A/N: Sorry for the looooong hiatus! It's the longest it's been, but I'm sorry to say that updates will be less frequent these days, since it's getting a little crazy at work. But the story is still going strong, and I still have plenty of chapters planned out for Seth and Blair, so stay tuned for updates.
Also, I wanted to make it clear that I will not keep throwing things at the duo to try to keep them apart, and will not force them to continue going back and forth without any developments to their relationship. It was one of the things I really hated about how GG writers had handled Chuck and Blair's relationship, so I promise you that it's not what I'm doing here. Rest assured that the two will get some good moments together before the next bomb drops. Until then, enjoy it while it lasts! Another big Dair reference in this one for the fans!
Blair waited impatiently in her bedroom, hastily flipping through her W magazine. It had been a week since Chuck had made his appearance in Newport, and it seemed safe to say that he was gone for good. The wreckage he made, however, was a different story. Seeing Seth at school still made for some awkward times, and they barely spoke to each other outside of necessary conversations during drama class. She briefly contemplated about calling him to end the cold war, but didn't like the idea that she'd be the one to give in so early on in the relationship. After all, it was him who blew a huge hissy fit after Blair told him she didn't like his comic books. She was just being honest. Blair threw the magazine aside and rested her chin in her hands, feeling bored.
Just as her thoughts began drifting towards the idea of calling Seth again, the doorbell rang. Blair eagerly raced down the stairs, waiting for Dorota to open the front door.
"Serena!" Blair called out, rushing to meet her best friend. Serena van der Woodsen stepped through Blair's door, revealing her long, slender legs. Blair's chauffeur could be seen behind her, hauling her suitcase. "Thank you. We'll take it from here," she said to him, handing him a small tip. She hardly had a use for a chauffeur these days in Newport, but he still came in handy every once in a while. Dorota closed the door behind Serena, while Blair took a step back to examine her from head to toe. Serena squealed and swept Blair up in a long, warm hug.
"Gosh, it's been forever, B!" Serena said, finally letting go of Blair. "I still can't believe you went back to Newport without letting me know last time! We were supposed to spend the weekend together." Serena reached out to touch Blair's hair affectionately.
"Well yeah…I told you I had something urgent to take care of," Blair explained, half-avoiding her glance. The truth was, Blair still hadn't really told Serena about her and Seth. As close as they were, she didn't feel comfortable revealing to her that she had somehow fallen for a total dork. And, since they weren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment anyway, there was nothing to tell. She wrinkled her nose as she looked down at Serena's suitcase. "I thought you were only here for a week – how much did you pack, anyway?"
"Well…since I couldn't convince you to come back to New York for Spring Break, I thought I'd bring New York to you!" Serena dropped down to her knees and unzipped her luggage. "Let's see…I got macarons from Ladurée, an off-menu burger from Gramercy Tavern – sorry if it looks a little rough, hard to find anything that would keep for the flight – red velvet cupcakes from Two Little Red Hens, and some Manet art prints from the Met. I know they're not even close to the real thing, and you prefer canvas, but I thought being around them might cheer you up a little," she told Blair, smiling up at her amongst her pile of gifts.
Blair rustled through the goodies eagerly. "Did you also happen to bring back the entire Bendel's, too?" Blair asked with pleading eyes.
Serena laughed. "Well, I did get you these," she replied, pulling out a pair of Chopard sunglasses. "Thought you'd be needing them in this sort of weather."
The girls took turns modeling the shades and spent the entire afternoon catching up. Serena told her all about the latest gossip on the UES, while Blair listened attentively. Blair was so lost in their conversation that she had almost forgotten about her own drama with Seth and Chuck. Just when Blair was about to suggest going out for dinner, Dorota appeared in the living room where Serena and Blair sat – with Seth Cohen standing behind her. He kept his eyes low, shuffling his feet.
