Hi everyone yes I know I'm updating YAY! SUPER IMPORTANT! One thing that I will change is that only Kira's right hand is broken I realized how difficult things would be if both hands were broken so yeah.
When we arrived at Kira's house I went straight to her room. Kira was still knocked out so I placed her as gently as I could on her bed and tucked her in. I sat on the floor and leaned my head on the bed. So many thoughts flowed through my head as I remembered what Edward made Kira confess. I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about what those monsters did to my Kira. But Edward said that Kira was going onto 3,000 kills so did that mean my Kira, my little angel was a monster as well? I looked at Kira's face and for once that I have since I've met her did she actually look relaxed. I brushed the strands of hair on her face away. I stood up to go to the kitchen. As I made my way downstairs I walked pass a picture frame that was facing down. I picked it up and saw my Kira as a little girl. She was smiling so widely and her parents were right next to her. They seemed like the perfect family and they all looked so happy. I made myself some lunch and ate it. An hour passed and I went back upstairs to check on Kira. I walked into her room to see that she was still asleep. I walked over to her and placed a kiss on her forehead.
I heard wake up. She made little grunting noises as she tried to push herself up. I sat next to her and helped her sit up. She looked at me and then looked down at her hands.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked her. She didn't answer she just kept looking at her hands twisting and turning her left hand because her right one was broken and in a cast. I figured she wasn't going to answer so I just held her.
"I'm wondering what my life would have been like." She suprised me by answering. Her voice wasn't one that I was used to. This voice sounded so broken, so vulnerable, and so lost.
"Do you mean what your life would have been like if you're parents weren't killed?" I asked her as gently as I could because I didn't know how fragile she was at the moment. She merely nodded and never took her eyes off of her hands. I moved one of my hands that was on her waist to rest on top of her left hand. She merely looked at it and then placed it on top of her other hand.
"Does it hurt?" I asked. She shook her head. She then started tracing little patterns on my hand and turned it so my palm was facing up. With her tiny fingers she followed the lines on my hands.
"Paul what do you do?" She asked me, still not looking at me but at her hand that was still tracing little patterns mindlessly. "I don't know what you mean?" I told her. "I mean what do you do for living? Do you have a job?" She clarified.
"I'll help my friend out at a mechanic shop from time to time. But I'm mostly with the other guys." I then proceeded to explain everything to her about the pack. She would nod her head and throw a question out from time to time. I left out the part of imprinting because honestly I don't know if she would be able to handle that much information right now. "Why did you want to know Kira?"
"Because when I look at your hands they're soft but a little bit calloused as if you use them for some type of rough job." She answered. She said nothing more and continued with the tracing.
"What do you see when you look at your own hands?" I asked her. Her fingers stopped tracing my hand. She lifted her hand and brought it to her face as if to get a better look at it.
"I see a lot of blood. A lot of death, a lot of pain. I see the hands of a monster of a killer." She said her voice quivering as if it scared her to say those words. I grabbed her hand and held it between my own and locked our fingers. I felt moisture hit our joined hands as she began to cry. "I see the hands of killer and I want nothing more than to be rid of them. But everytime I look they're there. Always reminding me of the blood I've spilt." She managed to say. Her shoulders began to shake as her crying got more and more intense. Pretty soon she began to hiccup from the tears and the sobbing. I squeezed her shoulder. I brought my lips to her ear and whispered.
"Do you know what I see when I look at your hands?" I told her. "I see the hands of a beautiful girl who is lost in a world that she was forced into. I see the hands of a girl who wants to be free of the world." She stopped crying and looked at me in the eyes. I looked straight into her eyes as I finished telling her what I needed to say and what she needed to hear. "I see the hands of a girl who misses her family so much. I see the hands of a girl who wants nothing more than to be loved by someone." When I finish she looks at me with her violet eyes watering with unshed tears. She closes her eyes and the tears fall. I let go of her hand to lift her chin up.
"Kira open your eyes." I tell her and watch as her eyelids open to reveal the violet eyes that I love. "Kira I know you miss your family and I know that you did what you had to in order to survive. You're not a monster-"
"You don't know that Paul. You can't even imagine what it is that I've done." She tells me.
"You're right I don't know. But I know you're not a monster Kira. I know with everything that I am that you're not a monster." I tell her.
"How Paul? How can you be so sure?" She asks me looking at me begging me with her eyes to share this knowlegde with her.
"Because no monster cries over what it has done that's why." I tell her. She closes her eyes and throws her arms around my neck. We stay in that position for what seems like eternity but I don't mind.
