A/N: Some of the interaction was taken from Seth and Summer's interaction after Seth had broken up with Anna. I mixed it up a little with the dialogue from The Age of Innocence, so hope you guys liked that touch! Again, thanks for the ongoing support, and looking forward to hearing what you guys think about this chapter! :)
"Blair – wait! Just wait up!" Seth called after her, dashing into the halls to stop her. He had no idea what he had done this time to make her so angry – after all, wasn't this what she had wanted? He had finally worked up the courage to admit to her, and himself, how he truly felt. Surely this was an accomplishment.
But Blair wouldn't stop. She blindly made her way down the hallway, running into countless students in the process. Don't turn around, Blair, she told herself repeatedly. She felt her face growing hotter and hotter as she continued to shove band geeks and cheerleaders out of her way, refusing to slow down for even a second, lest Seth Cohen catch her before she was able to clear her mind and figure out what to do.
To her dismay, Blair's heels were no match for Seth's skateboard, which he had used to catch up to Blair as soon as they were outside of the school. He cut sharply in front of her, blocking her way.
"Move it, Cohen," Blair threatened, clenching her jaw. "I mean it. I'm not going to have this conversation with you again."
"What conversation?" Seth replied, playing dumb for a little bit. He knew Blair was just trying to avoid him because she was in denial of her own feelings. Things were going exactly the way he had planned.
"The conversation where we talk about our friend slash non-friendship, and where we try to figure out for the millionth time what we're going to do with each other. I thought we've been over this before. What is there to talk about?" Blair answered his question with a steady stream of replies, barely taking a breath. Seeing that Seth was hesitating yet again, Blair grunted in annoyance and continued to walk.
"Wait -" Seth reached out and grabbed Blair's wrist, preventing her from going any further. Blair was noticeably bothered, but stayed where she was regardless. She refused to look at him, so he continued speaking as they were, Blair's back turned against him.
"Don't you wanna know why I auditioned for that role?" Seth asked finally, working up his courage to finally say the words he should have said the moment he met her. He drew closer to her, slowing spinning her around to face him. They stood as they had in the classroom, face to face with one another, as if no one else existed in the world except for the two of them.
Blair looked into his eyes in confusion. She had no idea what to think. With Seth, it was always one step forward, two steps back. She tried to read what was in his eyes, and she saw once again his sincere and pleading expression. Then she remembered – Summer.
"No, Seth. I don't want to know why you auditioned for the role. I have no idea why you do half of the things you do. You stood up for me when you thought Luke was taking advantage of me. Then you judge me for wanting to have my own friends here in Harbor. Then you go and whisper the most ridiculous things in my ear, telling me that you haven't forgotten about me." Tears were welling up in her eyes now and she struggled to continue her labored accusations. Blair clenched and unclenched her fists, unable to stop herself. "Then you judge me for having sex with Luke after you've chosen Summer. And then you apologize and say you want to be friends. So now this is us – being friends," she finally finished, gasping for air.
"I – I know, Blair. I know I've been a jackass, and I know I've been stupid, and –" Seth tried to explain, putting his hands on Blair's shoulders.
"Yeah, you know what, you have been a total jackass. And you've been selfish, and indecisive, and possessive – even when you made it clear you didn't want me. And now that I no longer want you, and just when things are going well with Luke, now – NOW you say you want me. Well it's too late for that. You've missed your chance, Cohen," Blair told him abruptly. It hurt – God, it hurt more than anything to say it – but she knew in her heart that it was the right thing to do. She was no Serena van der Woodsen, and she knew firsthand how it feels to be betrayed by a friend. She would not do that to Summer, especially not after the way she had been there for her through the entire debacle with Luke.
"Are you happy with Luke, Blair?" Seth finally asked, running out of ideas as to what he could say to make her change her mind. He had to admit that pretty much everything she had just said was completely true. It had taken him much too long to realize just what he was missing.
