A/n I don't own the limerick Eroninja How and Dear GOD Why?

Naruto was at the academy today. This was normal . What wasn't normal was that he had not been in for the past week.
Naruto was having trouble with his feelings on the one hand he liked Sakura on the other his new knowledge said she was a bitch.
The reason was simple Naruto and his new found perspective had come to the conclusion that she was not worth it. It had been tough for Naruto to recognise that fact but it remains true that he had been nothing but courteous to her , since the first day at the academy and she had done nothing but hurt him both verbally and physically. Nothing Naruto had read supported this as acceptable behaviour and he pitied her because she has to date , given up her best (only) friend Ino for a boy (Sasuke) that barely recognised her existence , alienated said boy by acting like a fangirlish banshee and now driven away the only person that was ever consistantly nice to her (Naruto). Regardless of the feelings Naruto may have had for her he couldn't justify the time , effort and eventual heartbreak and so he moved on , in true prankster style of course.

Today Naruto was at the academy. This is normal. Everyone was terrified , this was not normal. For the past week Iruka had truly despaired for Naruto having noticed his strange behaviour when he went to check on him and had resolved to ask him about it next time they went out for ramen. Based on the superglue currently keeping him in his seat that could be awhile. Iruka took heart in the fact that he was not the only victim of Naruto's recovery because so far he had seen Sasuke's equipment replaced with porn , Kiba had a flea collar stuck around his neck and Ino's hair looked like it had been tie dyed.

Naruto was waiting for his latest victim. He had decided that today he was going to prank everyone , including Sakura something he had always avoided before now. His current target was Shino and he couldn't really think what he could do. He was about to move on and get him later when it came to him. Naruto had never seen Shino's eyes , Naruto was so stealing Shino's glasses but since he had no idea how yet he would move on for now. Next up was Chouji and he knew what he needed to do , he had to distract Chouji so he had a shot at Shikamaru later so he had liberally applied itching and sneezing powder sending the poor Akamichi into hysterics which were only made worse when someone questioned whether he needed the flea collor more than Kiba.
This left the sleeping Shikamaru undefended and since Naruto was sitting close to him he was able to get a marker and start drawing.
When he was finished Shikamaru had eyebrows that would put Gai's to shame , down one side of his face he had put a fairly standard message of 'for a good time call Shikamaru' and a penis leading into his mouth and on the other he had got creative and written a full limerick of
'An exceedingly fat friend of mine,
When asked at what hour he'd dine,
Replied, "At eleven, At three, five, and seven,
And eight and a quarter past nine.'
Naruto looked at what he had done and for a moment felt he had gone too far , then he remembered all the times he had been screwed over by Shikamaru's shadow possession jutsu , took a picture and moved on.

Naruto thought through pranking everyone but when he looked at Hinata he couldn't think of a single thing Hinata had done to him to justify it and in fact could not think of a time Hinata had been anything but nice, if a bit shy , towards anyone. Because of this Naruto decided to leave Hinata out of it and when he had fully absolved himself of his feelings for Sakura would think through what that meant. 'Regardless of anything else she's definatly one for the poetry list' Naruto thought ashamed at himself for having ignored the beautiful bluenette. 'Maybe it's the hair colour' Naruto questioned humourously ' first Sakura and her hair to match her namesake , then Anko's beautiful purple locks and now Hinata's lovely blue hair framing her angelic face' Naruto took a few moments to think on this before inevitably being distracted by exactly how he knew of Anko's beauty.

'Moving on before I get a nosebleed' Naruto decided. ' It's time for the main event' the 'main event' in this case being Sakura , Naruto had quite a few ideas but he was stuck between 2 in particular the first would involve having a small cherry tree growing from her forehead and the second would have her resemble a pink gorilla 'if she punches like one and has the same manners she should look the same too' Naruto thought darkly. Now Naruto wasn't actually capable of either feat but over the year or so of studying he had found many books on chakra control nothing very advanced but enough to manage a few prank genjutsu even with Naruto's chakra capacity. Naruto eventually considered it impossible to choose and so went with both. Anyone walking outside the academy that day checked themselves into the hospital because seeing a screming pink gorilla with a tree coming out of it just wasn't normal , even in a ninja village.
Naruto cleverly set his little trick on a delay so he could get around to Shino first. If Naruto had known then he would have reconsidered... or at least booked therapy in advance.

Naruto was terrified. This was the peak of abnormality. Under the circumstances however it was entirly justified. You know those blood vessels you can see when your eyes are bloodshot? Shino didn't have them , instead he had BUGS crawling around INSIDE HIS EYES.
Naruto tried to avoid swearing he really did , can't have girls thinking he's ungentlemanly after all, there were however times he felt it was neccessary so if questioned about it Naruto would firmly uphold that he was in the right.

''Shino you have BUGS in your EYES , what the fuck man I mean why would you do that HOW AND DEAR SWEET KAMI WHY would you allow that to happen to yourself. Naruto felt faint it could be the bugs it could be the gorilla that just attacked him but even so he couldn't help but feel a little smug , he had succeeded after all , he might wish he hadn't but still. As Naruto's vision was replaced by a curtain of blackness his last thought before passing into sweet oblivion was simple 'totally worth it I have pictures of everything' Naruto could always look at the bright side so despite his horror and possible concussion Naruto still passed out with a grin on his face.

'Yes' Iruka realised 'today was a perfectly normal day , Sasuke was brooding , Hinata was shy , Naruto was inflicting mental trauma on everyone in his vicinity , what had he been worried about , whatever problem Naruto was having he pitied it for having to face the mastermind behind such a catastrophe' Iruka decided as he abandoned his dignity , ripping the back of his combat pants on the superglued chair , to deal with the various problems of the class. Sasuke was passed out from blood loss , clearly he was not used to THAT kind of reading material ,Sakura had been knocked unconcious by her own stupidity , running headfirst into a wall. Iruka couldn't help but envy the class' wallflower because out of everyone Hinata was entirely unscathed Naruto might not have got round to pranking her 'or ' Iruka thought 'there could be another reason for her safety , I see mocking in Naruto's future'

A/n done , that was fun to write definatly one of my favorites. thank you to fan after reading your review I checked the chapter and was surprised to see that my formatting on notepad had been almost entirely ignored by fanfiction from now on I will check chapters ON FANFICTION rather than just notepad before posting