Update time! Woo! Seriously, I can't stress enough how much y'all's reviews mean to me. They're all very sweet and, even better, very helpful.
I considered including the hearing itself in this chapter, but there were so many other things that I wanted to go along with it, that I decided I would just give it its own chapter. I didn't want this one to get too long.
This is kind of a sad, dramatic chapter again; the story'll get lighter again! I promise. But I just need to work my way through the gloomy stuff first.
Oh, and I'm sorry sorry that the link to my friend's story didn't show up. I'll try it one more time: it's archiveofourown works/756760. It's a .org address, but I can't include that on here, for whatever reason.
As usual, I don't own any of the characters. (Well, except for Dr. Fields.)
Now that we've gotten all the housekeeping out of the way, here's chapter eight!
After the S.H.I.E.L.D. meeting incident, things were strange between Tony and Harley for a few days. Not bad, just…strange. Their relationship had changed; the changes were subtle, that was true, but they were still there. They needed to reconfigure where they stood, and that took time.
But time passed, like time always does. They went through the day-in and day-out of their various routines; things were good, for the most part, except when they weren't. Then, suddenly, the guardianship hearing was less than twenty-four hours away. Pepper and Tony had sat down with Harley to address his questions and concerns, "Harley," Pepper had said, "You know, in just a few days, we're going to be back in Tennessee."
"Yeah, I know it," Harley had said, "For that thing in court, right?"
"Yes," Tony had said, "For that thing in court. What's going to happen, Harley, is that I'm going to be declared your official legal guardian."
"But only if that's what you want, Harley," Pepper had assured him.
"That's right," Tony had agreed.
"Well, what happens if I don't want that?" Harley had asked.
Pepper had tried to squash the quick stab of hurt his question had caused, "Well, Harley, then your case would be turned over to your social worker, and you'd be placed in the care of foster parents."
"Would I still get to see you guys?"
"I don't know for certain," Tony had said honestly, "But probably not."
Harley had thought about this, "I really do want to live here," he'd finally said, "I only asked because I want to know, you know, everything. I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything like that."
"We really want you to live here too, sweetheart," Pepper told him, "And don't worry about hurting our feelings. It's important that you feel comfortable talking to us about this. It's a major change in your life, and we want you to feel in control of what's happening."
"Will my last name be Stark, after this? Instead of Keener?" Harley had asked.
"No," Tony had answered, "That only happens in the case of adoption."
"What's the difference? Between adoption and guardianship, I mean."
Tony had done his best to explain, "In adoption, I'd be considered your parent—our legal relationship would be permanent. Adoptive families aren't supervised by the court anymore, either. On the other hand, the court does supervise a guardianship, and—under certain circumstances—they can terminate it."
"Are you going to adopt me later on?" Harley had asked.
"Again, only if that's what you want," Tony had answered, "But for now, we just need to take it one step at a time, okay?"
"Okay," Harley had agreed.
"Do you have any more questions?" Pepper had asked.
"I have two," Harley had said, "Once all this is over, do I start calling you guys Mom and Dad?"
"If that would make you happy, then absolutely," Pepper had told him, "But if you're not ready for that just yet, then you can feel free to keep calling us Tony and Pepper."
"What's your second question, buddy?" Tony had asked.
Harley had stolen an uncertain glance at Pepper, "You and Pepper aren't married," he said.
Tony had looked curiously at Harley, "No," he said slowly, "We're not."
Harley had squirmed around nervously before he continued, "So, then…how does this work? How is she allowed to be my guardian, too?"
Pepper and Tony had exchanged a look. This was a question they hadn't stopped to consider. They lived together, they did things together, they slept together, they shared their lives together; it felt so much like they were married, that they'd forgotten they weren't.
Pepper had been the one to finally answer, "I'm actually not sure how that works, Harley," she'd said, "But I know we'll figure something out. We always do."
Now it was the night before they were scheduled to leave, and Pepper and Tony were lying in bed—each doing a very poor imitation of a sleeping person. They both had things they wanted—needed—to talk about, but neither was willing to disturb the calm. In the bathroom, a faucet drip, drip, dripped the passage of time.
Pepper, finally, rolled over onto her side, "Tony?" she whispered, "You awake?"
"You know I am," he murmured sleepily.
"I'm worried about tomorrow."
"Don't be," Tony yawned, "Everything'll be just fine."
"How can you be so relaxed about this?" Pepper asked.
"Because there's no sense worrying about stuff I can't control, Pep. If something bad happens, then something bad happens. We'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it," Tony answered before pressing an absent kiss to Pepper's temple.
"Well, aren't you the calm guy," Pepper said softly, "When did that happen?"
"Around the same time I came home from Tennessee with a ten-year-old kid in tow," Tony said, "It's been an exercise in rolling with the punches."
"It certainly has," Pepper agreed.
