He didn't say anything for a long time. Sitting there with his back against the head board, Kaiba just stared at his crossed hands and swore inwardly. What the hell was he thinking by asking her that? What did he think he'd accomplish by that move? It was stupid and a mistake. Now she knew more than he cared for her to and Anzu had him backed into a corner.

She didn't love him. And how could she, when he thought about it? He wasn't a likable person. People avoided being around him outside of his own employees, and that was why he spent most of his days alone. No one chose to be around him if they could help it, and even his own brother was starting to disappear on him frequently. It just proved to Kaiba what he already knew since the beginning.

No one could love him, because he wasn't deserving of it.

Anzu was too good for him anyways. Sure, she might be a little interested in him for the time being, but it wouldn't last. She would go back home and entertain him for a while, but when someone better came along, she'd leave him. He wasn't worth her time, and Kaiba knew it. People like Anzu deserved only the best, and for once, Kaiba admitted to himself that he wasn't. Not in this particular situation.

"Kaiba?"

He could hear Anzu addressing him, but he didn't feel like answering. The silence was better than anything he could possibly say, so keeping his mouth shut, Kaiba did just that. She probably pitied him, out of some misguided sense of empathy. If only she felt bad enough for him to leave him the hell alone, he would have gotten over her words himself. Whatever thing she had to say, it wouldn't help him.

It wasn't fair either. Shit was always happening to Kaiba since the beginning, and it was never getting better. Everyone who said otherwise had lied to him. At least Anzu hadn't done that, she was at least honest with him. Maybe he was expecting something from her that was just never going to be there. The night before could have just been a fluke; Kaiba's mistake that wouldn't happen again because nothing was really there.

At least now he knew.

"Are you even listening to me?"

Anzu began crawling over to him, but she might as well have been addressing a mannequin. Kaiba's mind was somewhere else, and taking a seat on his outstretched legs, the girl forced him back to reality. His eyes looked down at her smooth thighs, but still he wouldn't say anything. Her proximity had his heart pound hard against his ribs, and his blood felt warm as it rushed through his veins, but his face would never give himself away. Even when she placed her hands on his shoulders, Kaiba kept his eyes away.

"What?" he snapped, looking up suddenly. He felt like a caged animal, as Anzu's eyes wouldn't stop staring at him.

"Kaiba listen. I didn't know you felt that way. Don't shut me out just yet. Really, I'm trying to understand you right now, and I don't want you doing this to me because I don't know what I'm feeling, you need to understand that. I'm just… confused."

"Confused over what? You said no without much hesitance, so I can't see how you'd be confused over that."

"Kaiba, you need to understand-"

"-I already do, you don't need to explain anything. You don't love me. Stop rubbing it in my face already."

"Do you honestly think I'm trying to hurt you?"

He didn't say anything. His mouth went shut and he looked towards the door, as if considering leaving. Anzu saw his eyes look there, and sighing, she shook her head.

"If you gave me a chance to explain myself, maybe you wouldn't hate me like you do right now. It's not like I haven't been burned before either."

"What would you know of it, Mazaki?"

"I've been rejected."

"Unlikely story, as if anyone couldn't-"

"-He didn't. I was in love with him for four years, and he never returned my feelings. Do you have any idea how horrible that felt? It wasn't even like this. He never had any feelings for me whatsoever. And I could never tell anyone, because it was so horribly wrong and I felt so guilty about the entire thing for years."

"What are you talking about?"

"If I tell you Kaiba, you can't tell anyone ever, do you understand me?"

"Yes."

Anzu sighed, and Kaiba got a feeling she was hoping that he'd say no. Her face was flushed and getting emotional once more, he thought she was on the verge of tears. Her body moved away from him, until she was sitting next to Kaiba, legs crossed and arms holding around them. Looking down at her, he thought she resembled a frightened teenager.

"… Other Yugi. The one who came out during duels and defeated you all those times, I was in love with him. He saved me and I couldn't stop myself from falling for him. It was so awful because I knew he didn't feel anything besides friendship for me. You have no idea how horrible it is, seeing a person every day and knowing you'll never have them."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. Kaiba, I want to love you like I did him. Really, I do. But honestly, you scare me. You're the most difficult person I've ever met, and I don't know how to make you happy. It's like every time something good between us happens; you need to figure out a reason to be angry again. If I put everything into this, I don't know if I can keep you content being with me. I'm not sure if you're even capable of it. You seem so focused on being miserable, and I can't do that with you."

