Ricochet
TenTen was setting a pair of matching bowls on the tabletop when she heard the sound of rushing water abruptly stop. In the briefest of moments her eyes were tugged towards the hallway, where she knew her husband was stepping out of the shower. Her lips tightened at the random realization that they'd never done anything naughty in their own bathroom, but she swept the thought away as quickly as it came and focused on setting the teapot and teacups on the table too. She heard the bathroom door whine when he opened it, and she set spoons and chopsticks beside the bowls. TenTen smiled as she straightened the arrangement and seconds later, silent as death, Neji casually strode down the hall towards her.
His hair was free and damp, clinging to bare shoulders and toned pectorals. A few stubborn beads of water hung at the ends of his hair and TenTen marvelled at the fact that even after two years of marriage, her heart raced whenever she saw him like this. She did notice, however, two small circular scars parallel to each other across on his chest. She resisted the urge to grunt disapprovingly; she knew beyond doubt that these were new, she knew every scar on his body. Given, it wasn't exactly difficult to count all of Neji's scars as he had considerably fewer than the majority of shinobi. This, of course, was because Neji was practically un-fucking-touchable.Thankfully Neji had bothered to put on pants though they seemed of little use as they hung low on his hips, threatening noncompliance with every step he took.
TenTen blinked. If she kept studying him so intently, he'd question her on it, so she redirected her attention to one of her other senses, drawing in a deep breath of the hot cloud of air that stubbornly hovered around him. She could mostly smell the lemon scented soap from their bathroom, but under that was the other scent that was masculine and earthy and uniquely his own. She never got tired of that smell.
In the space of those deliciously long fews seconds TenTen oogled her husband, Neji made it to the table and pulled out his chair, sliding into it with smooth, practiced grace. He offered her a light lift of the lips in gratitude for cooking and they both fixed their plates with curry and rice and filled their miso bowls with soup. It was normal for them, to sit in silence like this. A kind of normality that still held on to the vestiges of awkwardness; a familiarity that was slightly less than comfortable. Even after two years of having been married, the atmosphere felt off with the distinct lack of both Gai and Lee's voices chattering exuberently. In the days of Team Gai, Konoha's Green Beasts carried the weight of mealtime conversation while TenTen only occasionally interjected. Neji had been less inclined to participate back then, literally turning his back to them as he ate. Looking at him now, not much had changed.
She supposed it was understandable that she and him had yet to full develop the art of communication between them; after all, to talk to one another you had to first be around one another, right? And Neji had been married to his job long before he had married her. On average he was gone at least sixteen days out of the month, and when he was home, he was usually training. He even packed his own meals before leaving to train, often spending the entire day at the training grounds, so even when he was home they rarely ate together. She had tried once or twice to have a hot meal ready and waiting when he returned home from missions, but TenTen soon learned that the sheer stress of the missions he got assigned to these days left him wanting only three things when he got home: a shower, sex, and sleep. And not necessarily in that order, as he often bypassed the first two and went straight to sleep. (And the Hyuuga elders wondered why they had yet to conceive an heir. Ha. They hadn't had enough sex for her to get pregnant. Oh, but when she got it...! There was less than nothing to complain about.)
They had yet to spend a single birthday or anniversary together since their marriage.
Banishing thoughts of their abysmal sex life from her mind, TenTen stuffed a small wad of rice into her mouth with her chopsticks as she watched Neji do the same. He sat with perfect posture, as always, and ate with fluid movements and slight flexes of the wrist; actions much more befitting an aristocrat than a shinobi. Exactly as the Hyuuga clan had raised him. Exactly as the Hyuuga clan expected her to become. TenTen envied his quiet elegance, knowing her own movements to look rushed and unrefined by comparision. She set down her chopsticks momentarily to take a sip from her cup and hide the way she knew her eyebrows were threatening to draw together. She hated these moments, these small snippets in time when she felt inadequate. Insecure. It was only by Neji's stone-cold determination that the Hyuuga elders had grudgingly allowed him to marry someone of such low birth status and she knew it. She was a nobody, a first-generation shinobi raised by her grandparents and without so much as a last name. She hated that his family, save for Hinata, thought of her as unworthy of a catch like him.
Most of all, she hated that she agreed.
"How did the mission go?"
She made a half-assed attempt to stir up a conversation between mouthfuls. His pale eyes locked on her immediately and he paused, sparing a thought to his answer.
"Decently. We infiltrated, acquired the intel, covered our tracks and withdrew."
He took a sip of his tea and she watched as the tip of his tongue sought out the traces of it on his bottom lip after he'd set his cup down.
"Did you take any damage?"
He made a slight movement, an almost-shrug as he chewed on curry.
"Minor wounds, nothing grevious."
