Ricochet
Tenten was disappointed to find her husband still in a foul mood when he returned from his mission in Umenouchi Island. And if he noticed any changes in her chakra, he hadn't said anything. Still, Tenten felt more cheerful than she had in months; more than she'd expected to when she first decided that she'd be okay with having a baby. A baby. Neji's baby. The thought still sent an excited shiver down her spine. At not quite a month into her pregnancy, she'd be a mother in less than a year.
She'd have to be careful for the next eight months of course, not that she'd be doing anything too dangerous anyway. Sakura had warned her about the frailties of kunoichi pregnancies, that because of the athletic condition of their bodies one out of every three kunoichi miscarried. Tenten, who had listened with rapt attention, had decided then and there to wait until she was past the first trimester - three months in - to tell Neji he was going to be a father. Until she told him, however, she'd have to mostly stay cooped up in the house. She couldn't risk anyone else knowing the good news before she told Neji herself, and few things missed Hyuuga eyes.
Her mind ran through countless scenarios of how Neji would be as a father. Would he be stern like his uncle? Would he smile gently at their child? As scared as she was of the oncoming challenges of parenthood, she couldn't wait to share those challenges with him.
Shikamaru groaned inwardly as he sensed the approach of a chakra signature he'd known all of his life. He debated whether or not it was worth it to open his eyes and decided against it. There were hardly any clouds out and the sun was in full effect, there was no sense in damaging his vision. He laid completely still, counting the vibrations of her footsteps on the ground. She came to stand beside him, and in his mind Shikamaru imagined she was determining whether he was asleep or awake, before sitting down beside him. Eventually, she turned her body sideways, taking the liberty of propping the back of her head on his ribcage. He cracked an eye open, then slid it back shut. This was a bad sign. When Ino went from needing an ear to listen to needing physical contact, it usually meant something had gone wrong. If she had turned her body and curled against his side he'd know someone had died. This wasn't that.
He waited. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Finally, she spoke.
"It's like he's becoming someone I don't know."
Shikamaru felt himself relax a little more. So it was boy trouble, not job trouble. Good. At least, as good as he could hope for.
"People change, Ino."
"Not really. Not without reason. He used to always be composed and level-headed. Now it's like he's angry all the time like...like he can't stand me or something. But he won't let me out of his sight."
"This guy likes you that much?"
"No, that's impossible. He he has someone he's pretty serious with."
Shikamaru's eyes snapped open. Was the 'he' she was talking about...? Couldn't be. Could it? He hoped for her sake it wasn't who he thought it was.
"You should spend less time around him then."
"That's not really possible either."
With a resigned sigh Ino sat up, then got to her feet to leave. Shikamaru pushed his weight up on his elbows.
"You shouldn't become attached to someone who can't return your feelings."
She smiled at him bitterly. "I know. I shouldn't."
But I am.
Distant stars twinkled in the sky above as two shinobi came to a stop at the edge of a forest, outskirting a small field. With no more than a simple hand gesture, the male signalled to the female they would be taking a break and trailed away from from her at a normal, civillian speed. The female laid eyes on a decaying log nearby and, deeming it decent firewood, set to work on making a fire.
The fire had grown to a moderate size, sizzling and crackling and giving off a decent amount of heat when Neji returned, the body of a wild boar hefted onto one shoulder and held there with his left hand around a tusk and the right arm curled over its midsection. He walked steadily towards Ino and the campfire, the ease of his gait showing no sign of the weight of the huge creature he carried.
Neji set his kill on the ground and watched Ino jump up to fetch strong, thick sticks for them to roast their meal on. A quick glance around told him there were no flowers growing in the area; where had she picked up the daisy nestled into the base of her ponytail? It hadn't been there when they'd passed through the last village, had she picked it at some point while they'd been running? Ino returned with five large sticks in hand and Neji's curiosity evaporated as he took out his kunai and began to gut the pig.
They remained quiet throughout cooking and eating, slowly unwinding from the day's stress as they drank their fill from canteens brimming with warm water. Bellies full, the comfortable silence continued until Ino saw Neji pull out a kunai and carefully sever the tusks from the boar's head. He set one tusk near his feet and the other he began to shave and chip at with his kunai, breaking off some of the tip and sharpening it into the shape he wanted. Intrigued, Ino realized he was whittling it into a dagger.
"Wow, I didn't know you knew how to do that sort of thing."
