Latest Chapter - I promised I'd update, and it's the longest chapter yet, sorry it took so long I just really wanted to expand bits of it. Thank you all soooo much for your unbelievably kind reviews they are very much appreciated. Thank you to all who have favorite(d) or Story Alert(ed) as well you are all so lovely. Please keep reviewing, I write faster. Thanks again

- xoxo Scarlett

Saviors – Chapter 6

Carson cleaned the entire house – twice.

She had sat on the porch for almost an hour cried until she couldn't possible cry anymore. Then she taken a deep breath and picked herself up off the floor and went inside. After a long hot shower, and clad in her oldest pair of worn blue jeans she tied her hair up and did her favorite form of therapy (other than retail). She cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned, to the loudest mix of classic rock and mental that existed on her iPod. The mantra going through her head the entire time was, "I will not think about Tim Riggins, I will not think about Tim Riggins." Not that it worked of course.

There was no way in hell Carson could hear anything with how loud Metallica was blasting from the house Julie thought as she made her way through the garden in the front yard. She had grabbed a bus and then walked the quarter mile to Carson's. She hoped she didn't surprise her too much, but then Carson had said to drop by whenever. Julie had been bored at home, her homework was already done and watching her dad have mini-meltdown after meltdown over Jason Street and football had culminated enough that she needed to get away.

She and Carson had talked last night while taking care of Lyla and Julie really liked her. She was fun, stylish, smart, kind. Julie thought she had really crappy taste in men, the way her and Tim Riggins had been joined at the hip since she got to town, but hell everyone has their flaws right?

Still as she walked in slowly through the unlocked door, she looked around in awe at the house. Then looked over to find Carson, dust cloth in hand, cleaning like she was a germaphobe in quarantine. Still Julie silently felt herself go green with envy. From the worn ripped jeans that showed off a lot of perfect legs and exposed stomach up to a white tank top and navy blue bandana tied around her hair. She was effortlessly sexy; Julie had never been sexy in her life, much less in the easy way Carson had. Though it probably didn't hurt that she was dancing in a suggestive way to the music Julie was sure she wouldn't be doing if she knew anyone was watching, she took a step forward yelling, "Hey Carson!" No response. 'Screw it,' Julie thought as she walked over to Carson gently touching her shoulder.

Carson turned around surprised to feel someone touch her shoulder, when she saw Julie standing in her living room she simply smiled, "Hey girl, I'm glad you stopped by."

Just like that Julie fears about being unwelcomed evaporated. Carson had the amazing talent to make people around her instantly comfortable, to make everyone feel important to her. "Yeah I thought I'd come over and see if you wanted to go out tonight, I cannot stay in my house with my father and football a second longer." She informed Carson as the older girl danced over to the radio and tuned it off.

Julie watched as Carson's face fell, just for a second, 'what was that about?' She thought, but then as if it never happened Carson smiled. "Yeah that actually sounds like a perfect idea. Do you want to get ready here?"

'Damn straight I do' Julie thought, a chance to get a look at Carson's closet was too good to pass up. "That sounds great, are you done cleaning?"

Carson looked down at her worn out clothes and the cloth in her hand, God damn it not even a day without Tim and she was a mess. She laughed it off in front of Julie, who's stopping by was a more than welcome distraction. "Yeah I'm more than done how 'bout we head up to my room and see how fabulous we can look tonight?"

'Which is just about the last thing I want,' thought Carson. What she wanted was to curl up with some Ben & Jerry's and a good book and try not to think about a certain pair of hazel eyes rimmed in pain. Instead she lead Julie upstairs and watched at the younger girl looked at her closet as though it was a treasure trove. Even over clothes she couldn't muster too much enthusiasm. Really what the hell was going on? Screw this Carson thought, he said good-bye to you, he's the one who skidded out of your driveway like the devil was on his ass. So screw him to.

Carson knew she didn't mean that, but her subconscious was bitching at her to pull it together so on the outside she did. She was damn good at faking that everything was fine if she wanted to.

She looked up, Julie was looking at her expectantly, damn she must have asked me something Carson thought, "Sorry babe my head was somewhere else, what did you say?"

Julie just laughed her off, "I said we should get dressed and head to the Alamo for a burger, I'm starved." Carson just laughed; the simplicity of the younger girl's statement caught her heart. She had been thinking about all these deep depressing things since last night, and after five minutes with Julie she felt like a real teenager again. So she ignored the tugging at her heart that was Tim Riggins, and got ready with Julie.

