Disclaimer: MINE!! Mine mine mine!!!! Or not.
Warnings: The usual. Swearing, Angst, Yaoi and subjects which could offend some readers.
AN: I know, I know, it's literally been months since I've updated this story. I really have no excuse. But at least now, I'm determined to get a move on and finish this story! Thanks for all your encouragements and kicks in the behind, and I hope this very belated update meets your satisfactions!
Chapter 17: Be Gentle With Me
Pale-faces and hollowed eyes
Buried under ruptured skies
Not every smile
means I'm laughing inside
Two-faced and compromised
I've enraptured you with lies
Everything means nothing
and tonight everything is mine
From the Bottom of My Heart by the Wallflowers
-
Ten ten was tired and angry and more frustrated then she could ever remember being. Shikamaru, the only man she had ever met that could infuriate her so much was also the one who held her heart in his hand. And not only did he seem to not realize it, but he seemed not to even spare her a second thought. That was enough to make her want to cry.
She'd had enough of trying to be nice to everyone at dinner, so she had made excuses, claiming that she wasn't feeling all that well, and had slipped away. She needed time alone before she snapped at some undeserving soul.
What she really needed though, was a long hot bubble bath, some quiet music and a good book to make her forget Shikamaru for awhile.
Now that she was alone, she had calmed down considerably. What made things doubly as hard though, was the fact that everyone knew what was going on between her and Shika. It was hard enough trying to get a guy interested enough to make a move, but it made it even harder being in the spotlight 24/7.
The hall was dark, and as she rounded the corner, someone slammed into her, sending her staggering back. Alarmed and disorientated, she let out an undignified squeak as she regained her balance.
Bewildered, she stared after Naruto's fleeing figure and wondered what in the world was going on.
"Naruto?" She called uncertainly.
Surely she hadn't been the only one who had noticed that he had been acting strangely lately. And had those been tears on his face? Why would Naruto be crying? And why had he been...upstairs of all place?
Her own worries forgotten for the moment, she decided to follow in the direction that Naruto had retreated in.
It wasn't long before she found herself outside Naruto's closed bedroom door. For a moment she concentrated hard, listening for something, anything to indicate that he was in some kind of distress.
When she didn't hear anything, she went to turn away, but a muffled noise halted her in her tracks. When she heard it again she was certain.
Naruto was crying.
Tenten bit her lip. She desperately wanted to go in and comfort him, to find out what was wrong and to try and fix things for him, but she had been told numerous times by both Iruka and Kakashi that unless Naruto offered or came to her for help, she shouldn't intrude upon his privacy. In fact, they'd all been told. It had aroused a lot of curiosity about her soft-spoken friend, but they had all managed to give him his privacy.
It hadn't taken a genius to figure out that something bad had happened in his past. One of the hardest things to witness was a friend in pain and knowing that you couldn't help them was worse.
Very reluctantly, and with her heart screaming at her to turn back, Tenten left quietly. Whatever was wrong with him, she'd have to figure out on her own and quietly. If there was anything she could do to help unobtrusively, then she would do it.
But what had made him cry?
-----
Sasuke glared at the canvas before him as if it had personally insulted him. He'd been full of pent up energy and anger all night, and he knew that there was no point in trying to sleep. He'd gone out with Ino and Neji, and tried not to show them how thoroughly pissed off he was with them. He'd danced with a few hot chicks, and even a few guys too. But his heart hadn't been in it at all. All he could think of was those eyes, those haunting, empty eyes, and the tears that had filled them. And that golden hair that shone like sun-kissed wheat. That smooth, tanned skin that just begged to be touched, and kissed.
It was those eyes that he couldn't get out of his mind.
Inwardly he cursed the day he had met Naruto. Things were spiraling out of control, and if there was one thing Sasuke hated, it was not knowing what was coming at him head on. That was Naruto's fault. He had blinded him to everything clear and simple. He sucked the simplicity out of everything and turned his world into one tangle of complications. That's what he was, Sasuke decided as he threw his paint brush down. He was some kind of demented vampire. Not dark, no. Not cruel or evil or anything of the kind. He imagined that Naruto was incapable of anything even remotely mean spirited. No, Naruto was like a vortex. A black hole that churned everything around and turned it upside down.
