Disclaimer: Naruto, its characters and concepts belong to their rightful owner. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Warnings: The usual. Swearing , Sasuke x Naruto (male x male), mentions of mental illness and treatment, as well as suicide attempt.

Authors Notes: Yey! Reunion time! There's probably another chapter (possibly two) after this, just so you know. Thanks again to all who reviewed! You're all awesome!

Chapter 37: I'd Rather Be With You

And maybe then we'll finally see
There is no need to try
All our lives
For a reason why

The Reason Why by Ron Sexsmith

Naruto walked through the arrival gate at the airport with his backpack slung over one shoulder. It was late at night, and there weren't that many people around at all, making the artificial lighting turn the place desolate and lonely.

He stopped after walking out into the warm night air. He had no idea where to find Sasuke, and even though Lady Mikoto had given him Sasuke's address, he highly doubted that he would find him there. It was a Friday night after all, and he knew that Sasuke had mentioned having a busy social life when he was away from the stifling atmosphere of his family life.

Naruto pulled his phone out of his pocket and thumbed through his contacts, finding a familiar name. He couldn't even remember why he had the number or how he had been given it, but he was suddenly glad that he had it

Gaara answered the phone eventually, the background noise almost drowning out his grumpy "hello?".

"Gaara, it's Uzamaki Naruto," he said swallowing the nervousness that suddenly swamped him. "I worked as…."

"I know who you are."

Naruto didn't know Gaara well enough to read his tone, so he counted that as a win and moved on quickly.

"Look, Sasuke's mother wants me to talk to him. His father's very…."

"I know about his heart attack," Gaara interrupted. "She sent you as her messenger boy, is that it?"

Naruto ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, I know I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now, but Sasuke needs to go home. His father is dying, and his family needs him and I speak from personal experience that Sasuke will never forgive himself if he isn't there."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line, and Naruto silently cursed himself. Gaara was his only chance at finding Sasuke. His only other option was sitting outside his building for the rest of the night, and he was tired and nervous and in no state to spend the night out on the cold pavement. Not mention how stupid and pathetic he would feel if it came to that.

"Spunky," Gaara said eventually, sounding faintly impressed. "Are you sure this is the same Naruto I met before?"

Naruto bit back his retort, squinting into the distance.

"Look, can you help me or not? If you won't I really should be figuring out how I'm going to find him."

"Where are you now?"

"The airport. I arrived half an hour ago."

"Got a pen? Get yourself to this address." Gaara said.

"Are you with him now?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"I am. And I swear to god Naruto, if you hurt him any more than he already is, I'll…."

"I'm not here to hurt him," he assured him quietly.

"Good," Gaara said, and hung up on him.

Naruto blinked at the phone in his hand in surprise before tucking it away to hail a taxi.

The city that Sasuke had settled in was a bustling, busy place. Naruto could only recall a handful of times he had been to a city, so he watched the speeding lights and signs avidly through the window of the taxi. Buildings towered into the night sky, the streets were crowded with people and cars, and he could see how easily a person could become just another faceless person in a crowd. It was a good place to disappear in plain sight.

The drive took about 45 minutes and as the time sped by, Naruto's heart sped up. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to convince Sasuke to return home. He held out one of his hands and watched it tremble slightly for a moment before curling it into a fist and recalling some of the relaxation techniques his therapist had taught him.

The taxi dropped him off on the corner of a street that was surprisingly quiet. The building before him was massive and he stepped into the foyer slowly. Never had he felt so out of place in his casual jeans, plain white t-shirt and worn boots. He hoisted his pack higher on his shoulder and headed for the elevators. His destination was the top floor, which didn't surprise him at all.

He could hear the music as soon as he stepped out of the elevator onto the plush carpet, and he knew that that was probably the place he was looking for. There were a few people standing in the hallway and he stepped through the open front door, ignoring the looks that he was receiving. The place was pretty crowded, the lights down low and the music loud. The smell of alcohol was strong in the air and he recoiled instinctively but he strengthened his resolve and moved into the crowd.

