Hi lovelies!
So, that was long! I'm sorry for the delay, I just wanted to get done with the other fic before continuing on this one. It's so different from anything I've written before I wanted to do it right.
Anyway, here is a new chapter, and another one after that. It's the first part of a turning point for Blair. We really get to see who she is, what she evolved into. I hope it's not too much out of character.
And I hope you enjoy the reading.
When the daylight comes up, Dan walks Blair to the front door, hand curled around hers.
"I'll walk you downstairs" he says, looking around for his coat.
"You don't have to"
"I want to"
"No, Dan…" Blair puts a hand on his chest, fingers grazing slightly the cotton thread of his shirt.
Dan sighs, opens the door. His hand leaves hers, only to take her in his arms and press her tight against him. Blair closes her eyes, and takes in his smell. She can hear their common ragged breathing, and feel his in her neck. Shivers run through her spine and their heads turns, simultaneous, so their lips can meet for the umpteenth time ever since the previous night, in the jazz bar. Dan doesn't hesitate when he presses his tongue between her lips and Blair sighs into his mouth, getting used to the tingling.
Eventually the kiss softens, and Dan's hand goes up to cup the back of her head, his long thumb stroking the skin under her ear.
"Call me, if you need anything" he whispers.
Blair knows what he actually means is "If something goes wrong with Nate". Which is bound to happen. Her cellphone is off, and she didn't sleep home, last night. Nate is either worried, or enraged, or both.
She nods, and turns back, going down the stairs.
A walk of shame is not something appropriate for a married woman of the Upper East Side, and when she enters her building with her smudged make up and her ball gown at dawn, Blair fears to run into a neighbor. Or worse, Lily and Rufus who live in the penthouse. She wonders if it's visible, on her face, that she spent the night at another man's house. She wonders if people will know that she lied on another man's bed, let him kiss her, kissed him back while his hand made its way in her fancy underwear. She wonders if they'll suspect how unashamed and liberated she felt when he made her come with his fingers, lips pressed on the upper swell of her breast.
But she doesn't meet anyone, and when she presses her key into the hole and clicks her door open, another worry takes over, more consequent. It makes her a bit dizzy.
She doesn't have a small time to rest it off. Nate is standing in the foyer, already in his suit and briefcase in hand, ready to start the day. Blair puts the key back into her clutch, and they stare at each other. She cannot decipher what to expect from his expression.
"Where were you, last night?"
Blair once read that the most efficient lies are those closest to the truth, but with twisted details. Like the omission sin is more acceptable than any other one.
"I was at Dan's" she says, and swallows "I met him outside yesterday and I asked him if he could show me his book he is always bragging about; about the beginning of nude photography. I wanted to get my mind off the fertility test results, and I fell asleep in his spare room"
They did look at the book. While Dan was telling her the anecdote that comes with each photography, she kissed his neck, and his chest, and let her hand graze between his legs, taking a strange delight in the way his gasps scattered his sentences.
Nate stares some more, before taking two steps to get closer. Blair doesn't look up, eyes fixed on his shoulder.
"This cannot happen, ever again" she hears him say "Do you understand me?"
She doesn't like his tone. She doesn't like the way he seems to be giving her an order. But then, Blair realizes he still thinks she doesn't know anything about his own misstep; that she still thinks that he is the whitest lamb between the two of them. So she nods, compliant.
"I am sorry"
Nate doesn't say anything else. He just goes.
In her bath, Blair has trouble relaxing. Her entire bare skin in the water makes her wish that she had been naked in Dan's bed last night; that they had both been naked. She wonders what it would have felt like to hear him read her poetry, while pressing their hot flesh together.
It's in that bath that Blair realizes she is a cheater. If not fully physically, at least emotionally.
As per usual, as soon as she steps inside the museum, the outside world doesn't matter anymore. No Nate, no Humphrey, no one. Just her, alone with her paintings and her exhibits.
Blair has been sitting at her desk for only ten minutes when an intern, Amanda, knocks on the door.
"Mrs. Archibald, we have a problem"
Of course they do. Because asking for a smooth day at work when her life is about to turn upside down would be too much to ask.
"We couldn't get ahold of the photography of Buster Keaton in Montmartre, for the exhibit"
Blair's eyes settle dangerously on the intern, and she takes a little step back.
"The exhibit is in two weeks" Blair says "People will want to see it. Where is it?" she asks softly.
She hates yelling, at work and in general. It doesn't mean she is less pissed, and Amanda has been working here long enough to know it.
"It's at the Guggenheim, in Madrid. Apparently, they got a derogation to use it first"
Blair closes her eyes. She has had a very rocky relationship with one of the workers at the Madrid Guggenheim, and she already knows when her own exhibit will be launching, Maria Cartezar will be laughing in her tapas plate.
"How does a photography in permanent display at MoMA and needed in two weeks at the Met end up in Spain?"
It's only when Blair asks out loud, that the answer comes to her. She takes a stiff breath.
"That son of a bitch"
She takes her coat and purse with her, and leaves Amanda in her office. Blair does not take a cab. She walks in her heels all the way to MoMA, and doesn't stop when security tells her she can't go this way, and when the secretary tells her to present herself. Blair opens the door of the director's office, and slams it shut.
Gaspard, sitting at his desk, looks up from whatever he is reading.
"Give me the photograph" Blair says.
Gaspard sits back and smiles.
"It's in my museum; it's mine to give to whoever pleases me"
Blair takes a deep breath, and leans on his desk.
"It's Art, you little piece of shit" she says "It does not belong to you more than it belongs to me. However, I have a contract that allows me to borrow it for two months. So you're going to tell Maria Cartezar that she can suck it, and I want the photograph in my storage by next week. D'accord?"
"That contract can be revoked by the director of the lending museum, who now happens to be me" Gaspard leans forward too, stepping into the game "And the photograph will remain in Madrid. Unless you do something for me"
Another deep breath. Blair gives him a still smile that she expects still translates her animosity, and takes a seat. Gaspard sees her up for a deal, and he smiles even more.
"I want the Matisse" he says.
He doesn't need to say more for Blair to know that he is talking about the piece that was recently discovered and sold to the Art Institute of Chicago; which director's publicly loves Blair, and loathes Gaspard.
Blair snorts "There is no way Calvin is lending it to you. I don't make miracles happen"
"Then I guess you have a problem"
He still has that smug smile on his face that makes Blair's stomach turns. She knows there is more to it, because Gaspard knows what he asked her is a doomed request.
"What do you really want?"
Gaspard sits back again, his eyes narrowing on her.
"How close are you to Daniel?"
Something drops in Blair's stomach; it feels like fear, and shame.
"Why do you ask?"
"I've been trying to reach him, tell him I was coming to New York and that I would like to see him. He dodged my calls, perhaps even blocked my number. And I get the feeling that you know something"
"I know what a scumbag you are, if that's what you imply"
And he still smiles. Blair wonders how much she would regret slapping him.
"Is that what he told you about me?" Gaspard asks.
"It's what everyone thinks about you" Blair stands up "I'll get my photograph, one way or another. In the meantime, you stay away from me, from my exhibit, and from Dan Humphrey"
He doesn't say anything before she goes out the door.
Blair leaves the office late, that day. Going home to face Nate still makes her a little sick, and she wants to stay a step ahead of him. So when Chuck calls her to say he has results from the investigation, Blair can't help feeling a bit at luck.
He welcomes her into his office. For some reason, they chat before talking about anything else. They stand in front of his glass walls, and look over Manhattan at night. There is only the little stains of light outside and the lamp on his desk to allow them to see anything. Blair feels like she is in one of those modern films noir Humphrey likes so much.
She didn't call him that day, and he didn't call her either. Like nothing ever happened.
Chuck turns to her "Are you ready?"
Blair turns too, and nods. Chuck moves to his desk, takes in his hand a manila file.
"He is clean" Chuck says "We didn't find anything"
He hands her the file, and Blair doesn't take it. She shakes her head.
"I know what I heard"
"And I believe you" Chuck nods "I think he was just careful, before and after. Which means that it was probably premeditate, and that it might not have happened only once"
It's like an arrow in her heart. She swallows.
"Fine" she says "Fine. I'll confront him"
She wonders if she will indeed find the strength to stand before Nate and accuse him, and forget her own actions.
"I have another work for you. If you don't mind"
Chucks puts the file back onto his desk, and looks her in the eyes.
"I never mind" he says
"Gaspard Levalois" Blair swallows again, her throat dry "I need things on him, good enough for blackmail"
Chuck frowns.
"The guy we met last night? What's going on with him?"
"He is trying to sabotage my exhibit on La Belle Époque. And I won't let him"
Blair crosses her arms, feeling determined.
"I didn't know the art managing world could be so intense"
Blair turns back to the glass wall "There is a dirty side to every great thing. When your clients staying at the hotel look at your staff, all they see are employees with an impeccable presentation. They don't think about the Chinese workers in the sewing shop that are paid two dollars an hour to make the uniforms. When people come to museums, they don't think about what it took for the painting to get where it is. We are sharks, persuaded that we have the right to say what it's beautiful and what isn't. And Levalois chose to mess with the wrong kind."
Chuck stays silent for a moment. Then he says "I'm on it, then"
Blair turns back to him.
"Chuck, when your P.I. looks into him, he might find out something about someone close to us. Or to me, whatever"
"Humphrey"
Blair recalls Gaspard mentioned having known Dan in London, the previous night. It feels like ages ago. A time when she wasn't a cheater, and she didn't know what Dan's skin tastes like. She nods.
"Don't use it. Ever"
Chuck nods again "I won't"
Blair smiles, and reaches out to press his hand in her, grateful.
"Thank you, for everything."
When she starts to move away, Chuck doesn't let go of her hand. He uses the grasp to pull her close to him, and looks down to her.
"If Nate really cheated on you, he doesn't deserve you" Chuck says "He doesn't deserve your love"
Blair wets nervously her lips that she bites afterward.
"I think we've gone past the point where anyone deserve anyone, a long time ago"
Chuck doesn't answer, just keeps her hand in his for a few more seconds before letting go.
Nate is not home yet, when Blair gets there. She doesn't change before going to the kitchen, and starting to cook dinner. The routine doesn't get out of her system, even though everything is not like it usually is.
She sets the table, opens a bottle of wine, and turns on the news, like always. Then she sits, and waits. She hears Nate get home and walk directly toward the dining room, and it relieves her, in some way. She also hears him turn off the television in the living room on the way, and that makes her nervous.
He looks at her, when he enters the room. Apparently, he is up for following the routine too, because he takes off his jacket and sets it on the back of his chair, like he always does, before sitting.
"How was your day?" Blair asks
Nate shrugs, and holds out his hand for her plate. She gives it to him, and he serves her the salad.
"How was yours?" he asks, passing it back to her.
"I had a minor problem. Maria Cartezar again"
Nate grunts, and starts eating.
"Didn't ask the help of your friend Dan?"
Blair starts eating too, head down "He is a writer. There is nothing he can do to help"
She is startles when Nate puts down his fork and knife stiffly on the table. He looks her dead in the eyes.
"I don't think I like you hanging out with him"
"And I don't think you have any say in the matter"
Nate's jaw clenches "I am your husband, do I need to remind you?"
"Exactly. You are my husband, not my owner. And perhaps you should have reminded yourself, before you went out and screwed someone else"
Turns out she does have the strength to confront him. Or perhaps she is just too tired to keep on pretending. Nate frowns.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Blair? Is this about Serena again?"
"I know it's not Serena, but it's definitely someone"
"You are out of your mind" Nate is yelling, suddenly.
Blair doesn't flinch.
"I did not cheat on you! I would never" he says "Now can you tell me what this is really about?"
Blair shakes her head. What she is really tired of is people telling her she is crazy, when she knows what she heard. She holds out her hand.
"Give me your phone" she says.
Nate stretches his eyes, then laughs bitterly. He reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket to take out his phone, and holds it up so she can see it.
"Blair, once you do this, there is no going back. You're not going to find anything. No calls to any mistress, no compromising texts. There is nothing. But I will know that you don't trust me, and that you perhaps never have"
"Give me the fucking phone!"
Blair doesn't want to fall for his bluff. She is done doing it. Her hand shakes like crazy when Nate puts the phone into her palm. She presses the buttons, goes to his phone call history.
"So you're telling me that I won't find anything, right?" she asks, breath short as she scrolls.
"You're insane"
"You're telling me that the morning after we got back from Abu Dhabi, where we celebrated our five years anniversary, at five fucking sixteen in the morning, you didn't receive a call that made you say and I quote 'I really can't deal with it, right now. What happened was a mistake. I am with Blair now, and we're going to try for a baby. I'm sorry'?"
She looks up, to witness his reaction. She almost regrets the way his face falls, and his skin gets a little pale.
"Wait, Blair, don't do this" he stands up to try and snatch the phone from her.
Blair dodges, and holds up a hand to stop him, because it's already too late. She sees it, and it's an unregistered New York number. It lights something in Blair's memory, though. Nate stands next to her, and she drops his phone on the table, running to their bedroom.
"Blair, please wait, I can explain"
Blair still doesn't know what he wants to explain, but the fact that he does makes her reach her purse even faster on their bed. Blair takes out her own phone and types with trembling fingers the number she just saw on Nate's. She presses the call button, and her phone abides the basic law of modern technology that connects the number with the already known contact.
Blair drops it on the carpet, and looks down at her phone dialing Dan Humphrey. When she looks up, Nate's eyes are settled on the floor.
"No" she says "No, Nate, NO!"
Nate is about to answer something, but Dan's voice comes in between them, electronic.
"Hello? Blair?"
Blair puts both of her hands on her mouth to stop herself from screaming something –she doesn't know what –and she watches through her watery eyes Nate reach down to her phone and ending the call before turning it off.
Since she cannot stand anymore, she sits on the bed. Nate doesn't move. Blair doesn't want him to talk, but he does anyway.
