I wake up on my mattress on the floor and look around. I really need to fix this place up soon; it's sort of creepy if I'm honest. I look at the rising sun's light shining on the wood paneled walls. I can see the dust flying around, almost sparkling in the sun. It's a very peaceful way to wake up.
I sit up and cat stretch; instantly relieving my back pain. I'm supposed to be meeting up with peeta in his front yard somewhere around 12:00, I'm guessing considering he said that he'd see me in the afternoon. I'm excited, to be honest. I never really bothered to have many friends, it wasn't very important to me. Back home I used to have two friends, Thomas and Delly. But then after my father died and mother stopped living, burying herself into work, and I was basically raising prim; it was then that I realized that I was pretty much alone. I was left by myself.
I realize now how important friends are, and family. I no longer want to be that depressive girl two years ago that only got to cry during the night because she was the only strong figure in prim's life and needed to be strong. This is exactly why this summer will be different. Because I know I need to try.
I get up and look at my phone for the time. Its only 10:15.
I strip myself of my PJs and pull on a dark green sports bra and some tight black spandex shorts, and then I put on some running shoes and tie them.
I run downstairs to see prim eating cereal and mother drinking some tea.
"Good morning, kitty." Prim smirks. I scowl playfully and steal a big bite of her cheerios.
"Hey!"She yells, laughing. "Get your own cheerios." I stick my tongue out at her.
"Morning, mom. I was thinking about running on the beach for an hour or something. I'll see you later okay?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll see you in awhile. –oh, I almost forgot. Peeta came over awhile ago asking if he could take you out sightseeing today. He told me to tell you to meet him out front at 11:30."
"Alright, thanks." I kiss prim on the forehead, grab my iPod and run out the door. "Bye!"
….
I have always loved the outdoors. The air is so fresh and everything is so calm. The colors are so extravagant and the natural noises are soothing. So living in front of the beach has got to be the best thing in the entire world.
My dad use to sneak me out into the woods because mother hated when we went. He would always take me to this lake he found when he got lost one day. I sigh out loud. I really miss him. I wish I could tell him that I'm sorry.
I shake my head and continue running. I change my music to Home by Daughter and start singing. I may be singing really loud but I can't tell with the music being so loud.
"I was drunk again, causing accidents. Oh, you're not a friend, you're nothing. I think I should be a little more confident. In myself, in my skin…" I keep singing for a while, enjoying the music and scenery. That is until peeta decides to place a hand over my shoulder and scare the shit out of me. next thing I know I am on the floor again.
"Okay, I'm taking this whole 'sweeping you off your feet' thing to a whole new level. I'm so sorry, are you okay?" his words are tight and his voice cracks because he's trying to contain his laughter. But he gives out and laughter bubbles out of him. Wait. Did he say he was trying to sweet me off my feet?
He sits down beside me and looks at me. All of me. Its then that I realize I'm only only in a sports bra and tight little shorts. His face goes red and he looks away towards the ocean.
"Good morning, peeta." my face heats up.
"Good morning katniss."
"So. What brings you to the beach?" I ask. Curious as to why he's on the beach in very non-beachy clothing. That's when I think about the time.
"Oh god am I late?" he only smiles shyly. Oh no, now I feel bad. How had time slipped by so fast?
"Its fine, don't worry, Kat. I was wondering if we could go to book store slash cafe first. I bet you're hot. We can cool off there" I nod; a little surprised he gave me a nickname. I like it, though. Kat.
"Alright, well let's go now." I hop up and stick my hand out to help him up. He blushes and looks down.
"Umm…Kat , shouldn't you change first?" he chuckles. I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. Smart ass. Let's go to my house first then."
….
"Do you want to wait down here or come with me upstairs?" the house is quiet so im guessing mom and prim went somewhere.
"upstairs-… only if it's okay with you, of course…" he rubs the back of his neck and flicks his eyes to me.
I laugh shortly. "Yes its fine, come on." I grab his arm and pull him up the stairs. "so what's the plan for today?" I say as I try to open the attic door. "Well" he says, pushing me aside softly. He opens the door and pulls down the ladder. "I was thinking- after you" he gestures for me to go first. "-that maybe we could go get a book or something first, then I wanted to take you to the ice cream parlor to get you your ice cream." I'm listening while I grab some clothes and walk over to my tan dressing screen and start putting on my clothes. I put on an over-sized, grey and white ombre muscle shirt that ends mid-thigh with the sides cut down to my hip then some black tights under fishnets. I walk out from behind my dressing screen and he sits on my mattress just gaping at me with a red face.
