Another 24 page chapter, Good Lord…Okay sorry this one is late, but I can't update every other day with chapters this length. From now on Make hell not war will be updated once a week or once every two weeks.
I have an explanation as to why this took so long at the bottom, and my response to reviews is also at the bottom so you guys can just enjoy the story instead of listening to me ramble xD
So read and Enjoy.
"That's hilarious."
Was he laughing at her?
Toph glared in the direction of Navaro's voice. She concentrated on his hands as they gently grazed her own-taking extreme care not to place too much pressure on her burned flesh. She could feel his fingers shaking which told her he was laughing…The brat. Her protégé had returned a few hours ago from the outer edges of Safe Haven-he'd been delivering food to the people that were too old or too handicapped to acquire food from the market themselves. He'd borrowed Horatio and Onteel as pack mules for the delivery job.
Just recently they'd all returned-and now the teenage earthbender, the were-jaguars, Toph, and Lady Grey were all piled in one room discussing the events of the last 24 hours. Aang was in a separate area of the estate resting, and Azula was finally asleep after venting out all her rage and frustration on Toph. Eventually-the princess fell asleep in her arms, and Toph had deposited her into her futon.
After making sure Azula was fine, Toph invested her time in seeking out Lady Grey to talk. The masked monarch was easy to find, and had welcomed Toph's intrusion. Clearly Lady Grey could not sleep either. Navaro arrived in a timely manner not too long after she did. Then Toph was forced to inform them both of the long night she had. She'd gone to painstaking lengths to describe the last 24 hours to them. Navaro and Lady Grey had to be updated about Azula's condition after all. However, she made the mistake of telling them everything that had happened the previous night, and Navaro had been teasing her mercilessly ever since. She'd been considering mauling him for the past twenty minutes.
"It's not funny." She scowled in his direction, yanking her hand away from him. The quick motion made her wince, and she cradled her injured hand in her lap
"Toph, she burned you…then she cuddled with you. That's funny." He said, his tone lively and unrepentant. Her fingers twitched as she imagined them encircling around his scrawny neck. She'd never seen her protégé so she wasn't sure what he looked like, or how his body was structured, but his voice was youthful and energetic-belying his years. He reminded her of an overgrown child, which made her think he was thin…and easy to throttle.
Lady Grey chuckled softly at his words. "It is kind of amusing. You're not exactly a cuddler, General."
"I hate you both." Toph grumbled, tucking her burned hand in the folds of her black clothing to hide the mangled appendage. Despite her growing frustration with her friends, they made a valid point. Azula had done something distinctly out of character, and so had she. Toph was a firm believer in self sufficiency. She believed every awful insidious thing ever endured, had to be endured with tenacity. To her that meant-you didn't cry, you didn't wallow in depression, you didn't break down: You accepted your circumstances, and when they became unbearable you changed them. Nothing irked her more than when someone chose to demurely accept their fate. Only weaklings rolled over submissively and allowed life's downfalls to own them. Only weaklings cracked under the pressure.
That's what Azula was doing.
She was cracking, and for the first time Toph found herself at a loss because despite any misconceptions she might have of the princess- Azula wasn't weak. The princess was many things; deceitful, manipulative, and cruel were just some of the words that could be used to characterize her- but she wasn't weak.
Azula had lost her home in the Fire Nation.
She'd lost Mai.
She'd lost Ty Lee.
She'd lost any claim to her throne, and any form of kinship she had with her brother and Uncle.
And then to further complicate things, she'd just lost the one thing that solidified her, that made her Azula-she'd lost the ability to fight. Even though they shared a murky history, Toph couldn't fault her for how she was feeling right now.
Azula was hurting.
That's why last night, when the vindictive princess tried to lash out, Toph had intercepted her. She protected her from herself. She held her. Toph discarded everything she stood for, and comforted a woman who hated her, and she didn't regret it. She couldn't regret it, because for some reason-Toph could hear the faintest echoes of herself in Azula. If Toph had been placed in a similar position as the broken princess-if she had lost the ability to fight-she'd be devastated.
Azula was devastated.
And that's what Toph remembered about last night. She remembered the princess' fury-she remembered the scalding heat as Azula's flame ate at the flesh of her hands, and she remembered the princess' fabricated attitude dissolving into defeated sobs.
"I couldn't very well tell her to suck it up." Toph said finally, a tinge of annoyance coloring her tone. "Kei said she might never truly be able to firebend again. No amount of training is going to fix that, and finding out about Zuko's decision regarding Ty Lee did not help her at all."
The easy going atmosphere deteriorated. Tension filled the air, and Toph shifted as she felt her comrades exchange grave glances. "General," Lady Grey's soothing voice washed over the room, and Toph hummed in acknowledgment. "Azula has been here a little more than a week, and she's been dealing with one traumatic experience after another…how much more can she take of this?"
Toph frowned, her lips thinning in a line.
"I don't know." She responded truthfully.
Personally, she believed that Azula had the capacity to deal with every harrowing experience that threatened to devour her, but the princess had already been pushed past her limit. She'd endured death, heartache, and inconsolable grief. Asking her to endure much more might push her over the edge and despite what the princess would have them believe-she wasn't invulnerable.
"She's going to need an iron will in order to reach full recovery." Lady Grey remarked, and Toph heard the slight edge to her tone. Even now, the masked monarch was vying for Azula's life. For some inexplicable reason, she wanted the princess to get better, and she wanted Azula to have a future.
Toph found herself reluctantly mirroring that desire.
Azula deserved more than this.