"Thank you." She whispers so softly that if I wasn't a wolf I wouldn't have been able to hear it. I give her cheek a peck before I pull away from our embrace. She looks at me confused by my actions. I grab her hand and help her stand up before explaining that she needed to eat something. We made our way downstairs and into the kitchen our hands still interlocked with each other. I let go of her hand to make the both of use a sandwhich. We sit on the table and begin to eat before I ask one of the questions that have been bugging me.
"Kira." Kira looks up at me waiting for me to continue. "Why do you get mad when I look at you?"
"You look at me with this intense stare that it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable." She answered.
Kira's POV
"Why? How does it make you uncomfortable?" Paul asked me.
"I don't know. I feel exposed somehow." I stop to think as to how exactly it makes me feel. "I don't know how it just does." I tell him. Paul then grabs both of my hands into his. "Paul what are you doing?" I ask him.
"Kira I'm going to do something and I don't want you to think just feel okay." He tells me.
"What are you going to do?" I ask him scared of the situation. He must've seen the look on my face because he lets go of my right hand and rubs my cheek ever so slightly. "Don't be scared Kira it's nothing bad. Just trust me."
"I don't trust anyone Paul."
"Please just try."
"Fine." I close my eyes and force my body to relax. I feel Paul's hand continue to brush my cheek. The other hand squeezes my hand and I sense Paul coming closer to me. I feel his breath on my face and then his lips touch mine softly. I open my eyes in shock and Paul puts a little bit more pressure on my lips. My eyes close slowly as I let myself feel and I press my lips to Paul slightly, liking the electric spark that is zipping through my veins. I feel Paul's hand move from my cheek to the back of my neck and adds more pressure to our lips. 'This feels so right.' I begin to move lips with Paul as Paul begins to gain more and more confidence as do I. I let go of his hand and reach my arms to wrap around his neck as I press my body closer to his. He wraps one around my waist the other is still on the back of my neck. I then feel something wet brush against my lips. I gasp in shock and Paul's tongue takes advantage and plunges into my mouth. His tongue explores every inch of my mouth and tries to coax my tongue to join in. I feel the blush on my face as my tongue touches Paul's just the tiniest bit. Paul growls and moves me from my seat into his lap.
Paul's POV
I feel her light weight settle comfortably on my lap as I continue to lavish her mouth. The kiss turns possessive on my end and I hear her let out a low moan that sounded so sexy and sent my senses into overdrive. I mold her into my body and find that she is a perfect fit just like I knew she would be. Our breaths become ragged as I continue my assault on her luscious lips. She pulls away and begins to gasp for air as I begin to regain my breath. She looks down at our position her on top of me straddling my lap and blushes a beautiful red. She removes herself from me and walks into the living room.
'Shit I think I just scared the crap out of her.' I walk to her and sit next to her on the same couch. I notice that she is still blushing. "Did I scare you?" I ask her praying that she says no. "No you didn't. It's just that was-" I see her gulp and notice that her breathing is still a little uneven. "wow." I smile smugly and I move so that I'm towering over her. I lean to her and she ends up laying on the couch with me on hovering over her. "Wow. Huh?" I say huskily.
"Um y-yeah."
I smile and attack her lips once again this time not holding anything back. I enter her mouth roaming over inside her mouth. I slanted my mouth over hers again and again. As the kiss became more and more heated. Her fingers thread themselves into my hair. 'Take it easy Paul. Calm down.' I pull myself away from her and notice that she is blushing even more and her breathing is more labored. I give her a quick kiss on her forehead and pull her up.
I sit there and notice how that she tenses up. I remember that what she has gone through and mentally kick myself. I kneel on the floor in front of her and grab both of her hands with my own taking great care not to injure her further.
"Kira I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you after what you've been through. I'm really sorry if you want I'll get you a frying pan so you can hit me over the head with it. I really am really sorry-"
"Paul are you apologizing for kissing me?" Kira looks at me bewildered.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I know that you've been through a lot and I shouldn't have pushed you into the kiss. I'm really sorry Kira." I look at her and wonder how seriously piss she is with me.
Kira's POV
I look at Paul as he is apologizing to me and realize that he is sincere. I start to tear up as a feeling sweeps over me. A feeling that I haven't felt in a long time washes over me. Happiness. Love. I begin to cry again. Great I'm crying again! What the hell is going on with me.
"Oh shit Kira I didn't mean to make you cry. Aw man I'm such a douche bag Kira I'm sorry I should've never forced myself onto you either of times. Kira please don't cry please." Paul tells me as he tries to sooth my tears. I begin to laugh an actual heart filled laugh.
"Kira are you okay?" Paul asks me and he looks at me with concern. "I'm fine Paul."
I look him in the eyes. "I think I'm going to be just fine."
YAY! I UPDATED! Okay so I know this chapter is a little out of character for Kira but I'm trying to ease her into this new way of feeling. So love it hate it let me know.