Alright. I finally have something to put in my authors note.
Thank you for the people who reviewed… Keep reviewing and more chapters will come out
… . .
Yeah that's it…
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Meanwhile with Neji and Tenten…
"You did what?" Neji's eye twitched a little as Tenten laughed nervously in front of him.
Tenten, Neji, Hinata and Sakura were currently in the bar's female toilets, Neji had come into the bar to drink away all his troubles (Hiashi's bad jokes) when ironically it had been the same bar that the others were in, thus he had witnessed Tenten and Sakura dragging (literally) Hinata off the stage by her arms as she left a trail of drool behind her.
In the background Hinata continued vomiting in the toilet as Sakura held her hair back.
"You don't understand… it NEEDED to be done!" Tenten answered "unlike you and me. Naruto and Hinata need a little push"
"I think there was plenty of pushing on your part" Sakura muttered.
Neji sighed "so where's Naruto?"
"Uh…. I don't know" Tenten coughed "but… If he didn't get the message with that song. Then he's dumber than a Turtle in winter!"
Neji furrowed his eyebrows "a turtle in winter?"
Tenten was just about to answered when the door slowly opened, and standing in the door way was none other than Sasuke Uchiha, he stood there with a smirk plastered on his smug face.
"What the hell are you so happy about?" Neji glared at the Uchiha.
"Not only did I witness Hinata Hyuga sing a sexual song drunk. But I also witnessed Naruto Uzumaki not only speechless, but afterword's you vomited on him… He ran off like a girl… Literally" Sasuke's face suddenly became serious "he runs like a fairy. You should see it. It's funny shit"
"HE RAN OFF?" Hinata wailed "I WAS SAVING HALF MY VIRGINITY FOR HIM!"
"Relax I'm sure he—wait, HALF your virginity?" Sasuke looked at the hyuga girl in surprise.
Everyone looked at Hinata who was looked back at them awkwardly "I'M DRUNK! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING! NOW SHUT UP AND TAKE OF YOUR PANTS! I WANT TO SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS!" Hinata pointed at Sasuke's crotch causing him to blink.
Sakura glared at the girl "just shut up and go back to vomiting!" Sakura then forced Hinata's head into the toilet.
"So where did Naruto go?" Neji asked the Uchiha.
Sasuke shrugged "I don't know… I just came here to watch you guys and snicker"
"I thought you'd laugh?" Tenten raised an eyebrow.
Sasuke glared "Hey. I have an image to keep up honey. One smile and it all goes down the drain"
"But you were willing to smile before with the whole Sakura giving Kiba a piggyback" Neji pointed out.
"Yeah… But that involved someone getting hurt" Sasuke shrugged "Unless some ones bleeding or crying… Hn"
The door suddenly slammed open and a flash of yellow was seen, next thing everyone knew Naruto was standing proudly in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips grinning.
"I'VE COME TO A DECISION!" Naruto yelled.
Everyone turned to Naruto including Hinata who's head was now half covered in toilet water.
"Hinata" Naruto grinned at her "you must bear my sons!"
Hinata looked at Naruto with widened eyes, and was about to say something but ended up gurgling out some more toilet water and spitting all over Sakura's face. Tenten gasped and smiled happily while taking out her ninja phone (yeah. In my fanfic. They have those) and taking a picture of the beautiful moment. The photo was great, she thought… Hinata kneeling at the toilet with some vomit on her lip, Sakura still holding onto Hinata's hair with spit and toilet water all over her face, Naruto looked at Hinata proudly with a big vomit stain on his crotch, Neji leaning on the wall for support trying to process what just happened, and Sasuke- …. Sasuke was smirking at the photo; winking and his hair looked as if some wind was passing through it.
"What the- How did you do that? I swear you were picking your nose when it was taken!" Tenten accused the Uchiha.
Sasuke shrugged "No matter what pose I'm in at the time, I always end up looking the same in the photo… I'm like the Barney Stinson of Naruto"
Tenten glared at Sasuke "we'll settle this in the next chapter"
"what did you just say?" Neji glared at the blonde as if he was a spawn from hell.
"I want Hinata to bear my sons!" Naruto yelled proudly "… Uh.. that is unless you want daughters" Naruto looked at Hinata "it's okay, we can dress them up as boys until they hit puberty, then we can just wipe away their memory, move to another village and when looking back at the photos we can just say it was their long lost dead twin brother!" Naruto thumbed the girl up.
