A/N: Thanks for all the positive words and comments for the story so far! As a first-time fanfic writer, it means so much to me each time I get a new fav, follow, or review. I will try my best to update regularly :) The story has been evolving as I write it, and many times I go off my original plan, so even I don't really know what's going to happen next!
After Seth's last confrontation with Blair at her house, he took special care to keep a certain distance from her at school. They slowly developed their own schedules and patterns, and, like clockwork, lived on as if the other did not exist. Blair continued her relationship with Luke, and it seemed that her decision to have sex with him cemented their connection and had taken it to the next level. Luke no longer found it necessary to hang around Blair all the time and text her at 6:30 in the morning; in fact, the only time Luke did text her recently was for booty calls randomly in the middle of the night:
Horny. Ur place or mine?
As much as Blair knew that she should feel insulted at the way she was being treated, she actually found herself feeling relieved for once that she can enjoy the relationship for what it is – no messy emotional drama, no strings-attached – just pure physical attraction. Luke was a helpful distraction from the deeper issues that encased her when she tried to fall asleep at night. Lately, she found herself waking up in cold sweat a lot more often, from dreams where she would be spending time with Nate, and then suddenly realizing that it was actually Chuck instead. No matter how much time she spent with Luke, she couldn't seem to erase that part of her history from her subconscious. As for Seth, Blair tried actively to keep herself as busy as possible in order to prevent the image of the curly-haired spaz from creeping back into her mind every half-hour or so.
The feat didn't last for long though, and met its crucial challenge when Luke suddenly had to miss an entire week of school due a case of pneumonia. With Nate, Blair would have played the part of the "loving girlfriend" and brought him some chicken soup to make him feel better, but to be honest, she was just glad that she could have some time off from him for once. Yet, drama classes suddenly became a whole lot more difficult to get through with the gigantic elephant known as Seth Cohen in the room, and without Luke to distract her from him with his idiotic remarks, like "Why is simile pronounced like 'similee' instead of 'simeel'?" and "Isn't the stage manager supposed to be more powerful than the director, 'cause he's like, the manager?" That sort of thing. Blair rolled her eyes to herself.
"Ms. Waldorf? Would you like to volunteer?" Mr. Bieman suddenly asked, waking her from her daydream.
"Hmmm?" Blair replied, unprepared. She hoped he wouldn't ask her to recite any Shakespeare today, since she wasn't in her best condition.
"Allow me to rephrase. Who is the person you dislike the most in this class? Anyone in particular?" the veteran actor/educator asked.
"Oh, that's easy," Blair answered, excited that she would have a chance to act out again after so long. "Seth Cohen. We are not friends." She shot him a look, but to her surprise, caught him motioning vigorously for her to stop, shaking his head violently. Blair was confused.
"Great!" the teacher exclaimed. "Then up you two go! Come on, quickly now!" He ushered the both of them from their seats and made them walk up to the front of the class.
"What on earth is going on?" Blair whispered to Seth ferociously. Blair did not like to be caught off-guard, and the drama teacher was known for going off his rocker from time to time. Seth looked helplessly at her and remained silent. They both turned to Mr. Bieman.
"Well then, since our theme for today is chemistry, what better to challenge ourselves to work with chemistry than to work through it with the person we feel least comfortable with in the room?" Mr. Bieman remarked and clapped as if he had just come up with the greatest idea in history. "Aaaaand – cue music!"
To Blair and Seth's mutual horror, one of the students eagerly rushed to the sound system in the room, and the first keys on the piano of a horrifically romantic song began to play through the speakers. The class froze in an awkward silence and barely anyone made a sound as Adele's sultry voice poured out and filled the entire classroom.
When will I see you again?
You left me no goodbye, not a single word was said
No final kiss, to seal anything
I had no idea of the state we were in
Without a word, Mr. Bieman nudged the two of them closer together, and took Seth's hand, placing it on Blair's waist. Blair's entire body tightened in response to the contact. They had only been close this way once, when Seth had taken Blair to the dance, right before he had abandoned her for Summer. Blair was filled with dread as she realized that they were expected to dance to this song together, in front of the whole class. She checked for Seth's reaction and saw that he looked equally uncomfortable, and had now turned into an uncomfortable shade of green. Mr. Bieman pressed their heads together until their foreheads touched.