He responded with a shrug. "It's useful." Tenten likes daggers.
"How practical." she chirped. It was a statement so distinctly Neji; the man was ingeniously resourceful. "Did someone in your family teach you that?"
"I taught myself."
"Right, genius. I forgot. Can you make beads and hairsticks and stuff too?"
"I have no interest in accessories."
Out of the blue she smiled at him, shifting her weight to sit in a crosslegged position. "You've never talked about yourself this much."
"There's nothing to say."
At that, Ino laughed.
"There's plenty to say. Of all the creatures in the world, humans have the most extensive forms of communication. We're talking all the time, it's just that most of what we're saying isn't coming fom our mouths."
Very, very fractionally, Neji tensed when he quickly read the meaning behind her words. "Body language."
She nodded. "Actions speak louder than words. You know what your body is saying right now? Touch me and I'll break your fucking hand."
His smirk was instantaneous. She was right, of course. Most shinobi knew the bare basics of reading body language to check for signs of dishonesty or hostility; to cover up one's natural habits was an exceedingly difficult thing to do. Even when under cover many shinobi had mannerisms unique to themselves and, to a degree, it was mostly permissable in making their games of deceit more genuine-looking. He'd never met a ninja who could zero in with such accuracy though, especially when he felt he'd been masking his uneasiness fairly well with indifference. Neji was mildly impressed. He knew the Yamanaka was queen of all things psychological, but he'd failed to recognize her thorough understanding of human communication as well. He supposed it was part of her repetoire as a spy.
He wondered how well Yamanaka Ino could lie with her body. He wondered if he was as transparent to her as the world was to him. Someone as visually captivating as her would be well acquainted with animalistc interest from the opposite gender; she probably knew the game of attraction backwards, forwards and inside out. This was her territory, and Neji had no intentions of being caught trespassing.
Quickly he came to the conclusion that even pondering such things counter-productive. To be sitting next to someone who read brains like scholars read books and falling into deep thought was asking for trouble. Thinking was the enemy, words were the enemy's projectiles and silence...silence was certain doom. Shinobi tended to pay more attention in times of silence, and with enough time and enough attention there was no doubt in Neji's mind that Ino would know. He couldn't allow that. There was enough strain between them with his newfound awareness of his attraction towards her, to let her discover such a thing would undoubtedly become a colossal distraction. He turned his eyes toward the campfire.
"I'll keep watch tonight. Rest."
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her slightly dissatisfied look before she conceded, standing up and turning away to find a spot some yards away to sleep on.
Part of him was relieved she'd obeyed.
...A quieter part of him was disappointed.
Ten hours' distance from Konohagakure, the Hyuuga-Yamanaka team made it to their destination: the Hidden Village of Shimogakure in the Land of Frost. It was the first time either of them had been there, Shimogakure being a small settlement far away from the Five Great Nations, and their mission had come straight from the Frost Daimyo himself : assasinate Nobunaga Reizou without being discovered. The Shimogakure-nins would have no knowledge of this operation and if they were to be discovered, village ninja would pursue and execute. Worse if proof they were from Konoha was found, such as the perfectly circular bruises the Jyuuken style left on skin or the massive hemorraging from the nose and ears that resulted from mental torture techniques that liquified the brain. It was a delicate situation to say the least.
They assumed new identities as soon as they set foot in Frost territory and made themselves familiar with the town's layout. Then they came up with a plan: they would choose a target which Ino would brainwash - Ino liked to call it personality reprogramming - and then that target would kill Nobunaga. There would be nothing to tie them to the murder.
The pair slipped into more casual clothing and infiltrated the local bar. For two hours straight they sat together at a small table in the corner of the bar, ordering tonic water and keeping close watch for a the right kind of loser to be their scapegoat. Many guys had given Ino the eye since their arrival, but none so far had been a good match. They couldn't just choose anyone; who would believe a shoemaker would kill Reizou? Or a waiter? It had to be a civilian, but one with the right kind of reputation. Or rather, the wrong kind of reputation. One with motives.
In the third hour of their waiting, Ino saw the perfect candidate. He was young and muscular with unkept hair and a bad attitude. And he couldn't take his dark eyes off of her. Neji spied him too.
"Can you charm him?"
"Charm him? Are you kidding? I could charm honey from a rock. Watch me work."
Ino grinned dubiously at him. Getting ready to make her grand introduction, she unwound the blue scarf from around her neck and wrapped it around Neji's, covering his nose and mouth.
