Lamentations of Wily
Wily sat around inside his house. There were equations, poetry, and flow charts drawn into his walls with markers. These last few days he had spent doing one thing: wondering where to go next. He had to think of a way to make his career better than Light's. He had considered leaving Light industries and starting his own company, but there was no way he could compete with his former friend. Light knew how to run a business, and he filled up all niches in the robotics industry. You might as well rename the board game "Monopoly" Light industries. Of course, few considered him to be the greedy industrialist that he is primarily because of his large contributions to charity. He's probably the world's greatest philanthropist…or at least it's richest one.
He sighed and tried to think of another plan. Suddenly, a black robotic bird flew towards him and perched himself on Wily's shoulder. Reggae was his name. Ever since the Robot Masters were deployed, it was hard for Wily to find company, so he built a robotic bird to be an expert in small talk. It was named after his late younger brother, Reggae who had passed on 30 years before. However, unlike Reggae, Reggae had little concern for Wily's problems, and seemed to get a kick out of pissing him off.
"So, got a new plan, do you?" It asked in a squawking voice.
"Yes, I'm considering hacking the Light Industry's mainframe so it delivers every quarter penny earned by the company to my Swiss bank account. I can hack it, undetected, and they'll never notice that money being gone! It's foolproof!" he said.
Reggae laughed "Yeah, until they realize you're making way above your paygrade"
Wily did a face-palm. "Dang it! You're right!" Reggae continued to laugh.
Wily sighed. "How can a genius such as mine have such trouble with this!?"
Reggae smirked and said "A genius such as yours? Doesn't surprise me at all. You've already exceeded my expectations"
Wily shooed the bird away "Piss off…and get me a Coke when you come back!"
Reggae did come back eventually, bringing him a diet Pepsi.
"Good enough, Reggae." Grumbled Wily "new plan: We give the money we gain to charity! That way, he won't think we're getting rich!"
"What's the point? That'd be like giving money right back to him!" said Reggae.
"Hm…well, I give up…at least for today." Said Wily.
"Wha…whaaaat!?" said Reggae
"I'm obviously not going to be able to make a plan in this mood I'm in thanks to you." said Wily.
"Bu…but I like objecting to your plans…" cried Reggae
"Well, go harass someone on YouTube or…I dunno, troll the Chaos Theatre Forums. Laugh at the TV or something" said Wily, shooing him again as he sipped his diet Pepsi.
Taking his advice ((AN: Sorry, but I can't help myself here)), Reggae began typing away with his feet on the Chaos Theatre Forums. "Oh man, You got to see how stupid these pro-humanist people are on the serious discussion forum!"
"Pro-humanist?" asked Wily
"Yeah, Y'know, against the advancement of robotic technologies and Bio-enhancement?" said Reggae
"That's it! I know what to do! I'll convince people that Light is taking people's jobs away! Everyone already blames large corporations for their own problems anyway, how much more convincing is necessary?" said Wily, who then grabbed Reggae and gave him a big hug. The terrified Bird struggled and writhed himself free. "Grab the camcorder! We're going to visit the robot masters!"