Hello again!

I love the hell out of this story.

I hope y'all do too.

Harvey's next text came at almost 2 in the morning. The gentle buzz and soft light waking Edward from his uneasy sleep.
Dent: What do you mean 'Ok'?
I mean Ok, I admit it, you were right.
Edward looked over at his slumbering boyfriend, feeling a deep pit emerge in his stomach.
Harvey was right, he was unhappy.
Things had been so perfect.
But… it just didn't feel right.
Dent: What do you want to do?
This sentence made him frown with a sudden anger, he didn't know anymore. He didn't know what he wanted. He just knew he didn't want to feel that pit when he looked at the man he was supposed to love.
He remembered the spark he had felt when Harvey had touched him. He had never felt that with Jon.
The most he remembered feeling was a slight elation when the man had smiled at him.
Jon had saved his life, all those years ago.
It hadn't felt right to give him nothing in return. But all he had had to give was himself.
So…
Was it all pretend?
Had he felt nothing all this time?
Had Jon tricked him into thinking…
Had he tricked himself into thinking he was in love?
Did he even know what love was?
He raised a hand to his head, letting a gentle sigh come from him, he texted back: I want to feel loved.
Jon stirred in his sleep, Edward's shifting on the bed must had woken him. Edward sat, holding his phone, trying to keep still, and not wake him completely.
The phone buzzed again, and Jon opened his eyes, "W-what…" he squinted at Edward through the darkness, "Who the fuck is texting you in the middle of the night?"
'Harvey," Edward wanted to say, 'I'm talking to him about leaving you. I'm sorry.'
"The…uhh… The internet company… the connection's going to be out until the morning."
Edward swallowed hard: Jon knew when he was lying, he could always tell, he could smell it like a bloodhound, Edward was sure.
"W-What did you do to piss them off…?" Jon slurred, too tired to think.
Edward shook his head frantically, "Nothing, Jon, I swear. There's a problem w-with the line, that's all."
Jon stretched out a hand to clasp it to Edward's knee, "Good boy…" he mumbled, quickly falling asleep again.
Dent: You don't think he loves you?
If he does I don't feel it.
Edward swallowed as he sent the text, looking between Jon and his phone, chewing his lip gently.
Dent: Do you love him?
Edward sat for a moment, thinking of his reply.
He looked at Jon and gave a small smile: he looked so peaceful, bathed in moonlight, his chest rising and falling softly, hissing slightly with every exhale, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.
He tried to imagine Harvey in Jon's place… and… he couldn't. It felt like a betrayal.
Even if he didn't love Jon, he didn't want to hurt him.
I don't know. I just don't want to feel This anymore.
He wiped his hand across his eyes, feeling tears begin to appear.
He'd been here, in this 'relationship' for… three years, almost, maybe a month or two off.
He couldn't just… throw it all away. Have all that time and energy gone with one word.
…But… it shouldn't feel like that, it shouldn't feel like just time and energy that would have been wasted.
Dent: I can help you, but I need to know that you won't regret it.
Edward let out a juddered sigh, tears still coming from him. He… Would he regret it?
He tried to imagine a life without Jon. With Harvey.
He felt so sick.
This felt… weird.
He didn't know.
I don't know if I will.
He just didn't know.
Dent: I can't help you until you're sure Eddie. I don't want to take you away from him if it will make you hate me.
I could never Hate you. I just don't know if leaving is the right thing to do.
Dent: Decide.
He let a small sob escape his lips, and he jolted slightly as Jon's eyes jumped open at the noise.
Edward thrust his phone under his pillow, and watched Jon look over him with half lidded eyes.
"Eddie…" Jon cooed, "What's wrong?"
Edward swallowed, rubbing his hands over his eyes again, "N-Nightmare, it's ok, it's nothing."
Jon smiled at him, and outstretched a hand, wrapping it round Eddie's shoulders, pulling him close. "Oh Eddie.. Don't cry. It's not real. It's ok, I'm here, I'll protect you from the nasty, scary, things… It'll be ok…"
Jon squeezed Edward tightly to his chest, enveloping him with his slim and bony frame, covering him with his warm body.
"I'm sorry Jon…" Edward said, trying not to sob, trying to hold the tears back.
He didn't like the thought of this relationship ending. It was so... natural, now. It was all he knew.
He didn't know if he wanted to give it up.
Jon chuckled gently and nuzzled his nose into Eddie's hair, "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault."

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