"I don't know if her will is still intact." Navaro observed quietly, his words startling the two women. "She's strong, but I think part of her followed Bane to the grave, and what's left of her might not be able to survive the road ahead of her." The teenager finished on a contemplative note.
It was amazing how insightful he was despite his age.
"The boy has a point." Toph sent her protégé an appraising look. She was proud of his perceptiveness. Even though she couldn't see him, she was very aware of how astute he was. This was just another example of his bright intuitive nature. He had no qualms about voicing his opinion either.
She'd trained him so well.
"Well she's going to have to acclimate, because she can't stay the way she is…" Lady Grey mused out loud, and Toph felt a slight mistruth in her words. Azula could stay the way she was, but she wouldn't truly be living. She'd exist. She'd fit in the category as a living, breathing human-but she wouldn't exhibit any of the characteristics that defined a human being. Humans were driven by pride, by foolishness, by love, by lust, by desire, by pure hard headed stupidity-but what drove Azula? Why wasn't she dead? It wasn't for lack of trying, because death had brushed the princess so many times, one would think she was impervious to its embrace.
"I don't know what you expect from her." Toph shook her head at Lady Grey. "She's lost everything, and in any other circumstance she could survive on pride alone. However, in light of Kei's news, I don't know how long she's going to last. She'd have been less horrified if we chopped off both her arms and sent her on her merry way."
"What am I supposed to do General, put her out of her misery?" Lady Grey's voice resonated sharply in the room, bouncing angrily off the walls.
"I'm not saying that. I'm saying she might never recover, and that your expectations for her are too high. Even if we can nurse her back to full health, Azula won't thank us. She'll just become a more formidable enemy to look out for. She doesn't want our help Lady, and frankly-it's naïve to think she's going to change a lifetime of cruelty and hatred just because we helped her." Toph reasoned, her hands clenching into fists that she held loosely at her sides.
They were at an impasse it seemed.
Toph wasn't backing down.
Lady Grey was just as stubborn.
Silence ensued between them, and the blind earthbender's expression remained resolute. The more time she spent with Azula the less inclined she was to believe that the princess was all evil. In her own way, Azula was traumatized by Ty Lee's death. Someone that was completely evil didn't shed tears for someone else. Someone that was completely evil didn't crave to be held, and spend a whole night curled into a ball sobbing.
There was more to princess than just the surface interpretation of her.
Azula was an enigma.
"Are you scared of her?" Navaro's voice cut through the silence with all the precision of a blade.
Toph had almost forgotten that her student was here. He'd been unusually silent for the last few minutes.
"Scared of Azula?" She asked, just to be sure she understood his question.
"Yes. Are you?" He replied, his tone deceptively curious. He was trying to catch her off guard. Was he digging for a specific answer?
Was she scared of Azula?
An odd feeling welled up in her chest at the question. In the past she'd been worried because calamity followed the princess everywhere and she didn't want to lose any of her friends. Now she was concerned for the same reason, but was she personally afraid of Azula? No. Did she trust her? No. Did she want her to stay like this?
No…
"Please, I could never be afraid of that princess." Toph grinned, more than confidant in herself.
"I am." Lady Grey's voice was subdued as she admitted her fears to the two earthbenders. It was a stifling reminder for Toph to contain her ego. She may not fear Azula but that was because her own dealings with the princess differed from her companions. "She's of Ozai's line. Every bender from that family is capable of immense destruction, and Azula has so much of that man in her. Even if he dies in the Firelord's prison he's going to live on in her."
Navaro snorted, and Toph could imagine her student's cross expression. "I don't think Azula's like him."
"No?" Lady Grey asked, her tone wry and a tad amused.
Toph's protégé chuckled. "No, I think she's more dangerous than her father. She has the potential to do anything."
Lady Grey sighed disparagingly. "You would enjoy that immensely. I know you two revel in a challenge, but let's just pretend she's on our side. We don't want to fight her."
"I don't know if we have a choice." Toph mused quietly, and her fingers traced over the scorched flesh of her hands. "Even if she aligned herself with us…all she knows how to do is burn people. Even crippled, she still presents a legitimate threat to Safe Haven the longer we have her here.
"Even Bane admitted that." Navaro murmured.
Lady Grey was quiet, but her silence was purposeful and thoughtful. When she spoke her reply was eloquent, and passionate. "Bane understood Azula's capacity to hurt people. She understood Azula's nature better than any of us, and yet she died for her. There must be something in the princess worth preserving-something in her that deserves protecting otherwise Bane died for nothing."
"No," Navaro gently rebuked the masked monarch. "Azula may not know why Bane died for her, but we all know the truth."
Toph remembered the bubbly woman's tears when she heard of Azula's impending death. She remembered the reverent awe Ty Lee exhibited whenever Azula's name was mentioned. She remembered the broken quality to her voice whenever the acrobat recalled Azula's condition in prison.
"She died for love." Toph finished her student's thought, and her burned hands balled into clenched fists. "That doesn't make Azula a good person."
"No, but Bane loved her for a reason: She lived for her, she died for her, she defined herself by Azula. If the princess is capable of inciting that type of loyalty in the people around her-then don't you think there's more to her than what we're seeing right now?"
Toph huffed "I don't see anything." She reminded the masked monarch, her tone dry and unamused. However, the feel of Azula's frail form cradled in her arms as the princess dissolved into heart wrenching sobs stayed with her. The texture of Azula's silken strands of hair made her fingers tingle in remembrance, as she recalled stroking the broken woman's head.
