A/N: I know, I'm horrible. Part two will come tomorrow, I hope. Until then...leave your theories, comments, thoughts, feedback, or wishes!
"Emergency."
Blair walked into her bedroom to find half-naked Seth waiting for her on her bed, posed in what he must have thought (wrongly) as a provocative position. She closed her eyes and shook away the image as she threw his tee back at him, still focused on whatever she was doing on her phone.
"Hey, I'm hurt," Seth said with a pout, reluctantly throwing the shirt over his head. "Kind of know how it feels to be a male escort now. Come on, Blair, gimme some of that lovin'…" He reached over to pull Blair into his arms, only to be confronted with a palm in the face. "Ow."
Blair sighed. "Listen, as encouraged as I am by the fact that you are finally willing yourself out of your life of abstinence, I happen to have more important matters to take care of at the moment." She set her phone down for a millisecond to look at him meaningfully. "There's been a calamity of some sort in New York, and I'm afraid it requires my immediate attention. Guess we'll have to take yet another rain-check on the museum run." She turned back to her phone and typed furiously to arrange the quickest flight possible that would get her to Manhattan.
Seth stood up and gasped dramatically. "You mean it's the Twin Towers? Oh no, wait, that was September 11th, and you're not Jack Bauer who works for the CTU, so I guess anything can wait until after Memorial Day weekend," he said sarcastically, snatching the phone away from Blair's hands, and putting it aside so she would be forced to focus on him.
"Really, Seth? I know we have our differences about 9/11 conspiracy theories, but that is beyond the realm of acceptable joking matter," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. She watched his frown grow deeper and sighed again. "Okay, so maybe it's not a matter of life and death, but Serena needs me. She's been having problems with Dan for a while now, and I'm worried that she may go back to her old ways without his…influence." Blair frowned herself, surprised that she had actually admitted that Dan was a positive change in her best friend's life, despite his constant eye-rolling and judgmental pretentiousness.
"Hmm…are we talking about the same Serena who – uh, let's see – slept with your boyfriend, had problems with drugs and alcohol, left you behind without saying goodbye when your parents got divorced, abandoned you when you were dealing with bulimia, and constantly makes you battle an inferiority complex when you're around her?" Seth rambled on with a raised eyebrow.
"Hey, only I get to talk about my friends that way!" Blair protested, shoving Seth aside to retrieve her phone. "Besides, that's all in the past now. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, and I miss hanging out with her so much. It'd be good to at least be able to catch up!" She bit her lip, wondering if she had told Seth a little too much about her past. Now he was going to give her a hard time every time she talks about Serena – which happens to be all the time.
"Well great, then. Why don't I come with you?" Seth offered, shrugging casually.
Blair froze and widened her eyes. "What?"
"Well you want to fly to New York and visit Serena. I want to get the Blair Waldorf special museum education tour that you've been raving about for weeks. What better way to get that experience than to go with you, to New York, where you can take me to the MoMA and the MET, and wherever it is you artsy people go? I've always dreamt to study on the East coast, and this would be the perfect chance for me to check things out and see if I'd like it. So, what do you say, Blair? Memorial day weekend on the Upper East Side…just the two of us. Sound good?"
Seth gave her a wink and Blair slumped onto her bed in defeat – there was no getting out of this one. She gave him a weak smile as she reluctantly texted Dorota to arrange two seats instead. This was going to be one heck of a weekend.
"Serena! We're here!" Blair barged into the van der Woodsen's penthouse and threw down her bags, making Seth trip over them.
"Okay, Blair, can you calm down? You've been chugging Red Bulls like, two hours before the landing. I think you can take it easy now that we're actually here," Seth assured her, looking cautiously at his extremely high-strung girlfriend.
"Quiet, Cohen. You promised you wouldn't get in my way this weekend, and we're here for important matters. How can I function effectively on the Upper East Side when I'm still living in Newport time, huh?" Blair wandered deeper into the penthouse and called out again. "Serena! It's me, B! You know, your best friend?"
"Uh – it's a three-hour difference, not like we just flew to Tokyo or anything. Can't you just call her? Maybe she's not at home," Seth suggested, following Blair into the spacious living room and finding an elegant, blonde woman who looked like she was in her late-30's clutching her forehead while holding a glass of whiskey. She immediately reminded Seth of his own mom. She looked up at them and set the glass down.
"Oh, Blair! What a pleasant surprise!" She rushed forward to meet Blair, and they gave each other soft pecks on the cheek as a greeting. "And I see you've brought a guest!" Lily smiled at Seth, raising her eyebrows at Blair, and offered her hand to him. "Lily van der Woodsen. Serena's mom. Nice to meet you…?"
"Seth," he answered, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. Lily and Blair then proceeded to sit on the van der Woodsen's sofa, which looked very uncomfortable and unwelcoming. In fact, it occurred to Seth that everything in this home looked rather uncomfortable and unwelcoming – as if no one actually lived there. He awkwardly took a seat next to Blair, who made no further effort to explain to Lily who he was. He drummed his fingers aimlessly on his lap while the two of them chatted, neither of them taking any additional notice of him.