"Whatever you're thinking, don't," Blair whispered, praying for the song to end as soon as possible. She looked down at the floor, and tried to count the number of the tiles, or the chairs, or anything that would distract her from this agonizing moment.
"Eye contact," the drama teacher reminded gently, helping them shift their focus back to each other. There was no escaping this. With a heavy sigh, Blair allowed herself to look into Seth's eyes, and the feelings that she had banished from herself came flooding back. The lyrics and the songstress's emotional voice didn't help things, either.
When was the last time you thought of me
Or have you completely erased me
From your memory?
"No," Seth suddenly replied softly into Blair's ear, prompting Blair to stop moving suddenly. Had she heard wrong? What did he say? The teacher noticed that their pace was slowing, and nudged them to continue.
Blair followed the steps, and swayed along with Seth, feeling the warmth of his body against hers. He smelt like fresh laundry and candy canes – just like a seven year-old should smell. Without realizing what she was doing, she burrowed her head deeper into his shoulders, and leaned into him, finally allowing herself to relax. As the final chords of the song drew to an end, Blair tore herself away from Seth slowly, looking into his eyes one last time. He looked back at her, longingly, as if there were a thousand words he wanted to express but couldn't.
"Bravo," Mr. Bieman remarked silently, while the rest of the class erupted into applause. Blair continued to watch Seth as he looked down at his feet and held one hand up in the air in response to the attention, shuffling back to his seat.
I will not let that weasel get into my head. I will NOT let that weasel get into my head, Blair repeated over and over in her head as she sped out of the classroom. It had taken her so long to build up her immunity from his persistent inconsistencies, and she was not about to let herself relapse just because of some stupid drama lesson and sappy love song. She slammed into the door of the girls' washroom, sending a couple of ninth-graders scattering in fear, and stared at her own reflection in the mirror. Easy there, Waldorf, she told herself. Not a coward. Not to be controlled by some boy. Just a boy, she repeated in her head.
Just as she was about to walk away from the mirror, Blair heard two familiar voices coming from one of the stalls.
"Oh my God! Coop! What are you going to do?"
"I don't know! Keep your voice down, okay?"
"You've got to tell Ryan."
"He's going to freak out! What am I going to tell him? Forget it, let's just go, okay?"
Just as Blair was inching closer to the stall in curiosity, both Marissa Cooper and Summer Roberts stumbled out simultaneously, a paper bag in Summer's hand. They both froze as soon as they saw Blair, who was standing in front of the stall with her arms crossed, a smug smirk on her face.
"What did you just hear?" Summer demanded, growing slightly pale.
"Oh, just about everything you didn't want me to hear," Blair replied, turning around to face the mirror and reapplying her lipstick.
Marissa rushed forward. "Please, Blair. I know we're not exactly friends or anything, but can you please not tell Seth? I'm begging you here," she pleaded, tears streaming down her face. The normally composed blonde was clearly shaken.
Blair's heart softened with a slight sense of pity at her desperation. She knew what it was like to be trapped in a stupid mistake – one that threatened to change a girl's entire life. In fact, not too long ago, Blair had dealt with the very same scare herself. Suddenly, the washroom door opened and a sophomore walked in, interrupting the triangle. Marissa literally jumped at the interruption and Summer scrambled to hide the bag behind her back. Blair decided that she would take action.
"Excuse me," she said, stepping up to the girl, "but this washroom is under construction at the moment. Please use another one." She flashed the girl her trademark smile, waiting for her to retreat. But the girl was defiant.
"Uh, why are you three in here, then?" she asked skeptically.
"Because we can. Now, SHOO!" she replied, pushing the girl violently out the door, then locking it. Marissa and Summer watched at the sidelines, impressed at Blair's quick thinking. Blair returned moments later, dusting her hands off in satisfaction.
"Thanks for that," Marissa murmured, still unsure of Blair's agenda.
Summer grabbed hold of Marissa's arm and ushered her towards the door. "C'mon Coop, let's just go and figure this out somewhere else," she half-whispered, watching Blair's triumphant expression uneasily. Blair stepped aside to let them through the door.
"And what do you plan to tell Ryan?" she asked casually, knowing the effect the question would have on Marissa. Marissa stopped dead in her tracks, and even Summer stayed silent.
"I...we haven't decided yet," Marissa admitted finally, turning around. She wasn't ready to walk out the washroom and face reality after all. "Got any good ideas?"