Sasuke surveyed the canvas before him as he contemplated the decidedly non-evilness of Naruto's vampire-like ways.
Before him, the eyes of the young woman he was painting were dead. His art lacked life, lacked the emotion that they had once held. And once again, it was Naruto's fault. He had to get this art series finished if he had any chance of passing his Art course. And not only was it no where near finished, but his subject matter had burned out on him as well. The models he used for his artworks were real people. People he knew from university. People he saw on the street. People he slept with. That was the great thing about going to University on the other side of the country. You could be who you wanted, do what you wanted, within moderation of course. Sasuke had found that all those years of suppression he had suffered through had meant nothing in the outside world.
So he went out. He smoked, and drank and had sex. Lots of it too. But nowadays, his appetite for that had disappeared as well. He hadn't been back home in so long, that he had forgotten so many things. He had forgotten about just how much his brother got on his nerves. He had forgotten the softness of his mothers arms, and the way he could wander around the mansion and still feel like he was intruding upon somewhere he shouldn't be. He had also forgotten the overwhelming beauty of the estate he had grown up on. The way the trees towered in the morning light, the way the mist drifted amongst the great trunks as if moved by something otherworldly. The way the sunrise turned the horizon gold and pink. Sasuke could not remember a time when he had been here and had not been torn between love and spite. He loved the estate, loved spending time with the horses and with his mother, but he could not help but feel suppressed. As if he was trapped in a place where he didn't want to be.
He had his father to thank for that. His dominating presence and strict adherence to what was proper had never failed to rub Sasuke the wrong way. The mere though of his father made his blood boil. And not only that, but his father had soured this place for him. Like a bad odor that would not go away, the only place he felt anything close to peace was when he was riding.
It had always been that way. From a young age, he had been taught to ride. It had been instilled within him that horse riding was befitting of a man in his position. It was a recreation for the rich, something that was dignified, and worthy of respect. Sasuke believed that that was a load of bullshit. What he hadn't been taught though, was the love that he felt for the horses he rode. They were uncomplicated. Easy to understand if you knew what to look for. In fact, the only time he had ever felt anything like freedom was on horse back. Flying over jumps, or just walking, riding was his escape.
As was painting. But now he had to admit to himself that his paintings had lost the edge that had made them so unique, so captivating. He needed to get it back if he had any hope of graduating with a half decent grade in the subject. Art was yet another thing that his father saw as necessary to one with his breeding. Art was something for the rich. Which was also bullshit.
Art was emotion. Art was everything around him, if only it could be seen without judgment. Without prejudice.
That's what Sasuke was trying to convey to his audience. Although his portraits were in black and white, it was impossible for the viewer to confuse that with the depths of raw emotions in those that he painted. The message that he was conveying was that emotions could not be measured. They weren't as black and white as some believed the world was.
Naruto was evidence of that. Never had he come across someone who was...so in tune with what they were feeling. And never had he seen that kind of depth of emotion in anyone before. Sasuke saw that for the curse that it was though. Naruto must feel everything, every twinge every tiny little wound that was inflicted. And he wasn't the type of person to forget a hurt. No, he was more vulnerable than anyone he had ever met before. And if he was honest with himself, that depth of emotion made him uneasy. It wasn't natural for things to be as amplified as they were to Naruto.
It made him wonder though. What had happened to make him that way? Surely he hadn't always been like that? Naruto had the most beautiful smile. And those eyes...
His anger with the nights event temporarily forgotten, Sasuke discarded his half finished work, and set a blank canvas on the easel. His hand moved with a mind of its own, dipping into the pools of paint, and sliding effortlessly over the canvas, needing no guidance.
Before he knew it, a pair of the bluest eyes was looking back at him. Sasuke was enthralled...
-
The next morning, his mind was made up. There was no way he could let things end like this. And there was definitely no way he was letting Naruto get away with such a crappy excuse as the one he had given last night. If there was one thing that Sasuke couldn't care less about, it was rank and propriety. No, there was no way he was letting something his father had drummed into his head get in his way.