"I am," she replied firmly, as if trying to convince herself as well. Her heart was torn between wanting him to fight for her – to tell her no, that he wasn't going to give up – and wanting him to just let her go. She was exhausted from all this back and forth, and exhausted from having to force herself to not have feelings for him one day, only to have them all flooding back the next, when he would decide that he wanted to make nice again.
Seth watched her and waited for her to falter, but she showed no signs of doing so. Instead, she kept her perfect Waldorf poise as usual, blinking back her tears to reveal a crystal clear set of dark brown eyes that showed her fire and determination. In that moment, he knew that he had lost. Blair's pride was worth more to her than anything else, and he knew that it was going to take more than his constant groveling to make her change her mind. And besides – she insisted that she was happy with Luke. Although he had finally ended things with Summer so he could force himself to make a decision, it did not mean that Blair suddenly had the responsibility to reciprocate. Realizing that he may really be, in fact, too late, he slowly let go of Blair, taking a step back away from her. Without a word, Blair turned around on her heels, walking away from Seth and straight into the school.
After the incident, Blair proceeded to revert to her old ways of acting as if Seth did not exist. She was now angry at him for a host of different reasons – first for ruining her chances of playing Ellen in the production, second for his hot-and-cold act, and then finally, for the douchey move he had made hitting on her while he was still with Summer. To be honest, Blair found it flattering, and was slightly moved by the fact that he had finally found it within himself to admit that he had feelings for her. But just like everything else he did, he had managed to completely screw up the sequence and the content of that confession, and that had made all the difference. She tried, once again, to evict Seth Cohen from her mind, concentrating on her new role – as May Welland of all characters. She sighed deeply, hating Seth several degrees more instantly for the demise of acting as her least favorite character in the entire play. And because irony seemed to be a friend of Blair's lately, Seth was conveniently cast as none other than Count Olenski, Ellen's aristocratic husband. The relationships between them were now so fittingly complex that perhaps Summer and Luke should be cast as Ellen and Newland to perfect the circle of life.
Before she knew it, it was time for the performance of the play, which was to take place in front of the entire school. It was a rather rushed production, considering everything from the audition to the rehearsal and then now the actual performance, had taken place in the span of only two weeks. During this time, rehearsals had been painfully awkward, with Seth looking longingly at Blair every time she appeared, and Blair, pretending to remain unfazed by his desperate stares. Several times now Seth had tried to approach her to make her change her mind, but it was no use – she was not having any of it. She had always managed to make an escape just when Seth approached her, and the hectic rehearsal schedule made sure that the two of them never shared any time alone. Luckily, the topic of Seth never once came up between Summer and Blair; it was as if an unsaid pact was already made between them not to let the moron get in between their blossoming friendship. They gossiped about girls at school and discussed their views on celebrity pairings, but never once about the status of either of their relationships with Seth.
Now, Blair stood and waited nervously behind the curtain, waiting for her signal to enter. Running through her lines last minute, Blair closed her eyes and tried to concentrate, aiming for nothing less than a flawless performance, as always. She wouldn't wait to wow the audience, even if she didn't get her preferred role because of that mumbling ball of awkwardness. As if on cue, Seth appeared at the opposite of the stage, looking clean and sharp in his costume.
Hoping that Seth wouldn't see her, Blair couldn't help but observe him silently from head to toe, dressed as the wealthy count. Blair hated admitting it, but he sure cleaned up nice. She watched as he fidgeted, obviously anxious about appearing on stage. Even though she had denied that his move to audition for the play had affected her, she knew what a big deal it must have been to Seth, who possessed an intense fear of pubic speaking. While Blair was lost in her own thoughts, Seth caught her staring at him from across the stage, and made his way towards her.
Shit, she thought, looking around frantically. She hadn't planned an escape route for tonight of all nights. She was too worried about her performance to consider her getaway plan in case he tried to talk to her again. She realized, her heart sinking, that there was no place to run. She was set to be on stage in around five minutes, and feigning a washroom break was now out of the question. She stayed where she was, hoping that Seth would give up easily this time.
"What do you want?" she snapped in a loud whisper, before Seth even opened his mouth.
