Ricochet
He had been studying scrolls containing advanced Hyuuga techniques for three hours already while Tenten watched, anxiously hovering under the doorway. Seven long strips of parchment stretching in neat parallel lines laid out before him and a cup of tea sat untouched at his side as Neji sat in complete concentration. She hadn't seen him study in a long while, having mastered all existings forms of Jyuuken while still a teenager, and seeing him do it now made her skin prickle ominously. She had woken up this morning with the confidence of finally having made a decision: regardless of the risks involved, she would tell Neji about the baby she was carrying. He had a right to know, a right to bask in that knowledge even if there would be complications. He had a right to share the experience with her.
But...what had made him dig those scrolls out all of the sudden? What had changed? What fresh hell was the Godaime sending her husband to that he felt the need to research his own techniques? It had been some time since Tenten had last picked up a dictionary, but she was pretty sure the term "prodigy" still referred to someone with superior understanding who wouldn't need to stoop down to the level of re-reading old information. It was strange, and it wasn't the first strange thing she had noticed about him lately. Namely, she had some lingering curiousity over one of his shirts that seemed to have sprung a single flower embellishment on one of the shoulders. Something about it riled her suspicion -just wouldn't leave her alone- but he never made any mention of how it got there.
She didn't dare ask about it. If she were honest with herself, she was beginning to resent that she would have to ask if she ever wanted to know. And not just about the stupid flower. Why did she have to ask, why didn't he just tell her things? Maybe it was because she'd shed her occupation as a kunoichi, but more and more she felt like little secrets were being kept from her.
And maybe he wasn't, but maybe he was, and the fact that she could no longer say for sure which was true tormented her most of all.
Training was the answer, it had to be. If training wasn't the answer, then the right questions weren't being asked. Gai taught him that. And with his body already at it's peak physical condition, all Neji could think to do was to train his mind. More focus, more discipline, don't lose sight of the goal. Even if that goal was less than clear. He was fighting a losing battle against his feelings for Ino, that much was perfectly obvious. Perhaps he was fighting this the wrong way, but what else could he do? Wasn't the whole point of taking her on as a subordinate the fact that nobody else could work with him so flawlessly? He couldn't ask to be assigned a new partner now, the Hokage would pummel him. And any hope of simply maintaining a platonic relationship with Ino was long gone, there were far too many sparks flying for them to be "just friends". As if they'd ever been friends to begin with. The two of them had been many things - antagonists, teammates, admirers, saviors, confidants - but never friends. And they never would be.
Any way he looked at it, their lives were twined now, and part of that fusion had been his doing. He'd let emotions cloud his judgement and now it felt like everything in his life was out of balance. Even Tenten could feel it; he could sense the nervousness rolling off of her in waves. She always seemed to be just on the verge of saying something, only to clam up and walk away. Because of him and his uncertainty, his own wife didn't feel comfortable talking to him. And to think, he'd been entertaining the idea of starting a family! And for what? For the sake of pleasing his uncle? To give his wife a sense of being needed, to make up for not being able to give her the time and attention she deserved? A child wouldn't fix any of those things, only he could, he saw that now. If only he knew how.
"It doesn't even look like you tried to avoid this one. There's five shades of purple here, easy. Trust me, I know my shades of purple."
Mitarashi Anko snickered at the blonde tending her injuries and chewed more on her dango stick, the sweet syrup flavoring nearly gone. "I wasn't. Barely noticed it, really."
Ino rolled her eyes dramatically as she finished wrapping the muslin around the older kunoichi's midsection and secured it in place. She tried to avoid glancing at various two-pronged puncture scars dotting Anko's body almost in a pattern. Snake bites. All were old, all measured the same distance between the dual punctures. All from the same serpent. It was beautiful in a macabre kind of way.
"Somehow I find that hard to believe."
Anko made a show of popping her joints before standing up and and clothing the upper half of her body. "Believe what you want. Hate-sex is a pretty incredible thing and a damn good distraction if your timing's off."
