn't find it in herself to care when he slowly let her down and turned off the knobs.
He led her to bed, not even bothering to dry off as he pulled her down and covered both of them. Refusing to face away from him, she tucked herself against him and nipped at his chin lightly, gratified when he looked down at her and touched the tip of his tongue to her nose.
"You can say it and not get hit now," She said, half of her words lost in a yawn as she snuggled deeper into him.
"Say what?" He asked, voice rough.
"That I'm your woman."
"Mine," He said, voice firm.
"Yours," She promised.
–
When she woke, he was staring down at her, eyes regarding her with a hint of worry.
"What's wrong?" She asked, a strange plummeting feeling immediately making her feel nauseated. "Did something happen?"
"No, just- It'll be a day or two before I can tell if-"
"If what?" She asked, completely bewildered.
"If you're-" He started, then stopped. Kagome realized then that she really hated it when people did that, especially when they looked worried.
"If I'm what?" She demanded when he didn't continue.
"Pregnant."
The hesitation and finality of his words mad it sound like a death sentence, something she could, in some way, agree with. Ever the pragmatist, she knew that she had wanted to find a career and figure out her life before having children. And even though Kouga felt like more than just a simple boyfriend, she wasn't sure what he felt about her, and despite her hopes, she also knew people, and relationships, changed. That a child would complicate things was an immense understatement.
"We'll figure it out if you find out I am," She said, not knowing what else to say.
"I always wanted- But not like this," He admitted, pulling her close.
"Me too," Kagome replied softly, nuzzling his chest. "I wanted to be older, out of school. Married," She added with a laugh. "But it hasn't happened yet, so we can't worry about it, or we'll drive ourselves crazy."
They lapsed into silence, and Kagome looked for something, anything to talk about.
"When I go back to Tokyo, I'm going to need to get my permit," She said, pulling something out of the blue. Kouga nodded, latching onto the new topic as much as she needed to. "I don't know anything about traffic laws."
"That's simple," He told her, relaxing. "Let me grab my laptop."
"I didn't realize you'd brought it."
"I was going to work on an article, but this is fine," He told her, pulling it from his bag with the cord and plugging it in. She waited patiently while he got back in the bed, and ignoring the fact that they were both naked, she curled up next to him while he pulled up an online book for motorcyclists and began reading with her, explaining each part.
Kagome relaxed, and so did he. She wondered if it was because he was back in his element, and if he'd drifted that far from the more youkai like aspects of his nature. If he had, and she couldn't help but worry that he had, like Inu Yasha denying his own dual nature, she resolved to help him accept it, and hopefully show him that she accepted it as well.