They fell quiet again. In fact, they were quiet for so long that Pepper was certain that Tony had fallen asleep next to her when she asked, "Have you been thinking about what Harley said? About us not being married?"
The sheets rustled as Tony shifted in bed next to her, "A little bit," he admitted guardedly, "Why?"
"It was a good question," Pepper said, "Why aren't we? It would make sense, on a variety of levels."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Tony," Pepper sighed, frustrated, "This kind of underwhelming response is not what most women want to hear when they bring up the prospect of marriage to their boyfriends."
"Pepper," Tony mumbled, "It's late, and we're both tired. This conversation isn't going to end well. Can't we just have it in the morning?"
"Fine," Pepper said, hoping Tony couldn't hear the tears in her voice.
The faucet kept up its dripping, and Pepper felt Tony's breathing even out and slow next to her. She gently traced her favorite place on him—the soft, warm spot where jawbone met neck—with her thumb, feeling the light scratch of his beard underneath of it. "What are you so afraid of?" she asked quietly, without expecting an answer.
Pepper nearly didn't get an answer. But, just as she was closing her eyes, there was a barely-conscious mumble.
"Losing you."
Tony, Pepper, and Harley all boarded the Stark Industries private jet at seven sharp the following morning. Pepper had expected Harley to be out of his head excited at the prospect of riding in such a cool piece of machinery, but he was oddly subdued. He'd barely said anything over breakfast, and, at best, merely picked at his Frosted Flakes.
"He's probably just tired," was Tony's diagnosis, "It is pretty early. Don't read too much into it."
But Pepper was a reader-into of things. She couldn't help it; it was part of her nature. It made her an excellent CEO, but it also had an unfortunate tendency to make her a nervous wreck, too. She kept an eye on Harley as they boarded the plane and it took off, but he didn't notice. He was completely glued to whatever he was playing on his Game Boy.
Tony could tell that Pepper was worried, so he did his best to distract her. He made up fake, funny newspaper headlines and flirted as shamelessly as he could while in the presence of a ten-year-old. But, in all honesty, they could've started groping each other across a row of seats for all Harley cared. He was in his own little world.
Tony's distractions sort of worked, for a while, but Pepper's Harley concerns eventually won over and just as they were starting to land, she found herself saying, "Harley? You're awfully quiet today. Everything okay?"
Without looking up from his game, Harley answered, "Yeah."
Pepper shot a look at Tony, signaling that it was his turn to try, "What are you playing?" he asked.
"Pokemon."
"Is it fun?" Pepper asked.
"What do you think?" Harley responded nastily.
"Hey! Watch your tone, Harley," Tony warned.
"Watch your tone, Harley," Harley imitated.
"Harley!" Pepper exclaimed, "What on Earth has gotten into you?"
"Nothing!" Harley yelled, throwing his Game Boy down, "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
Pepper and Tony exchanged bewildered glances; well, Pepper's glance was bewildered, anyway. Tony's was closer to livid. He already had an angry retort waiting on his lips, but Pepper placed a warning hand on his arm. "Just leave it for now," she mouthed.
Tony's mouth closed, then opened again. Finally, he let out a long, frustrated sigh, rolled his eyes, and flopped back in his seat. All occupants of the jet were quiet until it touched down.
Once they were back on the ground, Tony, Pepper, and Harley headed over to their hotel. Instead of going back to New York immediately after the hearing was over with, they'd decided it was a good idea to stay in Tennessee for an extra day. Dr. Fields had been the one to suggest it, "It would be a good form of closure," she'd said, "Let him show you where he grew up—his favorite spots, his school, his friends' houses. It's going to be hard on him, I'll tell you that now, but it's something you all need to do. Harley needs to face his past so he can begin moving on."
The hotel they were staying in was a Holiday Inn Express. Tony usually preferred places with a bit more flash, but Holiday Inn was about as flashy as Chattanooga got. The upside—the rooms were so inexpensive that Pepper had been able to reserve an entire floor. Anytime she and Tony went somewhere, the media had a field day. Considering the circumstances that had brought them to Tennessee, she had a feeling there was going to be an absolute circus, and she wanted to minimize that for Harley as much as possible.
"You'll be in room 425, Mr. Stark," the young desk clerk told Tony breathlessly when he checked in, "Here's your key."
Tony treated her to a slow half-smile, "Well, thanks very much," he said.
"You're welcome," she answered faintly.
Pepper rolled her eyes as she watched Tony flirt the poor girl into a tizzy. She wondered, briefly, what it said about their relationship; that this was something that didn't even faze her. She shook it off. She looked over at Harley, who was sitting cross legged in one of the lobby's plush armchairs. He was staring, unfocused, at some point in the distance. Pepper sighed. He looked so sad, and so old—but also, somehow, very young and vulnerable at the same time.
Tony tapped Pepper on the shoulder, shaking her from her thoughts, "C'mon," he said, "Let's bring our stuff upstairs. If we hurry, we can get lunch before we go to the courthouse."