"Miss Blair, I was just going outside to take out trash, and I see Mr. Seth lurking, look suspicious," Dorota explained, "so I ask him come inside. Maybe you two talk and I go clean Miss Blair room." Dorota nodded at Blair and dismissed herself, retreating out of the living room and watching Seth from the corner of her eye.
After an uncomfortable three minutes, Seth finally spoke. "Well, it looks like you're busy with your friend, Blair, so I'll just talk to you another time." He turned on his heels and headed for Blair's door.
"No – stay. It's fine. We were just about to go out for dinner," Serena offered, observing that something had probably gone on between this awkward boy and her best friend. "Blair, why don't you get ready? We can wait for you here while you get dressed."
Blair hesitated, not really knowing how to respond. On one hand, she had wanted to be honest with Serena and to tell her all about her new romance with Seth, but on the other hand, she still had unfinished business with him, and didn't want to spoil her evening with Serena by having to put up with his whininess. She frowned and kept silent, staying exactly where she was.
"Okaaay then, I guess I'll take that as a no," Seth replied, giving Serena a small wave. "It was nice meeting you finally, Serena."
Serena watched for Blair's reaction, refusing to give up. "What did you say your name was?" she asked him with a friendly smile. "I don't think we've formally met before."
It was now Seth's turn to watch Blair, realizing that his name has never come up before in the topic of their discussions. He was unsure whether to laugh or to cry, and cursed himself silently for being so stupid as to show up at her house, uninvited. "I'm Seth – Seth Cohen. It's fine that you don't know me. Nobody knows me. I'm – was – Blair's –"
" – friend. He's my friend," Blair cut in, finishing his sentence for him. She avoided his deep, penetrating brown eyes, and refused to acknowledge the look of hurt on his face.
"Right. I'm Blair's friend," Seth repeated bitterly, looking away.
Serena watched the two of them tentatively, slowly getting up. "I'm sure you've been taking good care of Blair. She's not exactly the easiest person to get along with." Blair glared at her.
Seth nodded a few more times, then waved at them again. This time, he turned away without allowing himself to look back at Blair, and headed straight for her door. Blair and Serena heard the door slam behind him moments later.
"So, are you gonna tell me what's going on?" Serena asked slowly.
Blair gave Serena her best devil-may-care look, and plopped herself on the loveseat. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she responded lightly, pretending to examine her nails as if they were the most interesting things on the planet.
Serena went to sit beside her. "I'm not blind, you know," she pointed out, turning to face Blair, "why did you call him your friend when he clearly isn't?"
Blair turned sharply towards her and met her gaze. "You're right. Seth Cohen is not my friend. In fact, he's just an acquaintance. Now why would someone like me have anything to do with someone like him?" Blair blinked quickly at Serena, as if challenging her to answer.
"Give me a break, Blair. I didn't fly all the way here so you could lie to me. I can spot out your denial from a mile away. You like him. The question is, what was that for?" Serena leaned towards her friend, concerned.
With Serena's honest submission, Blair could no longer contain herself. She collapsed, her head in her hands. "Oh S, I've really screwed things up now!" she cried, rolling back her eyes. "It's not that I didn't want to tell you, it's just that I don't know what to tell! We were great for like, two weeks, and then suddenly Chuck shows up -"
"Wait a minute…Chuck!?" Serena stopped Blair in mid-sentence, confused.
"Yes, Chuck. As in, Chuck Chuck. Anyway, he shows up and now I'm confused, and I don't know what's going to happen between us now," Blair explained, sighing heavily.
"Oh Blair," Serena shook her head at her, "I thought you were over that."
"Oh God, no. It's not because I have feelings for that Basshole, it's just that…well, seeing him just made me remember who I was – who I am," Blair said emphatically. "He may be a total ass, but what he said was right. I'll never be able to change who I am, and the person I am is lightyears away from who Seth is."
"And who's that? What makes you think that you two won't be able to work it out?"
