A/n warning anyone offended by profanity may want to skip Naruto's minor breakdown Naruto The Eroninja chapter 5 Hotspring Deception
Naruto was torn. He needed a place where he could look at girls but without them seeing him writing about them , 'That would end so well for me' Naruto thought , thinking over his options.
Naruto knew he couldn't use any girl he knew because they WOULD kill him leaving him the option of older women that ..
might be ...more understanding 'Oh who am I trying to kid they are just as likely to hate me they just don't see me on a regular basis'.
Naruto could only think of one place that would allow him to see the women and provide him with a place to hide but it was THE most dangerous idea ever , Naruto was going to have to peek at the women at the hotsprings. Naruto couldn't quite repress a shudder as he thought of one person who got caught peeping at the hotsprings , he didn't get out of the hospital for 3 MONTHS and he was a jounin. Naruto could not get caught doing this and survive. 'Well it is done in the name of literary genius I suppose' Naruto tried and succeeded in , justifying his blatent insanity to himself as he prepared for the most dangerous adventure he had ever set off on.
Naruto steeled his nerves , muttered a short prayer to Kami and double checked he was unobserved before sneaking over to a small hole in the wall of the hotspring , readying his notepad as he went. Naruto had forgotten one important fact about hotsprings, everyone in there was naked , as a result Naruto had to sacrifice the first page of his new notepad to stem the tide of blood from his nose. After that initial problem though Naruto had lots to write about , he tried to focus on one women because she had purple hair (poor poor Naruto) which was quite a unique trait and she was amazingly beautiful in this Naruto's luck was about to chage because Naruto had not known that wednesday's are traditionally when the kunoichi of the leaf use the hotsprings . In addition someone probably should have told Naruto that somepeople , for instance Anko Mitarashi, can tell when someone is looking at them which is what lead to Naruto who was staring into the peephole in the wall to feel a sharp burst of pain in his eye ,when one of the women poked it out.
Clutching his eye in pain and hearing cries of pervert from the women within Naruto did the sensible thing ,he lost his mind
'they know I'm here FUCK, they know I'm here, what do I do SHIT SHIT SHIT what do I do , I'm going to die , they're going to kill me! WAIT thats it ,I am a genius' Naruto screamed inside his brain , panic allieviated as he realised the only possible wayout , act like I am a sympathetic , innocent child that did nothing wrong.
And so the great lie began as Naruto shouted '' HEY old man what are you doing there that's the women's side of the hotsprings''
Naruto could hear the women's thundering footsteps and knew he had to go all out so he continued '' Get off me! No let go of me ''
Naruto pretended to scream in terror before to really sell the idea he took a heavily chakra infused leap , directly backwards into the hotspring , PURPOSELY landing head first on the concrete floor before letting out a very real whimper of pain causing the previously angry kunoichi to crowd around the boy who had got hurt trying to 'protect their modesty' to make sure he's alright ,forgetting their lack of clothing after all he's only a boy it's not like he was looking at them before or anything ,right?
Naruto's last thoughts before drifting off into injury induced unconciousness were of the beautiful purple haired lady currently hugging him and his final coherent sentance , thankfully for him not spoken aloud , 'Well now I know that if being a ninja doesn't work out I could always be an actor , that performance deserved an award. I gladly accept my notepad and any hugs from beautiful women on behalf of the academy.' If anyone noticed that Naruto passed out with a light blush and a small smile no one commented on it.
Meanwhile the Hokage wiped his blood-stained nose and deactivated the crystal ball he was using to keep an eye on Naruto with a laugh , completly amazed at the boy's daring and ingenuity and highly surprised he was able to lie , in a high stress situation, well enough to fool dozens of highly trained kunoichi ' then again' Sarutobi thought 'it could just be that seeing a child in pain touched that maternal instinct... wait what am I thinking Anko was part of that group'. Despite his thoughts the only outward response to the situation was a simple comment ''Naruto you truly are going to keep surprising me'' ''I think your father would be laughing and proud..ish , your mother not so much''
A/n that didn't suck as much as I thought it would. I just love the idea of Naruto spying on trained ninja, Getting Caught and STILL managing to lie his way out of it on the fly. I think that for the story it will mainly be unknown that Naruto is a pervert and that it is only his thoughts that really give him away with a few exceptions.