She was caught between scoffing and genuine amusement as she eyed the tiny scars from across the table. Leave it to Neji to always downplay his injuries. In her active days, she'd seen him receive jagged, uneven wounds that bled horrifically and heard him refer to them as "scratches". The word minor, to Neji, simply meant it wasn't fatal. Of the battle scars he had on his body, TenTen knew four of them were well-placed and intended to kill. Neji may not have been on the receiving end of damage often, but when he was, it was rarely an injury that could be categorized as "minor".
TenTen hummed in acceptance of his answer and continued eating, letting the discussion lull back into silence.
"So...?"
Black eyes stared into Ino's imploringly, sienna eyebrows above them arching in anticipation. Ino bristled.
"So? So what?"
"So, word on the street says that you haven't so much as been on a date in four months."
Ino made a dismissive sound and stabbed at her slice of cake with a fork. She knew no one person was ever safe from being the town's gossip target, but that didn't mean she didn't resent it being her. Even if it was only temporary.
"And?"
"And I'm starting to wonder if I should be concerned! You're like one of the prettiest girls in Konoha, it's not right for you to be single."
Ino quirked an eyebrow at her friend. Tachibana Rui was a chuunin and two years younger than her, but she was pretty good company. Usually. Ino huffed indignantly and rolled her eyes.
"No one's caught my interest in a while. I do have standards, you know. I won't just date someone because I'm bored. Besides, I'm focusing on my training right now."
Tachibana snorted, as if that was the biggest lie she'd ever heard.
"Half of Konoha's eligible men would saw off their own foot just to get a date with you! I've even seen a few women stare at you with that adoring look in their eyes. What could your standards possibly be that so few people get a chance?"
Ino finished her cake and set down her fork, opening her palm to count on her fingers as she rattled off her list.
"He must be taller than me, I don't really go for the short ones. Must be a jounin or higher, he definitely can't be weaker than me or a civillian. And he has to be as cute as, or at least almost as cute as, Uchiha Sasuke."
Tachibana stared at her. Ino stared back, her face completely serious.
"Ino, come on!"
Ino shook her head.
"Nope. Those are my standards, I'm not budging."
"Uchiha Sasuke? Wasn't he like the cutest guy in the village before he left? Seriously, who can measure up to that?"
Ino shrugged indifferently, her lips curling smugly.
"Hmm, well, I did hear that he does have an older brother alive, somewhere outside the village. He's supposedly incredibly sexy."
The girl gaped at her.
"Yeah, and I hear he's a homicidal maniac. Didn't you hear that part?"
"What, just because he might be crazy doesn't mean he couldn't be devastatingly handsome as well."
"You wouldn't..."
"No, I wouldn't. But I am curious."
Ino smiled as her friend looked like she was going to have a stroke any minute now.
"I'm starting to think you have a thing for the Sharingan."
Tachibana declared, sweeping her bangs out of her face with one hand and sending Ino a look of clear disapproval. Ino looked upward thoughtfully.
"Hmm. Well, I did have a crush on Kakashi-sensei for a little while. That might have something to do with it."
Tachibana fell out of her chair. When she managed to get her bearings and seat herself again, she shook her head, realizing this conversation was going in a direction she didn't quite want to follow. For the sake of sanity, she changed topics.
"What're you doing later on?"
Ino took a swig of her juice and leaned back in her chair.
"I'm thinking I'll stock up on a few things in the market district, then drop by to check on Kurenai-sensei and Asuka-chan."
"Oh, you're not going to the funeral?"
"What funeral?"
"Well, it's not a real funeral since they couldn't get the body, but I heard just this afternoon that there's going to be a ceremony today for..."
"Neji!"
Ino burst through the Hyuuga's front door with all the ferocity of a wild animal and not a single hint of shame or apology at her incredibly rude intrusion. Her eyes, wide and full of blatant urgency, fell on TenTen as she emerged from the back of the house.
"Ino?"
The name rolled off of her tongue like a question despite her eyes clearly confirming the unexpected visitor. Though TenTen paid little attention to shinobi she hadn't directly worked with, she was certain she had never witnessed the blonde Yamanaka in such a state of...panic? Fury? She couldn't quite place what kind of emotional state the kunoichi was in, but whatever it was, it was intense. Ino's chakra flared so strongly that TenTen distantly wondered if her in-laws would soon come running to assess the situation.
Ino blinked, her mouth setting into a tight lines as her eyes retraced what she could see of the house, as if Neji were actually in the room and she just had yet to notice.
"Where's Neji?"
She hadn't meant for it to come out of her mouth like a demand, but if the slight narrowing of the brunette's eyes were any indication, it did.
"He's not here right now."
Ino frowned. She wasn't known for her patience and she was growing increasingly frustrated.
"Yeah, I see that. I asked where he is."
TenTen's face hardened and she considered making a snappish reply, but thought better of it. She knew Ino was one of the ninjas Neji worked with almost regularly, and despite the blonde's apparent lack of manners, she recognized that there was potentially an important issue at hand.