I smirk. "Is that all we are doing?" he just shakes his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts.
"No, after ice cream we will go to one of my favorite secret spots then I was thinking somewhere around 8:30 we could meet up with my friends so we can do something fun. I don't think you have ever done this because there aren't places like this anymore. It's basically the last one. So get excited." He smiles.
"Now, let's go slow poke. We have a schedule to follow and you are making us late." He sticks his tongue out at me.
"Immature bastard." I murmur and chuckle. "Okay, on sec." I walk over to my black combat boots and slip them on my feet. "Let's go."
We climb down the ladder and run down the stairs. "One second, I've got to grab something." I run over to the couch and grab my makeup bag. "Okay." I follow him out the door and lock up. When we walk up to his car, I stop in my tracks. Are you fucking kidding me? He has a fucking burgundy 1967 convertible mustang. My dream car. When I look at him awestruck; I see he has a look of worry or fear or both, though I'm not sure why…
"I'm so jealous. This is my fucking dream car. How-… wow." I run my hand along the hood of the car. The entire interior of the car is a light tan color. It's gorgeous.
"Well, jump in then." I open the passenger seat door and sit in the authentic leather seats. I look at him and shake my head. This guy is ridiculous.
He starts the engine and we drive. "How long is the ride going to be?" I ask. "Only about 15 minutes, why?" I pull down the sun shade and open the mirror. I open my makeup bag and start putting on a thin line of eye liner and wing it slightly at the ends. Then I put on several coats of mascara. "So I could do that" he laughs and shakes his head; disbelieving. Then he says something along the lines of 'so glad I'm a dude' under his breath. I open his glove compartment to put my make up in but am surprised when a bunch of papers fall out. "Oh…" I say, surprised. "Oh my god, I'm sorry." I lean over to pick them up and when I gather them up peeta pulls them out of my hands fast. But not before I see the papers for a quick second. I swear they looked like-
"No, no. It's fine kat. Don't worry." He shoves the papers under his seat. Humph. He looks at my confused expression and sucks air so fast he starts choking. "Don't die on me, okay?" I start laughing.
"Thanks for the advice, sweetheart." He says sarcastically and I roll my eyes jokingly.
The next 10 minutes of the ride are peaceful with Bombay bicycle club playing in the background softly. I start singing along to the parts I'm more familiar with.
"You have a really beautiful voice." I blush and look at my hands in my lap. "Thank you."
"No, I'm serious, Kat. You have a really unique voice." I laugh out of nerves and look out the window. I see the trees passing by then I see a car. Then everything stops. I'm walking towards the car. Tears spring to my eyes from both the gas coming from the car and the sight inside the car. Blood everywhere. A limp body covered in blood. I raise my hand about to pull the the face back when I hear someone calling my name. "katniss"
"Katniss!" I jump. And then relax. It was just in my head. I look over to peeta. he looks scared.
"katniss, I know you said you'd talk to me about it another day but-… I was scared. You were just sitting there…paralyzed-"
"I'm a freak, I know." I prop my chin in my hand and look out the window again. I knew he'd think I was weird.
"No. you are not. I don't think you are… Please." He looks at me intently then faces the road again.
"At the coffee shop slash book store-"I smile softly, describing the place the only way I know how. "-I'll tell you what just happened." Still looking at the road; he nods.
When we finally arrive, he hops out of the car and runs over to my side so he can open my door. I laugh and do a curtsey. "Why thank you." He shakes his head and leads me to this big brick wall with a small door. Now, any other average person would probably dismiss this wall with a door but people like peeta and I… we would never miss the chance to see for ourselves.
When I walk in I'm so awestruck that I stop in my tracks. The place is fucking beautiful. It really is just a 'café slash book store'. Its small but can still fill the room with a bunch of people without it feeling suffocating. There are several book shelves in the back of the room but the cool part is that the walls all around the room are filled with books as well. There are random tables and chair that a mix matched and even some couches. There is this little stage near the back of the room. In the front, there is a couple of people behind a counter making drinks for people and checking out books for people.
It's warm and inviting.
"Hey, peeta!" a cute girl calls from behind the counter. I see him running over to give her a hug and I feel something growing inside of me.
Jealousy.
