Dave stowed his phone back in his pocket, unpausing the video game he and Karkat were currently playing. It was a game he had bought recently called Borderlands. Roxy Lalonde was actually the one who suggested he buy it, and he couldn't say it was a bad decision. It was especially fun playing with his best bro. As they played, Dave wondered how best to tell Karkat that he had just invited Eridan and Roxy to hang out with them the following day. After all, he had not asked.
"So Roxy and Eridan are going to kick it with us tomorrow," he informed his gray, nubby-horned compadre. Karkat immediately hit pause and turned to face Dave, frowning deeply.
"Why the fuck would you invite them to hang out with us? Do you want to watch their gross sloppy interspecies make out session, you sick fuck? Because I personally don't find that all too goddamn appealing, to be honest with you, and I don't know why you thought it'd be cool to just invite them to MY place without even fucking asking me, seriously, you act like you own the place…" he continued on this rant for quite a while. Dave just tuned him out. They'd been best friends for years now, so Dave was used to this kind of behavior. He knew Karkat wasn't actually angry, he just wanted to bitch for the sake of bitching, which Dave didn't mind. Dave was too cool to mind.
When Karkat finally trailed off and his shouts turned to angry mutters, Dave decided to speak.
"Are you done with that weird rampage you just went on or what?" he inquired in his usual cool kid monotone. When Karkat didn't respond, he pressed on, "Alright good. Anyway, I invited them over because shit is apparently ridiculous levels of awkward between the two of them now, and I thought it'd be pretty kick ass of me to help Roxy out. She's my friend, and I figured hanging out in a group would be less awkward for them than hanging out alone."
Dave observed as Karkat struggled to find something to be angry about. He could practically see Karkat picking apart everything he had just said, piece by piece, desperately trying to find one bit of it that was unsavory, something he could fly off the fucking handle about.
"Well," he began after a moment, causing Dave to smirk, "just make sure they don't fucking start acting all mushy, if things get less awkward between them."
Dave nodded his agreement and the video game was once more unpaused. They were in the middle of a quest, and while Dave opted to explore and search for treasure, Karkat was hell bent on accomplishing their main objective as quickly as possible. In his not-so-humble opinion, it made more sense to do that, and they would reap more benefits in the long run anyway. Dave politely disagreed, and so, even though they were supposed to be working together in-game, they were miles apart. Not that either of them gave a shit.
After a few minutes of silence, Karkat paused the game once more. Dave gave an exaggerated sigh, just to mess with Karkat and make him think Dave was actually upset. For some reason, even though they'd been best friends (moirails?) for years, Karkat had not caught on to the fact that Dave pretty much never got upset.
Karkat scrunched up his face, taking the bait and letting Dave's sigh get under his skin. Success.
"So, you're better friends with Roxy than I am. And I'm better friends with Eridan than you are," Karkat began, apparently trying to disregard Dave's being disgruntled, "So like, I was wondering…does she really like him?"
This question caused a legitimate smile to break across Dave's face. This was too fucking priceless. Nasty, angry, spiteful Karkat was genuinely concerned with the emotional well-being of his fishy friend. It was so hilarious it was almost adorable, not that anyone but Dave would ever know that thought crossed Dave's mind.
"She's liked him for a while now, dude," Dave responded coolly, "Why do you care, though? You hate Eridan, remember?" he teased.
Karkat blushed a deep red. "I don't care, necessarily, I just want to make sure your friend isn't going to fuck my friend over, because I'LL have to deal with his fucking blubbering." Dave rolled his eyes, but there was still a trace of a smile on his lips. "I'm glad his mind's off Feferi, though," he added as an afterthought.
"Yeah, I bet you are, man. He was fucking crazy obsessed with her," Dave agreed. He couldn't count how many times he'd listened to Karkat rant about how ridiculous Eridan's 'flushed' feelings for Feferi were. He'd heard it so much, he'd gotten second-hand sick of Eridan's shit.
"And I'm honestly proud of him for making a move," Karkat continued thoughtfully, "Because usually he just blunders around and fucks everything up without even getting anywhere with whoever he's obsessing over at the time. So it's pretty goddamn impressive that he managed to actually make a move on her," he paused for a second, then added, "It's even more impressive she actually likes him."
"Yeah, he seems pretty high maintenance. They're a fucking weird pair, Roxy is so laid back and chill."
Karkat turned off his game console. They had both fallen silent, each wondering how tomorrow would go, each worrying about their respective friends. Well, Karkat was doing most of the worrying. Dave didn't particularly give a shit how things went tomorrow, not just because he was perpetually ice cold, but also because Roxy wasn't nearly as emotionally unstable as Eridan. She would come out alright if things went south with the dude.
Still, Dave decided to change the topic.
"Did you get that Chemistry homework done dude?" he asked hopefully, remembering that he still hadn't done his own. He had a bad habit of just copying Karkat's work.
Karkat gave a long, exasperated sigh and began to rummage through his backpack, extracting the papers and handing them to Dave without question. When Karkat had first taken note of Dave's awful copying habit, he had done his best to talk sense into him. He had ranted and raved and bitched and moaned, but to no avail; Dave didn't particularly give a fuck about any of that so long as he actually got to copy the homework, and somehow he always did. Karkat just couldn't stand the idea of his best friend failing, though he wouldn't admit this to anyone.
Dave smiled at Karkat and, grabbing his own backpack, said, "Thanks, man, for always having my back on shit like this. I'll get this to you first thing in the morning." He offered his fist to Karkat, and Karkat bumped it. Neither of them said goodbye, they just fist bumped and Dave turned, exiting his best friend's home.
As Dave walked, he thought about how much he appreciated that about Karkat. With anyone else, they'd think he was rude for just walking out without saying goodbye. With Karkat, it was different; they were just on the same wavelength. Even though Karkat was a more emotional guy than Dave, they still fit together perfectly.
Even though he'd probably never get the opportunity to say it, Dave had to admit, he loved the guy. Platonically, of course. (Maybe a little homosexually.)