There was more to Azula than any of them realized.
Maybe Ty Lee was onto something.
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Azula roused from her slumber, slipping uneasily into the waking world. Slowly but surely she garnered control of her disjointed limbs, and managed to sit up-keenly aware of how exhausted she felt. Her throat was parched. Her lips were dry and cracked. Her eyes were bloodshot from hours of sobbing until she had finally collapsed. Her body had succumbed to the emotional strain, and against her will crumpled into a devastated heap. She'd curled into that woman…that accursed earthbender, and sought comfort from her.
It was disgraceful.
Not once in her entire existence had anyone been privy to her tears. Her pain was hers, and hers alone to endure. She didn't need people with their trite reassurances: Everything is going to be okay. It all heals in time. There's always a new day. The sun shines the brightest just after a storm.
All lies.
Nothing more than meaningless sounds that passed through their lips to fill the silence.
Words meant absolutely nothing to her now.
They were worthless.
Powerless.
Just like she was.
Ironically, the blind earthbender hadn't said anything to that effect. Azula was expecting some derogatory names, and a few curses for losing control of herself and breaking down, for being weak in that insufferable woman's presence. She wasn't expecting to be held, or comforted. It irked her when people didn't react the way she expected them to, and the Avatar's earthbending master was constantly surprising her. No one had ever taken such a familiar stance with her. People revered her. They were petrified of her. They did not empathize with her.
They didn't stroke her head, and wipe her tears away.
They didn't stay with her till she fell asleep, and put her in their futon.
They just didn't…
But Toph did.
And she couldn't fathom why.
No one was acting as she expected them to. Lady Grey, whoever she was, treated her kindly with the utmost respect. She didn't dictate anything to her-simply allowed her to make her own choices regardless of the history she shared with her allies. Her companion and fellow ruler, the infamous General doted on her: made sure she had food, and water and never treated her like an invalid. The blind earthbender was just one of several enigmas she couldn't comprehend.
Toph didn't ostracize her from the world, nor did she attempt to make Azula miserable like the princess would have done had their roles been reversed. Instead the earthbender strove to rebuild her. She pushed her to see her infirmity, and in doing so learn what strengths she still had.
Azula hated her for it.
She had lived under the illusion she was flawless-that she was the embodiment of perfection for so long that accepting she was not invulnerable, and accepting that she had viable weaknesses was killing her.
Examining herself in the harsh light of day- Azula found one truth to be inescapable-one truth to be absolute: She was only human. Despite the misguided hubris she'd governed her life by she couldn't walk on water. She didn't own the world, and she couldn't break the laws of human nature.
She'd come to accept these chilling facts.
She was slowly coming to terms with being flawed and limited.
What she couldn't accept, what she refused to accept was this new state she found herself in. Even without Toph's aid, Azula was starting to see just how broken she was. Every part of her that used to cinch together perfectly was now in chaotic disarray. The same inherent cruelty that helped steady her, that helped mold her hardly surfaced anymore. Her logic frequently deserted her. She regularly found herself overwhelmed with emotions over the simplest tasks.
She felt so unbalanced…
What really tripped her up though, wasn't the poor grasp she had on her emotions-no the real bonus was, in all of this madness she had so little control-so little power-that she could practically feel herself getting dependant on the people around her. With every passing day she could feel herself getting more comfortable with Toph, and Lady Grey, and even that stripling earthbender-Navaro.
She'd grown accustomed to seeing them.
Hearing them.
Arguing with them.
And it had only been a week and a half since her arrival.
She cursed her weakness. For a fraction of a second, she could admit that it felt nice to have people to rely on again: For a fraction of a second she could admit that being here wasn't horrible and she needed the help. For a fraction of a second she could even admit that she was terrified of the future.
Then that second passed, and reality crashed into her hard.
Ozai had groomed her to be relentless.
She didn't need any of these people.
Her lip curled back in disgust, and her clenched fist slammed against the edge of her pillow. She flinched as her bare knuckles grazed the edge of the battered journal hidden beneath it.
"You were my princess 'Zula…No one can take what's yours by birth."
Her breath hitched in her throat, and Azula closed her eyes.
She didn't need Ty Lee either.
She never had.
But Agni, did she want her around…
The traitorous thought ghosted across the surface of her mind before she could stop it, and the princess took a shaky breath. Ty Lee was gone, as was Mai. Anyone that had any relevance to her life was gone. Unconsciously, her hand slid under the pillow, gripping the edge of the journal and pulling it out. She traced the battered edge with her fingers, an absentminded expression on her face.
Even her mother's absence hadn't eviscerated her heart like this.
For the first time Azula found herself aching for people that weren't here.
"Someone just kill me now." She grumbled, completely done with these conflicting thoughts and emotions. Grief, raw and unparalleled laced through her limbs and Azula simply closed her eyes, accepting the barrage of emotions gracefully. Her pride dictated that she disregard these baseless feelings. They had no worth, and only served to further weaken her.
She couldn't ignore them though.
She was too exhausted.
For the first time in years she looked exactly how she felt: like absolute hell.
She was too tired to try and discern what the correct course would be, what path wouldn't ruin her, and what path would guide her through this mess…
Times were so much simpler when she had the upper hand.
The world wasn't spinning out of control then.
Tiredly, she opened the journal to where she left off the day before, her eyes eagerly drinking in Ty Lee's familiar scrawl. She needed a distraction, and the journal had already proved to be a welcome one. It was…enlighting.