"Kat, this is Madgy padgy-" he's interrupted by 'madgy padgy'. "Don't listen to him." She sticks out her hand and I shake it. "Hello, my names Madge. I'm one of peeta's friends. And you are?" she gives me a warm smile. "I'm katniss. I just moved here yesterday and peeta's my neighbor,"
"ahhh… well, welcome to north Carolina katniss." I smile at her.
"Hey katniss…do you...do you wanna go sing something with me up there?" he asks nervously. I wring my hands and bite my lip.
"I don't know peeta. I don't sing in front of people… I-…" "Come on Kat, you'll be with me. You sang in the car. That must mean you're comfortable with me so just look at me.
"I didn't even know you could sing peeta" Madge says behind us. I laugh. "Fine…I'll go. But on one condition, you have to get me a triple scoop of chocolate chip mint ice cream. Deal?" I smirk and stick out my hand. He spits in his hand and before I can protest, takes my hand in his and shakes it.
"eww."
….
"I can't believe you're really making me do this."
"I'm not making you do anything. We made a deal. And besides, you know the song and you have a unique voice… can't get much better than that. Just play the uke like you said you would and ill play the guitar, okay?" he seemed slightly nervous, but not for me it's for himself. "Are you getting nervous, bread boy?"I say, referring to his bakery days. I look at madge and see her nervous look casted towards peeta.
"No it's not that…let's just go a see what happens." Im confused
"What do you mean see what happens? What might happen peeta?" I ask completely lost.
"Its okay peeta, I'm sure they won't know." Madge whispers in a comforting voice.
"Know what!?" I almost yell. What the hell is going on?
"Wait, you haven't told her?" she whispers so I can't hear. But I do. She looks mad. And I probably look confused.
"No, Madge. Another time." He looks at her pleadingly. She sighs. . .confused.
"Okay katniss, let's go." I let it go for now but I will ask soon. We walk up on the stage type thing and grab the instruments we need from this stand where they allow you to borrow instruments. I walk up on the stage and just stand there in front of the microphone. I look to peeta, completely freaked out.
He whispers to me. "one, two, three…" and we start playing our version of breezeblocks, which is much slower than the original.
She may contain the urge to run away
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks
Citrezene your fever's gripped me again
Never kisses all you ever send are full stops, la la la la
When he starts singing my breath catches in my throat. Holy shit his voice is sexy.
Do you know where the wilds things go
They go along to take your honey,la la la la
Break down now weep build up breakfast now
Let's eat my love my love love love, la la la la
Muscle to muscle and toe to toe
The fear has gripped me but here I go
My heart sinks as I jump up
Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut
Ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah, ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah
Do you know where the wild things go
They go along to take your honey, la la la la
Break down let's sleep build up breakfast now
Let's eat my love my love love love, la la la la
She bruises coughs she splutters pistol shots
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks
She's morphine queen of my vaccine my love my love love love, la la la la
Muscle to muscle and toe to toe
The fear has gripped me but here I go
My heart sinks as I jump up
Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut
And ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah, ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah
Ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah, ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah
She may contain the urge to runaway
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks
Germaline disinfect the scene my love my love love love
But please don't go I love you so my lovely
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so
Please break my heart, hey
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so
Please break my heart, ah ha
Please don't go, I'll eat you whole
I love you so, I love you, so I love you so
Please don't go I'll eat you whole
I love you so, I love you so, I love you so, I love you so
When we stop playing everyone claps and I almost cry out of relief that it's done. When I look to peeta; he looks nervous. But once he walks off the stage his frown goes away.
"Holy shit…you two are… pretty amazing." Her eyes are wide with amazement. I shrink back and look down. Madge senses my great discomfort with complements so she stops and for that I'm grateful.
"Come on, katniss. Let's go look for books. And then maybe we can discuss what happened in the car over a quick cup of tea." He looks hopeful. I don't know why he wants to know so badly. I just have issues, and it's obvious.
"okay." I reply shortly. I'm not mad or anything. Maybe slightly annoyed he wants to know so badly.
I walk over to the book shelves and he follows. Its only takes us around 15 minutes to find a book we both like and we check it out along with getting some green tea. Once he pays for everything, which I yelled at him for after arguing that I would pay for my own things, we bid Madge goodbye. She has this weird smile on her face as she watches mine and peeta's interactions which I find slightly odd.
"So…" he says. I smile tightly. "So…" I say.