He had stayed up late painting. At three in the morning, he had fallen into bed with a half finished painting in the other room and a head full of half finished thoughts. It was late morning when he woke. No doubt Ino and Neji were still in bed, sleeping off their hangovers.
Sasuke, however, shoved himself off of his bed and stripped off last nights sweaty clothes. The shower in his bathroom was glass, and soon the room was cloudy with steam as he had a hot shower to wash away all the residue of last nights unpleasantness.
He had known, when he had looked into Naruto's eyes last night, that it wasn't what either of them wanted. Neither of them wanted to be together, but neither of them wanted to be apart. Sasuke had a knack for reading people. But there was one person he couldn't read and that was Naruto. Naruto intrigued him. He played games with his head, he never let Sasuke rest with those eyes of his. He was an enigma to Sasuke, and one he fully intended to figure out. He wasn't sure how far this thing would go, nor was he sure how far he wanted it to go, but he damn well knew that it hadn't ended yet.
Sasuke found Naruto in the stable yard talking to a scarred face man (Raidou?) as they inspected a chestnuts raised hoof together. He had somehow managed to evade attending a meeting with Itachi and some of his father's associates. Heaven forbid he insult some of his father's more respectable clients with his bad temper. Not only would Itachi flay him alive verbally, but he would probably get into a major bust up with his father, and that was the last thing he needed.
Upon seeing Naruto, however, he felt his anger rekindle, and he knew that this wouldn't be as easy as he'd thought it would be.
Let it not be said that Sasuke was unaware of the his own limits
Both Naruto and the scarred man looked up when he pulled his convertible into the courtyard. There was no mistaking the unmasked terror in Naruto's face as he stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut. It had not been his intention to upset Naruto, but now he saw that he had no choice if he was to really get through to him.
He was in for a rough time.
-
Naruto felt his heart constrict with unbridled fear when he saw Sasuke step out of the car. The Uchiha's face was set in s fierce scowl, and there was no mistaking the anger in his eyes, or in the set of his jaw.
Naruto set the chestnuts hoof down gently and straightened. Raidou frowned and followed the direction of his gaze. When he saw Sasuke though, understanding dawned on his face, and he took the lead rope from his hand.
"I'll put her away. You just deal with him. Call if you need help," he murmured in his ear.
Naruto could do nothing but nod dumbly as he watched Sasuke stalking towards him.
He was angry alright, and if the way he was stalking towards Naruto as if he were his prey was anything to go by, all of that anger was directed towards him. And he was not ashamed to admit to himself that he was terrified.
When Sasuke was angry though, he was impressive. His eyes spat fire at anything he laid eyes on, and the tension that ran through his body was invigorating and exciting. Sasuke was like a god of thunder as he joined Naruto.
For a moment, he just stared down at him, not saying anything.
When Naruto finally worked up the courage to open his mouth to say something, Sasuke beat him to it.
"You're coming with me today. I think there's some things we need to clear up," he said coldly.
Naruto shivered inwardly. Although he was scared of what was going to happen, something was telling him that Sasuke would never hurt him, and would never lay a hand on him in anger. Despite everything, he knew he would be safe within his presence. But his heart might not be and that was what he was afraid of.
And even though he was afraid, something within him was alight with a breath-taking excitement. Even he could admit that Sasuke was sexy when he was angry. That didn't stop him from being afraid though, nor did it stop him from protesting. He knew that they needed to be apart, if they were going to change things between them.
Inside he knew that Sasuke wouldn't let this go without a fight, and he resigned himself to turning Sasuke down as best as he could. He wasn't sure if he could withstand the storm that Sasuke would bring to him.
"But I have work..." he protested feebly.
"I've talked to Kakashi. He's covered you for the rest of the day. You're coming with me," Sasuke replied grimly. Having said that, he grasped Naruto's arm and led him towards his car.
There was no way Naruto could fight against Sasuke; he was stronger than he was, and there was no way he could get out of whatever confrontation was coming their way.