"I'm sorry, Lily, but we can't really stay for long. I only came here because I've heard from reliable…ahem – sources that Serena's having some problems with Dan lately and getting into a bit of trouble," Blair said quickly, sneaking a look at Seth to make sure he hadn't caught on. She didn't want him to know that the reliable source was actually Gossip Girl, and that she hasn't actually spoken to Serena for about two weeks now.
"Well, I'd say your sources are quite accurate, considering I haven't seen my own daughter for two weeks now, either. I've asked Eric but he hasn't heard from her either. Maybe you could try calling Dan…or even Nate," Lily offered, looking concerned.
"Nate? You mean Nate as in your ex-boyfriend, her ex-one-night-stand, Nate?" Seth spoke up suddenly, interrupting the two of them. This whole thing was sounding pretty bizarre. He turned to Blair. "Are you telling me we flew all the way to New York to find your friend who's basically gone AWOL? Again?"
Blair shot a harsh look at Seth. "Shhh! Quiet, Cohen! Don't you know it's impolite to interrupt? And this is the girl's mother, for crying out loud. Show some sensitivity!" she hissed at him.
Lily waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, don't worry about me, Blair. I've been Serena's mother for seventeen years now, so I've got a pretty good idea of how my daughter operates. Do find her for me and bring her home, will you?" Lily took Blair's hand in both of hers and stood up. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, I have a lunch with Charles' father."
Blair gave a sharp gasp at the mention of Chuck's name. Her voice came out several pitches higher than usual. "Charles? Oh? That's nice. Wouldn't want to keep you, then. Any idea where Charles is, today?" Blair could feel the Red Bull kicking in. The last thing she needed was a full-on confrontation between Chuck and Seth this weekend. She had to do whatever it takes to keep the two from seeing each other.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Most likely having another one of his trademark mornings with some impressionable young ladies at the Empire, if you know what I mean." She kissed Blair lightly on both cheeks again to bid her farewell, retrieved her limited edition Chanel from the chair, and headed over to wait for the lift, giving the couple a last glance before slipping through the elevator doors.
Blair sat back and sighed heavily. Seth glanced at her wearily. "So, now what? It's still not too late to fly back and go on our museum run, you know. Nothing like the OCMA!" he said sarcastically.
Blair stood up decisively. "Didn't you hear what Serena's mom said? Serena's obviously in some sort of trouble and needs our help. Come on, Seth. We're going to Brooklyn." She figured that Dan Humphrey may have more answers than she and Lily did, and if he didn't – well, at least there was no danger of running into Chuck in that part of town. Besides, she wasn't really ready yet to face Nate again, even if it may have been the more direct way of finding Serena. She walked ahead and pressed the button on the lift impatiently, avoiding Seth's inquisitive eyes as he picked up their luggage and followed her.
"Humphrey? Humphrey!" Blair called out as she pushed through the heavy doors of Dan's loft. She had known from previous experience that his doors were never locked. Blair always found it strange that he had so much faith in his neighbourhood, despite the fact that he lived in Brooklyn. She didn't bother waiting for Seth as she ran straight through the garage door that separated the living room.
"Humphrey!" she demanded one last time and she stumbled into his room only to find him sitting uncomfortably close to a familiar-looking brunette. Blair gasped sharply. This was not good. She struggled to find the right words as Seth finally made his way into the room.
"Hey, has anyone ever noticed that there is a garage door in the middle of the room?" Seth asked, spinning his head in all directions to get a better look of the Humphrey loft. So far, his trip to New York was just as enlightening as he had imagined it – despite completely losing his girlfriend to the twilight zone. She had barely said a word to him since they've landed. Blair held a finger to his lips harshly to shush him.
"Daniel Humphrey, what on earth are you doing here?" Blair asked, purposely ignoring the girl who still kept her hand on his lap as he snapped back in surprise.
"Blair? What are you doing here? This is my house! How did you even get in?" he asked with a frown.
Blair sighed impatiently. "I'm the one who'll be asking the questions now, if you don't mind. I was asking, what are you doing here – with Georgina Sparks?" She turned to the girl and hissed at her. "And get your paws off her, you lunatic! Haven't you heard? He's taken!" She grabbed Dan by his shirt and pulled him backwards, throwing him back onto the bed to ensure that Georgina kept her distance.
Georgina feigned an innocent expression and batted her long eyelashes at Blair. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Blair! Haven't you heard? Serena left Dan a week ago. I'm just trying to be a good friend for him right now," she cooed at her, throwing a glance at Dan in the corner of her eye.
"Oh, please, don't make me throw up on you!" Blair spat at her. She turned around furiously to face Dan. "And God, could you be any more dense? This girl is like the spawn of Satan! You actually trust her?"
Dan wrinkled his forehead. "Blair, are you asking me whether I trust her – who, by the way, has been there for me through all this Serena drama for the past two weeks – over you, who basically represents everything I fear and loathe about the Upper East Side, then I'm sorry to say, I'd like to take my chances with Georgina. Sorry Blair, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Like, now."