"The car…" my smile loosens and turns genuine. "The car…"
He laughs. "katniss, I'm being serious." I nod and look down.
"Back there in the car was one of my 'hallucinations' if you will. After my father died he took a piece of mom with him. The first year he died; she was in a constant state of depression. She would just sleep and cry in her room. She never spoke or ate. We basically had to force feed her. We didn't tell anyone because we couldn't, unless we wanted to be sent to an orphanage. I could never do that to prim. I love her way to much too just…leave. Her father and mother already did and I could… I could never…I wished I could but…" I will the tears to never fall but it's useless. A tear runs down my cheek and peeta leans over the table to rub it away.
"Anyways. We used the money she made from her previous job as a surgeon to pay for food and the bills. We got along fine but I still had a world on my shoulders. I was so scared and stressed all the time. The worst part for me was that while mom was grieving, we had to survive. We didn't have time to grieve. We had to suck it up and just keep going. I would cry at night because that was the only time I allowed myself to cry. Then when mom came back to the real world she started working again. And she worked and worked and worked. She was avoiding us. But then one day prim was done being positive and hopeful and started sobbing in front of mom say how much she missed her and daddy and how she couldn't take it anymore. She told mom that she was killing me. I hadn't realized how bad I was being affected over the year. Until it was year two of dad being gone. I finally had time to grieve and relax. But once I started to grieve everything came back to me and I had nothing to avoid it and bury it down. All the terrible things I had said to him before he left that house…before he died… We were arguing about about something so mundane… I had said things I didn't mean… after I had time to think about everything I became my mother. I couldn't get out of bed and I was always crying. It lasted for weeks at a time. Then I started getting hallucinations about the accident and I would hear these voices telling me it was my fault. I would hurt myself and drink when I could. My grades went downhill and they didn't know what to do. I was lucky I even passed the grade. It was then that my mother realized that everything that happened was infact killing me. She got me on some medication and…yeah." I breathe in deep and exhale. I can't believe I just said all of that, I only met him yesterday. But it was like once I started I couldn't stop.
"Let's go get some ice cream." He jumps up from his chair and grabs my hand and pulls me outside.
…..
"That was probably the most amazing ice cream I have ever had." I do this giddy jump that I regret shortly after. He laughs at me.
"So. You having fun so far?" I nod enthusiastically. "You are single-handedly the best tour guide ever" I say.
"Well it's about to get better. Jump in the car and put this on." He hands me a blindfold and I give him a curious look."
"so I'm guessing this is the part where you blind fold me and charm me into going with you to some secluded area where you'll reveal your true form , which is a professional serial killer slash psychopathic murderer." I say in a suggestive tone as I put the blindfold on. He chuckles.
"Yes… and no." I smile.
It's a thirty minute drive, filled with soft acoustic music playing, to his secret spot. Once we arrive; he tells me to keep the blindfold on. He holds my hand and guides me to his spot. While I should be worrying about where he is taking me, all I can think about are his strong, warm hands holding mine and how much I enjoy his touch.
"annndd weee arreee here." As he finishes his sentence, he pulls the blind fold off. I'm speechless once I see my surroundings. He's taken me to small lake with a water fall in the middle of a forest. And it's the perfect time of day too because the sun is setting and the sky is turning different colors.
Peeta interrupts my thoughts. "See the sky? See that light orange melting and blending with pink. That's my favorite color. Right there, that soft orange." I look up, memorized by the colors.
"My favorite color is forest green." I say softly. I feel that if I spoke any louder the skies' color and the lake and the forest will run and hide. I want to enjoy this.
He walks us to the side of the waterfall; water droplets littering my hair and sticking to my skin. He says to follow him. I don't know what I was expecting but I sure as hell wasn't expecting him to jump through the thin waterfall. That's some Pocahontas shit he just pulled. While he just jumped through the waterfall; I find a small entering where I could meet with peeta but also get a little less wet. When I walk through the entering I am greeted by a beautiful cave and peeta leaning against the wall watching the waterfall. I walk over to him and sit beside him, enjoying the way the water blends the trees and the skies' colors together.
"I want to tell you about my mother… you told me something deep so I will too." He says quietly. As if not to disturb .
