Stage Seven: Lost Impact

He climbed to his feet, eyes wide, hand on his chest. I knew that wild look in his eyes; I'd seen it before. "Sonic? What are you doing here?"

I grinned. "We're outside one of Eggman's bases, the one by the volcano."

"I didn't realize it was that close to Prison Island." He glanced around, narrowing his eyes. Yup. Lost. Boy, was I glad I wasn't driving anywhere with him.

"Not as close as you'd think." I frown, sighing. I had a lot of catching up to do with him. "Tails just called me here. We're going up to the ARK. You can come if you want."

He raised an eyebrow, pacing, circling me. "Why are you going there?"

"Because you're the key to all of this," I explained, delicately. Had to walk a fine line here. "Maybe Gerald left some record up there. It all comes back to you. Doom came to you, not me." There was so much more I wanted to say here… I don't like holding back. But I had to. Tails and Amy were on their way… if he lost it and went all violent again with them around, who knew what could happen. I wasn't about to risk them like that, no matter how much it'd help me keep it together. I had to get him alone before I could work on that.

"Shouldn't we be going after the aliens?"

I shook my head, trying not to sigh. The aliens. There was so much to cover there, so much I couldn't. "GUN has them under control," I lied.

He curled up his lip, snarling, incredulous. "GUN couldn't handle them in Westopolis, or on the highway. How could they possibly handle them now? I think the ARK was better defended when I was there!"

Of course it was, Shadow. That's why you lost.

Still, I nodded, smiling, doing my best encouraging voice. I tried to get a little bit of that soft sound, the one Amy and Rouge spoke to him with, putting a little breath in my voice. "Good. You're starting to remember!"

That earned me more sneering, and he started to circle more quickly. "What could you possibly know about my past?"

Says the amnesiac. I tried not to roll my eyes. "More than you think. But you never keep pushing at it. You ask the questions, then you run off before I can answer them."

"You're just a fake!" he shouted, the spit flying from his mouth sparkling in the sun. "An inferior copy! How could I trust you?"

I fought not to laugh. I was the fake, huh? Oh boy. "Do you at least trust me to take you as far as the ARK?"

It was his turn to laugh. Open, in my face, stopping right in his tracks, his red eyes wide and angry at once. "Do I trust the idiot who wouldn't even kill aliens to save his skin to take me to the ARK?" Then he stoods straight, arching his back a little, letting his face relax until there was almost no expression left. "Of course I do. You're no threat to me, faker."

That's better. I smiled. "I'll make you eat those words once we work this out."

Shadow grinned, starting to reply, but then a clear voice cut through the air. "Sonic! Is that Shadow you're talking to?"

"Yeah, Tails!" I countered, nervously, trying not to let the tight feeling creeping into my chest affect my voice.

"Well, tell him to board," came a nervous reply.

I looked at Shadow and we made our way over, where a blue and white rocket was waiting for us. Tails was standing there, admiring his work, tails swishing with satisfaction.

Something bout the sight of him there… so proud, looking up at the ship, at the sky… I very nearly had to shake off all the emotions. The pride, the shared happiness, the fear, the regret. There was so much left to do… and I wasn't sure Tails was going to like what was coming.

But it wasn't the time yet. So instead of strapping myself in the cockpit, I made my way to a bunk in the back and strapped myself in there. Who knows how long it had been since I had gotten proper sleep, I mean, real, good sleep? I still felt terrible, still sick, and I wasn't looking forward to the space sickness, though that would at least be less on the parts of the ARK that had gravity controls. I wasn't sure what the problem was, but I had ideas. Sleep couldn't hurt.

I closed my eyes.

They say when you write about your dreams, you should do it in present tense.

They say that helps make it real.

I didn't need any help making it feel real… but maybe for someone else… I want you to understand. I've never told anyone else about this…

It isn't long before the pressure of the G-forces, the roar of the engines, are gone. I'm lying down on cold metal, staring up at a familiar greenish metal ceiling. My blood is on fire. I'm burning, everywhere…

"Shadow," comes a soft voice that grips my chest like a vice. "What's wrong?"

Before I'm even sure what's going on, the words come out of my mouth. His words. "The experiments are resonating with me…"

Oh no. No no no no no no. Not this, not here, not now. What the…

"They're attacking everyone!" We…" She hesitates, and though I'm not looking at her, I can hear the disappointment in her voice, the end of her words not chirping, not rising. "We'll have to evacuate… We'll have to try and find Harold, maybe grandfather, and leave…"

I sit up, looking her in the face, trying not to see her, trying not to retch. The latter works; the former, not so much. She's beautiful. She's so absolutely beautiful, the sweetest girl I've ever seen. Her blonde hair almost sparkles in the light and her blue eyes are so deep, so clear, blue like me.. .but her face. It's so easy to forget she's related to them, to Gerald, to Eggman. That squared off jawline, the nose just a little too big for her mouth. And that clever sheen in her eyes, like she knows so much more… She's so much like Eggman. There's a mental image I don't need…

I shake my head. "Leave it to me. I'll stop 'em."