"Blair, it's been two weeks. Are you done being mad at me yet? Can you just let me explain?" Seth whispered back, pulling her aside. Blair flung away his hand, afraid of the impact that his touch may have on her.
"No! I'm not listening to you anymore. And leave me alone! Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate? I need some quiet time to work on my lines and get in character! Shoo!" Blair shot back, unwilling to back down. Seth Cohen was like an annoying fly that refused to die, despite being swatted for a million times already. She glared at him menacingly, waiting for him to walk away. But he didn't.
"I will not 'shoo', Blair. In fact, I'm not putting up with this anymore and I'm not leaving until I finish saying what I have to say," Seth replied bravely. It seemed all the time he had spent getting into character had helped him develop his own courage as well. Or it may have been the liquid courage that he had consumed before the show. Meh.
Blair covered her ears. "I can't hear you!" she whispered, turning away from him. She knew she was being immature, but it was the only thing she could think of, trapped in such a small space. She was afraid of what he was going to say, or do to her.
Seth grabbed her firmly by both her wrists, forcing down her hands to uncover her ears. He spun her around to face him directly, pushing her to listen to him. "Yes you can, Blair. Look, I know I've screwed up big time with you. I know I've made a ton of mistakes and that I've hurt you, and that I can't just waltz in her and expect you to forgive me. I know that. But you have to at least let me try." Blair tried again to cover her ears, but Seth successfully pinned her hands down, so that her movement was now restricted. She smelled alcohol on his breath, and she leaned back slightly to distance herself from him, trying to keep calm. The curtains rustled behind her.
"You can't try, Seth," Blair whispered, more loudly now, showing her frustration. "What about Summer? And Luke? What about them, huh? You can't just do whatever you want and expect the whole world to adjust itself in order to make you happy. What about what makes me happy? Or Summer happy, huh? Have you ever thought about that? Why can't you just make up your frikken mind already? Why is it that you only want me when I'm not available? It's all just a game to you, isn't it, Co -"
"Just shut up, Blair." Before Blair could protest, Seth grabbed her by the back of her head, pushing her lips to meet his to silence her. She considered briefly to pull away, but then decided against it, lost in the passion of the moment. Her heart swelled in response to the rhythm of their tongues, that were now tangled in a complicated jumble, taking her breath away. She opened her mouth to receive his kisses, which alternated between long and hard, fleeting and soft. Her lips lingered on his and neither of them parted from each other, Seth's hands running through her silky, brown hair. She pressed her mouth closer against his, allowing her need for him to become more apparent through her every action and reaction.
Suddenly, the curtains opened, and the stage revealed the two of them, fully engrossed in each other, their lips still locked. The audience and the other cast members gasped loudly in a mixture of surprise and horror, while the stage management team watched in amusement. The entire auditorium stood completely silent as a thousand somewhat teens and handfuls of parents and teachers watched Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf, getting it on right there on stage. After what seemed like an eternity, Seth finally lifted himself from her embrace, and looked around to realize that they had been under surveillance all along – correction – they became the entire show altogether. Blair also turned her head slowly in horror only to notice both Summer and Luke, sitting in the audience. She couldn't quite read the expressions on their faces; Summer looked rather blank, as if she was examining a painting in great detail, and Luke – well, he looked like Luke, who was perpetually confused. She didn't know who to console and explain to first, and began to panic. As if finally realizing the scale of the situation, the stage managers quickly acted to close the curtains, hiding Seth and Blair once again. The audience instantly erupted into wolf calls and loud cheers, and many students began clapping in excitement. Blair felt nauseous.
"I-I…what the hell was that, Seth?" Blair asked, stepping away from him. She told herself to think fast and react, but her head was heavy from all that had just happened between the two of them. "I've got to get to Luke…and Summer," she finally said, stumbling away.
"Blair," Seth said, reaching out to her, holding her hands again. "You don't have to explain to Summer. I've ended things with her for two weeks now, ever since that time with me and you…in the parking lot. I've tried to tell you this whole time, but you wouldn't listen." Blair opened her mouth, then closed it again, unsure of what to say.