They curled their hair, she showed Julie how to put on flawless eye shadow and let Julie pick out an outfit for them both. Julie in her own jeans and a cute green top with a low back of Carson's, and Carson in what she would call understated cute: a blue and green tight fitted flannel and her jean mini with her converse. She felt good as she walked out the door, but if she was honest with herself she was just using Julie as a distraction, a welcome distraction from Tim. But it didn't change the fact that the only person she cared about seeing tonight was #33.

She saw him sitting in a booth with Tyra Collette, who had just finished telling off some sobbing girl who didn't even know Jason, which Carson couldn't help but find funny. She liked Tyra, even though Tyra didn't seem to like Carson all that much. Though they had yet to share two words Carson hadn't missed the non-too-subtle glares from across the hall. She made a mental note to ask Lyla for an explanation. As she sat down with Julie, Carson could barely take her eyes off of Tim.

He was so drunk he almost looked stoned; he didn't say anything and just picked at his food. There were dark red circles under his eyes that Carson wanted to smooth away with sleep and kisses. Just looking at him broke her heart, he was tearing himself apart form the inside out and she didn't know what to do.

Smash distracted her from her inner turmoil with some rather horrible comments about how he was 'going to lead the team to victory' and 'it would all be ok because of him' etc. Which seriously pissed Carson off; there were certain things you just didn't say. And Smash was demolishing basic etiquette rules by the second. She was just about to say something to him when Tim stood up and walked over.

There's only one way this was going to end, Carson thought, badly.

She turned to Julie, who was wrapped up in conversation with another friend, "Jules can you get a ride home?" she asked quietly, Julie nodded even though she looked disappointed, "You shouldn't waste yourself on him Car, he's not worth it."

Carson looked her straight in the eye, "But he is Julie, he's worth everything."

Tim stood; well more accurately swayed, in front of Smash, who acknowledged him with, "What up Rig?"

When Tim calmly said, "Get up." Yup, Carson thought as she quietly stood up, this was going to end very badly.

"What?" Smash asked in surprise.

"You're seating in Street's booth get up."

"Go home and sleep it off Rigs, show up to practice on time for once," was Smash's smart ass remark, but Tim didn't move he just stood there calm and threatening, making everyone in the restaurant, except Carson, uncomfortable.

Carson winced, this couldn't turn into a fight, Tim was too far-gone, and that was all anyone needed. "Whatchu talkin' bout man?" Smash tried again, realizing he was on thin ice.

"You heard what he said." Carson was suddenly at Tim's side he glanced back at her and almost smiled as she closed her hand over his, "What's wrong with you Smash? Jason is lying in a hospital bed and your talking about how you're going to single-handedly win the season without him?" Carson asked, shaking her head, there was no anger in her voice, just disappointment. "I'm not saying that football should stop all together but for Christ sake show a little respect. The last time I was in here Jason and Lyla were in that booth and he got up and walked out that door," she pointed with the hand not connecting her to Tim, "he'll never do that again," she paused letting her words find their mark, "and this isn't you Smash, what happened to the guy who said that beautiful prayer that night on the field? All our hearts were echoed in your words. Where's that guy? Because the one in front of me isn't someone I want to know." Only when she finished did she realize that everyone had fallen silent to hear her speak.

Smash stared at his plate as Carson squeezed Tim's hand and said quietly, "Come on babe, let's go home, he's not worth it."

Tim looked at her and then at Smash, the prospect of throwing him out the window, oddly paled in comparison to leaving with Carson so that's what he did and as they drove past in Carson's truck he noticed Street's booth was empty.

Sadly Tim only had vague memories of that night. Carson taking him back to her place. A flash of the bathroom as the toilet became his stomach's best friend, as she held back his hair and put cool cloths to his neck and forehead, Carson undressing him and putting him to sleep in the softest bed he'd ever lain on. He barely remembered her crawling in beside him; but he remembered how her hand had felt as it found his beneath the covers.

When he woke up suddenly the next morning, head pounding he glanced over at the clock, 4 am. Then he looked around him, he was in what he assumed was Carson's bedroom, cream walls and bookshelves, a window seat and cherry wood floors that matched the headboard. The bed he was in was big and white with a soft red blanket at the bottom. But it was who was in the bed with him that he found so incredible.

Carson anytime day or night was a beautiful sight, but in the early morning before she was awake and the rest of the world saw her, he decided was his favorite. Looking at her lying asleep next to him he could convince himself that she was his. These early moments, when the sun hadn't come up yet, she belonged to him and nobody else.

She wore only a tank top and if he remembered right boyshort panties, but he pictured her walking around in one of his old shirts a piece of him wrapped around her beautiful body. It was something he'd never see, he knew that now, after what happened with Jason there was no way she would ever love him.

A hopeless sigh escaped his lips before he quietly untangled himself from the blankets and Carson's hand before grabbing his jeans and T-shirt that had been laid over a chair in the room. Just as he was about to make his escape, and save both their hearts in the process he thought better of it.