Naruto had no choice but to follow. He took two steps to every one of Sasuke's. And while Sasuke's grip on his arm wasn't painful, it was tight. He didn't have the nerve to try and pull away, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.
Sasuke opened the passenger door and let go of his arm.
"Get in."
Naruto hesitated for the smallest of seconds before he did as he was told. The stony look on Sasuke's face told him that there was no way he'd accept no for an answer.
Meekly, he did as he was told and slid past Sasuke into the passenger seat of the expensive convertible.
The Uchiha slammed the door with a little more force than necessary and strode around the hood of the car. He joined Naruto in the car still carrying that brooding silence that set Naruto's teeth on edge. The engine started with a smooth purr, and before Naruto knew it, they had turned in a neat circle and were speeding off down the road that lead to the house.
His heart was pounding in his chest, and his stomach churned uneasily. Naruto found he couldn't look at Sasuke, so he looked out the window instead, and watched as they passed the majestic beauty of the mansion.
The trees on either side of the long driveway that led to the gates were ever greens, and their color was a refreshing change from the gloomy gray backdrop the sky created.
Neither of them spoke a word as Sasuke pulled the car out onto the road and stepped on the accelerator. The road upon which the Uchiha's estate opened onto was a beautiful country road lined on one side by a forest and on the other side (once you got past the wall of the Uchiha estate) was a view of beautiful rolling hills. Every now and then another estate would break the view of those break taking hills, but the Uchiha Estate was by far one of the biggest country estates any family could boast of.
Sasuke reached an intersection and took the road that lead away from the town. This country road continued its winding course up towards the hills. It stretched out along the summit of those hills for a few miles, and wound it's way towards the distant mountains. The forests that covered those mountains was mystical, and peaceful, and could make anyone's heart feel at ease. In the mountains several of the most luxurious resorts and hotels resided, popular getaways for the rich and the famous.
It seemed that Sasuke did have a destination in mind, so Naruto keep quiet, unwilling to break the tense silence between them.
He risked a glance at Sasuke though, out of the corner of his eye. The dark haired man seemed to be lost within his thoughts, his eyes slightly narrowed at he maneuvered the car smoothly around the many twists and turns.
Soon they were upon the crests of the hills, and Naruto turned to look out the window.
Naruto shifted uncomfortably on the clean leather of the passenger seat. He was still wearing his work jeans, and a old button down dark blue top that had once belonged to his father, so it hung on his frame loosely. He wore a white shirt underneath, so he wasn't cold in the air-conditioned car. His work boots were caked in dust, and he had never sat in a nicer car than Sasukes before. He felt bad about dirtying the sharp smelling leather interior of the car though, so he subtly checked to see if he was spreading dirt around.
"I um...I'm sorry about getting your car dirty," Naruto offered tentatively, hoping to soothe some of Sasuke's anger away.
Sasuke turned a contemptuous eye towards him before turning back to the road again.
"I don't care." he replied shortly. "It's just a car."
Naruto was couldn't say that he was surprised by the abrupt answer; if he hadn't learned by then that Sasuke seemed to hold any stereotyping that applied to his class in extreme disregard, then he would have been the stupidest person alive. Really, he wasn't even sure why he'd said it. Trying to break the ice with Sasuke seemed to be impossible.
Naruto was reduced to sitting in silence and looking out the window. The minutes stretched on uncomfortably, and Naruto clasped his hands together to try and hide the way they were trembling. He wished fervently to be back at the stables, where everything made sense and where the people were easier to understand than the enigmatic man sitting beside him.
"We're here."
Naruto jumped at the sound of Sasuke's voice and sat up straighter to look around. He was rather surprised to find that Sasuke had pulled into a small, deserted look out just off the main road.
Sasuke cut the engine and opened his door.
"Get out."
A thousand things were running through his mind. Kiba's voice was echoing in his mind, telling him that if Sasuke wanted to dispose of his body, here would be the perfect place. Naruto cursed himself once more for following Sasuke. He knew that there was no way Sasuke would hurt him, but he couldn't help the nerves building in his stomach.
