Hi people,
Alright… to begin things, for those people that are reading 'the night class' DO NOT FEAR. I will continue it.
To put it the simplest way I can put it.
'The night class' is like my husband, and this fanfic is like my whore on the side.
;) so I'll be continuing the night class… I don't know about this though o.0 I only did it cause I was really bored and in the mood to make fun of Hiashi. :P
Anyway, RXR
And I don't own Naruto or any of the characters or stuff
X0X0X0X0X0X0X0
Hiashi glared at Neji.
Neji raised a brow.
Hiashi narrowed his eyes.
Neji looked around in confusion.
"Why am I here?" Neji uttered to the glaring Hiashi.
The last thing Neji remembered was innocently minding his own business picking out which shampoo to buy (always a hard task) and everything went dark. He then awoke with his head and arms on a table and he was sitting in a chair. He had opened his eyes and straightened up to be in a small dark room with a glimmering lamp on the steel table separating him and Hiashi who had been glaring at him.
"SILENCE! I ask the questions" Hiashi exclaimed.
"How long were you glaring at me waiting for me to wake up?" Neji raised a brow.
Hiashi glared at Neji "three days"
"WHAT?" Neji exclaimed in shock "THREE DAYS? I HAVE MISSIONS-"
"SILENCE!" Hiashi roared shutting Neji up "Neji… My favourite Nephew-"
"I'm your only nephew"
"-I've heard confusing news" Hiashi continued ignoring Neji "Tenten… is pregnant"
Neji replied casually "oh. Yeah. That"
"Why did this happen?" Hiashi slammed his fist onto the table in outrage.
As soon as Hiashi's fist made contact with the steel table, his outraged expression turned into pain "DEAR MOTHER OF GOD-"
Neji raised a confused brow at the man.
Hiashi blinked noticing Neji's look "I-I mean… Pssht! I'm a MAN" Hiashi straightened his jacket "I can handle pain"
"You're crying"
"Tears of manliness Neji. Tears of manliness" Hiashi replied trying to smile as he hid his whimper and warm tears slid down his face.
"Are you sure? Maybe you should get that che-"
"SILENCE!" Hiashi interrupted Neji once more "as I was SAYING…"
Neji rolled his eyes.
"Tenten is pregnant. Why did this happen?" Hiashi asked through gritted teeth.
"We-"
"DON'T SAY ANYTHING! DON'T EVEN TALK!" Hiashi yelled before Neji got to finish his word.
"But you-"
"I SAID SILENCE! AND SILENCE I SAID!" Hiashi screamed sounding like a little girl.
Neji wiped some spit of his face with a sour expression.
Hiashi started sharpening his knife "We need to discuss things now that there's a little Neji in the uterus of a woman now"
Neji gave Hiashi a weird look "where did you get that knife?"
"From my pants pocket" Hiashi replied smirking.
"But you're wearing a robe" Neji pointed out.
"I SAID SILENCE FOOL!" Hiashi quickly thrust the knife right between Neji's fingers, where his hand had been resting on the table. Neji didn't flinch.
"Nice aim" Neji commented.
"I missed" Hiashi said darkly.
"So you're saying the great Hiashi Hyuga head of the Hyuga clan MISSED?" Neji smirked.
…
"SILENCE!"
Neji rolled his eyes.
Meanwhile…
"And that's how I figured out socks have no specific foot to go onto" Naruto finished proudly as Shikamaru face palmed and Sasuke looked at the moron as if ashamed to be talking to him.
"Wow" Kiba looked at Naruto as if he were a god "I-I … never knew" He looked down at his feet "this changes everything"
Naruto snickered "my reaction exactly"
The two idiots high fived each other and much to Sasuke's surprise didn't head butt each other while yelling 'GROOVY DUDE!'
"Sometimes I like to lie down on the floor and pretend I'm a carrot" Shikamaru muttered.
Sasuke looked at him funny "what the hell?"
"I just really want to talk about something rather than socks"
"YOSH! YOSH! YOSH! YOSH!" A familiar voice barged into the ramen bad dancing around and prancing in happiness, he held a basket full of flowers and was throwing them at all the customers, one of them hit some random kid in the eye causing him to cry in pain "MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS! YOSH!"
Lee skipped over to Sasuke, Naruto, Kiba and Shikamaru merrily on his tippy toes "HOW ARE YOU?"
"Can you NOT yell? You're right INFRONT of us" Sasuke asked.
"APOLOGIES!" Lee continued yelling "HAVE YOU HEARD THE GLORIOUS NEWS!" Lee than grabbed the basket and threw all of the flowers at the guys as if they were some sort of weapons "TENTEN IS WITH CHILD"
Naruto sighed in depression pulling out his wallet and giving thirty bucks to Sasuke. Sasuke smirked checking the money to make sure it was all there. Kiba blinked in response, suddenly getting distracted by his socks again, Shikamaru sighed and threw a rice ball at Lee.