"I don't know. He left over an hour ago, he's probably training Hinata right now."
Ino was turning on her heel at the sound of Hinata's name.
It wouldn't occur to her until much, much later that this news would affect TenTen as well.
He didn't need his Byakugan activated to know who was racing towards him, he'd been on enough missions with her by this point that he could easily recognize the chakra signature of one Yamanaka Ino instantly. What he did wonder, vaguely, was how she'd managed to discover that he was in the Forest of Death. Even moreso how she pinpointed his location since she wasn't the Tracker type.
He felt the trunk of the tree vibrate almost unnoticably as she ran up it and counted the seconds until she was standing behind him. She hesitated as she reached him, an uncertainty in her movements suggesting that she didn't know whether to come closer or to stay back. To her credit, she took two steps towards him before she decided that that was the edge of the safety zone.
"You've heard."
Her voice was quiet, quieter than the whisper volume she used on missions. It held a tone of apprehension. And pity. He didn't like it.
"Hn."
He heard her sigh and tentatively step forward until she was directly beside him. Another pause, and then she sat down. It was dark in this area, the canopy of the trees too thick and overgrown to let in more than mere slivers of light. It was hard to tell how long they both sat there, completely still, staring off at nothing at all. He didn't know many hours had passed when she spoke again.
"You should say goodbye to him. It...helps."
For the first time since she'd arrived, Neji turns his head to look at her. His expression is carefully blank but behind behind it he is positively livid. He wants to tell her to shut up, that it DOESN'T help and how the hell could it? Nothing could help a dead man and how dare she insinuate otherwise. How dare she make suggestions. But the words die in his throat before they even make it to his lips. She is only trying to help. Neji does not need help. Children need help; Neji is twenty years old and as far as he's concerned, he hasn't been a child for a long, long time.
There is another stretch of silence before Neji shakes his head slowly and smiles. It's not a genuine smile, but more of a self-depreciating sneer at his own words.
"I did not think he could die."
His voice is tense, full of emotions that he will not release as he contemplates the irony. He has killed hundred of men and knows just as well as any other shinobi that mortality is always laying in wait, yet still he cannot shake the old, iron-clad idea that his sensei is above dying. A part of him is still half-certain that, somewhere, Maito Gai has resurrected himself from death out of sheer willpower alone. Konoha's Green Beast cannot possibly die.
Ino makes a sound Neji can't quite identify, and it is a few minutes later when he notices her arm loosely draping across his back, her hand on his shoulder opposite to where she's sitting. He tenses but says nothing. He doesn't cry. She cries for him.
It was well into the night when Neji made it back to his quarters. His muscles felt fine, absent of the usual burn from rigorous training, but his body felt heavy and less responsive than usual. It almost felt as if his body were foreign to him. He wondered, at length, if grief was different every time a person encountered it. When his father had been executed he'd felt numbness for a long time before his emotions festered and boiled into rage. When the Sandaime Hokage passed, he'd felt mild pity and subdued gratitude for the old man's sacrifice. This was the first time in Neji's life he'd felt denial. He wasn't sure whether or not he was disappointed in himself for being capable of feeling it.
He removed his shoes before he set foot onto the tatami lining their floorboards and walked to his bedroom. Their bedroom. TenTen shifted in the sheets as he paused at the door and felt a tinge of apprehension. Blinking slowly, he entered the room and crossed over to the clothesbasket. He removed his shirt and pants more slowly than usual, and his subconscious accused him of buying time, of stalling. In his shorts, Neji finally approached their futon and slid under the covers, turning to face his wife.
"TenTen."
"Hmm?"
He had figured she wasn't asleep yet, but part of him had hoped that she was. He studied her face as her eyes remained closed.
"Gai-sensei is dead."
"Hmm?"
He brow furrows and her eyes squint open at this, as if she doesn't trust her ears. The questioning look on her features is tempered by sleepiness and he doesn't doubt that she may think she just imagined what he said.
"Gai-sensei is dead."
Her eyes go wide this time, and he knows that if anyone but him had told her this she'd glare and call them a liar. Her body tenses and she turns over quickly so he won't see how her eyes are already welling with tears, but they both know he's seen it anyway. She doesn't like him to see her cry. She moves closer to the edge of the futon and muffles her cries into the pillow. Neji speculates then on who's more messed up; himself, who can't cry, or her, who cries hard both from grief and from the shame of crying. He watches her until she falls asleep.
A / N : Damn it's hard creating a personality for TenTen. I swear, in cannon she's just as dull as a ricecake. And if you don't like the beginning of this chapter or the flow feels strange or something, I apologize. I had half of the of the chapter done over a week ago and right when I was going to save, I got an error message and lost everything. I RAGED, and it took me a while to jump back into the writing groove.