"In fact, I do," Blair retorted lightly. She stood up straighter, excited that she was making herself useful, even if it involved helping Seth Cohen's friends. "First things first – how late are you?"
Marissa shared a glance with Summer. "A week…two weeks," she replied meekly.
"And this is the first test, I presume?" Blair asked promptly, as if going through a mental checklist.
"Yeah, the first. Sum brought it here for me first thing this morning."
Blair had a thoughtful look on her face. She held out her hand. "Mind if I take a look at it?" she asked.
Marissa shrugged and handed it over. She looked away, filled with dread about what would happen if Ryan were to find out. Summer patted her shoulder reassuringly, worried for her friend.
Blair examined the test in the bag, pick it up carefully with a tissue while making a face. "Normally I wouldn't do this for fear of contracting a disease or two, but you look like you need an expert right now. Let's see…hmmm…" Blair looked more closely at the test and nodded to herself. "If anything, it looks like an extremely light positive. You also used the most unreliable brand possible. Where did you get this, the dollar store?" she asked Summer with a frown. Summer opened her mouth in defense, but Blair interrupted her. "Either way, I don't think this gives you a clear answer whether or not you're actually, you know, pregnant, so just take a deep breath."
Marissa seemed to have calmed down a little, but she still had many unresolved questions in her mind. "But what if it is right? What if I am pregnant, and then I'd have to tell Ryan, and he's going to be so mad at me. And oh God, Sum! What am I going to do?" she sobbed openly now, her head buried in Summer's sweater.
"Well there's no use crying about it now," Blair said pointedly. "Besides, if he's the type to get mad at you over a mistake that both of you made together, he's not worth the tears anyway." Blair smiled at the wisdom of her own words. Maybe she should take her own advice once in a while.
Summer glanced at Blair, beginning to see her in a new light. "Blair's right, Coop. If Ryan's the guy you think he is, he won't be mad at you for this. You two will get through this together, and we'll all think of something," she reassured Marissa, making eye contact with Blair. She gave Blair a small smile, and Blair smiled back. It was the first time Summer had referred to her by her actual name, and this portrayal of loyalty to her best friend even impressed Blair a little.
"Well, don't go running out and making plans for a baby shower yet," Blair interjected sarcastically. She was not one for warm fuzzy girl talks, and besides, there was still a mission to be carried out – and those she did like. "Summer, you go and run to the drug store and get Marissa another test. It needs to be a Clearblue digital, the ones that predict even before you miss your period," Blair continued like a drill sergeant. She turned to Marissa. "Marissa, try to wait as long as possible before taking another test. Usually they're accurate as soon as you miss your period, but get more accurate the longer you wait. Do you think you can wait until tonight?" Marissa nodded slowly, wiping away her tears. "Good, then Summer and I will come over later tonight and we can all look at it together, okay?"
"We can watch The Valley together to keep you distracted until after dinner," Summer suggested. Blair rolled her eyes, but didn't protest. "So, can we get out of here now? This place smells," Summer whined, covering her nose.
Blair wrinkled her nose, as if noticing the smell herself for the first time. She motioned at the door, and the three girls slid out into the hallways. As soon as they made it out, however, they came face-to-face with none other than Ryan and Seth, who gawked at the three of them in confusion.
"Summer. Marissa. Blair." Seth nodded at each of them, unsure of what to make of the trio in front of him. "A most unusual grouping. Uh, what were you three doing in the washroom together?" Seth implored, looking questioningly at Summer, then at Blair.
Summer stepped up in front both Blair and Marissa defensively. "Nothing, Cohen. It's just girl stuff. None of your business. Go away!" she hissed.
"I cannot think of a single topic that you three can talk about together. Except unless you were talking about me, of course," Seth joked. Both Blair and Summer immediately scowled at him, and Summer jabbed him sharply in the ribs. "Ow!" Seth screamed. He was just recovering when he noticed the brown bag in Summer's hand. "Hey, what's that?" he asked in curiosity, snatching it swiftly from her grasp.
Summer launched for it immediately but it was no use. "GIVE IT BACK TO ME, COHEN!" she screamed frantically at him. But it was no use. Summer's tiny physique was no match for Seth. He opened the bag eagerly and peeked inside. As soon as he saw the contents of the bag, the smile disappeared from his face, and he slowly gave the bag back to Summer. Summer instantly grabbed it from his hand and stuffed it into her purse. "What is wrong with you, you jerk?" Summer cursed, punching him hard.