She should say something about my words, about how they aren't Shadow's words, how the vowels are wrong, how my accent is wrong, how the rhythm is wrong. I'm not Shadow. I'm nothing like Shadow. She can't see it. Not real. Phew. Not real. No time travel. All in my head.

This isn't real. I can't stay here.

We're running toward one of the bays, her cold little hand in mine, he little soft footsteps behind me. We're standing there, watching in horror as one of the blue, sparkling creatures knocks an armored soldier to his knees, sending his gun flyng. It skids up to my feet and discharges, sending sparks flying on a computer panel to my left. The creature looks up at me, coldly, its body wavering, its beady eyes shining, as if waiting to give me a chance.

"Shadow! We have to help him!"

I pick up the gun in my left hand, hesitating, and the thought makes my stomach turn. I don't use guns. Shadow uses guns. But this is a dream, and I'm Shadow. Shadow uses guns.

This is a dream.. or is it? Maybe it's a hallucination. Maybe I'm wandering around Tails' ship right now. What the hell is in my hands there? A gun, or a banana? If I shoot here at this creature in this dream, will I move at all? What will I shoot if there really is a gun in my hands?

The creature strikes at me in my hesitation, and I sidestep, in front of her. She's vulnerable. If I don't move, she'll die a different death.

I can't risk it.

"Shadow?"

I scoop her up in my arms and run past the thing.

"Shadow!"

I run all over the place, finally stashing her away in a supply closet, fighting her squirming in my arms. No artificial chaos there. I put her in the corner near the door. Her eyes are wide, blue almost swallowed up by black, lips taught and straight, like Eggman's.

"Shadow, what are you doing? You left that soldier there!" She's whining, not bothering to try and hide the disappointment.

"It's not real."

"What?" Her voice is screechy, but I can still hear that t at the end of the word, the way Eggman does it. "How can you say that?!"

I put my hands on her shoulders. This is so real. She feels so warm. She smells like medicine and soap. Tears are welling up in her eyes, eyes as cool and blue as me. "I'm dreaming. You're fifty years dead. I'm not really Shadow."

"That.. that's crazy! Even if you are dreaming.. why not help all the people in your dream?"

That? That's a little too zen for Maria. She's a twelve year old girl. What would she know about Chun-nese philosophy? When you dream, the people in your dreams aren't the people you think they are. They're your idea of who those people are at most realistic, and a part of you at least. This Maria isn't Maria. She's not real. She's my idea of Maria. My idea of Maria? Way, way built up. The woman Shadow was willing to kill and die for. The girl Gerald was willing to destroy humanity for. The sweet little girl who inspired the masses.

My idea of Maria is nearly perfect. So, Maria in a dream is going to be the best in me. The wisest philosophies, the kindest feelings. The smartest observations. I'm going to pick her brain.

I think about it a little too long, becuase she says, "Is it what's happening to the research experiments? Is that happening to you, too?"

"Yes. Yes it is," I try to confess, looking down a little bit, trying to do that pouty thing Shadow does. "But I'm a person.. not an animal. Talk me through this. Please. Keep me talking."

"What does it feel like?"

"It burns. I want to destroy things. I want to make people suffer like I suffered."

"But what do you mean, suffered?" She sits down, biting her lip.

I sit down with her, leaning up against her, taking her hand. Her body is so warm, and her ha. "The artificial chaos… they're in tune with each other's feelings. Just like chao. Mistreat one and they all dislike you."

"Have they been mistreated?"

"Of course they have. They're experiments, aren't they?"

"Not by eveyone?"

"No. Not by everyone."

She leans on me. "Could we just evacuate people? Get you down to the planet, where it won't burn?"

"I told you. I'm dreaming. I'm on a ship. An escape pod here if I'm sleepwalking might be an airlock there. An artificial chaos might be my friend. I can't act. I've got to wake up. I know I'm dreaming." I shudder, hanging my head. "I have to wake up."

"It's only seconds, if it's a dream. You'll wake up soon."

"I should already be awake. I'm thinking too hard. You can't stay asleep when you think this hard."

Now, a twelve year old girl wouldn't follow that to its logical conclusion. My Maria, obviously, only looks like a twelve year old girl. She's really just as smart as I am, really knows what I mean by everything I say, becuase she's really part of me.

"You can't be thinking…"

I am.

I leave her there, running back to where the soldier fell. I stand there.

It hurts. It hurts a lot. I feel a hand on mine, on my right hand, again before it all fades away.. .and when I open my eyes again, a long yellow arm was sticking out from the bunk above me, fingertips touching the back of my hand.

That was when I got it.

I snuck out of the bunk slowly, carefully. Tails woke up anyway, blue eyes reflecting in the relative darkness. Before he could ask, I explained, "Gotta take a leak."

He closed his eyes.

I made my way to the engine room slowly, carefully, quietly, hoping I had time. The chaos emerald was there in the receptor. I fished it out, cupping it in carefully in my right hand, and whispered, "Chaos control."

Then I was gone.