He walked over and after allowing himself to really look at her for a moment, hair spread out over the pillow, pink lips as full and kissable as ever, he bent down and brushed his lips over her forehead. She stirred and whispered, "Tim," then fell back to into a deep sleep. The sound of his name on her lips was his undoing, she said it like it was a prayer, and he almost got back into bed with her.

He knew if he did he'd have the privilege of her waking up in his arms. But she deserved so much better than him so he walked down stairs and just before he walked out her door he found the keys to his truck on the side table next to the door with a glass of water and two aspirin. He smiled sadly, no one ever bothered to take care of him like this so he downed the water and the aspirin before he walked out the door.

Because Carson deserved the best of everything and Tim Riggins wasn't the best of anything.

She didn't hear from him for the rest of the weekend, didn't see him in class Monday morning either. It didn't take much of Carson's considerable brainpower to figure out that Tim was avoiding her.

But she didn't give up that easily, he wanted her to. She knew he wanted her to, but she was her father's daughter and she got what she wanted. And Carson King wanted Tim Riggins and all of the screwed up shit that came with his incredible heart. So she didn't say anything.

Lyla stopped her in the hallway and gave her the biggest hug. They just stood for a moment then Lyla pulled back wiping the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand, "Thank you for the other night Carson… just, thank you."

Carson nodded giving Lyla's hand a squeeze, "Of course, Lyla, I'll be here for whatever you and Jason need."

Lyla looked as is she was going to cry but simply cleared her throat and smiled, "Actually I'm going to the hospital after cheer practice today do you want to maybe come with me?" She asked in an uncharacteristically shy voice.

"I'd love to," Carson replied and watched as some of the light returned to Lyla's eyes.

"Maybe Tim will come too," Lyla said, hopeful.
"Lyla I don't think…" Carson started, but then thought better of it Tim might come, he probably won't but he might, Lyla can at least ask, she thought. So she just shrugged, "How 'bout I meet you at the hospital, around 4:30?"

Lyla nodded excited, and Carson watched as she bounded down the hall faux-enthusiasm running through her system. Lyla had a role to play, Carson thought sadly shaking her head, and it's going to be one hell of a shock when playing out the script doesn't make her dreams suddenly come true again.

"Knock, knock," she said as she rapped her knuckles on the door to Jason's room.

Jason was sitting up in bed, just staring out the window, he turned when he saw her and smiled, "Carson, come on in." It appeared that she'd beaten Lyla here.

She smiled and walked in secretly marveling at the man before her, "How are you Jason?" She watched as his face fell infinitesimally, then his smile popped right back up,

"Not bad, you know, I keep getting better everyday," his smile was forced and it sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as her. So Carson walked over and pulled a chair up to his bed, and sat down, taking his hand in hers. She looked him straight in the eye, "Jason how are you?" He looked down at the hand she held and then back at her.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah honestly," she answered a soft, sad smile touching her mouth, "you can tell me – it stays between us, and only us."

Jason took a deep breath and started, "Honestly I feel like complete shit, my parents are driving me insane: my mom cries all the time, and my dad looks at me like he's never seen me before. Coach never puts any pressure on me but I know how much he needed me and now I've effectively fucked up his career and the worst part is he isn't even angry with me, and Lyla," a tear leaked out the corner of his eye, "Lyla is just so fucking chipper all the time, 'this case worked out' and 'that case worked out', but my case won't and she doesn't fucking get that." He was breathing hard after his outburst.

Jason was more than grateful when Carson sat quietly with him just holding his hand, her thumb rubbing the back soothingly. She just sat there she didn't say anything, but she was there. It felt so good to finally say the truth out loud, not only about himself but about how everyone was acting around him. He was so fucking tired of walking on eggshells. The ironic thing, Jason noted bitterly, was other than a couple of lunches, and a party he barely even knew this girl.

Though he did remember how Tim looked at her. In over 10 years of being Tim Riggins's best friend, and watching the countless conquests come and go he had never seen Tim look at a girl the way he looked at Carson. Now he understood why; she wasn't just beautiful, she wasn't just intelligent, she wasn't just funny, she was more. Carson King didn't shy away from the hard, dark parts of life that girls like Lyla, as much as he loved her (and oh how he loved her), ran screaming from.

Maybe that's what Tim saw in her someone who could handle all the shit that came with who Tim Riggins was, someone who could take on all the pain, and be strong enough to block it. Jason knew, better than anyone, how unfair a hand life had dealt Tim.