"Ow! I'm sorry," Seth replied sincerely. He looked at the three of them in renewed concern. "But, why do you girls have a positive pregnancy test?" he asked, his voice dropping into a whisper. The five of them looked awkwardly at each other, no one being quite sure what to say.
Blair stepped forward boldly, holding out her hand. "Summer, it's okay. Give it back to me," she commanded, swiftly taking the test that Summer had retrieved and stuffing it into her own purse. "Both of you can relax. The test is mine, Cohen," she said, looking him right in the eye without any hesitation. "Luke and I…we did it, and I think I may be pregnant. You two can keep a secret, right?" she asked Ryan and Seth convincingly, swallowing hard.
Seth's eyes shifted to the floor. He didn't know why the revelation bothered him so much, especially since things were finally going well with him and Summer. Over the past couple of weeks, Summer had miraculously forgiven him for their disastrous date, seeing that him and Blair were no longer speaking to each other. They had even gone on a few dates since then, though they both actively avoided the topic of Blair Waldorf altogether. Summer seemed to notice his discomfort, and observed him with a pout.
It was Ryan that finally broke through the silence. "Uh, yeah sure Blair. Seth and I won't say anything, right Seth?" Seth stayed silent and looked away.
"Well, we've got some things to take care of, so excuse us," Blair finally said, pulling Marissa away by her wrist. She didn't like what had just happened, but someone had to do something. The poor girl was shaking like a leaf. Good thing Ryan was too distracted by Seth's reaction that he didn't notice Marissa's. The three girls made their way past Ryan and Seth.
"Blair, wait up." It was Seth. He was still looking at the floor, eyes refusing to meet Blair's. Blair turned around and took a shaky breath, waiting to hear what Seth had to say. Summer hung slightly behind, unsure whether to feel furious or just plain disappointed. He walked up to Blair.
"When did it happen?" Seth asked quietly, as if trying to sound cool.
"Why do I owe you an explanation?" Blair replied in the same calm tone. She promised she wouldn't let Seth Cohen get to her anymore. She pulled her chin up, reminding herself to look tough.
"Was it everything you thought it would be?" Seth asked, sounding slightly bitter.
"What, sex with Luke?" Blair asked. She had no idea what he was trying to get to, and why he was sounding so much like some jealous boyfriend.
"No, I mean, sex – at all."
"Oh." It finally dawned on Blair that Seth thought she was a virgin. Which should not be so surprising, had she not gone and slept with three guys – and the only three guys of her life – all in a short span of 6 months. She decided to play along with it, and replied vaguely, "Well, you know. It is what it is."
Seth nodded for a whole five minutes for insurance, as if he thought her reply made perfect sense, although he had absolutely no idea what that meant. He wasn't exactly versed when it came to sexual vocabulary, so he thought nodding would be the safest move at this point. Summer continued to watch from afar, not knowing what to make of this conversation.
"Anything else you want to know?" Blair asked lightly. She continued to look straight at him, as if challenging him to be frank with his words.
"I hope it was worth it," was all Seth said, at last meeting her gaze, then walking away. Something died a little inside of Blair, as she saw the hurt in Seth's eyes. It was unreasonable, but she knew that she had hurt him, just the same. She turned around and saw Summer, who had heard the entire exchange. They looked briefly at each other, then without so much as uttering a word, mutually decided that there would be no discussion about it. They walked side by side behind Marissa in absolute silence.
That night, Blair showed up at Marissa's house, ready for any disaster that was about to take place. She had with her all the emergency numbers for the best doctors in town, and also the contacts of some social workers her minions had passed on to her, just in case. She had to be really discrete as to why she suddenly needed all of them, but Blair practically had a degree in creative story-spinning, so the process was relatively easy.
She walked into Marissa's room and saw both Summer and Marissa sitting around a Clearblue pregnancy test, fresh out of the box. They were staring at it intensely and jumped up in surprise when Blair appeared.
"Relax, it's just me," Blair assured, rushing forward. She checked her watch – it was eight-thirty. "Are you ready?" she asked Marissa.