"You have to keep your nose covered or else this'll affect you too."
She revealed a small vial of liquid that had been concealed in her palm and opened it, smearing the contents on both of her wrists and neck.
"Human pheremones?"
"Bingo. Strong too, it's got twelve hour potency. Makes things go a bit easier."
Ino stood and left their table, left him behind, her hips swaying hypnotically as she cozied up next to their target. In a high, flirtatious voice he heard her introduce herself as Nakajima Eri. The guy introduced himself as Kuranosuke but Neji hardly noticed - he was too distracted by how the guy was tracing a path with his thumb back and forth suggestively along Ino's inner wrist. Much sooner than Neji expected, Kuranosuke was leading Ino out of the bar.
He sat a while, his expression pensive enough to ward off any suitors as he tried to amuse himself by keep watch over the patrons of the bar. Time crawled by, mocking him, and Neji tore the scarf away from his face in a small burst of anger as he realised he missed Ino's presence and the scent of her pressed against his nose was making him crazy. He needed some fresh air. Now.
Kuranosuke slammed her small frame roughly against the wall and Ino was a good enough actress not to soften the impact. She yielded when his hand pulled roughly on the hair at the nape of her neck, gasping in response to the force he used and allowed him to cover her mouth with his. Pleased with her cooperation, he lessened his grip when she started to return the kiss. As his guard lowered and he gave himself to the passion of tongue-wrestling, Ino slipped a hidden pill from her mouth to his. He was knocked out in under a minute.
Supporting Kuranosuke's weight as he slumped forward, Ino lowered his body to the floor and seated herself beside him. There was no telling how long he'd be out - ninety minutes, two hours if she was lucky. Different people's bodies processed the drug at different rates. She'd need all the time she could get to fully erase his memories, implant the idea of murdering Nobunaga in his mind, and reconstruct his personality. Erase. Rebuild. Reboot. By the end of it, he would have no awareness at all that he was under a jutsu and wouldn't have any recollection of ever meeting Ino, but would be programmed to respond to coded command words embedded into his subconscious.
Chewing on her bottom lip, Ino cracked her knuckles and placed her hands on his head. It was freezing cold in the cheap motel room he rented them, but she had a job to do.
Outside of the bar, white eyes spotted his blonde partner making her way to their rendevouz point to meet him. She was thirty minutes late and he had been starting to wonder if something had gone wrong. As Ino walked closer he scanned her outward appearence to be sure. There was an unmistakable flush to her cheeks, her hair was all over the place and her lips were bright and bitten pink in color. And she looked exhausted. She was standing in front of him looking for all the world as if she'd just been thoroughly ravished and something in his mind was growling that this was wholly unacceptable.
"Did you...?"
"Did I what?"
She fumed. He'd better not be asking what she thought he was asking. She was a kunoichi, damnit, and far above the likes of whoredom. How dare he suggest otherwise!
His eyebrows drew together, face setting into a frown Ino was getting all too familiar with.
"Do you take some kind of delight in antagonizing me?"
Ino scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself, the world doesn't revolve around you."
"No, but your behavior has been abnormal lately. You haven't been yourself in weeks. Are you well?"
"I'm fine." she snapped back at him.
"No, you're not."
Neji stepped closer to Ino and her reaction was immediate: the dimming of her eyes, the unconscious parting of her lips, and a dainty step backward. He leaned forward slightly, testing her limits and feeling more confident with each small display of unease. His silver eyes locked directly onto hers and Ino swore he could've melted steel with that look.
"You're attracted to me."
Ino froze, completely taken aback. Neji's voice dropped an octave lower, dangerously silken and tantalizing.
"Am I wrong?"
She fought a shudder. "You're wrong."
Her denial was silenced as he seized the opportunity and closed the distance, sealing his lips to hers. The kiss was soft, hesitant, and brief and they broke for air breathing shallowly and all too loudly to their own ears. Neji's voice came out just above a whisper, his words blending into the shared air space between them.
"I'm not."
Ino was furious at herself for her lack of self control, her thoughts a raging storm of self-criticism.
Don't be stupid, you knew he was aware you had feelings for him. You wanted him to know. You wanted him to kiss you even though it's wrong. You're going to ruin his marriage. Hell, you're going to ruin him. Look at how your influence makes him act. It's like you're trying to seduce him.
The Hyuuga saw her shift in emotions. "You're going to tell me I shoudn't have done that."