Blair looked at Serena seriously, trying to collect her thoughts. "Seth – he's…he's just Seth. He's this comic book geek that likes to spend time skateboarding and listening to emo music and gives anecdotes about his Bar Mitzvah. We are just so different in every possible way. Every time I tell myself to give it a try, something else comes up to prove to me that it just wasn't meant to be. It's like God is trying to punish me for my past sins or something."
"So what drew you to him in the first place, if you guys are really so different?" Serena asked tactfully.
Blair bit her lip thoughtfully. "Well, he has this sarcastic, self-depreciating humor that's sort of funny, I guess, but not really. And he does this thing where he annoys the hell out of you until he gets what he wants. And he whines like a baby girl and can't seem to make up his mind about anything."
"Uh-huh," Serena answered, amused and holding back a smile.
"But I guess he's also kind, sweet, and sensitive. He listens to me when I talk, and respects me – and I don't think I've ever felt that from a guy before. He looks at me as if I'm the only girl on the planet, and when I'm with him…I'm just happy. Am I even making any sense right now?"
"And you're just going to let him get away?"
"It's not up to me to control! Look, he couldn't get over the fact that I'm not into comic books. What's he going to think when he realizes I play sex games as a pastime after school?" Blair argued. She was feeling more convinced by the minute that she had made the right choice to let him go.
"I think you can give yourself a little more credit than that, B," Serena assured her, holding Blair by the shoulders.
"Can I, Serena? Are you telling me that you never wonder how Dan would see you if he knew all about your past? As in, every little thing? You may be able to tell yourself that it doesn't matter, but I know for a fact that it does. Dan…Seth…they're all the same. The moment he finds out that I'm not who he thought I was, he'd be gone in a heartbeat. It's just not worth it," she said pointedly. Blair knew that dragging Dan into this would be the perfect way to shut Serena up once and for all.
And she was right. Serena collapsed beside her, her blonde hair sprawled over the headrest. She stayed silent, as if contemplating her own future. They spent the rest of the night together in a subdued mood, making small talk and purposely avoiding the topic of boys altogether. Blair had wanted to apologize to Serena a couple of times both during and after dinner, but she wasn't sure how to bring the topic back up without stirring up her own mixed emotions as well. The truth was, Blair had no idea how to handle things with Seth, and was in a complete mess over the whole conundrum. Finally, it was Serena who spoke up, just as Blair was about to call it a night and return to her bedroom.
"You know B, I don't know Seth and I can't say what his reaction would be when he gets to know you. I'd also be lying if I said that I never worry about Dan judging me, or that we always get along, despite our differences," Serena confided. She paused to observe Blair's expression.
"Point being?" Blair asked, seemingly disinterested.
Serena cleared her throat, ignoring her harsh tone. She knew how Blair got when she felt uncomfortable, and decided not to hold it against her. "What I'm saying is, I can't predict the future with Dan. And neither can you, with Seth. But all I know is that Dan makes me happy, and when I'm with him, I want to be a better person. I just think that if Seth could have that kind of power on you, it'd be a shame to let that slip away."
Blair softened her expression. "You really think there's a chance for us? I mean, despite everything? You really think someone could still love me after who I've become?"
"I don't know what Chuck said to you to make you see yourself as some sort of monster. But I'm sure that if Seth really cared about you, he would see you and accept you for who you are right now – both the bright and the dark sides. There's more to Blair Waldorf than just your past," Serena told her tenderly.
Blair looked up at her best friend apologetically. She knew she had been cruel to Serena, and undeservingly so. "And Dan Humphrey would be blind if he didn't love you for who you are, too," Blair responded, giving her a small smile. She reached up to give Serena a hug, and the two friends embraced each other for a few minutes before Serena finally let go.
"Do you want me to stay with you tonight, keep you company?" she offered. "I could bring my stuff over from the guest room and we can just stay in your bed and talk."