Azula you won't believe the strings Suki managed to pull. She had Zuko privatize an airship for me so I can come visit you once a week…I believe his words were something along the lines of "I believe you can help my sister with her agitated mental state." He doesn't know you very well does he 'Zula?"
#$% $^ #$%&*&(*&(&*$%% Q#$ %#$^% & $#%$% ^$%&^%& #$%
Ty Lee walked down the eerie hallway, every subsequent step making sound bounce off the walls in a cacophony of dissonant noise meant to terrify anyone that walked down this long row of cells. Zuko really did want to dissuade people from visiting Azula-not that there were many that dared to check up on the princess. Azula didn't really appreciate visitors.
Not that Ty Lee's self preservation instincts were intact anyways.
When it came to Azula she was helpless.
She had to see her- she had to know she was okay-no matter what the cost to herself was.
And associating with the former princess always came at a high price.
Azula's moods were always tumultuous. They shifted like the ebb and flow of the tide and had to be ridden out like a storm. Ty Lee, after years of grinning in the combative woman's presence, could boast that she was an expert on all things Azula. She knew her better than she knew herself.
Azula wasn't keen on people, but she needed them.
If Ty Lee didn't visit her, the princess would continue to crumble.
It was with that thought she entered Azula's hellish abode, hoping that she would be met with something besides those same emotionless amber eyes. As always the stench was the first, and worst thing she had to endure. The guards had yet to thoroughly clean Azula's cell, and she wondered if they ever would. She supposed their mind functioned differently than hers, since her thoughts always orbited around Azula. The princess was her sun. She needed her the same way she needed air.
They didn't though.
Azula's caretakers didn't need her-nor did they want her.
Azula was just a problem to them.
"Hey 'Zula." She greeted the darkness softly knowing the crazed monarch could hear her behind the bars of her prison. Shallow scrapes against the stone floor signaled the princess was moving, and a second later Ty Lee saw that same icy gaze that ruled her world, slowly perusing the confines of the jail cell. She inhaled sharply when that predatory gaze came to rest upon her, piercing her soul, unearthing all her secrets, and casually measuring her in one distant glare.
The princess said nothing.
Not a word-not a syllable left her mouth.
Ty Lee had expected the resentful silence. Azula still thought she was a traitor, and in way she had ruined the bond of trust between them. In Azula's mind, she'd picked Mai and her brother over her. She'd changed sides, and done so with the same eternal grin that defined her. Ty Lee always had a reason to smile, whether it was because of Azula, or because she was too scared to feel anything else. Hiding behind playful grins, and light hearted giggles was her way of surviving. It was her perfect mask, and right now Ty lee couldn't stomach wearing it.
She cleared her throat awkwardly, a solemn expression etched on her face. "Hey 'Zula, remember when we were kids and we went to the Fire Nation Academy together? Before we met Mai? You punched me when we met, and after that I kept following you around…" Her gaze misted over as the familiar memories surfaced.
It seemed like ages ago.
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10 years ago
An eight year old Ty Lee sat on a rock, her feet kicking restlessly through the air. Every few moments her gaze would slide across the street to where Azula was practicing her Fire Kata's a look of absolute concentration on her face, before shooting back to the ground where she kicked up large clouds of dust. She didn't want to stare too long. If Azula caught her looking it would put her in a mood again. She couldn't help it though. To be honest, the look was kinda cute on the princess, although it intimidated the rest of the kids. Ty Lee giggled to herself, her lips curving upward into a smile.
She'd been doggedly following Azula around for the past two weeks, just for fun. The princess was in her class at the Fire Nation academy, so it was inevitable that they would see each other. Ty Lee went out of her way to spend time with her after class though too and relentlessly tried to get in the firebender's head.
Azula found her efforts to be pointless and told Ty Lee to piss off…
Every day.
Sometimes every hour.
Still the acrobat-in-training trailed after her, determined to make friends with her.
It was a long and painful process, and every time she managed to get the princess to speak to her-Azula managed to finish the conversation by saying something acidic, her voice dripping with sarcasm, or she left Ty Lee with a new and colorful bruise or a third degree burn.
She'd learned a few things though:
She learned that Azula's father was not a nice man. He trained Azula till the princess was beyond the point of exhaustion, and even then he still pushed her.
Azula was expected to accomplish every task given to her efficiently, and she must be perfect in her execution.
She learned that Azula herself, had her fair amount of bruises and scars.
She learned that Azula had a brother that couldn't measure up to her.
She also learned that Azula's mother thought she was a monster.
Actually, Azula's mother was a sore subject for her, and was the main reason Ty Lee had acquired so many wounds over the last two weeks. She was insufferably curious, and wouldn't stop pushing for information.
Ty Lee's most recent collection of injuries were hidden beneath the several intricate layers of her Academy uniform. The confining clothing was uncomfortable, and when she shifted it caught against her wounds and made her inhale sharply. For the most part she was almost healed but there was still one mark on her arm that was an angry red color.
It throbbed each time the silk casually brushed against it and Ty Lee found herself hiding winces regularly.
It was a constant reminder of how volatile the Crown princess was.
Ty Lee couldn't bring herself to stay away from her though. There was something about Azula that just drew her in. She was unlike anyone Ty Lee had ever seen before, and even though the princess was only eight herself, she exuded confidence, and a grace that no child should possess.
Simply put, Azula's presence was addicting.
Her gaze trailed over to the princess again, and her smile grew wider.
"Hey you!"