Slowly following Sasuke's lead, he opened the door and scrambled out, closing the door rather loudly after him and leaning self-consciously against the car.
Sasuke had rounded the hood of his car and came to stand in front of him.
"Naruto. Look at me." he commanded, his voice hard.
Naruto complied immediately, looking up into flinty eyes that bored into him.
"If I ever hear another word similar to those you spoke to me yesterday come out of your mouth, I will personally make sure you live to regret it."
He was regretting it already, but knew better than to say anything.
"I would have hoped that by now you would have been able to understand that I don't care about rank or propriety," Sasuke snapped, anger seething from him.
He was honestly shocked; this was the most open that he had ever seen Sasuke. Uchiha's never displayed emotions, and they never, ever let anyone catch a glimpse of the kind of raw anger he was seeing from Sasuke.
If he was so upset...so angry because of what Naruto had said last night, did that mean that he was honestly upset? That maybe he genuinely did care about Naruto and what he thought? Or was he simply upset that Naruto had slighted him and denied him something that he wanted?
The more he thought about the last option, the more unlikely it seemed. Maybe Sasuke really did care about him then?
"Sasuke, I..."
Sasuke glared at him. "You might care what others think, but I don't. If I ever hear you talk about yourself or me like that again, I swear to god I'll..."
"Sasuke..."
"Just...shut up, Naruto."
Naruto backed up a little more so his back was pressed against the cool metal of the car as Sasuke stepped into his personal space.
"I don't care what they think. I just want..."Sasuke murmured, his eyes softening as they drifted over his face.
"What do you want from me?" Naruto finally managed to blurt, trying not to get distracted by the heat Sasuke's body was radiating. "I..I mean, where is this going? Surely you know..." he paused to swallow. "Surely you know that there's no future in this. In me."
He jumped when warm fingers caressed his cheek and slid up to entwine in his hair.
"Naruto...you're always thinking. Always over analyzing things. Can't you just...live in the moment with me?" Sasuke said quietly. "Just feel me here, as I am. Don't worry about the future for once. Let's just live in the moment and see where it takes us."
Sasuke's words washed over him like music, and he wondered if Sasuke had ever considered writing poetry. He had a gift with words, and whenever Naruto was with him, he found it impossible to doubt this beautiful man standing before him. No, it was when they were apart that he started to doubt whatever it was between them.
But when Sasuke was touching him, pressed against him like he was, and whispering words that had more wealth that any gold to him, there was no way he could refuse. Nor did he want to. He wanted Sasuke, and he wanted what they could have together.
"Okay."
"Sorry?" Sasuke pulled back slightly, frowning. Naruto hesitantly reached a hand up and curled it around a solid forearm.
"I said okay," he said more firmly, meeting Sasuke's gaze.
A slow smile curled Sasuke's full mouth, and banished his remaining anger.
"Good. I'm glad."
Naruto returned his smile shyly, and lowered his gaze as he tentatively rubbed his thumb over Sasuke's bare skin.
He jumped once more when Sasuke's fingers brushed over the graze on his cheek gently.
"Does it hurt?"
Mutely, Naruto shook his head, still trying to wrap his head around what had just taken place. He had to fight to stop from smiling. He felt lighter than he could ever remember, as if the cloud of sorrow and pain that followed him around had been banished.
"How'd it happen?"
"I uh...I fell. Off one of the dirt bikes."
Sasuke nodded, and trailed his fingers down to his lips. Naruto shuddered as the pad of his thumb brushed over his lower lip. He barely had time to register Sasuke's soft smile as before he was being thoroughly kissed.
All he could do was respond as Sasuke enveloped him in his arms. His lips were warm and softer than he remembered, his slightly spicy scent surrounded him in a hazy cloud of warmth.
Sasuke was asking for entrance and he granted it with all his heart, welcoming Sasuke into his heart and his life.
-
"I've got to get back to work soon," Naruto told Sasuke quietly, as Sasuke turned another corner.
The quiet was much more comfortable now, and Naruto was still buzzing pleasantly from the fire of Sasuke embrace.