"I don't know how to be anything else. Did you ever think of that?"

"How could I, when you keep me in the dark?"

It was only to protect himself. She was capable of hurting him, and Kaiba had been burned too many times by people to freely allow them in. No one was ever going to disappoint him again like the others did, if he could help it. He'd never allow anyone to hurt him unless he got them first.

"… Will you just let me help you?"

"Why should I? So you can ridicule me one day when you've grown sick of my company and decide it would make a fun story to tell your old gang of losers next time you all meet up?"

"You don't trust me at all, and yet you wonder why I can't love you. How could you think I'd ever make light of any of this? Besides, I'd never tell my friends. It's the last thing in the world I want them knowing about."

"Embarrassed that you're sleeping with the man they hated?"

"More like it's none of their damn business and I don't want them involved. It has nothing to do with you. I really like you and I don't understand why you refuse to believe it. Kaiba, you're my closest friend right now, and I love you as a friend… but I just don't know if I can afford to go any further if you're just bent on being like this. I can't love someone who doesn't even love himself."

"But you'll love some dead Egyptian king who lives in a piece of jewelry, because that makes much more sense."

"Don't mock me. I thought I was in love with Yugi, but that wasn't the case."

"And did you ever tell him?"

"No. It would have broken his heart."

"But you had no problem telling me, Mazaki."

"Kaiba, I thought you wanted the truth. And honestly, I thought you were strong enough to handle it. Apparently I was wrong."

"There's nothing I can't handle-"

"-then act like it."

Going quiet, Kaiba scolded himself. He was acting like an immature teenager and it needed to stop. The man was better than that, and feeling bad for himself would get him nowhere. No wonder why Anzu didn't love him back. She would have to be won, like anything else worth having in life, and that meant being the kind of person who deserved to have her. Right now, he didn't deserve anything from the way he was behaving.

"… You're right, Anzu. I've been acting like a child, and there's no excuse for it. I'll get over it."

"You know, it's all right to show some emotion every once in a while."

He turned to look at her face, and found Anzu smiling at him. Sure, she had a few tear stains on her cheeks and her blue eyes were rimmed red, but she still looked beautiful. Then, before he knew what she was planning to do, she kissed him, holding his bottom lip for a second before releasing and setting her head on Kaiba's shoulder. Slightly taken aback, he just stared at her for a minute, before trying to move away."

"Don't."

He stayed put. Anzu's arm latched onto his and she pulled him towards her, until Kaiba was forced into slouching so they were right at each other's eye level. Then, sniffling some from the crying, she moved over one of his legs until she was sitting between them. She leaned her back into Kaiba's chest, and wasn't shy at all about grabbing his arms again, pulling him close while sighing against him.

Her hair smelled good.

"Kaiba, have you ever been close to anyone before?"

"Like this? No."

"Why not?"

"I just haven't."

"Well, I like this. You feel nice, and it makes me feel safe. And, I am sorry I just started crying like that. Really, I didn't mean to. You just need to understand I'm as new to this relationship thing as you are, and sometimes it overwhelms me."

"You've never had a boyfriend?"

"Besides you? No. It never occurred to me to try dating, and I always thought I'd meet some guy down the line who would sweep me off my feet. Ha. That never happened."

"Do you still want that?"

"No, not anymore. It was a childish fantasy and I realize that now. The things I wanted in high school aren't the things I want now, and I'm happy with what I got anyways. It's not perfect, and I'll have to work hard to keep it, but maybe if I try, it'll end up working out in the end."

Maybe there was hope for Kaiba after all.

"Also," asked Anzu, looking up at his face, "I have a question for you."

"What is it?

"Why can't I call you by your first name?"

Looking down at her, he met her gaze. "I never said you couldn't," he replied.

"But you never asked me to either. I hate calling you Kaiba, it sounds so… formal. You aren't just an acquaintance to me, and I want to use your first name."

"I don't know about that."

"It would make me really happy if you did."

"…Fine, go ahead then. Just don't do it in public."

"Of course not silly, I wouldn't dream of it."

"Don't call me silly."