Ty Lee blinked owlishly, drawn out of her Azula centered reverie. Her head whipped around looking for whoever was speaking. She paused in kicking up dust, as her gaze came to linger on a boy who appeared to be her age. He was tall and wiry, and his eyes were locked angrily on her face.
"Yes?" She asked, chuckling, as further inspection of his appearance allowed her to see a thin layer of dust covering his uniform. He was covered in dirt.
Did she do that?
"You just kicked a bunch of dirt at me." He said his voice low and petulant. He crossed his arms indignantly in front of him, and Ty Lee struggled not to laugh at him again. Apparently she did do that. Stifling a giggle she agilely leapt off her rock landing lightly on her feet in front of him.
"Sorry about that." She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.
"No you're not." He scowled, and before she realized he'd moved he was shoving her hard. She winced as her back slammed into the rock she'd been sitting on, and she hissed in pain as her arm protested violently at the abuse. She ducked out of the way as he continued to assault her, a fist slamming into the wall where her head had been seconds previously. Eyes wide she flew into a flip dodging past him, just like she'd been training to do for the last few weeks and landed shakily on her feet.
"What's your problem?" She panted, her hands shaking at her sides. She'd never been in a fight before. She was keenly aware of a crowd gathering around them, and suddenly the angry boy had friends. At least three other boys with dark beady eyes flanked him, and Ty Lee took a step back, but found her path blocked by the crowd.
Her heart hammered wildly against her chest.
She was well trained in the art of dodging. She was flexible, and fast, but she'd just started learning which pressure points could incapacitate an opponent. She was being trained, but none of the moves she knew were good for battle, and with the crowd edging closer the space she could maneuver in to dodge was extremely limited.
Her mouth suddenly felt dry, and she wondered idly if she could dodge these three boys until they got tired and left her alone.
These stupid people were so attuned violence they were gonna get her killed!
She blinked as the first boy that she kicked dust on suddenly dove at her. She tensed and her head fell back letting his wild swing pass over her. She felt the air rush by her face, and a small yelp escaped her as fire arched from his fist this time. The scent of singed hair filled the street, as some of her bangs flaked to the ground. She watched morosely as they hit the pavement before artfully dodging the next swing by leaping high into the air while tucking her knees to her chest and letting a scalding barrage of flame scorch the streets below her.
The crowd of kids cheered wildly as she fell unsteadily to the ground, safe from the flames that would have left long jagged burns along her legs. She wasn't safe from the other two boys that decided to finally join the fight though. Ty Lee blinked her eyes darting left and right as they came at her from both sides. She clenched her fists helplessly. She couldn't dodge them both-so she was going to have to take a hit.
Bracing herself, she twisted away from one plume of flame shooting towards her, narrowly missing the fire fanning out next to her and held her arms high to protect herself from the second attack. She closed her eyes expecting to feel some of her flesh scorched away, and was shocked a minute later when she felt…nothing?
She lowered her arms and glanced warily around.
What just happened?
Her mouth dropped open as the scene in front of her registered to her stunned brain. Azula was standing over the second attacker, her foot pressed into his throat. Her hand was held directly above his face and an azure flame hovered just above her palm, licking her fingers.
"Tsk tsk," Azula admonished, pressing down on the boy's larynx. His eyes popped out and he gurgled breathlessly, clawing at the boot suffocating him. "I think you overreacted." She mused shaking her head, whilst ignoring his struggles. "I mean…Don't get me wrong-Ty Lee's as annoying as they get, but if you're going to fight her-you fight her. Having your entire posse gang up on her…" She shook her head in disappointment. "That's pathetic."
The boy who had started this whole mess stepped forward, his attention no longer on Ty Lee. He glared daggers at Azula, who had yet to release his captured companion. "This has nothing to do with you princess-stay out of it."
Ty Lee gaped at him.
Did he just snap at Azula?
Oh, dear.
Judging from her annoyed expression the same thought had just flickered across Azula's mind. Casually, the eight year old princess removed her boot from the boy's throat, and with a terrifying calm began walking towards her antagonist. The newly released boy gasped, inhaling huge lungfuls of air, and sniffled a bit as he tried to hold back tears.
"Wrong, peasant." Azula sneered, her tone testy and condescending. "She is my business. Just like you're my business. I'm the Crown princess of the Fire Nation. Everything here is my business, and if I say you're being a spineless coward, and making the Fire Nation look bad-than that's exactly what you are." By this time Azula was within arm's reach of the boy, and he had shrunken into himself at her words-his eight year old ego completely deflated. Azula's impenetrable gaze never left him though, and she leaned in her tone low and threatening. "And if I catch you…Or your disgusting friends ever doing this again I will end you. Are we clear?"
He nodded quickly, a sick expression creeping across his face.
"Good." She drawled and waved him off lazily. "Run along now…go play with your dolls or something."
The boy was off like a shot, and his friends quickly took off after him. The one Azula traumatized had a small limp and trailed quietly behind them. The princess shook her head in amusement. Slowly she turned to look at the crowd that was still watching her, jaws ajar. They couldn't believe how callous the princess was. She'd threatened those boys with no regard for Fire Nation law or etiquette all for the sake of appearances?
She quirked a questioning brow at the crowd. "Leave." Azula demanded.
And just like that the kids began finding other things to do. They dissembled almost immediately, drifting off down the street in search of their parents, or other things to occupy themselves with.
That left Ty Lee alone with Azula.
She wasn't sure what to do or say now…
Azula didn't wait for her to gather her scattered thoughts though. She took control of the situation like always, and turned to glare at her. Ty Lee stiffened as those penetrating amber pools enthralled her. "You have got to be the most bothersome creature I've ever met." The princess observed coolly, a hint of annoyance coloring her tone.