She glared holes into the floorspace beside his feet.
"No, you shouldn't have. Don't act like you've got me all figured out. You don't know me."
I'm manipulative.
"Yes, I do."
"Oh please. You don't know anything about me outside of battle."
"You're left handed. The strong flavor of umeboshi makes your eyes water. You prefer nights over mornings. You bite your nails when you're angry. You change the barrette in your hair every week. You're good with children. There's a small scar on your right cheekbone under your bangs. And you're poor at reading maps. I know you, Ino."
She was stunned by the intimacy of the moment, the tender tone in his voice as for once he said her first name instead of calling her 'Yamanaka'. Still, she clenched her jaw and frowned at the man standing calmly before her.
"That doesn't change anything."
"It changes everything."
"I already know where your heart is."
She started to turn away, stopping the conversation, stopping the contact.
Just stopping.
He blocked her.
"...what if it's with you?"
All of the air went out of her lungs. It was the pheremones talking, it was. It had to be. It was easy to confuse likelustlove even when clear-headed and under chemically-induced hormones she was sure it was impossible to differentiate. She wouldn't dare let herself believe that there was any sincerity in that statement, wouldn't dare take it for truth because believing would leading to hoping and Ino knew...
"Then it's in pieces. I don't want to be loved with a piece of a heart, Neji."
...that there was still Tenten. And whatever was building between them could be nothing more than an anti-romance; a cheap imitation of a fairytale love story.
A look passed in his eyes as if he were willing her to understand him and Neji lifted her chin and kissed her again, and she let him. In the back of her head Ino kept warning herself that this was just a kiss, that she'd been kissed hundreds of times and that this didn't mean anything to her. But it was no use because she knew that this moment would burn itself into her memory because it was everything to her, and to deny that was to deny the sun in the sky. Her conscience warned her: keep playing with fire and you're gonna burn. But whether she would admit it or not, it was already too late, she was already too far gone to care. It was all she could do to not throw her arms around his neck.
When they finally found the will to seperate their mouths some minutes later, both were deathly silent, eyes looking everywhere but at each other.
They came to a mutual decision to skip their alloted rest time and set out for Konoha early.
Passing through Konoha's gates, the awkwardness between the two jonin had yet to dissapate. They walked a wide eight feet apart from each other, the natural rhythm of their steps irregular and cautious. A wind blew at their backs but neither of them could enjoy it. A small distance into the village, Akamaru came barrelling out of nowhere and almost knocked Ino off her feet. He licked at her face, nudged her side roughly with his nose, and wagged his tail in elation. Initial shock subsiding, Ino pat his head and walked onward. Akamaru followed her like a lovesick puppy. Soon Kiba too was suddenly right beside Ino and practically drooling, trying not to be too obvious about checking her out while he made small talk. Neji frowned as he remembered a certain conversation he'd had with Kiba.
She's a knockout. I asked her out once.
He let his chakra spike and the dog-nin immediately backed up from Ino, granting her one last grin before trudging over to Neji.
Kiba chuckled. The Jyuuken user looked ready to slay dragons.
"Just a partner, right? If you don't fight for the things you want, people will take them from you."
"No one will take her from me."
Kiba shrugged, the carnal glint in his eyes still apparent. "She ain't yours."
Beyond Kiba, Neji could see Shiranui Genma and Namiashi Raidou chatting Ino up. His chest burned as he recognized the dog-nin was right; Ino wasn't his and never would be.
Ino took a deep breath and stretched from head to toe, feeling much cleaner and relaxed now that she'd washed away the chemicals that had just possibly ruined her 'professional' relationship with her partner. Stupid science with it's universal effictiveness. She pursed her lips and drifted out of her bathroom, walking past her pile of dirty clothes on the floor and coming to sit on the bed. I should probably take that extra vial of pheremones out of my weapons pouch before it gets broken or something. That'd be a problem. Can't let this stuff get anywhere near Neji again. Ino caught herself thinking about the kiss and quickly forced that image out of her mind. Snapping open her weapons pouch, Ino's hands froze.
Laying neatly across the rest of her items was a shiney ivory hairstick.
It was nothing fancy, by professional standards, but it was sleek and tapered to a fine point and in the event of emergency Ino imagined it would jam quite painfully into someone's coratid artery or eye socket with ease.