It was too late to stop herself from making a face, but the medic tried to keep her brain from guessing who the snake mistress had had "incredible hate sex" with while she scribbled notes on her clipboard and told her rather impetuous patient she was free to go. Filing the new paperwork into Anko's medical records, Ino stole a stick of gum from Sakura's cubbyhole at the nurses' station before signing herself out and starting towards the door before supervisor Oyone called out to her.
"Oh Yamanaka-chan, are you on your way out? Would you do a final diagnostic on Lee-kun before you go? He's being discharged later today."
"Sure."
Lee? Lee was in the hospital? He was practically indestructible! He was probably the only shinobi Ino knew who could spar with Neji when said Hyuuga was in a foul mood and survive. A feat which Ino was near certain had more to do with Lee's speed than anything else.
Turning on her heel, Ino drifted down the hospital hallways until she found room 216B and let herself in. To say she was unsurprised to see all the furniture moved to one side of the room while Lee did what could only be described as aerobics on steroids would be, well, true. The same could not be said for the sight of him doing so in a hospital gown. Buns of steel bared to the world. For once in her life wishing he was wearing the hideous crime of fashion that was his green jumpsuit, Ino covered her eyes with one hand. She wavered between being repulsed that it was Lee's bare backside she'd seen and being impressed that you could probably bounce coins off of it. Although if Lee's ass looked that good, she could only imagine what N-
"Ino-san, you have come to visit me? Have you brought Sakura-san with you?"
She dropped her hand, thankful to see he'd turned around to face her. "Nope. It's just me. I came to -You do know there's underwear on the bathroom shelf right?- I came to give you one last checkup before they release you."
Rock Lee's look noticably dimmed, his good-natured smile falling away into mere memory and he sunk onto the oatmeal colored blanket of his bed disappointedly. "I was hoping for the chance to see Sakura-san again before I leave."
Ino took a seat beside him, not entirely sure how to comfort the usually perky ninja but willing to try. "'Again'? That's good then, right? She's been coming to see you?"
"I requested her as my nurse."
Of course he did. His life revovled around Team Gai and Sakura; he probably considered it a convenience to have injuries severe enough to warrant admittance and weeks of recuperation. It would increase his chances of interaction with the only girl he'd ever took time off from training long enough to pursue. Speaking of girls Lee spent time with...
"Has Tenten come to see you? Does she know you're in here?"
His thick, caterpillar-like eyebrows met in contemplation and it was only then that Ino noticed his hair had grown enough to mostly cover them. Actually, now that she got a better look at him, it was brushing the tops of his shoulders. How many weeks had he been in the hospital?
"Sakura-san said she did." An almost wistful smile tugged at his lips before the taijutsu master seemed to remember something and his expression changed. "She said Tenten visited and that she will be back in some months. I did not understand what she meant, she said something about Neji being the cause of her illness? It does not make sense, Neji would never hurt Tenten."
"Tenten's sick? Whoa, wait, PAUSE. Sakura said she thought Neji was the reason?"
"I must have misunderstood?"
Somehow Ino doubted that. An astute medical protege like Sakura wouldn't say something like that for kicks and giggles.
"Is Neji well?"
Genuine concern shone in his eyes and Ino was struck by the childlike innocence there. He was an open book, completely unguarded even though he hardly knew her, and the awkwardness of having a heart-to-heart conversation with Konoha's Green Beast evaporated. The whole Nice Guy thing wasn't an act. Hell, if he'd just change his wardrobe... His birthday! Next time she spoke with Neji, she was going to ask him when Lee's birthday was and when it came he would be in for an Entire. Day. Of shopping. He could handle it, she was sure, and then she'd hunt him down a girlfriend. Somewhere there had to be a girl out there wishing for a bubbly, romantic warrior for a boyfriend.
Oh, hadn't he just asked her something about Neji?
"Yeah, Neji's fine. Don't worry, I take good care of him."
"Thank you, Ino-san."