Ty Lee smiled tentatively. "Sorry?"
Azula studied her a moment longer before exhaling noisily. "I don't understand you."
Ty Lee blinked, and tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?" She asked, completely befuddled by her most recent actions and her declaration.
"Those boys, they were easy to understand. So are the kids at the school, and the teachers. They're scared of me because my father's the Firelord and I have the power to ruin them. Why aren't you? I've burned and bruised you who knows how many times, and you still insist on following me, and smiling all the time. What's wrong with you?" Azula asked bluntly, frustration making her voice come out harsh, and unforgiving.
Ty Lee's smile thinned into one long line as she thought about Azula's question. Why wasn't she scared of her? Maybe her instincts were broken…She bit her lip, and glanced up at the princess who was still staring at her expectantly. "You said it yourself…you're the Crown princess. You're responsible for me, right? Should I be scared of you?"
"Yes. You should." Azula intoned darkly, her face blank.
Ty Lee grinned brightly.
"But if I'm scared of you, we can't be friends." She protested, unable to keep the horror out of her voice. She really wanted to be Azula's friend.
"I don't want friends." Azula threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. Fed up with her, the princess turned and began to walk away. Ty Lee hummed thoughtfully, surprised at the vehement protest from the princess. Who doesn't want friends? She thought about everything she'd learned about Azula in the last couple of weeks, and she concluded that the only people who didn't want friends were the ones that didn't have any.
That made the decision for her. Giggling she ran up beside Azula so they were walking side by side.
"You may not want any, but I do. You're stuck with me."
Azula glanced sideways at her, her expression cold and measuring before she turned away with an unhappy snort. "Agni help us all."
"This is going to be fun." Ty Lee cheered.
"Not if you keep babbling-it won't. This is could have been avoided if I let him pummel your face in."
Ty Lee couldn't help but smile at the ornery response.
Grumpy Azula was cute too.
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She finished talking, the memory seamlessly falling back into the darkest crevices of her brain. Sometime during the retelling of her story, Azula's attention had focused entirely on her. The princess wasn't impressed it seemed by ancient history, and although her eyes were attentive, her expression was bored.
Finally after an eternity of silence, the former princess spoke.
"You came back." Azula's voice was hollow, lacking virility.
Ty Lee winced at the dead tone. She was looking for a different reaction, but she would take whatever she could get. "I did." She whispered quietly, her gaze drawn to Azula's spindly form as the former princess detached herself from the shadows. Azula looked terrible-underfed, undernourished, and physically exhausted. Every move cost the princess an inane amount of effort and her shoulders sagged with fatigue. Beneath her eyes heavy bruises signified just how little Azula cared about rest, and rejuvenating herself.
Agni help her.
Her best friend was wasting away in this little prison cell while she flourished in Kyoshi Island.
Ty Lee shifted uneasily in her acrobat uniform, suddenly finding the bright pink attire inappropriate. It almost felt like she was taunting the princess with her freedom, and her cheeks flushed with guilt and shame. Everything she did managed to torture Azula in some way…
"I thought I told you to leave." The princess reminded her flatly, clearly unable to divine Ty Lee's reason for suddenly appearing in front of her cell.
"You did." Ty Lee murmured, twining her fingers together nervously as she sat in front of the cage.
"And not come back." Azula expanded on her earlier dismissal, sending Ty Lee a look so cold it made her heart stop. For a second the acrobat could do nothing but fiddle with her fingers, and become lost in the amber pools admonishing her. Azula herself, wasn't very expressive but her eyes always clued someone in to exactly how she was feeling, and right now the harsh severity in that gaze was enough to curb her enthusiasm for being here.
"You might have mentioned that." Ty Lee responded carefully. She was trying to not to antagonize Azula. Not today. Not now.
Her efforts were in vain though because a second later-a frustrated hiss left the princess' lips. "Then why are you here again?"
Ty Lee thought about it for a minute.
A small, sad, smile graced her features.
"I'm here because you're my princess Azula. You're stuck with me, remember?"
Ty Lee let her absorb this, and although it was a subtle, a small change shifted across the princess' face. For a minute her expression smoothed, and the animalistic edge darkening her gaze melted away. Azula looked almost coherent. Her eyes were bright and the lines in her face were gone. Long auburn tresses haloed her face in matted tangles of hair, and Ty Lee watched completely mystified as Azula tore through the haze fogging her mind.
For a minute, Azula was completely lucid.
Achingly familiar amber eyes turned toward her, studying her in the same invasive penetrating way only Azula could. It was a stark reminder of the old days when Azula looked invincible. Awed and humbled at the change, Ty Lee stumbled over to the bars of the cage-her legs suddenly feeling like jelly.
"Azula.." She rasped, her voice wistful and yearning as her hands closed around the metal bars separating them.
Azula blinked at the sound of her name, tilting her head to the side like Ty Lee had just switched languages, falling into another dialect.
Then with stunning clarity, the princess opened her mouth, uttering three simple words that would haunt Ty Lee for years to come.
"I hate you."
*( $* &03498 #$ $% % #%$^#$&^ ^7 #% #(Journal entry end)
"I dunno Azula…I think of all things you've said to me, that is what stuck with me the longest. It was easy to go with the flow when you said something about my clothes, or when you insulted my intelligence. I could handle that because it was you…I could handle anything from you 'Zula, but I couldn't handle you hating me…it hurt far too much.