"N-Naruto kun… That's so beautiful" Hinata's eyes welled up with tears and she quickly snapped her head in another direction "I-I didn't know… You were so romantic!"
Sakura squinted her eyes and widened her mouth at Naruto's stupidity, Tenten stopped taking photos and Neji was speechless.
Naruto laughed "Well… You know, people do say I'm practically a poet!"
Hinata shook her head slow motion giving Sakura's hand whiplash, she stood up in slow motion and ran to Naruto with widened arms as Naruto widened his arms and grinned running to her equally slow. This sequence followed for a few minutes as everyone in the background raised a brow or reacted some way or another in normal time.
As Naruto and Hinata hugged, Hinata suddenly yelled out "Naruto! DON'T EVER LOVE ANOTHER GIRL!"
"Of course I will!" Naruto yelled in return.
Hinata gasped "and she'll be a child and will call me mummy?"
Naruto laughed "ahaha! No! You have to die eventually!"
"What?" Hinata paused.
"Shhhhhh! We're in a moment" Naruto whispered hugging Hinata tighter.
Meanwhile in a field somewhere…
"This is stupid!" Shikamaru uttered through gritted teeth.
"JUST SHUT UP AND BE AN OWL!" Temari yelled.
"Why do I have to be the OWL?" Shikamaru exclaimed in anger.
Shikamaru stood in the field wearing an owl costume, it was hot, itchy and smelled. He could hardly mouth his feet and every time he moved his arms he felt something move inside the costume which kind of freaked him out.
"I'm wearing an owl costume too!" Temari retorted.
"YOU'RE WEARING A PAPER STICKY TAPED TO YOUR SHIRT WITH 'OWL' WRITTEN ON IT!" Shikamaru yelled.
Temari rolled her eyes "just shut up and hoot"
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, sighed and gave up.
"Hoot" Shikamaru uttered in the most mono tone voice ever mustered.
"!" Temari yelled causing Shikamaru to glare at her.
"That's not now you hoot!" Shikamaru said.
Temari rolled her eyes "shut the hell up and let me hoot my own way"
Shikamaru glared at the blonde but went back to hooting.
"Hoot"
"!"
"Hoot"
"!"
"Hoot..."
"" Temari gasped "!"
"… Hoot…?" Shikamaru raised a brow at Temari.
"Camel"
"What was that?" Temari asked looking at Shikamaru.
"Camel"
"There it is again!" Temari exclaimed.
"Keep hooting!" Shikamaru ordered.
"!"
"Hoot"
"CAMEL"
"I think it was the camel!" Temari exclaimed.
"Either that or some other strange creature that makes the noise 'camel' …" Shikamaru stated sarcastically.
"Which could it be?" Temari asked herself deep in thought as Shikamaru face palmed.
"CAPTAIN FLUFFYBOTOX?" Shikamaru yelled "IS THAT YOU?"
"… Camel…?"
Suddenly a camel came out from the trees and looked at Shikamaru and Temari, it was indeed Captain Fluffybotox… But he wasn't the same, this time he had tribal markings on his face and a nose piercing… He even had a had made out of leaves and looked much more… dare I say? Manlier… or in this case… Camel…ie…r…? Shikamaru and Temari looked at each other strangely.
"Captain Fluffybotox?" Temari uttered "is… that you…?"
Suddenly more camels came from behind him all wearing some sort of tribal markings and piercings behind Captain Fluffybotox.
Temari put a hand to her mouth in surprise and tried to take a step towards him but was quickly stopped by Shikamaru who held her back with his "wings"
"He's one of them now… There's nothing we can do" Shikamaru stated "I doubt he remembers us"
Tears welled up in Temari's eyes "no… He knows… Some where in his heart… he KNOWS"
Temari walked up to captain Fluffybotox and stared him straight in the eyes.
From the Camels POV.
"What the hell is this chick doing?" One of the back camels asked.
"Shut up George!" Another camel silenced him "she looks pretty hot for a human"
"Did she just call you 'Captain Fluffybotox?" A random camel asked Captain fluffybotox.
"Captain Fluffybotox is dead… I was born again… I am now… Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Jack Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus … Senior" Captain Fluffybotox replied "and I WILL LEAD OUR TRIBE TO THE WATER HOLE!"