A light breeze rushed across the tops of Ino's thighs when a mission scroll abruptly appeared in her lap, the familiar image of the Hokage's seal bearing up at her with all the lure of infamy and the promise of bloodshed. The sight of it never failed to make her heartrate drop in a moment of cold consideration. Would this be the mission that made her famous? Would this be the mission that maimed her career? Would this be the mission where she wouldn't be able to save Neji? It was a constant game of roulette and she always bet on red.
So much for making it to Yamaguchi's Boutique before the midday rush.
She bid Lee farewell, jotted down some closing remarks in his file, and left the hospital before any more favors could be asked.
She showed up on his doorstep unannounced with her hair swept back half up and half down, donning a white backless halter and a dark blue wrap skirt that barely landed mid-thigh. If she'd come over with the sole intention of distracting him it would have been mission accomplished, but the scroll gripped in her left hand told him otherwise. He invited her in with a slight incline of his head and she brushed past him, hints of lavender and jasmine trailing after her. Shutting the door, he wordlessly led her through the livingroom and down the hall, into the room he was using as a study. He took a seat crosslegged on the floor and Ino arched an eyebrow at the clutter, cleared some space between the documents, and planted herself so closely in front of him their knees touched. The mission scroll unfurled between them.
"This is where she's assigned us."
"How long ago was this delivered?"
"Half an hour. It's not time-sensitive, we should be able to take the full six days of travel, maybe even an extra half day if the weather's bad."
"Logistics look clean. Do you have the paperwork?"
"I will by the time we cross out of Fire Country borders. The shogun's kana are hard to imitate. He writes like he's had a stroke or has crippling arthritis or something. Horrible penmanship, horrible. I mean, if Oda-sensei could see it-"
"Ino."
"Right. But really, a chicken could write better."
"Then perhaps you should use a chicken."
In her outburst of laughter, she missed his amused smirk.
She almost didn't hear the knock at the door through her thoughtful daze, but Neji did and was already up and out of the room before it occurred to Tenten to get it herself. She watched the hallway he disappeared down before standing and retreating to their bedroom, disappointed with herself. She'd probably just missed her best chance of telling him today just because she couldn't bring herself to disturb him. Now, someone else had disrupted him and she doubted he'd be in the mood for what she had to tell him.
Curiousity got the best of her minutes later and she was back in the hallway when she heard bits of a conversation drifting out of their spare room. A female voice. Hyuuga? No, too informal, it was another shinobi. Taking light steps, Tenten strained to hear more as she crept closer to the room and the words became little clearer.
"...horrible. I mean, if Oda-sensei could see it-"
"Ino."
Ino? Yamanaka had come to her house again? What, were there no other places to- Okay, maybe there weren't too many other places to find Neji and talk to him, but this looked like the start of a bad habit. Did Ino come by when she wasn't around? Did Neji ever visit her at her house? Tenten's mind reeled. It wasn't that she disliked the blonde, not exactly, but just that...something about the way she acted like she had full access to Neji unsettled her. Probably because she did have full access to Neji, more than she did. As a civillian, her right to know where Neji went on missions and what he did was forfeited. She never even got to know what rank the missions were or how long he'd be gone, and all the while Ino was there, fighting right beside Neji wherever they were. In a way, she almost felt jealous.
"Right. But really, a chicken could write better."
"Then perhaps you should use a chicken."
Tenten frowned as she pressed herself against the wall. Was that a joke? From her husband? They joked with one another? Neji had never done that with Team Gai. As far as she knew, he didn't have a single funny bone in his body. She could have bet a million yen that he couldn't even recognize a joke when he heard one. Apparently, she would have been wrong. When did the two of them get that chummy? She reached the open door and angled her head to peep in at this bizarre meeting. As interesting as their banter had been, Tenten found that the real point of interest wasn't in their words at all.