He had heard the yelling from Tim's parents, seen the bruises and knew every time one of Bud Riggins's tirades had left another scar on Tim, he helped Tim put up missing posters when his mom left, and convinced his parents that Tim needed to live with them one summer when it was all too much. So he understood Tim, most of the time and at the end of the day they would always be blood brothers, right? So why wasn't he here. For the first time since kindergarten Jason doubted his friendship with Tim.

"Why hasn't Tim come?"

Carson looked at him, shaking her head, running a nervous hand through her long hair, "Oh Jason I don't know. I just can't seem to put my finger on it, but I know he's hurting, and I know he won't let me help." She looked as if she were about to cry, well would you look at that, thought Jason, she as into him as he is into her – lucky bastard.

Carson took a deep breath steadying herself, "Jason, your all that he's thinking about, that I'm sure of." Jason was about to say something when Lyla walked in. Yup, Carson thought wryly, 'fucking chipper' was just about right to describe her. Lyla smiled and gave their joined hands a lingering glance, but when Carson didn't let got, she looked away seeing it for the friendly gesture it was.

"Hey Carson, I'm so glad you came." She spoke as she started hanging up a banner in the room, "You know I was reading up this case during study period…" and off she went. Jason and Carson shared a knowing glance and when Carson rolled her eyes Jason grinned. She gave his hand a squeeze then stood to help Lyla with the poster.

That night Carson was sitting at home doing homework when she realized she forgot her AP Chem book. "Damn it," she muttered as she got up and pulled her boots on – at least she wasn't in her sweats this time she thought, as she grabbed her keys and headed over to the school.

She was walking down the hallway in the school when she saw the reflection of a TV on the wall in front of her. Carson tiptoed around the corner and saw Tim. Sitting in front of the game reels with a remote in his hand.

Rewinding and playing.

Rewinding and playing.

It took her a moment to figure out what was playing and when she did … all the pieces clicked into place. The horrible mood in the morning, the good-bye kiss, the drinking, avoiding her, avoiding Jason and Lyla, it all made sense, Carson thought as Tim replayed Jason's hit over and over again.

He thought it was his fault.

The realization nearly broke her heart. She had been right about Tim going through hell, but it wasn't with worry, it was with guilt. Which was a hell of a lot worse.

"It wasn't your fault," he heard a calm voice that he had been desperate to hear since Sunday morning, say from the doorway. Tim whipped his head around and roughly dashed the tears form his eyes with the back of his hand. Of course she'd find him like this, his life was just so … awesome, he thought bitterly.

He wanted to believe her but she didn't know, she couldn't. She didn't see what he saw when he looked at those tapes, it was as clear as day to him. It was entirely his fault, no getting around that. He hadn't even tried to get to Jason; his lazy, useless ass had just stood by.

These last couple of days he'd been waiting for the bomb to drop, for everyone to hate him. Then she would understand why he'd been distancing himself, he didn't want Carson anywhere near him when he became the most hated man in Dillon.

"It wasn't your fault," she said again coming towards him. In that moment Tim almost gave in. She looked beautiful standing there, the reels casting shadows on her. She wore a white cotton dress and those damn boots he loved on her so much, her hair was down, and her make-up from the day was pretty much a memory. She looked young, and pure, and like… home. In short, she looked like everything he could never have.

And he would be strong enough not to tear her down with him, he told himself. When all he wanted to do was go to her and bury his face in the sweet smell of hair, her softness. He knew she'd forgive him too, which was the hardest of all, he knew she'd take the pain away and it was tempting so very, very tempting.

So he said what he knew would stop her, no matter how much it killed him, "You don't know what the fuck your talking about. Just leave Carson, just go."

Carson didn't move, didn't flinch – she just looked at him, without judgment or pity, she looked at him. And he was so afraid she'd see it, all the pain, and anger, and the guilt. He couldn't handle if she saw the worst most vulnerable part of him.

So he took a step towards her and in a very quiet voice, "I said get the fuck out Carson," and with that he turned his back and broke a promise he'd made to his long gone mother to never treat any girl the way his father had treated her, and those words had hurt Carson as surly as a slap to the face, and he hated himself all the more for it.

"Fine Tim, wallow in your self-pity bullshit and believe what you want, but you are NOT responsible for what happened to Jason Street, and it will be a God damn waste if you let it destroy you," with that she spun on her heel and left.

The smell of coconut and mango lingering from her hair, the only sign that she'd been there at all. He took a moment to breathe it in, letting it break his heart, knowing he wouldn't get the chance again.

Tim went back to his tapes, and Carson ran out of the high school and jumped in her truck. She blasted her iPod and let Rise Against bleed through her veins. Then she did what she did best, she thought bitterly, she ran. She gunned her car out of the school parking lot and just kept driving.

Chapter 7 should be up very soon, we finally get some Tim/Carson action be prepared ;)!