"No you don't," Sasuke replied as he stepped on the accelerator and sped off down the road, negotiating the corners with a speed that made Naruto's heart race unpleasantly. He noticed Sasuke smiling and hid one of his own by turning to look out the window.
"What?"
"I talked Kakashi into giving you the rest of the day off," Sasuke explained, finally slowing down when they came upon the entrance of the Bellavista, one of the most expensive hotels on this side of the country. Naruto's heart sped up even further as he swallowed nervously. They weren't...were they? He glanced at Sasuke once more, to find him still smiling. He was captivated by the transformation, and felt himself flush heatedly.
Sasuke's eyes were twinkling in a way that made him melt. They were pools of dark warmth and a light he hadn't seen in them before. Naruto hoped that it wasn't the last time he saw him smile. It was like the sun coming out after months of pouring rain.
"So..uh..what are we doing then?"
"We're having lunch." Sasuke replied as he drove up the majestic driveway.
"Here?" Naruto couldn't help but exclaim, as he look up at the towering majesty of the sandstone hotel, with its enormous windows and marble fountains.
"Yes here." Sasuke's voice was colored with laughter, which was directed at him, but Naruto couldn't bring himself to care.
He was mortified. These places had strict dress codes, and he wasn't...he was dressed in second hand clothes covered in dust and sweat. He was wearing boots!!! Work boots! There was no way he could...
"Can't we go somewhere more...casual?" he asked Sasuke, trying not to sound like he was pleading. "I mean, it's expensive, and I'd be fine with a hamburger or something."
Sasuke slowed the car to a halt and put the hand brake on before unbuckling his belt and turning to look at him.
"They do hamburgers here if you want one."
Naruto shifted in his seat and looked down once more at his dirty clothes.
"That's not...the point."
Sasuke laughed openly at this as he opened him door.
"Don't worry about it, Naruto. You look fine."
Naruto followed Sasuke's lead and climbed out of the car, trying not to die of embarrassment as a man dressed in a smart blue suit stepped over to Sasuke and carefully avoided looking at him. Naruto looked out over the landscaped gardens, flushing with humiliation.
A few moments later, Sasuke joined him, as his car was driven off. Naruto glanced over his shoulder as Sasuke gently took his elbow and guided him up the polished marble steps.
"You have nothing to worry about," he murmured in Naruto's ear as the door man opened the door for them, and they stepped into the lavishly decorated entrance hallway..
"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, nervously as he noticed several expensively dressed men and women staring openly at him. "I don't want to get you in trouble..."
"I thought we'd discussed the whole not caring about what other people think thing," Sasuke replied with a raised eyebrow. "It's fine Naruto. My father is one of the benefactors of this place. We can do whatever we want in this place, and they won't complain. I'm sure they can put up with someone who does a decent days work for a little while. If not, then they can shove it."
"Mr. Uchiha," a pleasantly smiling older gentleman dressed immaculately in a black business suit approached them. Naruto stepped slightly behind Sasuke, hoping to hide his ratty appearance a little. "I have your table reserved and waiting for you and your guest. If you'll kindly follow me, I'll get you settled."
"Thank you."
"That's Mr Ayumu. He's one of the managers here," Sasuke murmured quietly to him. Naruto nodded in response, and self consciously latched onto the back of Sasuke's shirt.
They were led into a practically deserted dining room that over looked a large pond and rolling lawns. The table itself was set for two, with polished silver cutlery and perfect folded napkins. The manager seated them, and handed them two menu's before disappearing discretely.
Naruto's gaze, however was caught on the magnificent chandelier.
"Like it?" Sasuke's voice was colored with amusement.
Naruto glanced at him, before looking back at it once more.
"It's beautiful."
"That chandelier cost 10 million." Sasuke informed him quietly. "My father donated it."
"Wow..." Naruto knew he was gaping and he turned back to look at Sasuke once more. "This whole place is..."
"Exotic? Yes, I know. Mother likes to come here sometimes. It's nice enough, I suppose. " Sasuke shrugged. "Why don't we order? I have some things I'd like to talk about."
Naruto swallowed and nodded, gingerly picking up his menu and trying to focus enough to read.