She didn't reply after that, snorting to herself as Kaiba looked down at her once more. There was a slight grin on her face, and despite the remains of a few loose tears, Anzu appeared content once more. It was interesting, how her moods changed so frequently. He wouldn't call her moody, since usually it happened because of something he did, but she did have quite the temper. Anzu had no problem flaring up, and it quickly died down into a simmer when Kaiba said the right thing.

These were one of those times. Sure, he really didn't want his first name being used. Kaiba was what he was most comfortable with, and Mokuba was the only person who used it freely. One time that Ishtar woman called him by that too, and if it wasn't for the Obelisk card she had, he would have told her off. Casualness was disrespect in his eyes, and he didn't allow for it.

At least, not from people he didn't respect. If they weren't better or equal to him, then they didn't deserve the right to know him. That's how Kaiba felt about it, but Anzu wasn't his inferior. She was in all regards far better a person than he was, and she commonly made him feel like the inferior just by how strong she was in handling herself. Yes, she cried and got emotional, but the girl never backed down in a fight. And he had, several times when it came to their arguments.

Now it was just a matter of habit and comfort. Hearing another person use Seto would take getting used to, but he tried not to think much of it. His name was just a name, and Anzu asked to use it. Besides, he frequently called her Anzu, just like he called Mutou Yugi, and those were the only two people who he was familiar with in that context. Everyone else wasn't worth the time to know.

Or at least, that's how Kaiba felt about it.

It was the quiet times that made things hard for him. The feelings of comfort made his stomach tie into knots, and a part of him just wanted so desperately to move away. Anzu wasn't good for him, and he knew it. She was making him grow soft, and if Gozaburo was still alive, he would have never let Kaiba live it down. Becoming so attached to a girl, it was embarrassing. Someone in Kaiba's position wasn't supposed to act so weak.

But he couldn't help it. His body ignored his mind, and lying there with her against him, he closed his eyes as his brain began to wander. He thought about his brother, and how he was probably doing. Now he could understand why Mokuba liked the girls, but he didn't see what the girls saw in him. Although he loved him dearly, his younger brother was a rather arrogant teenager and Kaiba was beginning to see himself in the kid. Just thinking about it made him grin a little.

"Can I talk to you about something?" asked Anzu, looking up to meet Kaiba's eyes. She had a worried look on her face, and almost immediately the man's smirk faded away. Glancing briefly down at her, he looked away before answering, staring out at the window again.

"If you must."

"I just feel like I need to get this off my chest, or else it'll eat at me forever... It's about last night."

"What part of it?"

"All of it."

There was a heavy sigh as Kaiba let go of Anzu's waist, moving himself from her body as he laid himself down against the bed. Tired and now feeling slightly annoyed, he didn't feel like being close anymore. Not when the talk he'd been dreading was about to begin, and all those uncomfortable feelings would be brought out from the dark.

"Don't shut me out."

"I'm not."

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, but remained where he was. Anzu only moved over to his side, before doing something she didn't expect from her. Before he could think to move away, her fingers were in his hair, massaging his scalp gently. It felt wonderful, and he couldn't do anything but lay there and enjoy the sensations. His head began to tingle with pleasure and he lacked the self-control to make her stop.

"You are. But I can't stop you from doing what you usually do. Kaiba... Seto, I know this isn't easy for you to hear about. It's not easy for me to talk about, but you need to hear it. I don't want you thinking that what happened between us was a mistake, because it wasn't... I'm getting the feeling that you still don't trust me, and I guess if I want you to, that means I'll need to put a little bit of myself out there for you, so I will.

I like you, and I still want you. Right now, I couldn't really imagine not wanting that again with you, because you've shown me a piece of yourself that no one else has ever seen. Maybe I'm being a little selfish for wanting that all to myself, but I can't help it. When you were with me, I felt so safe and you didn't close yourself off... It was a good feeling, and I just wish you felt the same.

Or maybe you do, but you won't tell me."

The words took a little time to sink in, but Kaiba was listening to her. He wouldn't look Anzu in the face, but all attention was on her and he didn't say anything out of fear of blabbing out something stupid. She was making him feel too emotional and he didn't want her seeing that side of him. It made him feel weak, and closing his eyes, he hoped inwardly that she'd say more.

"You confuse me sometimes Seto, so much," sighed Anzu, who was still playing through his hair as he remained on top of the bed unmoving, "and I sincerely hope that one day I'll be able to understand you. Do you have any idea how much I want to make this easier on you?"