"Why can't we just go to the drink taps they have at the zoo? They're closer and easier"
"FOR GODS SAKE GOERGE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Captain fluffybotox snorted "one more move and I swear to god I'm kicking you out so fast you won't have time to spit!"
George looked down in shame… Why is it everything he did went wrong?
"Captain Fluffybotox… Kankuro needs you" Temari uttered slowly.
"Who the hell is Kankuro?"
"FOR FUCKS SAKE GEORGE SHUT THE HELL UP! NO ONE LIKES YOU!" Captain fluffybotox snorted again.
"I… It was me… Frank" Frank answered quietly.
"Oh" Captain Fluffybotox blinked "… He's just some human idiot used to hang around me all day… He was totally my bitch"
"I remember all those times you would follow Kankuro around" Temari started.
The other camels looked at Captain Fluffybotox "Uh… H-He paid me yeh know…"
"And all those times you would hug him!" Temari continued
"Uh… I WAS TRYING TO MUG HIM AND THEY TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY!"
"Those karaoke nights you two used to go on…" Temari sighed
"THERE WAS FREE FOOD!"
"I remember you used to do a duet of no air by jordi-"
Temari was interrupted as Captain Fluffybotox spit on her face.
BACK TO NORMAL…
Temari gasped wiping the spit off her face "HE JUST SPIT ON MY FACE!"
Shikamaru raised a brow pulled Temari back as she was about to strangle captain fluffybotox.
"What are we going to do? Captain Fluffybotox obviously isn't going to leave…" Shikamaru said as the camels ran off into the wild sunset where there was no law of man… simply the wild call of Mother Nature… Haha jokes, they'd probably get killed and turned into ninja food.
Half an hour later…
Temari chugged down another bottle of sake "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? WHAT AM I GONNA DO? HOW CAN I GO BACK TO KANKURO WITHOUT THAT FUCKING CAMEL?"
Shikamaru sat next to her equally drunk "don't go back… He'll only harass you. Besides, that camel's FREE now!"
Temari leaned on Shikamaru's shoulder "but I can't go back… He'll never talk to me again"
"Don't go back you shithead! THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID!" Shikamaru exclaimed.
"But… I need a REASON to stay!" Temari wailed waving her arms in the air.
"Just say you need to help Tenten with the baby thing, and until its born you can't leave! By the time you get back he'll have forgotten about Captain Fluffybotox" Shikamaru explained.
"Tentens pregnant?"
"Wow" Shikamaru sighed "you're really socially retarded…"
"THAT'S A GREAT PLAN!" Temari yelled happily "Thank you!" Temari kissed Shikamaru on the lips causing him to freeze "even when you're drunk you're a genius… And now I need to vomit"
Back to Neji and Tenten…
"So what are you going to do about Naruto knocking Hinata up?" Tenten asked Neji as they sat next to each other in the bar Hinata had previously vomited on Naruto in.
"It hasn't happened yet!" Neji narrowed his eyes "there's still hope… I'll tell Hiashi"
Tenten snickered "so he can make another HALLLLLLAARIIIUSS joke about it?"
Neji grunted.
"Hey Neji!" Tenten mimicked Hiashi lowering her voice "What did the cat say to the jewellery maker?"
Neji rolled his eyes "Please Hiashi. Do tell"
"PUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR-fect" Tenten snickered as Neji scoffed.
Suddenly Sasuke pulled up a chair next to Neji.
"Hyuga"
"Uchiha"
"Why are you here?" Tenten moved her head forward to get a better look at Sasuke.
"Well… Since you're pregnant, I thought- I have no life. Nothing to do. No Naruto to mock" Sasuke shrugged "bartender gimme some sake!"
"There you are! TENTEN!" Sakura's voice chimed in as she took a seat next to Tenten "can I be your baby's godmamy?"
Tenten looked at the pinkette "I don't know… Maybe… Hinata really wants to be the godmom"
"TENTEN!" A loud female voice called sounding drunk from the door "YOU ARE WITH CHILD! LET ME LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT GIRL LOVES CAKE!"