Marissa gave a small nod. She disappeared into her bathroom, while Blair and Summer waited nervously outside. An episode of The Valley was playing on Marissa's TV, on mute. Blair and Summer sat in absolute dead air, and Blair could hear the sound of Marissa's clock ticking.
"Are you alright in there, Coop?" Summer called out.
"Uh-huh. Just give me a sec."
Summer nodded and continued to look around the room, trying to avoid speaking to Blair. Blair did the same, but the deafening silence was driving her insane.
"Do you want to talk about what happened today? With Seth?" Blair asked at last, giving in.
Summer looked over at her. "It was nice, what you did today," she answered casually.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Are you and Seth…?" Blair trailed off, waiting for Summer's reaction.
"We are, but we're not. No – not really. I mean, we've been on a couple of dates but, nothing serious," Summer explained, confusing herself in the process.
"Oh."
"And you and Seth?" Summer couldn't help but ask.
"Absolutely nothing. Not even friends," Blair replied quickly. Another long awkward silence. Marissa was taking an eternity in the bathroom.
"He likes you, you know," Summer suddenly said.
Blair did a double-take. "What? You mean Seth?" she snorted at the remark. "Give me a break. The guy worships you. He hardly bats an eyelash at anyone else."
Summer was relentless. "Don't tell me you didn't notice the way he looked today when you told him you and Luke had sex. He looked like someone went and shattered his heart into a million pieces," she asserted, making a face. "Look, you don't have to be worried about hurting me or whatever. I mean, I like him and all that, but he's not my soulmate or anything. I mean, ew," Summer said, rolling her eyes. She tried to hide her frustration, but Blair saw right through her mask.
"You know what I said to Marissa, about having a guy who's worth it?" Summer nodded slowly. "Well, the same goes for the two of us. We deserve a guy who's man enough to be honest with his own feelings, and responsible for his actions. This whole thing that he's doing with you – and me – it's not okay," Blair told Summer, and also herself.
"Do you like him?" Summer asked Blair, point-blank.
Blair straightened her shoulders. "Yes. Well, I used to. I don't know anymore," Blair admitted, wanting to be honest for once. It felt as if a gigantic load had been lifted off her shoulders. They continued to look at each other, unsure of what to do about this embarrassing mess.
"Okay. Well, since you were so kind as to be honest with me, I'm going to be honest too. I like Seth, a lot. He makes me laugh, and he might be silly sometimes, but I kind of like that he's a dork, and not just into me for sex, you know? So, yes. I like him. And I'm not backing down," she exclaimed as she got to her feet, surprising herself.
Blair also got up, brushing herself off. Blair Waldorf never fought for a boy. If Summer wanted him so badly, she could have him. "Well, you can keep him. I've got Luke, anyway, and anything that may have been going on between Seth and I – it's over now," she assured Summer with a tight smile.
Suddenly, Marissa burst out of her bathroom door, breaking their tension. "It's negative! Nothing! I'm not pregnant! SUMMER! BLAIR!" she yelled, hugging Summer tightly, and then, to Blair's surprise, her as well. "Thank you so much Blair, for what you did today. I don't know how I would have survived today without you!" she almost squealed, holding Blair tight.
Blair didn't know what to say. She wasn't used to body contact with others; she only allowed that degree of intimacy from Serena. But she was glad that Marissa was okay. "Good! Now call Ryan! He must think we're so weird after what happened today!" she told her, waving her off. Marissa giddily ran off to find her cell phone, practically prancing away.
"Thank you," Summer said to Blair, giving her a smile as Marissa walked off. "Not just about Seth. About what you did today for Marissa, and for being honest with me, as well."
"I'm not hugging you," Blair replied with a raised eyebrow. She gave Summer a reluctant smile nonetheless. The girl was alright, save for her bad taste in clothing.
"Ew," Summer responded. Marissa appeared again, waving her cell phone, and mouthing the word Ryan. She put the phone to her ear and began to chirp happily to him.
"Well, then I guess my job here is done," Blair said decidedly, heading for the door. Marissa waved at her, and Summer gave a small nod. Blair walked herself out of her house and got into her car, letting out a huge sigh after the bizarre events of today. It almost seemed like a day in the Upper East Side. She hummed cheerfully as she drove herself back home, feeling more relaxed than she had in weeks. She was finally ready to write off the Seth Cohen chapter and wave goodbye to all the drama that was attached to it. Blair pulled into her driveway, confident that she would sleep well tonight.