REVIEW! ( I know vampires can't cry , but does any of this story make sense?)

THE ADVENTURES OF FELIX AND DEMETRI

ARO'S POV

Felix and Demetri , two of my most truly trusted and faithful guard members , are hiding from rodents? How peculiar ?

"Brother , what is the purpose of this event with these … squirrels?" I asked Caius whom was reading a book he'd recently purchased .

"Well , you may have noticed that the vampire world has not had many crimes lately so I presume , not having many missions , Felix and Demetri have lost their god damn minds and decided to go to the forest to visit the animals . They brought home some random squirrels and are currently playing hide and go seek , they've been hiding under Heidi's bed for a week and a half waiting for the squirrels to find them. Lovely day were having isn't it?"

I marched up stairs into Heidi's room and pulled the blanket off her bed to find two giggling men playing rock , paper , scissors . They looked up and acknowledged my presence in the room and grinned at me like weirdo's .

"Hey , Aro , were hiding from Squirrels !" They both said in union .

"The squirrels are dead , they died of starvation , did you not know the arrival of the Cullen's ? They're having a BBQ outside ."

I pointed to the window , Felix , Demetri and I looked out the window to see the Cullen family sitting on logs (that randomly appeared out of nowhere) , grinning like the Cheshire cat. They had a fire started and had a turning stick with roasting squirrels spinning on it . When they were cooked they poked a stick in there gut's and took a bite . They then noticed us at the window , they politely waved and offered us some Squirrel shish kabob , after we declined , Felix and Demetri burst into tears .

Caius's POV

I'm so fucking glad those shitty squirrels died ! Maybe the Cullen's actually are good for something , the Cullen's left and yesterday after their feast . Finally , peace and relaxation .

I heard a little sniffing , I then felt a little tickle on my legs , then a bite.

"SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ?" I yelled in frustration , I felt the tickle grow . "SOMETHING JUST BIT MY DICK!"

I then realised there were Squirrels down my pant's . I started to shake , attempting to get them out.

"Hey Master Caius , great dancing!"

"OH , SHUT UP ALEC!" I yelled .

He looked confused and probably didn't realise I wasn't dancing but I had small rodents biting my cock .

Then two Squirrels crawled out the bottom of my pants and EVERYONE in the castle said .

"OH…" Then burst into laughter – then I picked up the two Squirrels and squeezed them so hard their guts flu across the room and landed in Jane's mouth.

Everyone started laughing again , then they started screaming at the agony of Jane's gifts .

An hour later , EVERYONE (Volturi guard and coven) were in the throne room and everything was normal again . Suddenly , the Cullen's burst in , their eyes high with hope .

"Heard the were some left over Squirrels in hear!" Carlisle said looking frantic , his family spotted the Squirrels and pounced greedily on them .

OKAY REVIEW!

R.I.P TO THE DEAD SQUIRELS , THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO THERE LOVING MEMORY.

NO SQUIRRELS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FANFICTION .