Blair took a deep breath. "No, I'm fine. Thanks for worrying about me, but I think I'm going to need some time alone to figure out what I'm going to do about Seth. I don't think he's going to want to talk to me after the way I just treated him."
"He'll get used to it," Serena assured Blair. "It's the famous Blair Waldorf treatment – completely hot and cold, and completely out of love. I'm sure you two will be able to figure things out. Just be brave!" Blair smiled at Serena, grateful that she had someone in her life who understood her so well and stuck by her through thick and thin.
Blair had just settled down in her room for a couple of minutes when she heard a strange noise outside her window. She scrambled to get hold of some sort of weapon in her room, anything to defend herself against whatever it was that was making the loud banging sound. She managed to grab hold of her lamp as she waited for the dark figure to make his way towards her open window. Blair was just about to whack him when she realized that it was Seth, covered in a black hoodie, and struggling to keep his grip on the windowsill. Blair stared at him in shock, still holding her lamp for protection.
"Um, a little help would nice here, Blair," Seth uttered, panting loudly. Blair put down her lamp and held Seth by his scrawny arms, dragging his body through the window. He fell face down onto her bedroom floor, knocking over everything that was on her desk.
"What on earth are you doing here?" Blair demanded, shutting her window as Seth slowly got back on his feet. "And haven't you heard of a door?" She crossed her arms as Seth examined himself for injuries.
"I almost died out there trying to get to you, so it would be nice for you to show some concern," Seth snapped back grumpily.
Blair rolled her eyes at him. "Please. If you're going to sneak in through some girl's window, the least you can do is not blame your lack of athletic abilities on her," she remarked lightly. She stood there, ready as ever for another round of banter, but Seth had other things on his mind.
"Look Blair, I crawled through your window because I wanted to catch you alone. I know how you get when other people are around, so I'm just going to ignore everything you said in front of Serena today – even though I'd like to point out that you kind of hurt my feelings," he said, appearing indignant.
"And is that all you came to say?" Blair asked in a soft voice, wondering what his next move would be.
"No Blair, that's not what I came here to say." Seth took a deep breath before looking right at her. "I came here to tell you that I know what's been going on – why you ran away from me that day at the comic book store."
Blair's heart sank. "You do?" He's going to break up with me, Blair thought, panicking. He's going to tell me he knows all about Chuck and my past and how disgusting I am, and he's – Blair couldn't finish her thoughts before Seth spoke again.
"Yeah well it's not surprising that you feel that way, especially when it was the first time I ever brought you to Centurion. I know comics can be a bit overwhelming, especially for a beginner, and I know you must think after that date that we couldn't possibly be any more different from each other," Seth explained, looking away briefly. He paused, waiting for Blair to respond.
Well, at least he got one thing right, Blair thought with relief. She looked up at him, her clear brown eyes full of questions. "So, what are we going to do?"
"We," Seth said, taking a step towards Blair and taking her hands in his, "are going to deal with this together. I know that I'm not one of those fancy, charming guys that you're used to on the Upper East Side, nor do I have Hercules-like biceps and abs of steel like the ones in Newport. But I really, really like you Blair, and I think I can make you happy. And I will keep doing so until you tell me to my face that you don't feel the same. I'm not giving up on us – not yet. Not until you give me a chance to show you who I really am, and that I can be the kind of guy you want me to be."
Blair's eyes welled up with tears at his moving speech, but she quickly wiped them away, out of reflex. "What happened to the Seth Cohen that stood up to me at Harbor? I thought he said that I had to take him as he was, or have nothing at all," she challenged him.
Seth didn't flinch at her reply. "That Seth Cohen is here, standing in front of you, telling his girlfriend that he is not moving until she gives him a chance to show her what he's made of," he told her.
Blair felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach. It was everything she could do not to grab him and shove her tongue down his throat right then and there. "Are we really going to stand here talking about ourselves in third and fourth person?" Blair teased.