"Don't yell woman!" Another voice chimed in
"THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID WHEN YOU WERE MAKING SWEET LOVE TO ME LAST NIGHT!" Temari retorted causing every guy to turn to the pair, look Temari up and down and all either thumbs up, smirk, or give an approving look to Shikamaru.
Shikamaru just dragged the drunk woman towards Tenten and Neji.
"Sorry she's drunk… We were looking for the camel, things went wrong…" Shikamaru sighed.
"Camel?" Neji coughed "What camel?"
"KANKURO LOST HIS CAMEL!" Temari yelled "HE'S BEEN WAILING AND SCREAMING EVER SINCE!"
"Who could've done that?" Neji muttered as Tenten rolled her eyes.
Shikamaru took a seat next to Neji as Temari gripped onto Shikamaru's arm taking the seat next to him.
"SHINO! I FEEL SO HEALTHY! SO VIBRANT! IF ANYTHING THAT BEATING HEL- OOOOOOH! SHIKAMARU! TEMARI! SASUKE! SAKURA! TENTE- …. Oh… Tenten… Neji…" Kiba's expression changed from excited to tired as soon as he saw the too causing Shino to raise an eyebrow at the dog lover.
"Greetings" Shino stated as he pulled Kiba over and sat next to Sakura.
"I MISS THAT FUCKING CAMEL! KANKURO WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED HIM!" Temari wailed sobbing into Shikamaru's shoulder.
Kiba's eyes widened "C-Camel…?"
"OHMYFUCKINGGOD!" A girly voice screeched causing everyone to block their ears "TENTEN!" Ino ran to the pregnant girl hugging her tightly "ICANTBELIEVEYOU'REACTUALLYPREGNANTI'!"
"Ino… Maybe we should sit down" Chouji pulled Ino off Tenten and into a chair next to Shino.
"So we're all here…" Sakura stated.
"No!" Tenten exclaimed "There's still Naruto. Hinata and Lee!"
Suddenly the lights went out and everything went silent.
"Oh god no!" Tenten complained "I know where this is going"
Suddenly the spot light came on, and Naruto and Hinata were on stage holding hands, they both raised their held hands, Hinata blushed and Naruto grinned holding the mike up to his mouth.
"THIS IS TO DEDICATE TO OUR LOVE!" he yelled "SHE SHALL BEAR MY SONS!"
Hinata put her mike up to her mouth "or girls that w-we'll dress as guys u-until they h-hit p-puberty"
"HIT IT LEE!" Naruto pointed to a spot on the stage where a piano was suddenly pushed.
The piano was dark green and sitting on the edge was Lee, happy and youthful as ever wearing a light green suit and matching hat. Before playing the song he suddenly yelled out "YOSH!" and started playing 'I got you babe' by Sonny and Cher.
"They say we're young and we don't know!" Hinata sang "we won't find out until we grow!"
The audience awed at Hinata's innocent sweet voice singing softly.
"WELL I DON'T KNOW IF ALL THAT'S TRUE!"
"sonofa-!" Kiba blocked his ears wincing "I JUST recovered!"
Everyone else either winced, flinched or cried.
"CAUSE YOU GOT ME! AND BABY I GOT YOU! BABE!"
"I got you! I got you babe!" Hinata blushed at Naruto who just grinned thumbing her up.
Tenten sighed next to Neji as Naruto and Hinata continued singing badly.
"This is going to be one hell of a nine months" Neji stated.
"I only feel sorry for the child having to come into the world with that" Tenten motioned to the stage.
Naruto was grabbing Hinata by the waist and attempting to throw her in the air as a declaration of love while singing "I GOT FLOWERS IN THE SPRING! I GOT YOU TO WEAR MY RING!"
Tenten face palmed as Neji sighed.
"On the bright side you can crack at it Hiashi's repulsively bad jokes and blame it on the hormones" Neji commented.
"That's good" Tenten sighed.
"Wanna leave?" Neji asked.
"Please yes" Tenten answered as they both quickly ran for the door.
"WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?" Naruto yelled while the song was having an instrumental moment.
The spotlight quickly changed to Neji and Tenten at the door, Neji was half way opening the door and Tenten was half way leaving it. Everyone stared at them as if saying 'if we have to hear this torture. So do YOU!'
"We're… Going… to…" Tenten started.
"HIPPIE MUSIC IS BAD FOR THE BABY!" Neji yelled and shoved Tenten out the door.
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