The difference of atmosphere in the room was almost tangible, the dynamics of the two partners so distinct and foreign from what she'd known of Team Gai. It was everywhere, in everything they did while doing nothing at all. How they sat so closely together, with such familiarity. How their glances at each other lingered just a note too long, as if they were holding entire conversations just in the meeting of their eyes. The way Ino had his undivided attention. Neji was a different man around her in every way, from the cadence of his voice to the tilt of his head as he spoke. Somehow, Tenten had always been more aware -painfully so- of how empty the house was when Neji was home. Ino seemed to fill in those empty gaps and spaces effortlessly.
She studied the woman who commanded his attention so fully. The crinkle of her nose when she laughed, the contented smile she gave when she answered one of Neji's questions. The ivory stick the top half of her hair was wound around, so closely resembling the ivory dagger her husband had made for her. There was nothing particularly flirtatious going on, but the casual way the two related with each other belied the business matters they discussed.
They had a world inside of a world, and Tenten was not part of it.
The two stood abruptly, the discussion finished, and drifted into the hallway. Tenten took a polite step away from the door to give them space, though they barely seemed to notice her presence until they were at the other end of the hall, heading for the door when Ino called out to her.
"Bye Tenten! Lee says 'Get well soon.'"
Neji turned a curious glance her way. Tenten didn't say a word.
A certain Nara couldn't believe he'd let Chouji guilt him into this as he stood with his face upturned, contemplating a figure in a window. What he was about to do was going to be troublesome and dramatic and most likely end in failure.
But still.
After nearly two decades of friendship, he felt obligated to at least attempt a last-ditch effort. Ino was worth that. In front him, his silhouette pulled at it's hair and Shikamaru paid it no mind, firmly planting a foot on the side of the house and sauntering up it. The room darkened noticably as he crawled through the window with practiced ease. Ino flashed him a quick smile, her focus never entirely leaving the wreath she seemed to be working on.
"A visit, finally! I was starting to think you were turning into a groundhog or something. To what do I owe the honor?"
The Shadow user leaned on the wall near the window, hands settled in his pockets as he regarded his friend's cheery attitude. He shrugged, reluctant to dampen her mood but knowing it was unavoidable.
"Chouji said I was being a coward again. I promised to be better than that, years ago. Not just on missions, but in life."
Ino paused a second, her hands hovering over the flowers unsteadily before she grasped the string to bind them to the circle of twigs and branches.
"Yeah? Well, you're a chicken - to put it mildly - that's nothing new. Me and Chouji still love you."
She said the words so freely. Just for being friends; just for staying by her side she loved them. Ino gave so much of herself so easily, she always had. He could work out probability and schematics in seconds to decide whether or not a person was trustworthy - and she could as well, when doing her duty as a shinobi - but when it came to personal life, Ino went with blind trust. It was something the he both admired and found incredibly naive. His mouth itched for nicotine and fingers caressed the box the cigarettes in his pants pocket.
"Let's hear that after I say what I came to say."
Ino pursed her lips as she wrapped a ribbon around the wreath and started adding finishing touches. "What're you muttering about? You've said all kinds of stupid things and I'm still your friend."
"Because I'm usually right."
"Even if that wasn't the case. Unparalleled teamwork, remember? Friendship is the heart of cooperation. It's part of the package."
He closed his eyes, opened them, then withdrew his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Friendship. Right. He was trying to be a better friend right now, he hoped she'd realize that later. "You haven't mentioned any dates in a while."
"Haven't been on any."
"Shortage of men?"
Sarcasm reared it's ugly head. Though he rarely had the motivation to bother being snarky, the fact that Ino had dated so many high profile shinobi in the village had always left a sour taste in his mouth.
"Shortage of interest."
"In men? Or just in men that aren't him?"
Her hands stilled again as the implication hung in the air. Oh Kami. Had she said too much, been to specific when she'd spoken to him last? Had she slipped up and given some sign of who had captured her affections? Possibly. Maybe. She didn't know and it didn't exactly matter. This was Shikamaru, he was bound to put the pieces together eventually. No, not eventually, but soon. He was a premier strategist; all he would need was one or two clues to accurately gauge a situation to the finest detail.