He spotted Sasuke before he himself was noticed, and took a moment to drink in the sight of him. He was stretched out on a couch, looking relaxed and bored. He was surrounded by people and yet he still seemed to be a world apart from them. His hair was shorter, and he was dressed as stylishly as ever, in tightfitting jeans and a tight, long sleeved dark grey shirt.

Naruto's heart constricted in his chest, and he was consumed instantly with such a fierce longing that it brought tears to his eyes. But mostly, he was relieved to be seeing him again, which was something he had never thought was possible.

He moved forward until he was in Sasuke's line of vision and practically standing before him. It took a moment for Sasuke's eyes to wander to him, but when they finally set upon him Sasuke froze. They stared at each other for a long, painful moment before Sasuke was moving.

Before he knew it, Sasuke had his arms wrapped tightly around Naruto. He dropped his bag instantly and held him back, burying his face in that strong shoulder and inhaling that beautiful, intoxicating scent of his once more. And it was in that moment that he knew he was home again.

They stood there for a long time, ignoring the whispering and talking around them. Naruto pressed his face into Sasuke's neck briefly before Sasuke drew away, leaving his hands on his shoulders. He said nothing, and just studied Naruto's face.

He opened his mouth to say something, then frowned and looked around. Naruto knew what he meant instantly; it was too crowded and noisy to talk in the room. Sasuke grabbed his hand, which sent a thrill of heat through his body.

He had enough time to grab his backpack before Sasuke pulled him from the room, through a door, up a staircase and out into a beautiful and deserted little courtyard. Sasuke walked away from him for a minute before turning back to look at him with unreadable eyes.

"You look different," Sasuke said eventually. "You've grown."

That was an understatement, Naruto thought to himself, knowing exactly how much he had changed. He wasn't the willowy boy he had been a year and a half ago. He had put on weight and muscle and added a couple of inches. He was healthy, with a healthy appetite, and he supposed that it would be a shock to Sasuke.

After all, he would never have pictured himself to have thrived physically after Sasuke had left either.

Sauske stared at the face that had been haunting him for the last year and a half, unable to comprehend that Naruto was really here, in his world for a change. It had felt like he had been jolted with electricity when he had laid eyes on that face he loved so much. And wasn't it a kick in the pants to realise just how much he loved Naruto once they had broken up?

Seeing him again was making his heart pound in his chest and his stomach churn with a hurricane of emotion. Anger. Pain. Disbelief.

He had honestly believed that they would never see each other again. Time had dulled his memories of Naruto and he had forgotten how blue his eyes were, and how gold his hair.

But he was changed, different, and he didn't know how he felt about that. He looked healthier, and happier, and that stung him in the worst way. Naruto was closer to his height now and broader in the chest and shoulders. He was obviously heavier and more muscular but still lean and fit. And the plainness of his clothes was something of a relief after a year and a half of living in a world where people wore the latest fashion every day.

Looking at him again, Sasuke felt anger and frustration, stronger than he had felt since he had left. His world was spinning off its axis again, and it was all because of Naruto. Every time he was around, Sasuke was helpless in a torrent of new and terrifying emotions that no one else could inspire in him.

It was the dullness of his life since they had broken up was what was killing him. Every day was the same, unexciting, boring and monotonous. He hated everything about his world, and he didn't know what to do about it. Going home hadn't been an option; he hated his father too much and loved Naruto too strongly to be reminded every waking minute of what he had lost. He had refused every order his father had made to start making wedding plans, and hadn't participated in any of the dinners or meetings his father had set up.

Before, he would probably have gone along with a planned marriage without even caring that much. He would have married some poor girl and gone on with his life as he always had. But that was before Naruto had come along, with his wholesome goodness, his honesty and sincerity, and that sweet good-naturedness. After him, there could be no one else for Sasuke. He had put ideas and dreams in Sasuke's head, made him think and actually hope for a future and for happiness. And to have all of that ripped away from him so suddenly and so viciously had been a bitter disappointment that he was still struggling with.

