"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure."
"Kathryn, this isn't how we planned it. I don't know if-"
"Life isn't how we planned it, Chakotay! If life went according to plan I'd be married to Mark right now, living in Indiana with 2 dogs!" I twirled around and fell onto the sofa in exasperation.
"Is that what you want?" he whispered bitterly.
"I wanted it then. Yes. I thought that was what I deserved. I was happy enough. It was good enough. I didn't think that there was anyone else. I didn't even know your name until a week before I left Earth. But now, Chakotay – we can't live in the future. We have to do this now."
He is scared. It isn't like Chakotay to be scared. He kneels in front of me, lifting my gaze to meet his own as he drops his hands to my lap.
"I want her too, Kathryn. I want all of them."
"Then let's drop the boosters. We'll let anyone on the ship who wants to start a family drop the boosters. We always knew this was a possibility. We knew that Voyager might become a generational ship. 60 years is a long time, Chakotay and unless something miraculous happens, that might be how long we have to wait – maybe longer. And I don't want to wait for her."
I know he's worried. I'm worried. But, truthfully – I'm excited. She's not even real yet and I want to meet her. I can see emotion warring in his features. But then, out of the war comes a peace.
He smiles, "Ok. Let's do it. But I have one stipulation."
I sit back, amused, "Alright, what is it?"
He says nothing. He just stares – boring into me. I hate it when he does this. He's like a little kid with a secret trying his best not to blurt it out. "Well are you going to make me guess?"
"You can if you want". He exasperates me.
He's enjoying this game. He's enjoying teasing me. "Chakotay, I don't know – grow my hair out, what?"
"Well that's an idea".
"Well what it is you big lug!?" A big grin spreads across my face as I knock him back against the carpeted floor.
He's still silent. But, I have my ways. And I do. I have breasts, add to that he finds me irresistible, and he's ticklish under his arms and I have a lethal set of interrogation tactics. I climb on top of him and straddle his hips. Suggestively I smooth my hands over his chest and I feel his erection stir underneath my bottom. Oh, I've got him now. Such a sucker!
"Ah! Kathryn!" he jumps and knocks me off. I can't stop laughing. That look on his face of utter surprise was completely priceless! I can't stop laughing as he rolls me underneath his warm body.
Tears stream down my cheeks as my laughter subsides, "what's your condition, Chakotay?"
The room becomes quiet, filled only with the sound of our breath, and subconsciously I know what's coming. I put my arms on his shoulders.
"Marry me, Kathryn."
And there it is.
It's the third time I've been proposed to, but it feels like the first. Even though I knew that eventually he would ask, the actual question still takes my breath away. This is not a request borne of a Tristan-and-Isolde-esq youthful love affair, nor it is a question borne of the desire for security and assurances. Chakotay is solely asking me to marry him because he wants to join his soul to mine. He wants to make a public declaration of something deeply spiritual. What else could I say? My heart, my head, and my spirit have made the decision for me.
"Yes."
He let out a breath and I realized that his whole body had been tense while he waited for my answer. How could he have even been nervous?