"My father and mother never loved each other but their parents forced them to be together. I don't remember the whole story but I know that there was a contract their parents had made saying that my parents would have to get married. They were together for so long that they began to think they did love eachother. But it was all just a lie. A lie they forced into their head to make their hell a little less…terrible. My father was loyal to my mother. Was kind and got her presents. And at first, when she believed they did love eachother, she was loyal and kind as well. But after 2 kid, she realized she didn't love him. But they already had a strong bind and she couldn't pull herself free. She was stuck with a husband she didn't love a two kids who only reminded her of her pressured life. Then they had me and she snapped. She turned into this monster. She would hit me and my brothers when father wasn't there and take out her anger and pain and frustration on us. We always had bruises and cuts under our clothes. She would always tell us we were mistakes and that we were useless and that she hated us. That we ruined her life. This went for the six years that I lived in Britain and father never had a clue. He was oblivious to the world of pain she brought us. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Then one day something made her snap even more so she beat me within an inch of my life. That's how dad had to find out. He found me lying limp on the floor of the bakery; blood surrounding me. They took me to the hospital and I survived-"I was basically sobbing at that point but cracked a joke. "Oh, good to know I'm not that crazy and that I'm not talking to a ghost." He laughed then finishes his story. "My father divorced her then we moved to california. I did some things there then we moved here." I notice how he is always so vague about starting to get nervous as to why…
"Well, it seems we both have really fucked up pasts." We smile at eachother for a second. I take in his lush blond locks, his full sculptured lips, his bold blue eyes, the freckles that dust his nose, the way the left side of his lips raise higher than the right when he smiles. How could this beautiful boy be hated by his own mother?
Without warning he moves in and gives me a big nice hug. I run my fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him through actions. He runs his hand up and down my back and I sink into his touch. We hug for awhile and let go too soon. He tells me we should probably start heading to our next stop.
…
Okay. We are her but I would like to warn you about my friends. They are a bit…ridiculous." His laugh comes out more like a giggle and I smile. That was fucking adorable. "Eh, it's okay. I'm actually really excited to meet your friends." When I look at our destination; all I see are a bunch of people in an open field with a couple of grandfather trees with moss hanging down from them.
He comes around and opens my door. Then he goes to his trunk and takes out a big blanket.
"It might get cold" is all he says. Then he grabs my hand and pulls me through the crowd of people and to his group of friends. That's when I spot Madge. "Hi, katniss!" Madge yells. Then she runs over to peeta and I and gives us hugs. I wasn't expecting her to give me a hug but I reciprocated because I honestly wasn't bothered by it at all. Everyone that was in the bundle friends follows suit giving peeta and I hugs even though I didn't even know them. I was so overwhelmed with kindness. Within peeta's group of friends; I met gale, who is dating Madge. He met peeta back in california and moved with his family over her in north Carolina so he could be with his best friend. It's amazing how he just packed up his family and left just to be with his best friend. Then I met Annie who also works at that café slash book store. That's were peeta met her. Then I met Finn who peeta met through Annie, Finn and Annie are dating. Finn is one sarcastic, cocky bastard but I quickly realize he is also kind and caring as he pulls peeta aside to talk to him and gives him a big hug. Then I meet thresh who is a 6' foot tall ball of kindness. He seems to be soft spoken. Then there's jo… now she is a character. She's basically this bad ass fire ball who has a bitchy exterior but peeta assures me once I get to know her, shes a real softy.
After I'm done greeting everyone we all sit down just in time for whatever it is we are doing. Its pitch black outside and if it weren't for the fake candles they through around out area, we wouldn't have been able to see anything. Peeta pulls me so close I might as well be in his lap, but I don't think he realizes.
And I honestly don't mind.
"What do you think of my friends?" he asks nervously.
"They are all amazing and I think I love them" I say truthfully.
"Shhh, katniss the its starting." He says jokingly and I scoff. "asshole." I mutter under my breath.
"HEY! I heard that." We giggle softly after a couple of people behind us shush us. Its then that I see a white screen being rolled down from the trees. Oh its one of those outdoor movie things.
"thank you for bringing me peeta…thank for everything, for today." I smile at him gratefully.
"thank you katniss, for coming with me to these places and trusting me. I really enjoyed my day with you." He gives me a big strong bear hug. When we let go he kisses my hair caringly and wraps us up in the blanket and we enjoy the rest of our night.
Though I may not have known peeta for very long, I know that I want to be there for him when times are bad and when he's at his happiest. I know I want to have some kind of relationship with this boy whether its friendship or more. It may just be the sleepiness talking but right now, in this moment, I know what I want and that's peeta in whatever way he'll let me have him.