She didn't know how long she stared at the item before she got dressed, grabbed a bouquet of flowers downstairs, and headed out the front door. She felt dazed and allowed herself to zone out as her feet walked on autopilot, knowing the path she walked by heart. By the time she'd stopped, her mood had darkened from disbelieving to somber.
"Hey. I brought you some flowers. Cameilias this time, I know you don't like the fancy stuff."
Ino set the colorful flowers at the base of the headstone and knelt beside them, eyes cast downward almost in a refusal to look at the name on the granite.
"Sorry I haven't visited in a while, I don't really have an excuse. Asuka's growing up well. We're all taking good care of her. She's adorable and really clever, she'll break some hearts one day."
She forced a weak smile, then dropped it completely. It wasn't like he could see it anyway.
"Sensei, you never asked too much of us, but I think I'll have to break my promise. I think I'll lose to Sakura in love after all."
Ino shut her eyes and drew a deep, deep breath before she continued.
"I know Shikamaru was your favorite, he's a better listener than me and Chouji, but I always heard you. I didn't always understand, but I always heard you. Remember Shikamaru's celebration dinner after the first chuunin exams? The four of us sat down and we told you everything that happened before the matches - everything that happened in the Forest of Death. You told us you were proud we were brave, but that we were stupid for interfering with Sakura's team. That my bleeding heart was going to get us killed one day. You asked me why I was willing to lead my team to their deaths over something that didn't involve us. Do you remember what I said? Because I love Sasuke. Because love is worth pain, even death, and I wasn't afraid to die for it. And you told me it was foolish to risk death for someone who wouldn't do the same for me. That I was wasting my time and that wasn't real love. You said I'd know real love when I felt it."
"You were right. When it's real,"
She paused, collecting her thoughts.
"When it's real, it's real. You can ignore it, deny it, and reject it but it's still there, waiting. It doesn't go away. I understand that now, Asuma-sensei. I'm in love."
Her eyes watered and she tried in vain to blink away the moisture.
"But Shikamaru's right, he always is. It's hopeless to love someone who's unable to love me back. I'm really hardheaded, aren't I? To make the same mistake twice. Are you disappointed?"
She listened for an answer that would never come, remembering childhood dreams of a garden wedding she now knew she'd never have.
Meditating in the grassland behind his house, Neji finally loosened his grip on his thoughts. Though he tried in vain to redirect his focus, his mind invariably shifted right back to the one thing - or rather, person - he was trying to avoid. Yamanaka Ino. Stuck in his brain like an arrow.
The fact occurred to him, much overdue, that he was quite possibly in love with her. For real.
He hated himself for it.
He had been overindulgent, he knew that now, though no matter how much he tried he couldn't tell how much of it was her pheremones working and how much was his own infatuation. A kiss like that one could never happen again. Scratch that - no kiss with her could ever happen again. He hadn't even been able to look Tenten in the face when he got home, couldn't bear the shame and guilt he knew he'd feel looking into her chocolate brown eyes. He'd walked in the front door, announced he was going to go train with Hinata, and walked out the back door. Kami, who was he becoming?
Hinata had seen right through his wintry exterior and known something was wrong. And though she'd dodged and blocked through their entire practice in silence, in the end her compassionate nature had triumphed over her schooled detachment and she spoke out. Nii-san, you've worked so hard for your life. Aren't you happy? Not in a state to lie to her, he'd ignored her words altogether.
As luck would have it Hiashi too had been studying his change in demeanor as he fought Hinata, and when his daughter left at the end of her taining session, Hiashi had come to sit beside him. Quietly, his uncle asked him if he'd recently taken a lover.
Neji denied it.
And here he was now. Here he was now, unable to do anything more than to wish away his problems. He wished he'd never fallen for Ino. He wished he'd never been teamed up with her. He wished Naruto hadn't changed him during the chuunin exams, that he'd still be a bitter, lonely person pushing everyone and everything away from him. He wished Tenten had never fallen in love with him. He wished he'd taken Ino up on that offer in the Forest of Death so many years ago.
But it was much too late to be making wishes, the past would never change.
A / N : 14 chaps in and this is as much NejIno as I've given you? You guys must be angels, I would be raging if I were you. Rest assured that your patience will be rewarded. And be careful, Kiba. Don't make Neji go Incredible Hulk on your ass. Been planning that kiss scene since forever, I'm rather please with how it turned out. My heart's kinda going out to Tenten right now, but things are what they are. Also: Ricochet has fanart! Links on my profile~