Sometimes she wished she had dumb friends.
"No smoking in my room!"
He flicked the lighter off with a short sigh of frustration and the unlit cigarette tucked in the corner of his mouth drooped in disappoinment. Persuasive speech was never his forte to begin with, and now he'd have to lecture her without the calm, smokey flavor of tobacco. This was going well. Really. Should've made Chouji do this himself.
"I knew this would be troublesome. We both know what I'm talking about. Are you really going to put yourself through this again? Giving your heart to someone who will treat it like toilet paper?"
At that she felt just the slightest bit resentful. He was here to warn her about how stupid she was being. He'd warned her about Sasuke too, way back in their academy days. What was he, her external conscience? The feeling of deja vu made her queasy. Her volume dropped and her voice strained as she replied.
"Stay out of it, Shika. You don't know him. This is different."
"Is it? Tell me, Ino, which part is different? The part where you fall for the talented guy with a tragic past? The part where you try to figure him all out and fix him, but can't? Or the part where you realize you're not important to him, not enough for him to choose you over-"
"Get out." She'd never banished him from her room before, but he'd struck a nerve. Intentionally. And whether he was trying to give her some insight or perspective or whatever, she just couldn't let that slide.
Everything stopped. Everything save for the steady thump of their hearts and the quiet stretching of lungs. He'd expected yelling and defensiveness and, well, rage. Not this. Not the hurt and the wisdom sitting so plainly in her eyes. She knew already what she was getting herself into, his warning had come too late to make any difference. Like a captain on a sinking ship, Ino had made her peace with where her heart had led her. Though she was the same old Ino in most aspects, maturity had changed her from the girl who'd once lived on hopes and expectations and part of him mourned the loss of her endless optimism. She was helplessly drawn to damaged people, and no amount of positivity would fix that.
"Look, I'm not here to try and stop you, I'm just here to remind you. It's not an easy path you're choosing, Ino. You won't get a fairytale ending from this. If this is your choice, I hope it's what you really want."
He started to leave, then turned to face her one more time, wearing the most serious expression Ino had seen on him since Asuma died.
"But I want you to know that you deserve better."
He was gone before the first teardrop hit the floor.
"Neji?"
She knew he was awake, not that there was much to indicate so from the view of his back. Not even his breathing pattern could give away if he was conscious or not, so strong was his level of self control, but she knew in a way she supposed only a wife could know her husband. In the way she thought she knew her husband. Until today.
"Yes?"
His voice answered her, level and alert and completely unsurpised that she was awoke and speaking despite getting into bed three hours ago. And though Tenten never forgot how impossible it was to catch Neji with his defense down, she wondered at his reasons for not being asleep. Was he being distant? Was he irritated she hadn't mentioned she'd been sick while he was gone? Was he thinking about his upcoming mission?
...or was he thinking about his mission partner? Maybe it was hormones talking, but deep in her heart something whispered that every time her husband left on a mission, less of him returned back to her. She didn't know where the rest went and she was beginning to think she didn't want to know. Surely she was being paranoid? Insecurity was a normal side effect of exposure to painfully beautiful people. Just because Ino was attractive and charming and spent more time with her husband in the past year than Tenten had in three didn't mean there was anything suspicious going on. Neji was still Neji, even if he was a different "Neji" around the Yamanaka. Even if he kept things from her.
"Nevermind."
When she looked at it that way, would it really be such a terrible thing to keep this baby a secret, just a little bit longer? Just to have something to herself?
A / N : An update appears! Author uses Apology! Readers use Eyeroll. The narritive of this chapter feels different somehow, idk why. But all along you guys have seen how Neji and Ino see each other, so I thought I'd show you the way other people see them; the way Hanabi and Kiba see them :) Lol, friendly reminder: this fic is gonna get dark. If that's not your thing, you're gonna be heartbroken. And next chap should be up within 30 days if I can help it.