Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot herein.

The rest of the day at Malfoy Manor was enjoyed by all, though Hermione was more than a bit miffed that Lucius showed no remorse whatsoever after gifting Scorpius with the training broom.

"Look at it this way, love: I had my first training broom when I was three years younger than our son. And it only goes a few feet off the ground." Draco sounded like he was pleading to keep the proverbial pup that 'followed' him home.

"Even if it doesn't fly especially high, the bloody thing goes fast, Draco! He was a blur, and he's only six!"

Malfoy sighed. It wasn't often that their Muggleborn vs. Pureblood backgrounds caused trouble, but it was a safe bet that if flying was involved, conflict over upbringing would soon follow. Hermione knew she couldn't take the broom from Scorpius. By giving it directly to the child, Lucius had ensured that his gift could not be returned or disposed of easily, the rotten snake.

One can imagine the Malfoy patriarch's surprise during a board meeting at Malfoy Enterprises two days later. Midway through a detailed presentation, Lucius' robes spontaneously changed to an especially lacy example in a lurid shade of hot pink, his long blond hair plaited itself intricately, and makeup appeared on his face.

It took an hour to undo the modifications, and the rest of the afternoon to calm the board members. One especially old wizard had to be transported to St. Mungo's after he found himself unable to catch his breath. In between pants, he raved about seeing his deceased wife. Gold and intimidation were employed to keep the incident out of the papers.

To add insult to injury, an owl arrived at Malfoy Manor that evening:

Dear Lucius:

I have been experimenting with both image-altering and time-delayed charms recently for my new book. I'm so sorry that I forgot to mention it at lunch. When you have a moment, please do advise how effective you considered my humble attempt, and if you looked as fabulous in pink as I thought you would. Your colleagues have said they were quite impressed. Well, I think that's what they said. It was hard to translate between their giggles.

You pull a stunt like you did with the training broom again and I'll make chickens and makeovers the least of your worries.

Warmest Regards,

Your Daughter-in-Law

Narcissa poked her head around the doorjamb into Lucius' study. "Is it safe to enter yet, or is the Fearsome Malfoy Wrath still in effect?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "It's fine, Cissa. I have to hand it to the witch: that was ingenious. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I've been attempting to persuade the wrong Malfoy about joining the family business."

His lovely wife did her best to hide her grin as her husband worked on comforting his bruised pride. "You believe that Hermione could be an asset at Malfoy Enterprises?"

"I've begun to believe that woman could be an asset anywhere she chose, and Heaven help anyone for whom she decides to be a liability." With that, he picked up a quill to respond.

"Dear Vengeful, Sadistic Fiend:

Well played. Welcome to the family.

I don't care how brave you were during the war, the Sorting Hat made a mistake with you.

The shade of pink was a bit...vulgar, I'm afraid. A dusty rose would have been so much more appropriate. I suppose I should be glad you didn't put me in a bonnet or an outfit that revealed cleavage. Thankfully, being a Malfoy, I can look incredible in anything. Remind me to teach you how to do that.

In all seriousness, I would like to sit down with you and discuss uses for those charms that could be highly profitable to the family business. I know that Draco has no plans to rejoin the company at this time, but I have the feeling that you could be just as useful, if not more so (don't tell my son I said that - poor boy's had a complex most of his life). And if it's simply providing ideas or spells, you could work from home just as easily. Promise me you'll think about it, and I will drop the subject. For now.

I make no guarantees regarding future gifts to my grandson. Being stuck in drag was worth it to see his face the first time he mounted a broom. Do you remember how you felt when you saw Scorpius take his first steps? It's a very similar situation.

Please give the family Cissa's and my regards, and kindly remove any other spells you have lying in wait - I have a very important conference tomorrow.

Yours,

Lucius

Hermione was positively aglow after reading her father-in-law's latest letter. Draco found himself highly irritated and not a little nervous when it was established that she would not be sharing the contents.

Dear Fashion Plate:

I've cancelled the spells to provide you with a tutu and clown shoes. You're welcome. Good luck on your conference.

-H

Lucius sighed in relief upon reading this. Gods alone knew what she would come up with in the future. In a strange way, he found himself looking forward to it. Hermione was sneaky, cunning, and ruthless.

Narcissa caught the sigh. "Everything all right?"

"Fine, fine. I was just thinking about our son's choice of a mate. She's positively rotten."

"Yes, dear. I like her too."