Azula snapped the journal shut with a soft click.
She remembered that incident.
She found the found the acrobat's presence unbearable at the time.
She was just so…sick of hearing about the past. When she was in that cell, the last thing she wanted to remember was her childhood. Her history was by no means pleasant, but it was better than rotting in her own waste any day. She didn't have the patience to listen to, what seemed to be a fairy tale.
Those times were gone.
Although, looking back…having Ty Lee around made things easier.
Grunting softly, she rubbed her throbbing temple.
"I see you're still reading."
Surprise rippled across her features before she could stop it. When did Toph get here? Once again her senses were not functioning the way they were supposed to. She didn't even hear the earthbender enter the room. Frowning at her own inattentiveness she slipped the journal back under her pillow, so she could finish reading its contents at a later date.
"You can't see." She pointed out rudely, hoping the earthbender would just leave. Her gaze became even more wary as the were-jaguar from before trotted into the room, and sat compliantly against his master, staring curiously in Azula's direction.
She wasn't in the mood for this right now.
Toph gasped dramatically, her hands frantically patting over her face. "What? I'm blind?" She mocked surprise, her expression aghast. "My whole life is a lie." She muttered pitifully.
How childish.
To her surprise Azula found her lips cracking upwards into a small unwilling smile before she wiped her face clean of all emotions. She immediately squashed the amused feeling, hating how little control she had of herself.
Toph was stupid.
"What do you want?" She asked churlishly, hoping to drive the woman out of the room. The blunt woman was the last person she wanted to see.
Smirking, the earthbender threaded her fingers through the were-jaguars fur, and Azula watched with narrowed eyes as the beast began to purr happily. "Just checking up that's all, and I need to remind you that Ty Lee's funeral is in two days."
Whatever Azula had been about to say died in her throat.
Funeral and Ty Lee shouldn't even be in the same sentence.
Her hand's clenched in the sheets.
"Fine." Azula said shortly, her tone dismissive.
Toph lingered in the doorway for a second, as if listening for another reaction. When she heard none she sighed quietly and turned to leave the room- Before she even left the threshold Azula's mouth betrayed her, insisting she ask the question on her mind.
"Why did you do that?"
Toph paused in the door frame, and glanced back at Azula her milky green eyes cautious. "Do what?"
Azula rolled her eyes at the feigned ignorance. "Don't play stupid. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
Toph said nothing and closed her eyes, as if weighing the pros and cons of speaking. Finally after sitting in silence for a couple of minutes, just as Azula's impatience was at its end, the blind earthbender spoke.
"I did it because you needed it."
And with that she left the room, leaving Azula alone with her thoughts again.
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After leaving Azula's room, Toph strode down the hallway, Onteel hot on her heels. The beast was always needy after he returned from hanging out with Navaro. She found his clingy-ness endlessly amusing. Just as she found her situation with Azula somewhat amusing, Azula had no idea how to react to her. Clearly, Toph's actions beguiled her, and she found that to be ironic because she was just as confused by the princess.
She was not the same princess she remembered.
She wasn't even the same person.
Or maybe Toph just never knew her.
Come to think of it, no one really did.
Filing that thought away for later, she passed by her room that was still in shambles, and managed to withhold a wince. At some point, she was going to have to fix that. She couldn't keep sleeping in Azula's room. She'd moved her bedroll, and her basic supplies into the princess' room because it was easier to just stay with someone else till she found the time to repair the place Azula had completely destroyed, and Azula was the obvious choice because she was supposed to be looking out for the princess anyways.
Finally arriving at her destination, she knocked on a stone door, and a second later the earth blocking her path shifted, and disappeared into the ground, leaving an opening for her to walk through.
"Hey Twinkle Toes." She greeted her old friend who yawned sleepily in response.
He was only half-awake.
The flight to Safe Haven had completely wiped him and Appa out.
However, that didn't stop him from using Shindoku, and telling her he needed to speak to her later. She had listened to the words as he tapped them out against the wall, before hearing him slump into his futon—succumbing to fatigue. Over the years her hearing had improved, and now she was privy to all sorts of sounds, even if they're far away.
"Hey Toph." He murmured tiredly.
"What's up?" She asked, plopping into the dirt and sitting cross legged, while Aang tried to make himself more coherent. Vying for attention Onteel slithered into her lap and tried to force her to pet him. She ignored him.
"Nothing much…I just needed someone to talk to." He said helplessly.
Mentally, Toph sighed. She hated when he started conversations like this. Usually it meant his morals had been jeopardized, and as much as she loved the dorky monk-his black and white view of the world was hard to work around. He had trouble wrapping his mind around the grey area.
Nothing was simple.
"Well I am here." She said reluctantly.
"I just," He frowned searching for the right words. "Toph, what do you do when you start to doubt the people around you?" He asked, a look of hopeless confusion on his face. Clearly, he'd been agonizing over this question for a long time, and knowing Aang it'd been eating at his conscience for an even longer time.
Toph wondered who exactly he was beginning to doubt: Katara? Zuko? His actions in the Fire Nation capital had helped them free Azula. Aang had finally picked a side, but his heart was too big. Betraying his friends was killing him, and maybe he regretted his actions. Maybe he still thought their old friends were redeemable.
Toph held no such optimism.
Her mind whirled, as she thought of a way to answer his question. "Investigate." She suggested, before elaborating further. "Whoever you're doubting, talk to them. You have to be careful who you surround yourself with, but if they're important to you-talk to them. If they have nothing to hide they won't lie about their intentions." She reasoned.