He gave her a doubtful look, before staring back outside the window. There was still the convention to get to, and he didn't feel like moving. All Kaiba wanted to do was fall asleep as the woman next to him continued to make his scalp tingle, feeling a overwhelming sense of calm fall upon him. It made her words far more bearable, but he still didn't want to say anything. Not when he felt so naked to her.

"I do. And I want to understand you better, so we wouldn't always be fighting like before. I also want to be able to talk to you and not have this wall between me and your feelings. I'm not trying to use you, Seto. Really, I'm not."

"Everyone is trying to."

"Why would you think that about me?"

Kaiba didn't have a reason to think that, but he certainly didn't feel like exposing himself to her anytime soon again. It was too much, for the both of them. Although he didn't regret it, he began to wonder if it was the right thing to do. She saw him and felt him in ways he wouldn't allow anyone else to experience, and now hiding himself from her was near impossible. Anzu knew him better, and he couldn't do much about it.

It didn't feel fair to him either. Wasn't he usually the one calling all the shots? How could he let her take control so easily without more resistance? How could he let his emotions get the best of him, and have become some slave to a girl who was only planning on leaving him when better opportunities arose? She wanted to dance... More importantly, Anzu wanted her freedom and he knew that meant that one day, she'd leave him for it. He wasn't worth the sacrifice.

"It's not personal Anzu. But experience has taught me enough to know that no one will ever accept me. They want something for the time being, but I'll be cast off when they've gotten their fill."

"Why would I throw our friendship away?

"I'm not worth the trouble of dealing with."

"Seto, I don't "deal" with you. You're my friend. I like being with you, because it makes me feel happy. Even last night, I had sex with you because I wanted that with you. God, I don't get why you refuse to see that? I like you. There's nothing I want from you, but your friendship and trust. If you'd just open up your heart and give me a chance, I could prove that to you. I'm not your enemy."

There was no reply. Kaiba just groaned in frustration, putting his arms over his head to stop Anzu's petting. Shutting his eyes, he hoped she'd just give up on him and leave. But feeling fingers against his forearm, he knew she didn't plan on doing that anytime soon.

"Do you know what I loved most about last night?" she asked.

"No, I don't."

"It wasn't reaching climax. I felt that, and it was wonderful too, but not as much as this other thing."

"… Then what was it?"

Gently Anzu pulled Kaiba's arms away, until he was exposed to her again. And smiling a little, she started playing with his hair again, watching when he looked back up at her. He saw how relaxed she appeared, being next to him, and it couldn't have been forced. She looked too content, like Anzu did years past when she was with her band of loser friends.

"What I loved best was being vulnerable to you, Seto. Even though it wasn't comfortable at first, you worked with me and I knew at that point that you did care. You didn't use me like most people would have, and you made me feel so safe. It was like nothing bad could have happened to me, because you were right there."

Sighing one last time, Anzu ruffled Kaiba's hair before getting up and off the bed. He watched as she slid off, turning his body around to see her more clearly. There was a strange expression on her face, like she didn't even know what to make of her own words. She seemed shocked by her own honesty, while Kaiba didn't know what to make of it.

"Anzu, where are you going?"

"Nowhere."

It didn't seem like that. She was now leaning against the door frame, looking out the window. Maybe she had said more than she wanted, because Kaiba knew the feeling. Looking up at her eyes, he could see that she wasn't hiding anything from him. It was that rawness of feeling he saw before, when they were together. And just like before, she didn't seem too keen on being studied for too long, either. Her face was looking away from him, but her large blue eyes were still visible.

"I- I just needed to tell you that," said Anzu, turning her face to look at Kaiba finally after a long pause, "so maybe you'd trust me."

"I understand."

"Good… I don't want to be trapped in this hotel room any longer. Let's go out, I'll take you around town before we need to go to that convention. Besides, that hot chocolate is making me all jumpy and I need to burn the sugar off."

"Fine, I'll get up."

Smirking, Kaiba got off the bed and quickly left the room, following behind an enthusiastic Anzu. He felt much better about the whole situation, knowing Anzu wasn't his enemy. In her own emotional way, she really was trying to help him. He just needed to learn how to trust again.

She was worth the risk.