"YOSH! WHY DID YOU DO SUCH? OHHH! I SEE! IT'S AN EXCERSICE! HAHA! GOOD THINKING SHIKA-KUN! I SHALL RUN FIVE LAPS AROUND KONOHA FOR THE RICE BALL!"
Lee ran out of the ramen shop getting ready to run five laps around Konoha leaving Shikamaru to face palm, how was he that stupid? How was that even an excursive? Long ago had Shikamaru given up all hope on figuring out the strange ways of the strange creature known as 'lee'
Back to Neji and Hiashi…
"I-"
"SILENCE!"
Neji gritted his teeth, he was so close to banging his head against the steal table and hoping his skull cracks and he DIES. Death would be better than this shit. Hell. Hiashi could make Morini Ibiki weep in distress.
"FOR FUCKS SAKE! YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME SAY ANYTHING! THIS IS MADNESS!" Neji finally yelled.
"Madness?" Suddenly Hiashi got a funny look in his eye "THIS. IS. SPA- uh – KONOHA!" He roared.
Neji massaged his temples. Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place. He thought.
In Neji's head he was sitting cross legged in a field of dead Hiashi's while stroking a hairless cat and he wore a grin so wide on his face it could rival the Cheshire cat.
"Alright Neji" Hiashi smiled "let's talk this out, I'm sure we can get you out of this situation, just tell me what happened"
Neji sighed "Well, we were at the fair and waiting in line to go on the roller coaster, and the line was really long… So we snuck under the hot dog stand and we had sex"
Hiashi laughed loudly banging his hand on the table, Neji raised an eyebrow… Was it that funny? He thought… Hiashi than sighed, looked at Neji and he wore a sudden look of confusion "Oh? I'm sorry I just remembered a really funny joke, what were you saying? I wasn't listening…"
Neji took a deep breathe biting his lip.
He held so much anger, it was one of those states where the anger was piling up so much, the only thing he felt like doing was bursting into sobs. Wow, Neji thought… Only one person's ever made me want to cry out of sheer stupidity.
Flashback;
"Hey Neji" Naruto came into his room holding up his socks "which sock is the right one and which one goes on the left?"
A giant slap echoed through the streets of Konoha as Neji face palmed so violently he even bruised himself.
End of flashback
"Do you want to hear the joke Neji?" Hiashi asked.
"Sure" Neji muttered violently.
"What did the chicken say to the horse?" Hiashi grinned.
"What?" Neji replied.
"Why the long face? AHAHA- ah… Neji…a-are you crying?" Hiashi asked with a weird look.
"Tears of manliness Hiashi" Neji whispered violently as he rested his mouth on his fist and his elbow rested on the table and the tears slid down his face "tears of manliness"
~end~
Bonus:
Hiashi tiptoed into the supermarket quietly earning a few weird stares from the people around him.
I must be super quiet and careful! Neji has 360 vision! Hiashi thought.
"Hiashi? Is that you?" Kakashi's familiar voice asked sounding very confused.
Hiashi turned around "SHHHHHHHHHHH! NEJI CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS!" Hiashi yelled.
"I'm sure he'll never notice you" Kakashi muttered sarcastically "why are you dressed like a woman?"
Hiashi raised a brow "why are you dressed like a MAN?"
Kakashi furrowed his eyes at Hiashi's stupidity and sighed. Dear god he felt sorry for Neji. Hiashi wore a pink long dress and he wore a blonde wig with red lipstick and badly put on mascara.
"Because I AM a man?" Kakashi answered with a raised brow.
Hiashi rolled his eyes and put a hand on his hip "WELL! If you MUST know! I'M TRYING TO HUNT DOWN NEJI! AND IF HE DOES SEE ME (you know 360 vision) I WANT HIM TO NOT RECOGNISE ME! SO I DRESSED AS A WOMAN!"
Kakashi didn't answer. He just walked away. So taken aback by this man's stupidity he couldn't handle it. Even with all his spent days with Naruto. It was just too much.
Hiashi rolled his eyes and went back to trying to find Neji.
"Excuse-me there ma'am?"
Hiashi turned around to see Jiraiya winking at him seductively "I was so captured by your beauty, I was wondering if you would like to take me out to dinner and then bed"
Hiashi blinked.
"Jiraiya… It's ME Hiashi"
Jiraiya blinked.
"$90 this never happened"
"Deal"
Hiashi went back to stalking Neji who was looking through the Shampoos as he dug his $90 in his dress pocket. Hiashi smirked. Perfect.
"LIPSTICK ATTACK!" Hiashi plunged at the clueless Neji.
X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X
R
E
V
I
E
W