Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except Arata. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 12

Coming home and seeing my mother in this sort of state was a shock. Her usual smiling and bright face was replaced with a red, blotchy one. Mom was the never the type to cry, but if she was, it was never in front of me or Youichi. She looked so shaken, "Mikan..." it made my spine chill. She sniffed then wiped her swollen eyes with a drenched tissue. Arata looked at her then at me with pleading eyes.

I turned around, sighing "Are you happy?"

I heard her sniff again, "What?"

I turned to face her, "Are you happy?" I looked at her without hostility as I waited for her answer. My mother stood up and crossed the living room to me, I was surprised at how fast she did it.

"Oh Honey..." she started. "I am very happy. You and Youichi are healthy and growing up to be beautiful children, another baby is on the way, and I'm finally with Arata. How can I not be happy?" She reached out to touch my face but my head instinctively jerked back.

"Finally?" my voice croaked. "What does that mean? You didn't love Dad?"

She gasped, "Oh no, no, no Mikan, I didn't mean that. I loved your Father very so." My heart had a twinge of pain.

"Then why did you have an affair with him? I was only one!" my voice sounding shrill to my ears. "Did that make you happy? Lying to us, leaving us to fend for ourselves when you took your bullshit 'adventures' with different men? Did it?"

Mother's eyes were welling up again, Arata too stunned to do or say anything. "You're so selfish."

There was a stinging feeling on my cheek when Arata finally crossed the living room to restrain mom. "Yuka, that was too harsh." He mumbled, the first time he ever said anything.

A laugh escaped my lips, harsh? That was harsh? "Is that what you meant?" I looked back at mom, her face red and eyebrows furrowed. I shook my head, "Tch, don't let me ruin such a happy life you have." Mom's face contorted and she collapsed into Arata's arms when I ran up the stairs. Tears of frustration threatening to fall.

I plopped down on my bed. I've seen this a million times in dramas. The Big Slap and then the heroine runs away but even if I did that, I'd have no where to go so I just locked my door, put my headphones on and tried to sleep.

;p

I wake up, cold sweat on my forehead. I look at the clock, it reads 5:26 am. I groan, I am up way too early to do anything. I laid back down and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. I hated not being able to fall back asleep after waking up so instead I stood up, pulled over a sweater and slipped on moccasins. I grabbed my keys and headed down the dimly lit stairs. I was yawning when I heard "Mikan."

I jumped, my heart sinking, "Holy shit." I looked around and saw Arata's head peeking over the couch. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

"No, its part of my daily routine to swear in the morning." I rolled my eyes. As I walked down the stairs, I noticed he had a blanket on his lap. "Were you sleeping here?"

He looked down as if he forgot it was there, he looked back at me "Ah, I just couldn't sleep." He rubbed the back of his head and yawned.

"Oh okay. Bye." I headed straight for the front door but he called out to me again.

"About your mother and I..."

"No." I said through gritted teeth. "I'm not in the mood to talk about that." I pulled the door opened and stepped outside. The sky was still grey and the air crisp. Some of the neighbors' sprinklers were on, and a few joggers passed by. I walked to my frosted car, and when I got in, I turned on the engine to warm it up. It was still freezing cold in the car by the time the engine was all warmed up. I backed out of the driveway and headed to who knows where. I just need to breathe some air.

I didn't exactly have a place in mind so I just stopped at the 7-Eleven and got myself some hot chocolate. I sat on the hood, thinking back to the memories of my mom and dad smiling and being lovey dovey. What a farce.

"What are you doing?" I heard from behind me. I didn't have to look back to recognize that familiar husky voice. The sound of his footsteps against the gravel started and stopped when he was in front of me. He was wearing a grey hoodie that was drenched around his collar and black basketball shorts. The ends of his hair was sticking to his forehead and sweat was dripping down the side of his face. He had one earphone in and the other was hanging out of the collar of his sweater; I could hear babbles of hip hop lyrics coming out of them.

"Enjoying the view." I said taking a sip from my drink. The corners of his mouth twitched as he sat down next to me on the hood of my car. The silence lasted for a while; I was grateful since I didn't feel like talking. Talking led to explaining everything and that would lead to anger and frustration, which would lead me to wanting to bring pain to something. I wasn't in the mood for misguided anger either.

"So..." Natsume interrupted the silence, I groaned.

"Don't even start." That kept his mouth shut. It was then I realized how much control I had in this relationship; was I supposed to be happy? The boy I like is totally whipped. Usually in the dramas I watch, the girls would have an upper hand and throw a bitch fit but the guys would gain control again and thus making the pants of the relationship equal. Are we even in a relationship? We didn't really establish one, 'blanks' huh...

Being lost in thought, I didn't see his arm slipping around my waist and pulling me close. He kisses my cheek before wrapping his other arm around me, and just like that my mind feels more at peace. A simple gesture was all it took, was all I needed; wanted. I didn't like the feeling of being vulnerable, but the warmth of his hug felt so nice. It felt like Natsume was holding me together so I wouldn't break apart.

"Thank you." I mumbled into his sweater, embarrassed.