"So now that you and Summer aren't together…you choose me?" Blair asked, still unsure about how to feel.
Seth took a deep breath and looked at her earnestly, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "No. You've got it the other way around."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not that now that Summer doesn't want me, I'm choosing you, Blair," Seth said carefully, taking extra care not to mess up on what may be the most important speech of his adolescent bvt6life. "I ended things with Summer because of you. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about you, couldn't put you out of my mind. Every time I see you, you happen to me all over again. So what I'm trying to say is, it's always been you, Blair. I was just too blind to see it, and too stupid to admit it. But I'm awake now, and if you give me a chance, I will spend every day after today making it up to you," Seth promised tenderly.
Blair's heart skipped a beat, and melted helplessly at his words. At last, someone she wanted, wants her in return. Not Serena, not Summer, not any other girl - but her, Blair Waldorf. "Are you quoting Wharton to woo me, Seth Cohen?" Blair teased, albeit impressed.
"Was I? I didn't notice. I just said what I was feeling – what I am feeling," Seth told her, still holding her hands. They stayed silent for a while, just holding hands, while the rest of the cast struggled to continue the show without them. "So…what now?" Seth finally asked.
"Now, I have to talk to Luke," Blair replied, thinking as she spoke. She took a step away from him, allowing him to let go of her hands. "You may have told Summer, but Luke – he has no idea what just happened." She looked up at Seth. "Wait for me?" she asked in a small voice.
Seth nodded. He watched as Blair disappeared, making her way out to find Luke. He sat back, reveling in the kiss that they had just shared, and hoping that things were finally going to work out the way they were supposed to – Seth and Blair, Blair and Seth. He shook his head and laughed a little at the thought. Who would have known?
"Luke!" Blair called, finally catching him amongst the crowd. She had waited for him to come out of the auditorium, still dressed in her costume. The people around her shot her judging looks, recognizing her from the show that she and Seth had treated them to earlier, but she didn't care. She knew she had hurt Luke, and she wanted him to hear the words directly from her. "Luke," she said, making her way to him, "what you just saw there, I -"
To her surprise, Luke looked calm and peaceful. "I know, Blair-Bear," he replied softly. "You don't have to say anything. I've seen the way you look at him and the effect he has on you. It was inevitable. I guess I was just waiting for it to happen." He gave her a sad, but understanding smile.
"You mean…you're not mad at me for what I – what we did?" Blair asked, surprised that she was off the hook so easily. She hadn't really meant to be serious with Luke, but she had to admit that he had grown on her in the past few weeks.
"Nah – I just want you to be happy," Luke told her, offering her his hand to shake. "Friends?"
Blair's heart melted for the second time that day. She wondered where guys like Luke were for her entire life in the Upper East Side. Guess California had its good points after all. Her mind wandered back to Seth, who had managed to take her breath away tonight with his sudden display of determination. She nodded her head at him, taking his hand, and shaking it firmly. "Friends," she affirmed.
"Now go!" Luke gave her a little shove, nudging her back to the back stage, where Seth waited for her. She hesitated, observing Luke's reaction one last time, and, when she realized that he seemed indeed to be fine, rushed back in the direction that she came, pushing through the double doors that head to the stage.
She ran inside, shouting his name. "Cohen! Cohen! Where are you?" she demanded, rummaging through the miles of curtains and costumes that have now been left strewn all over the floor. She almost tripped over a part of the set, and recovered just in time to see Seth standing right in front of her, a smile on his handsome face, showing his deep dimple.
As soon as she saw him, she leapt directly into his arms, almost knocking the wind out of him. Seth took a step back at the impact, but swept her up until her feet no longer touched the ground, returning the embrace. He squeezed her tightly and continued to do so, until he could feel her struggling.
"I can't breathe, Cohen," Blair coughed out, trying to push him away. But Seth laughed and pulled her even closer, refusing to let her go, for fear that that he may lose her again. They stayed there at the back of the stage, laughing and hugging, holding each other until the last of the students cleared the school and it was just the two of them – Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf.