I really liked the mixed reviews for the last chapter :D It's a like it or hate it kind of thing and I guess some people really did hate how mean Yumi was … Which Kinda made me wanna give Yumi yet another shot at being mean (Please don't hate me, if you must then be mad at Yumi)
So here goes….
One more time, two perfect lines of Shingami aligned, and in the middle the psychiatrist stood facing the old man.
However, much to everyone's surprise, the woman looked all the more different. Hell, if those people didn't recognize her spiritual pressure, they would've locked her up assuming that she was a random idiot who snuck into Seireitei.
Rose was clad in a little pink dress, her glasses and almost omnipresent doctor's coat all gone. Her hair once brown and short, somehow, transformed into a bunch of long, flowing blonde locks. Her eyes were now blue; and a myriad of vibrant colors covered her face. She wore incredibly high heels, making her look as if she was standing on a platform. Her breasts were pushed way up in a way that would've made even Tousen take notice.
The only thing that was kept the same was the little journal she always had in her hand, now held via a row of pink painted digits.
When she walked in, a couple of heads turned, even Kuchiki Taicho seemed to notice the transformation. However, he hid his amusement with a cough and turned to look at So-taicho.
Rose inhaled a greedy gulp of air, and flipped her hair to the side as she felt the weights of the stares directed her way.
By her side, the dignified eighth division captain, was practically drooling, held back from putting the moves on the woman, only by the weight of the reprimanding glare Soifon was shooting his way.
"Rose-San." The captain commander spoke, his deep voice easily echoing throughout the silent hall. "You…." He paused. "Appear different."He commented. Old man or not, he was still a man and he has long since learned (from years and years of experience) that not noticing a woman's new look, regardless of who that woman was; would yield nothing but a heap of trouble.
Rose blinked, feeling a bit self conscious.
"Oh," Rose started.
"So that is what that idiot Yumichika was working on." Zaraki concluded, scanning her from head to toe. "Not bad." He said approvingly.
Well, she knew for a fact that it was bad that she let the pretty man mess with her appearance like that. But, by God, after the blows he dealt to her self esteem, she just needed his approval so badly, that she actually opted to seek him our and ask for his advice. Needless to say, the man turned into a cheerful mass of feathers at the thought of administering a makeover; before he went crazy, transforming her into a Barbie look alike. And finally, after hours and hours of beauty work, the dazzling beauty gave her his stamp of approval and sent her on her way, telling her that she now finally looks very similar to a woman.
"Zaraki-Taicho your manners are inexcusable." Byakuya reprimanded.
"Well, good," Zaraki started, "Cuz I ain't looking for an excuse." He ground.
The Kuchiki heir stiffened but before he could say a word the commander cleared his throat.
"Rose-san," The old man started, "this session is held to review your progress with the members of the Gotei 13." He announced, before pointing at a large screen that stood to his side. "The twelfth division has supplied us with this screen as means to view your old sessions." He finished impassively.
Rose gulped.
That'll never end well.
30 minutes later, the normally calm meeting hall was alight with chatter. Some people (Kyoraku Shunsui and Zaraki for the most part) were laughing hysterically, while others (Byakuya, Toshiro and Soifon) were livid. The rest were amusedly analyzing the situation.
After all, watching Zaraki and Byakuya fight over a baby and then proceeding to watch the dignified captains and lieutenants of the gotei 13th discuss matters of the heart, before fast forwarding to Soifon lividly attempting to kill a dumbstruck Toshiro, came as a complete surprise to most people.
For her part, Rose was desperately attempting to sink lower towards the floor in a desperate attempt to make herself look invisible.
A second later, the feared So-taicho tapped his cane on the floor, causing silence to descend on the room.
He fixed the woman with a terrifying glance.
"None of your sessions so far has yielded any fruitful results." He surmised. "I understand that your task is hard, however, it is unacceptable for your sessions to yield but more disturbances." He reprimanded in a strong tone.
The psychiatrist blanched.
"Well, her session with Ayasegawa yielded some results." Ukitake's best friend pointed out, referring to her stunning new appearance.
For her part, Rose desperately clung to this sliver of hope. At least her last session, while completely obliterating her self esteem did not end in a fight.
"You see, my last session actually did yield amazing results." She lied through her teeth. "As a matter of fact, fifth seat Ayasegawa was in to be treated for a severe case of narcissistic personality disorder. However, after our long session together I could safely conclude that he has managed to take some proper steps in the right direction." She pushed on in fake confidence. "He has actually decided to start helping people."
Well that part was true. He did agree to help people. In his own words 'help ugly people so that they can no longer mar the beauty of this world by their eyesore of an existence', but no one really needed to know the details.
"As you can see," She continued, commending herself for her Oscar worthy performance. "He started by helping me better my looks. You see, this was an experiment and he managed to put in time and effort into changing my appearance." She paused, raising her head in fake victory. "Getting a narcissist to devote time and effort to helping others is quite an achievement if I do say so myself." She declared.
Well, it really was an achievement, one that she accomplished through losing every last shred of her self-esteem and desperately groveling for his assistance.
The room fell silent for a second, as everyone pondered what she has just said. Yumi, helping others was something that ranked up there on the list of things that had less chances of happening than Zaraki putting on a wig and a dress and singing 'I feel pretty'.
Zaraki looked pensive (rare occurrence by the way), "He did offer to take the little brat off my hands for a while." He pondered. "I didn't even have to break any of his bones to get him to take her; he just offered and took her to some festival in the human world." He finished shocking the entire room.
Rose actually looked victorious, breathing a sigh of relief. Lying did work after all.
Chatter broke throughout the hall, as everyone started rethinking their view of the world. If Yumi turned into a good Samaritan then something sure was off with their world view. That or the universe is coming to an end.
"I see." So-Taicho mused, causing the chatting captains to shift their attention over to him. He paused for a second, before popping one of his perpetually closed eyes open and turning his head towards the freaky captain of the 12th division. "Kurotsuchi-Taicho." He started in his normal husky voice. "Would it be possible for that screen of yours to show us fifth seat Ayasegawa's current whereabouts?" He questioned, unable to hide the tinge of curiosity that he felt. "It would be constructive for us to view the fruits of Rose-san's work."
Mayuri blinked having managed to tune out the entire meeting, in favor of …. Well just in favor of tuning out the entire meeting.
"So-Taicho," He started in his trademark deranged tone. "This invention of mine could show you anyone, anywhere, just by zeroing in on his spiritual signature." He said haughtily, as he walked over to the screen standing in the middle of the room and started pushing some buttons glued to its side.
A few seconds of intense button pushing and Mayuri mumbling, and the entire room focused their attention on a particularly bizarre scene.
The eleventh's fifth seat was in an excruciatingly colorfully decorated place. However, what was truly bizarre was that he was surrounded by a mob of women, all of whom having the unmistakable appearance of soccer mums.
The women were glaring at the pretty officer with killer intent.
"What did you just say?" One of the women roared, taking a threatening step towards the good-looking man.
For his part, Yumi appeared to be completely unfazed. "You heard me." He twitted happily. "Your baby is ugly." He declared earnestly, causing the woman to twitch in pent up anger.
"Actually, all of your babies are ugly."He added scanning the entire room, which was littered with young children and newly born infants.
"Why you….." A redheaded mother exclaimed, wrapping an arm around her little girl's shoulder.
"Oh come on," Yumi said giving a sincere smile. "I know that as a rule babies are supposed to be adorable. I used to believe in this rule, believe me. I believed it until I saw those infants of yours." He said cringing at the last few words. "Oh, they give children a bad name." He added, causing the eyes of all the women in the vicinity to glint with unmatched wrath.
However, before the women could attack, he pushed on.
"This, however," He started, drawing the attention of everyone to the fact that he had a little munchkin standing by his side. "Is a true beauty." He declared.
Yachiru was clad in a golden sequin dress, her characteristic pink locks pulled back into a high bun, leaving only a few strands to frame her deceptively innocent face. Her usually pink lips were painted red and a couple of feathers hung from her head, shifting the attention to the fact that her eyelashes were dripping of mascara.
The lieutenant smiled happily, as she looked up at her fifth seat.
"She," Yumi started in a deep voice as if making a declaration. "Will win this pageant. Well, that just goes without saying, right ladies?" He added in a friendly tenor, "I'm sorry for ruining your chances, but did you really think that you could win this thing with such unsightly infants." He twitted companionably.
Now, as usual the 11th division's lieutenant knew exactly when to duck out of harm's way. This time was no different. Yachiru parried and quickly disappeared from sight as the women lunged forwards in pure jungle cat fashion. They moved in for the kill.
For her part, the pink haired troublemaker glanced back impassively at her immobilized underling. She soon brushed off the whole thing opting out of helping the man, as she made her way out of the colorful room and onto a stage.
The girl walked confidently, completely unperturbed by the many lights and the cheering audience.
She promptly took center stage, and gladly accepted the microphone that was offered to her. Granted she opted to lick it, just to make sure it wasn't made out of chocolate, but other than that, the young girl was an utter pro.
"What's your name, sweetie." One of the judges currently perched on a podium near the stage questioned in a motherly tone.
"Yachiru." The girl said in an adorable manner, causing the entire room to break out in a collective "aweeee".
"Yachiru, can you tell me a bit about your hobbies?" The woman questioned.
The girl nodded happily. "I like candy, stuffed animals," She started gesturing animatedly, "I also like travelling on kenny's shoulder, beating 'Maki Maki', ' Feathers' and 'Shiny Head' and I take lots of pictures of Byakushi when Byakushi isn't looking."
"B-Byakushi?" The woman questioned confusedly. Her confusion mirrored on the faces of all the people in the audience.
"Hai, Hai," The girl nodded. "I made a deal with midget-chan and she lets me in at night to take pictures with Byakushi when Byakushi sleeps. Midget-chan is Byakushi's sister." She finished insightfully.
"Oh."The judges said, not knowing what else to say.
"Umm," The lady judge started. "So, what do you want to do when you grow up, Yachiru-chan?" She pushed on. You really can't go wrong with such a question.
"I want to be a man." She declared happily, once again stunning everyone.
"W-Why?"
"Well," She said in all seriousness, her lips coming together in an adorable contemplative pout. "I want to marry Byakushi when I grow up. This way I will be able to braid Byakushi's hair and play with Byakushi all the time and get lots of candy." She then frowned. "But Kenny says that I can't marry Byakushi because Byakushi is a girl and so am I. So I want to be a guy." She finished in utter determination.
When the entire room appeared to be frozen and no one appeared to have the presence of mind to further question her, the girl simply produced a lollypop out of nowhere. Plopping the aforementioned item in her mouth, Yachiru exited the stage and made her way over to the room she was originally in.
Yumi, who by now was lying face down on the floor, clothes torn and looking like the picture boy for 'desolation weekly', was swiftly dragged across the floor by the nonchalant lieutenant, while the women who were preparing for the second round of 'beat the crap out of that bastard' were stunned speechless by the little girl's inhuman strength.
Back in Seireitei,
All hell broke loose, as Kuchiki Byakuya's reiatsu flared, hand flying to the hilt of his Zanpakuto, eyes fixating on Zaraki.
Instantaneously, Kumamura Taicho and Ukitake Taicho were by his side restraining him.
For their parts, Soifon and the Unohana were busy attempting to restrain Zaraki who vowed to kill both Yumichika and Rose for dressing Yachiru up like that.
While Kyoraku was doubled over on the floor spasming from laughter.
Toshiro just didn't care.
And
The head captain was glaring daggers at the psychiatrist.
Who bowed her head and sighed not even bothering to feel scared having had already given up all hope by this point in time.
Now I'm really grateful for all you amazing reviewers out there. You give me a lot of inspiration and that's why I'm updating more often now ;) So thank youuu :D
I don't really know who to do next.
I guess Soifon might be my best option, or even Yoruichi and Soifon together, or I might do something completely different :P
Don't really know yet.
But as always, I really appreciate your input. So please review and let me know what you think.