"No," Seth said, stepping away. Blair looked at him curiously, as he pulled out a large, black folder from his backpack. Blair sat on the floor, her legs tucked under her, as she waited to see what it was that Seth was holding in his hands. Seth opened the folder to reveal a series of sketches, expertly made, of a beautiful, elegant brunette dressed in a vintage superhero costume, and with a headband. She gasped as she flipped through the pages, realizing that Seth had drawn out their entire storyline, from the moment they first met, to their second big kiss at Harbor.
"This is incredible," she breathed, unable to look away from the drawings. "How long did this take you?"
Seth smiled sheepishly. "Not long, considering I've been drawing them pretty much since…you know, the beginning," he replied, feeling glad that Blair seemed engrossed in his artwork.
Blair looked up at him. "Even when you were with Summer?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah well, it's not every day that a pretty little stranger comes in from New York and bosses you around, terrorizing the entire school in a headband," he joked, reaching out to touch her hair affectionately. His touch sent shivers down Blair's spine.
"What are her special powers?" Blair questioned, widening her eyes in wonder. She couldn't believe that he had made her a heroine in a graphic novel, of all things. And more so – that she was delighted by it. She laughed to herself as she read the recaps of their previous conversations.
"Well, she uses her powers of manipulation and mind-numbing intelligence to shock her adversaries into obedience, then attacks them with her literary prowess."
Blair raised an eyebrow at him, and Seth laughed.
"I'm kidding – she stops time at her will and makes everything freeze around her to stun her opponents," he said gently, taking her by the hand again and looking her in the eye meaningfully. "Because that's how you make me feel when I'm around you. Like time stops." Seth leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips, and Blair returned it eagerly, allowing herself to melt into him. She couldn't believe that she had ever doubted his feelings for her, even for a second. They stayed there, sitting on Blair's floor, holding each other with their lips locked together passionately, as if making up for lost time.
After ten minutes, Seth finally pulled away from her. "There's more," he explained, taking out a bundle of CDs and DVDs, plus a book, out of his backpack. "I present to you the Seth Cohen Starter Pack."
Blair wrinkled her nose and she took the package from Seth's hands, examining its contents. "What is this? The Goonies…Bright Eyes…The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay – well, I'd have to say that most of your taste is pretty good. Except for The Goonies. Not really a fan of Spielberg, sorry to say," she commented, passing the DVD back to him. Seth gasped dramatically and covered his ears with both his hands. "Stop! I don't want to hear it. Do you even know what you're saying, woman? That man is a god!" he protested. Blair got up and brushed herself off, walking straight to her dresser to rummage through her own collection of CDs and DVDs. She shuffled for a few minutes, then finally returned to Seth, a couple of items in her hand. "And now I present to you the Blair Waldorf Starter Pack – it's got my favourite classics: Breakfast at Tiffany's, of course, Casablanca, 16 Candles…and some of the best music known to mankind – The Beatles, Bjork, Radiohead…and of course, my own copy of Wuthering Heights. Don't lose it – it's a limited edition," she warned him, passing him the massive pile. Seth sifted through the collection and handed her back her CDs. "I've already got these," he told her. He put the things down next to him, and looked up at her. "God, all this Bronte sisters stuff? You're such a girl!" "And you are such a boy," she shot back, taking his remark as a compliment. "And for your information, my favourite flowers are -" "Pink peonies," Seth cut in, interrupting her. "I noticed them the first time I came to your house." He pulled her closer to him, turning serious again. "So, are we going to make this work?" Blair nodded at him, her heart bursting with emotion. Even though she had been swept off her feet numerous times before by his sweet gestures, this was the first time where she felt that they had come to an understanding, a compromise – and the first time where she felt that she would be willing to put down her pride and take a leap of faith with him. Seth stayed the night with her, going through all of Blair's favourite movies featuring the lovely Audrey Hepburn, before finally popping in the last DVD of the night – the Goonies – until they fell asleep in each others' arms.