And there he was, staring back at him with none of the shyness or uncertainty that he was used to. How could he just show up here and change all of the rules? The one thing he could have counted on was knowing Naruto and how he would react to things and then he had gone and changed.

"Yeah, I've been…" Naruto began to say, but Sasuke cut him off.

"I heard you left the stables," he said sharply. "Mother told me a couple of weeks ago. Where have you been?"

"I'll tell you," Naruto said. "I'll tell you later, I promise. Maybe when you're not so angry with me."

"I want to know now, Naruto," Sasuke replied, trying to hold onto his frayed temper. His nerves were shot because of the loud music and the crowd of people at a party he hadn't even wanted to attend, but Naruto didn't know that, and he didn't deserve to have it taken out on him. "I deserve to know. The whole reason I left was because you said…."

He broke off, not wanting to delve into the matter so soon. He was still shocked from seeing Naruto again, his body still tingling from their embrace, making it hard to concentrate.

"I've been at a recovery centre," Naruto said after a moment. "In therapy. I've been diagnosed with a form of bipolar disorder and I've been on a treatment program for that."

Sasuke stared at him in shock.

"But…what made you…why would you…." He gave up, frustrated and went back to looking at Naruto, not quite sure what to day.

"I accidently overdosed on drugs and alcohol, after you left," Naruto told him quietly, looking down at the ground with shame on his face. "I almost died."

Sasuke suddenly felt sick, angry and guilty all at once. Naruto had almost died? And no one had told him?

"Why didn't you call me?" he exploded, burying his hands in his hair and pacing away from him. "I would have come. You know I would have!"

"I know," Naruto said quickly, holding his hands up. "I know you would have. And nothing would have changed. I made the decision on my own to get help, and if you had come home I don't think I could have done that. I'm…Look, I'm better, a lot better."

"So you're saying you're better off without me?" Sasuke asked, with a bitter laugh. Inside he felt as if someone had sliced him open with a knife, and all of his insides were on display for the world to see. Inside, all he felt was hurt.

"You know that's not true, Sasuke. I never could…" Naruto's eyes seemed to fill, but he blinked them away as he moved closer to Sauske. "I love you. I always have, and I always will and I will never be better off without you. Never."

Sasuke's heart skipped a beat at those words, and he felt dizzy and tired from all of the conflicting emotions that were rushing through him. Damn Naruto anyway, for being able to say those words so easily and blatantly when the words came to Sasuke so sluggishly, and he always felt like a fool for saying it even when he felt it so strongly.

Naruto approach him and cupped Sasuke's face in his hands. He smiled at Sasuke, his eyes filling slowly.

"I missed you so much. And I think about you every day."

Sasuke closed his eyes, and Naruto pressed their foreheads together.

"Say you missed me too. That you still love me," Naruto whispered, his breath warm against Sasuke's frigid skin.

"I did. I do. Of course I do," Sasuke managed, and Naruto sighed with something like relief.

They stood there, frozen like that for a few minutes before Sasuke cleared his throat to speak.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. You look good though."

Naruto pulled back and smiled at him.

"It's okay, Sasuke. I still believe that it was for the best at the time," he said.

"And now? Do you still feel the same now?" Sasuke asked with his heart in his throat.

Naruto sighed and slowly pulled his hands away looking troubled.

"I don't know anymore," he replied honestly, before looking Sasuke in the eyes again. "You know that your mother asked me to come and find you?"

Now it was Sasuke that pulled away and backed off.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Because of my father."

He still had no idea how he felt about that. Confused certainly, and pained at the thought of his father like that. And shamefully maybe a little glad. He told Naruto so, expecting condescension, and perhaps even scorn, but he should have known that Naruto was more understanding than that.

"That just means you're human," Naruto said. "Look, I know you have a complicated relationship with your father. But when I lost my father, I didn't have a chance to tell him how sorry I was about what happened to him. I wanted to explain my actions and be forgiven, but he never woke up."

