"Oi, come out of there!"
I'm sitting inside a house. Old, musty, abandoned. It must be the Hermitage, the house that my friends and I discovered just outside the forest that surrounds Kadic. I stand up from the floor and look out the window, and I see two men dressed in all black. I scream, running away from the window before bumping into an old man. He has thick glasses that hide his eyes and frazzled gray hair. He grabs my hand and forces me to follow him. I don't know who he is. I'm frightened. The wool sweater he wears smells mildewed, and his lab coat flaps in the gust of his pace and hits me in the face. The men that wear black are behind us in hot pursuit.
"AH!" I shriek, springing upwards in my bed. Just a dream. Every time my heart starts thumping like this, I feel woozy and get a head ache. I think Jeremie mentioned this was related to something called adrenaline. I can't wait to be more up to date on the wonders of the world. Especially since, right now, all I can see is the darkness that lurks in every corner. I don't like the darkness. It was dark the other night, very dark… and so now all I feel is terror whenever the lights go out or the sun falls behind the horizon.
I think I have to use the bathroom. It's a strange sensation I haven't quite adjusted to yet, but Jeremie managed to explain it to me as best as he could, and he made very clear that it's something I really need to pay attention to. I'm so thankful that I have Jeremie to hold my hand throughout my journey on Earth. I wonder if maybe it would be best to talk to him about this…
"You're not going to tell a soul, do you understand?"
No. I made a promise. My lower abdomen starts to tingle, pulling me out of my daze. Reluctantly, I escape the warmth of my mountain of blankets. The chill from the emptiness of my room wraps itself around my frail body and causes me to tremble. I walk down the hall to the lady's room. I hate walking alone, especially at night. It doesn't matter if I'm in the security of the dorms that is on constant lockdown by Jim, I still always feel like I'm being watched. It always feels like he's there, stalking me… watching my every move.
Inside the stall, I am once again met with the sight of a puddle of blood sitting in my underwear. It's been two days now, is this supposed to be happening? Using the restroom burns. It feels like pouring corrosive acid onto an open wound. This doesn't feel normal. But, who am I to say what does and doesn't feel normal? I'm not even human.
Although sometimes… it feels like I am. Sometimes I get these… instincts. Human instincts. And sometimes, I feel as if I've already lived here before. I know that's silly, but, still…
After washing my hands, I walk out of the door only to bump into a sleepy Jeremie who is groggily wandering the halls.
"Aelita!" he calls, pleased to see me but at the same time also shocked. "What are you doing up?"
"I just had to use the bathroom."
"Ah," he smiles. "Same here."
"Well, I'm going back to my room now. Goodnight."
"Goodni- Oh my God, Aelita!"
"Huh?" I quickly turn back around to see him staring at me with horror planted on his face. Almost as if he'd just seen a ghost. "What is it?"
"You're bleeding, Aelita!" I hadn't even noticed. I look down to see a thin stream of blood slowly trickling down my leg. "Are you okay?" he cries.
"Oh, how embarrassing," I try and brush off with another one of my plastic smiles. "I'm fine. It's just my comma. I mean my period. Yes well, good night, Jeremie!" I turn around and scamper down the hall, my feet harshly thudding against the hardwood and surely annoying those on the floor below. If I don't get this bleeding to stop soon, I'm going to have a really hard time pulling this off.
Then I remember the square object that Nurse Yolanda handed to me. A pad, I think she called it. She said it helps absorb bleeding. Surely it would work for this kind of bleeding, wouldn't it? I change into fresher night clothes and place the so called pad inside my underwear as Yolanda instructed. It'll do, for now. The other pair of underwear gets kicked under my bed, along with the other garments I'll never touch again.
Morning comes quicker than I would like for it to. All I can think about is the dream I had last night. I want to know who that strange, older man that seemed so close to me was. I don't quite understand dreams or nightmares yet, they're so unique, yet confusing at the same time. I want to go back to the Hermitage today. I want to explore more. I almost feel as if this old house is calling out to me, begging me to come to it. I feel it pleading for it's inhabitants to once again thrive under it's roof. But, then why is it crying out to me? Emotions are odd. Yumi warned me that, as a female, this would be something I would have to get used to the most. I still don't quite understand why it would differ for me than it would for someone like Jeremie…
Fall is coming, so it's getting cold out. I make sure to grab a jacket and a scarf before I walk out the door. It's Saturday, and I was lucky enough to not be scheduled any morning classes, so I've got the whole morning to explore the Hermitage without the meddling of my friends. I like that they call it Fall, because there are leaves falling to the ground everywhere I step. I like the sound of them crunching beneath my feet. It's calming, in a way. Walking alone in the forest, though, is less calming.