"I never cheated on you" he says, but his tone is guilty "Never. It happened before you and I started again, before he left to London. We never talked again, until I saw him on the night of our anniversary"
Blair believes him, because everything is so incredibly clear now.
Dan and Nate were friends, but Dan wasn't invited to the wedding. At the restaurant, Dan gives Nate his number, and tells him they should catch up, but Nate never calls him back. Dan comes to the museum, and has lunch with Blair, and asks about how Nate is doing. Then when they bump into Nate, he is the one who suggests they change restaurant. Nate is never jealous when she becomes close to a man that isn't him, on the contrary, he keeps his distance. He does not accuse her of anything when she comes home from spending the night at the same man's place. When Blair repeats to Dan what she had heard that morning, in the bathroom, he tells her he is sorry, then he gets angry. Then when she asks him to take her to his place, Dan says "Blair, don't do this. I'm begging you"
Everything is clear now, and Blair feels so stupid.
"Neither of us meant it to happen. I wouldn't be able to explain it" Nate says softly "And that morning when he called me, he wanted to apologize. He told me he was happy for us, and that he was hoping we could be friends again. Then the two of you became friends, and I thought it was to get closer to me, but it seemed sincere. So I let it slide"
Blair now feels the tears drop from her eyes, onto her skirt.
"Go" she manages to say "Go away"
Nate doesn't move for a moment. Then he drops her cellphone on the bed next to her, before moving to his closet and takes a suit. Blair sits still while he goes to the bathroom, comes back out with his toothbrush and razor.
"I'll be at The Empire" he says "But only for tonight. I'm coming back tomorrow"
Blair doesn't answer. It's only when she hears the front door close that she lays on the bed, and she cries, loudly, hard sobs coming out from her chest and ripping her throat.
She falls asleep this way. When she wakes up, a soft hand is grazing her cheek. Her eyes flutter open, heavy, and she gets blinding by the bright light hitting Serena's golden hair.
"Hey, B" she whispers "Nate told me you two had a fight, and he wanted me to check on you"
Blair turns away from her, but doesn't close her eyes. She feels nauseous. Serena's hand settles on her shoulder.
"Is it about what you told me, the other night at dinner?"
Blair doesn't answer. Serena sighs.
"I'll draw you a bath"
When Blair gets out from the bathroom, a bit relaxed, Serena has cooked her breakfast. They eat together in silence.
"Can you go get me my cellphone?" Blair asks, voice hoarse.
Serena obliges. She watches Blair while she turns on her phone. Three missed calls from Dan, and one from Nate. She looks up to Serena.
"You can go. I have work to do"
Serena stares, worried and Blair doesn't even know how she manages a small smile.
"I'll be alright"
Serena nods, hugs her, and leaves.
Blair makes her phone call, and dresses herself before going to MoMA. It's the same parade as the day before, with the security and the secretary. She closes quietly the door to Gaspard's office behind her. He seems slightly annoyed to see her. Blair takes out from her purse the contract that was faxed to her, earlier.
"You'll get the Matisse in May, for two weeks. Now give me my photograph"
She puts the paper on his desk. Gaspard eyes her suspiciously, before reading the contract. Then he pulls one of his from a drawer, and signs at the bottom.
"Maria Cartezar will receive everything within the day" he says "The photograph will be at the Met in two days, at most"
Blair turns around to leave without any other words.
"You went through such lengths just to keep me away from him" she hears Gaspard say "What is he to you?"
Blair turns back.
"The two of you can rot in hell, together"
She leaves, then. When she gets in her own office, Blair takes out her cellphone, one last time. Chuck answers after the first ring.
"Andrew Tyler is not that fast" he says
"Drop it. I have someone else I want him to look into. I don't know her full name, but she was once called Emily Humphrey. When she was married"
Chuck pauses on the other end "The name is McQueen, and may I ask the motive?"
"Do you have to know?"
Chuck sighs "I don't. Consider it done"
Blair hangs up, and turns off her phone again. She looks around her office, trying to get into the peaceful state the place usually puts her in. She can't. She allows herself to admit how hurt she feels; how betrayed.
Blair Archibald is forgotten, and she feels like Blair Waldorf again. The one people don't hurt without retaliation. And Dan Humphrey is going to be the first one to go down.
So perhaps some of you expected this turn of events, perhaps you didn't, perhaps you want to stop, perhaps you want to continue. The choice is yours, the next chapter is there waiting for you. I just want to precise that this is a Dan/Blair story. All the other romantic or whatever affairs involving one of them belong completely in the past -except for the part where Blair is married to Nate, obviously.
Lovelycupcake:Non, tu n'étais pas à côté de la plaque, mais tu t'en étais doutée tellement vite, et tu avais été la seule -et je dis bien l'unique ultime- alors je ne voulais pas tout dévoiler! Gros bisous tout de même!