"Uh, excuse me, can anyone tell me what the heck is going on here? Blair, what are we doing here? I…don't think Serena's here. Let's just go," Seth interrupted, feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the weird vibe in the room.
"You can go if you want, but I'm staying here until this Brooklyn bonehead kicks Little Miss She-Devil out of this loft so we can talk about Serena," Blair said firmly, planting herself on Dan's bed in between Dan and Georgina. Seth rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in the air in exasperation.
Dan stood up angrily, running his hand through his hair. "You know what, Blair? You can stay. So can you, Georgina. I'm gonna go." He walked straight out of the loft without glancing back at the three of them, slamming the heavy door shut behind him.
"Well, that went well," Georgina commented, rising from the bed and dusting her hands off.
"What are you doing back here anyway? And with Dan? Why would Serena break up with him? She's head over heels for Humphrey!" Blair exclaimed in a shrill voice.
"Looks like someone's bestie has been keeping her out of the loop," Georgina responded lightly, looking smug. She glanced over casually at Seth. "And who might this be? Your new boy toy? I guess you've decided to adopt your own piece of charity work. Excellent – birds of a feather do indeed flock together."
Blair narrowed her eyes at her. "Come on, Seth. It's a waste of time dealing with people like her. Let's go find Serena." Blair led the way out of the room, with Seth following close behind, lugging her luggage behind him.
"Go ahead, you poor, lost, little puppy. You'll be doing plenty of that in the time to come, you know. Our own Queen B here, thinking she could be satisfied with the average Joe. Serena thought she found her true love in simple Dan Humphrey, too. And look how well that turned out," Georgina said smugly, crossing her arms over her chest.
Blair stopped for a moment, bit her lip, then continued to walk on, choosing to ignore her obnoxious comments. She remained completely quiet until the both of them ended up back on the sidewalk, Seth having to take a seat on Dan's doorsteps to take a moment's rest.
Blair looked at him impatiently. "Well? Are you just going to sit there in the middle of the streets in Brooklyn, of all places?"
Seth looked equally annoyed. "Blair, I'm tired. All this has been a wild goose chase so far. You know, you could have told me you had no idea where Serena was, and then we could have at least checked into a hotel or something while we figured out a plan."
Blair's head snapped up suddenly, as if hit by a spark of realization. "A hotel! That's it! Serena only has like, three friends, including me. If she's not with Dan, and not at home, she's probably at The Empire." She scrunched her nose at him. "So you are useful for something."
Seth looked as if he had been slapped. "Um…thanks?"
Blair rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." She consulted her phone, deep in thought. "Seth, there's a few errands I have to run, and I can't do it with you tagging along behind me. Be a dear and check into a hotel while I go search for the fugitive, will you?" she asked, smiling at him sweetly.
"Er…okay. I'll just check into The Empire then, where you think Serena will be. You will be able to find her and save her or whatever it is you're trying to do, and I will be able to enjoy a whole lot of infomercials while spending my Memorial Day weekend in New York," he responded sarcastically.
"NO!" Blair practically shouted, a look of utter alarm on her face. She regained her composure and coughed lightly. "I meant, no. The Empire is completely overrated and jam-packed with tourists. You'd better check us into the…um…The Peninsula. Yes, that'll do. That will put you right on Fifth Avenue where you can do some shopping at Bergdorf's while you wait for me." She handed her his credit card and shooed him away. "Run along now, Cohen. And don't call me – I'll call you." She turned around and hailed a cab to take her directly to The Empire, leaving Seth looking lost and speechless, standing there on the sidewalk with two pieces of her gigantic luggage.
Blair drummed her fingers impatiently on her tote bag as the cab entered the busy streets of Manhattan. She was sticking her head out of the window, trying to catch a glimpse of a disorderly, tall blonde, when her phone beeped. She rolled her eyes – it was probably Seth, wondering where to get the best burgers in town. She decided to ignore the message, until her phone rang instead. Exasperated and irritated as ever, she picked up the phone to yell at him.
"Cohen, I said I was busy," she exclaimed before she gave him a chance to say anything.
"Trouble in paradise already, Waldorf?" a voice responded in a low, Batman-like whisper. It wasn't Seth – it was Chuck Bass.
"Chuck," she replied, the name already leaving a sour taste in her mouth.
"Don't worry, I have no interest in your affairs with that OC boy. I'm calling because I saw on Gossip Girl that you're in town, and I thought you could give me a hand with our blonde friend. Are you alone?" he murmured, his voice so low that Blair had to struggle to hear him properly.
"Yes, I'm alone, but don't get any ideas. But more to the point – Serena. Is she with you? Never mind, I'm just pulling into The Empire as we speak. I'll check myself," she declared, ready to hang up.
There was a pause. "No – she wouldn't come to me. I reckon she's with Nate – the two have been spending a lot of time together these past few weeks. I'll meet you at Victrola." He paused again. "It's good to hear your voice again, Waldorf." Silence.
Blair wrinkled her nose at the phone, already feeling queasy about what she was about to get herself into.
"Sorry, change of plans – take me back to SoHo, please."