The Hermitage frightens me a little, but I feel like I have to go inside. I'm not sure why, this is one of those instincts I was referring to earlier. I just have to. I prance up the stone steps that lead to the front door and help myself into the abandoned home. I like to walk, I like hearing my footsteps echo against different types of flooring. I cough as I inhale the musty air of the Hermitage; the dust scrapes against the fleshy lining of my lungs with each breath. My legs are shaking and my heart is beating against my chest like a drum. I can hear it clearly without even trying. Small streaks of sunlight peer through the cracks of broken windows and glow onto the splintered floor of this once lively home. Nothing in this room sticks out to me much, just torn furniture and various amounts of junk scattered across the ground. Upstairs, though, there is a room that I find intriguing. The rest of the house is dark and brown, but the walls of this room are a faded shade of what was once a bright, bubbly pink. It looks like the color of something I would wear.
"Daddy, I'm going up to my room."
I hear a little girl's voice. Perplexed, I look around to see if there is anyone who may have followed me here. This is the room that was in my dream. That window right over there is the same one that I watched two scary men dressed in black scream out to me, demanding I come outside. I hear the same childish voice again behind me.
A tiny girl, she looks about the age of 11 or 12, scuttles into the room looking panicked. She has pink hair, just like me. How strange. She's… she's even wearing the same outfit that I was wearing as I stepped out of the scanner for the first time! Why, she looks exactly like me in every way possible… I don't understand. She… is me. She has to be. There's no other explanation.
The girl has a doll in her hand; it looks like an elf, and runs towards the painting on the wall. I remember that elf. I know I've seen it before. There's a hole behind the poster, and she stuffs the doll inside before meeting with an old man at the door, who grabs her hand and they both run off. It's the same man I saw in my dream last night. They look close. Is that her father? Is that… is that my father? But I'm not human. How can I have a father? My head starts hurting. I lean against the dresser next to me and grunt in pain as I crush my eyelids shut.
"Oi, come out of there!"
Those voices. The men in black. I run to the window. There's no one there.
"Aelita?"
"AH!" I turn around, thankfully to see Jeremie and not anyone else.
"I figured I might find you here. You didn't answer your phone."
"Huh?" I check my phone to see three missed calls from Jeremie. I hadn't realized I left it on silent. "Why aren't you in class?" I ask.
"I just got out of class."
"Oh, really?" Wow, I've been here longer than I thought.
"Are you okay?"
"You ask that question a lot."
"I'm worried about you, Aelita. Can I talk to you?"
Uh oh. Does he know? Did he find out? It starts throbbing again. It throbs in sync with the aching in my head. I feel queasy all of a sudden, and I stumble over to the tattered mattress lying on the floor. He sits down next to me and looks me directly in the eyes. He looks serious. I've never seen this kind of Jeremie before. I kind of like it, actually. I glance down at his hands as he takes ahold of both of mine. They're nice and warm, and mine are freezing and clammy.
"Aelita… you know if you have a problem, you can always talk to me about it. Even if you feel like you can't tell anyone else." I stare at him. I open my mouth to speak, but force myself to stay quiet. I gape at the floor to avoid more slightly awkward eye contact. My gaze travels along the swirls of the warped wood. "Lita, we don't keep secrets from each other." He looks sad. He must be hurt that I'm hiding something from him. I like when he calls me Lita, though. At least now he's got my attention.
"I can't tell you." My eyes start to water. I'm not sure why. I've seen Jeremie with water on his face before, but he never explained to me why it was happening. There was a lot of water on my face the other night, too. I think maybe this emotion is connected. He looks even sadder, now.
"You're crying, Lita."
"What is crying?" I ask him as I pat the wetness against my cheeks. Some of the drops meet my lips. It tastes salty. I don't like it.
"It's something people do when they're sad. They do it when they're happy too, sometimes, but I don't think that's the case for you. Why are you sad, Aelita?"
I cringe, which forces more tears to flow from my tightly shut eyes.
"Hey, what are you doing? H-hey! Get off of me! GET OFF!"
"Tell me everything, right now. Or I'll make sure you regret it."
"I don't have anything to tell you! STOP IT!"
"Alright, you asked for it."
"Lita?" There he goes again with that name. I'm so weak. "Why can't you tell me?"
"Because… I promised I wouldn't." I want to tell you, Jeremie. I really do. But I can't. This is for your own good.
"Promised who?"
"I don't… I don't know..." And that is the truth. I don't know who he is. I just know he's an enemy.