Sasuke moved closer to him again, and touched his hand fleetingly, meaning to convey comfort. Because he could see that old pain and guilt hovering in Naruto's eyes, but he could also see acceptance now. Sasuke received a smile and a hand squeeze from Naruto for his understanding.

"So trust me when I say that if your father dies and you didn't take the opportunity to talk things out with him? You will regret it for the rest of your life. And that's a very long time to hold on to that anger Sasuke. Eventually you will hate yourself for not taking the opportunity."

Sasuke absorbed his words silently, knowing that he was probably right. He spoke with a clarity that came with experience, and he would be a fool not to heed the advice. But admitting defeat to his father was a difficult thing, and he had never been good at it. It usually took someone practically shoving his face in his mistake to make him appologise even when he was a child.

"So will you fly back? Your mother needs you," Naruto said earnestly.

Sasuke shot him an annoyed look. "I would probably have gone anyway. Eventually."

Naruto smiled at him, looking immensely relieved and happy. But the truth was Sasuke had no idea what would happen if his father died. But first and foremost in his mind was the blaring possibility that he and Naruto could be together again.

Lord, but he missed Naruto. Missed holding him, and kissing him. He missed making love to him, and making him laugh and smile. He wanted to make Naruto happy but he had no idea how to do that. He was a complicated and complex person, and Sasuke often felt like a bumbling fool in front of him.

He sat down suddenly, on one of the low benches around the edge of the courtyard and held his head in his hands. He felt Naruto sit next him, close but not too close.

"And you?" he asked eventually. "What are you going to do?"

"Me?" Naruto asked, sounding surprised. "I'm probably going back to the centre."

Sasuke looked up at that, pain taking hold of his heart once more. He looked over his shoulder at Naruto. He opened his mouth to ask another question but Naruto beat him to it.

"What's your fiancé like?" he asked suddenly.

Sasuke saw pain and loneliness in Naruto's eyes, and hated himself for being responsible for it, however indirectly. He hated that he had been born into such a birth right of wealth and all of the things it brought with it.

"She's…." Sasuke sat up properly and sighed. "She's perfectly normal. And in any other life we probably would have been happy together eventually. But she's not…"

"She's not what?" Naruto prompted gently, looking at him searchingly.

"She's not you," Sasuke replied quietly. "You've ruined me for anyone else Naruto. I still want us to be…us again. You realise that if my father dies, that you and I can…"

"I know," Naruto said, dropping his head back to look at the sky. The stars were hidden from them by the bright city lights, and the sound of traffic from far below was like white noise. They were in their own little world again, just like old times, and his heart was aching for the way things used to be. It ached for the way things could be in the future, and he wanted that so badly for them both.

"I don't want to rush into anything, Sasuke," Naruto said, and he sounded so firm and sure. Sasuke was shocked yet again by how much he had changed. "If your father….if he passes away then I think…I would like…"

Sasuke took his hand and interlaced their fingers, that simple touch sending a thrill through his body, making him ache and feel alive like he hadn't for a year and a half.

"I think we could be together." Naruto said slowly. "But before we do, before we can move on, I want to finish my treatment at the centre. I feel like I owe it to myself and to you to do that. But I don't know how long that will take, and it wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to wait."

Sasuke snorted inelegantly. "If you think I'm not going to wait for you Naruto then you have another thing coming. I'd wait for as long as it takes for you to feel like you're ready for a life with me."

"It could be years, Sasuke," Naruto pointed out softly. "My medication and therapy will probably be for life, but I don't know how long it will be until I feel ready to leave the centre."

Sasuke dropped Naruto's hands and cupped his face.

"I don't care, Naruto. It's worth it. You're worth it. I want to be with you, and I'll do whatever it takes. I'll be waiting for you no matter how long," he said fiercely. "I love you."

Naruto smiled so brilliantly at those words, and tears spilled down his face at last as Sasuke bent to kiss him.

TBC