He absorbed her words quietly.
Meditated on them a second.
A rueful smile crept across his face, and she could hear the laughter in his voice."All this time, and you're still teaching me."
Toph snorted, "You're an airhead. I don't have very high hopes for you." She chuckled.
"Well, what about you? You're a…" He trailed off uncertainly. A minute ticked by, then two.
Toph stared blankly in his direction. "Yes?"
Silence answered her and Toph suppressed an evil smile with effort. "You can't think of anything can you?"
Aang huffed miserably. "You're…a good person?"
Toph laughed, and shook her head in disappointment. "Twinkle Toes you suck at this game."
"Fine fine." He said loftily, and changed the subject. "Enough about me. How's Azula? Is she..better today?" He asked, his tone curious. Of course Aang would ask about her, he was genuinely concerned for her health just like Lady Grey was.
Toph let her fingers drum against her knee as she tried to think of a simple way to answer that. "She's fine, upset still, and hurt-but she's as well as can be expected." Toph forced out a truthful response, Azula's broken voice filtering across her mind.
"…You're really taking her seriously." Aang observed quietly, startling Toph from her train of thought.
"What do you mean?" Her brows furrowed in confusion.
Aang was talking nonsense again.
"I mean, you're making sure she eats and drinks. You stop her from hurting herself. Yesterday you comforted her. I've never seen you so patient with someone before, and it's just odd that Azula's getting that sort of treatment from you because she's always trying to instigate something."
Toph's frown deepened at his words.
"Is that so surprising?" She asked, finally acquiescing to Onteel's unspoken command and stroking the beast's head.
"Uh…yeah." Aang said, his words sounding suspiciously like a "duh."
"Aang, I don't think you understood me before. I told you I look out for everything that's mine. Azula's welfare is my job. It doesn't matter that Ty Lee and Lady Grey are the ones that asked me to take care of her. What matters is that right now, Azula is mine to protect."
Toph's eyes flashed, and a smirk stretched across her face. "Even if it's from herself."
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Finally, this chapter is done, and it took forever because:
I had nosey ass cousins roll into town from Michigan and I chilled with them all week. We saw the Grand Canyon for the first time and I was like….o.o..It's a giant ass hole in the ground-SOMEONE FALL PLEASE. I've lived in Arizona 18 years and never seen the Grand Canyon.
Also, I had an emotional breakdown, that screwed me up for days. I basically got told to get off my lazy arse and do things, by my mother's 40 year old roommate. Yunno when you get a lecture from someone you don't really know and you kind of want to choke them afterwards because they just made a whole bunch of assumptions about you while acting like their shit doesn't stink? Yeah…He said I'm not doing anything with my life. I'm wasting my potential. I'm only 18- so I don't know shit and I haven't experienced anything. I was like DUDE you're leeching off my mom and sleeping on her fucking couch. You treat her like crap, and she's supposedly your best friend. Why in god's name would I want advice from you? And for your information jack ass, I'm going to college and getting a job which is more than your doing. What else do you expect me to do?...He actually told me to go find the cure to cancer, and I walked out and took a five mile walk after that. :/
Oh yeah, and I got distracted because an author I respect immensely story alerted this fic- I swear to god I did a happy dance when I saw the email xD
But yeah, as for reviews:
Blue Lion: You're right, I've been avoiding getting a betareader, even though I need one. I'm usually fine with plot ideas and making the sentences flow, but in areas like punctuation and grammar, I fail. Terribly. I haven't gotten a beta yet because I dislike having to bounce the chapter back and forth and not getting it uploaded when I want to, but that's just me being impatient. I can sacrifice a day or two to send it off to someone if it will improve the quality of the fic. A fresh eye does help :) And as for what you said about Azula, no worries there will be no miracles in this story. Everyone's gonna work for what they get, and you really spent 3 days analyzing the last chapter? Lol do you realize how many chapters are left? xD And thank you for the list. I'm thinking once I'm done with this story I'll go back and revise everything. That way I can shoot out the chapters while my muse is still working.
Toxiclynne- Ah, I see your point. However, the idea behind Katara telling Aang that story wasn't to get pity, or to have him empathize with her. He wanted to know why she changed. She told him. That's all, and Aang is different than the rest of the Avatar characters because his position as Avatar puts him in a place where he's expected to be powerful. That gives him a certain amount of obligation. Because he has the most power the crafters of ATLA made him more morally upstanding than the rest of the Avatar crew. His reaction to his home being taken away is respectable, but I've seen grief break people. Everyone responds differently, and very few people handle loss like Aang did. So yes the other characters are angsty, and channeling their feelings in a negative way, but it's normal, and as for Zuko if you think about him and Azula grew up under completely different conditions. He had all of his mother's love, while Azula had her fathers. They both were the golden children to different parents. Zuko was…lucky to be honest. He thinks he got the short end of the stick though.
Icuras- Thanks xD
Arcus Iris- lol well…here's another 24 pages like you asked xD and no Toph's not gonna be an odd rebound for Azula. But it's not gonna be a normal relationship beginning either.
Felur-I'll try to keep Zuko from appearing to be a tyrant, because he's not meant to be. He's just…lost, and his view on the world is completely skewed…from things you all will find out later xD And yes, I actually do have a relatively happy ending in mind, but it's kinda far away.
Milvurox- Azula's not gonna be broken forever. Eventually, she'll make a comeback.
And okay, that's the end of that. Next chapter coming in a bit. Let me know what you all think.