Pepper nodded, "Harley!" she called, "We're going up."
Harley slid out of the chair and walked to the elevator without a word. They made quick work of unpacking their things once they were in the room. At least, Pepper and Tony did. Harley threw himself down on one of the double beds and went back to his Game Boy.
"Hey, buddy," Tony said, trying to keep things pleasant, "Can you put down the game and unpack, please?"
Harley ignored him. Tony shut his eyes and counted to ten before he said, a little more loudly, "Harley, I meant now."
"I don't care," Harley muttered.
"What did you just say?" Tony asked.
"I said that I don't care!" Harley yelled, "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!"
Tony walked over to the bed and yanked the Game Boy out of Harley's hands, "What the hell is your problem today?" he demanded, patience completely spent.
"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed, but Tony ignored her.
"Answer me right now, Harley," he said.
Harley looked ready to yell back, but his face crumpled before he got the chance. He ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Pepper turned to Tony, her expression a mix of exasperation, sorrow, and fury, "Now look what you've done," she said, "I told you to just leave it! Something is clearly bothering him, and all you managed to do was make it worse."
"Pepper, I wasn't going to just sit there while he mouthed off to me like that," Tony answered.
"You should've left it to me," Pepper snapped, "You let your temper get the better of you, just like you always do."
"Oh, like you're so much better at this than I am," Tony sneered.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't have sent him running to the bathroom in tears—!"
"That's only because you let him get away with everything, which leaves me stuck being the bad guy—"
"Tony, you bring that role on yourself every single time and you know it—"
"Jesus, Pepper, for once in your life, can you just not—?"
"You are impossible—!"
"STOP FIGHTING!"
Harley had emerged from the bathroom, his face tear-streaked and swollen, "Stop fighting!" he yelled again.
Pepper and Tony were both momentarily shocked out of their anger. They turned and looked at Harley, who drew in a shaky breath, "It's my fault, isn't it?" he asked.
Pepper hurried over to him and put an arm around his shoulders. Guiding him over to the bed, she reassured him, "No, no, sweetheart. It's not. This is a very stressful day for all of us, and I think it just reached its peak."
Tony joined them, "It's my fault and Pepper's fault that we fought," he said, "Not yours. Though, the attitude you've picked up—that's completely on you. And I'd like to know why it's there to begin with."
Harley leaned into Pepper, who gave his shoulders a quick rub, "We're in Tennessee," he said.
"Thanks for the newsflash, Barbara Walters," Tony said dryly, but Pepper hushed him.
"No, that's not what I meant!" Harley sounded near tears again, "When we're in New York, it's easier to pretend that nothing's different. I mean, things are different, but not…that kind. But here, in Tennessee, I won't be able to think of anything else."
Pepper and Tony traded upset looks from over the top of Harley's head. Harley didn't notice, and resumed talking, "This hearing…it'll mean that Amber and my mom are really gone."
The last part of the sentence was nearly inaudible. Neither Pepper nor Tony knew what to say to make this any easier on Harley; was there anything they could say to make it easier? A few tears tumbled off Harley's eyelids and slipped down his cheeks, "It's not fair!" he choked out.
Pepper pressed a hand against her mouth while her own shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. Tony looked long and hard at Harley. "You're right," he said, "It isn't fair at all."
Tony took Harley in his lap, "Harley, my parents died when I was fifteen years old," he told him.
"Really?" Harley murmured into Tony's shirt, "How?"
Tony continued, "Car crash. And, I am sorry to tell you this, buddy, but the hurt that you're feeling right now—it never goes away. Not completely. I wish I could tell you it does, but I can't. Because you'll always miss them. And some days you'll wake up and it won't be the first thing on your mind, but then you'll remember—and the hurt starts all over again. Christmases and birthdays are the worst. There'll never be a moment of clarity, a moment of, 'I understand, and it's okay.' But, day by day, it does get easier. I promise. Pepper and I are going to make sure of that. It may be hard right now, but it's not going to be this hard forever."
Tony put an arm around Pepper and drew her in closer. The three of them sat on the bed, curled in silence, for a long time. Tony wondered if, maybe, if this was the first time Harley had let himself truly grieve for his mother and sister.
"I wish I could stop missing them," Harley whispered suddenly, "I wish it all the time. And then I feel bad, because not missing means forgetting, and I don't want to forget them, either.
"I know, Harley," Tony murmured, "I know."
"Guys?" Harley said, eyes drooping, tired out from crying.
"Yeah, pal?" Tony answered.
"I'm sorry I was such a jerk today."
"It's okay," Tony assured him, "I'm sorry, too."
Pepper nodded her agreement, "Don't worry about it, sweetheart."
"You guys?" Harley said again, nearly asleep.
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
Pepper gasped, her eyes bright with fresh tears and surprise. Tony squeezed her hand and then said three words that rarely came out of his mouth, "Love you, too."