Scotch in hand he paced around his library. His body was tense and his mind betrayed his every memory. He thought back to her abrupt change in attitude. The way her body felt against his, her lips on his, the smell of her skin. His pacing became more erratic, swigging from his glass. He didn't know how long he had been awake or how much scotch he had drunk. He was empty, nothing mattered.
He paused, heart pounding as he heard her stir in his bed upstairs. Thinking of her in his bed, covered in nothing but a sheet sent heat to his lower body but a coldness to his heart. She wouldn't be there for long. She would wake, remember and run away. She would regret it, regret him, and regret them. He swallowed deeply as she came down the stairs. He slumped into his arm chair waiting for her to sneak past his library and out the front door.
He kicked himself mentally for giving into his want, his need. He now knew how it felt to be with her, to have her love and it would be snatched from his grasp after he'd finally taken it. God he loved her, her light, her beauty. He pictured her beneath him, eyes locked on his as they moved together. He shook it from his memory as he heard her enter the room.
"Klaus?" she called to him. His heart stopped. He wished her torture would end. Hearing her call his name was music to his ears. But he knew what was to follow would break him completely. He saw her step before him, wearing only his shirt. He couldn't look at her, he focused on her feet. Trying to stop himself from running away like a coward.
She bent down to meet his eyes. As she bent he had the most delicious view of down her shirt, her lack of underwear immediately visible. He couldn't look her in the eyes. She would see his vulnerability. See the pain she caused him. She stood up straight and he heard her hesitate "Klaus, I…ah…" This was it. The beginning of his end. The day his sorry excuse for humanity would be lost forever. The moment his heart would shatter into pieces. He couldn't take her silence, she was never quiet, yet in this moment she was lost for words.
"Just say it Caroline" he hadn't meant to snap at her but his internal damnation was externalising itself. He saw her flinch in the corner of his eye. He felt terrible instantly; he wanted to cause her no pain, regardless of the anguish she caused him.
"Just say it Caroline, Just say it" he forced himself to say. He didn't want her to say it, but he knew she had to. How could she not regret what had happened between them. It was the pattern for them, they'd have a moment- which in this case was a massive understatement, and then she would push him away. "I don't know what you want me to say" she muttered, he heard her voice break.
He couldn't stand how close they were to each other, he wanted to crush his lips to hers and hold her. He quickly got up from his seat and flashed past her to lean on the fireplace. He couldn't face her. He heard her slip into his arm chair. The visions of her shirt crawling up her legs flashing through his mind evaporated as she cried out "I'm sorry". He heard her crying quietly to herself. His breathing became laboured and uneven as tears escaped his own eyes. He felt weak and he hated it.
He felt her body press against his, her arms wrapping around his chest, her head leaning on his shoulder. His breath hitched in his throat, they're bodies were like magic together. She made him feel whole with the simplest of touches. "Caroline" he drawled, leaning into her embrace. He didn't want her to leave him. He wanted to be with her always.
He spun around to face her as he felt her hands caress his chest. He knew she was trying to console him but a fire was ignited deep within him. A rogue tear escaped his eye as he looked down at her. She reached out and wiped his face and he couldn't help but lean into her touch.
"Please just say it love, it's killing me, tell me the truth" he whispered swallowing deeply. He was so conflicted. Here she was in his house in only his shirt after a passionate night together consoling his broken heart that she was yet to break. He wanted to kiss her but he knew he never would again. It would be over soon.
He heard her swallow "I'm sorry…" Klaus stepped back, he knew it was coming but he had underestimated how much it would hurt. He felt his heart break as she said those two simple words. "I'm sorry that I used you and manipulated your feelings for me. I'm sorry that I hurt you over and over again" she cried running her hands through her hair. He knew she was flustered, but he let her continue trying to remain stoic, having showed his cards to early. "I'm sorry that I took too long, and for not realising what was right in front of me. I'm sorry for not being good enough" she whispered.
Klaus was shocked, what was she saying to him? He felt his face tense as he tried to follow her statement. No good enough? How could she ever be not good enough? She was as close to perfection as a woman could be. She was beautiful inside and out. Her body was divine yet her soul was so much more. Her light, her compassion and humanity radiated out her like the sun. She challenged him at every opportunity and made him strive to be a better person. He wanted to be better for her. He was desperate to be good enough for her; she was beyond too good for him.
"Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Not good enough? I have told you countless times you are perfect Caroline, you are perfect for me" his voice cracked as his tears threatened to spill out. He felt vulnerable once again. Showing his devotion when at any moment he would be rejected for the final time.
"You don't have to make excuses Caroline, just tell me you regret it and it was a mistake and I promise to never tell anyone of this night" he whispered looking towards the fire. He couldn't look at her. He heard Caroline giggle, a giggle that turned into laughter and was very soon a fit of laughter. His head snapped up staring at her, did she care so little she could laugh in his face? "Caroline" he yelled feeling his rage boil over, Caroline stopped laughing immediately, the tears still present in her eyes.
"You say you're sorry for hurting me, yet you stand here and laugh at me" he felt his body tense. Love was a weakness, at any moment it could destroy you. He wanted to run away. "Klaus" she said raising her voice getting his attention. "I do not regret what happened between us, if anything I regret waiting as long as we did" she smiled reaching out to touch his face. Klaus felt the electricity between them as she touched him; and coupled with her words it was intense. She didn't regret what had happened? Was this a game to her? If so, he was losing. "The thing is Klaus…" she started. He knew it. He had been on a rollercoaster of emotion in the last 24 hours. She was gone, she was his, she gone again, she was his and finally now he will learn that she is gone. She will never be his. He had to cut her off, he couldn't hear it. He would live for an eternity pretending they had a chance. He could do that. It was a kinder fate. As he opened his mouth to speak Caroline covered his mouth with her finger.
He swallowed deeply and held his breath. "The thing is Klaus; I think I'm in love with you". He couldn't think, he couldn't move, he couldn't speak. It was like fireworks in his mind. He was trying to understand what she had said. Did she say that? Did she mean it? Did he mishear? His skin became clammy as his heart raced. She loved him. How is it possible that someone as beautiful and heavenly could love someone as dark as him? He would never understand it but he would cherish it every day for eternity.
"Seriously?" he heard her say, it was enough to pull him out of his mind. He looked at her but it was too late she was walking away. He felt his heart break. He never wanted to see her walk away again. They would be together always. He moved towards her, but time seemed to stand still, making his journey to her excruciatingly slow. She was on her way to the stairs when he reached out and grabbed her elbow. Her skin was like silk. She turned her face to look at him a pained expression on her face. She had interpreted his silence as rejection and no that of complete and utter shock.
"Caroline… I love you" he managed to spit out. His heart was pounding, trying to escape out of his chest cavity. His skin was hot and his mind clouded. But Caroline was clear, she was all he saw. She reached out and grabbed his face forcefully. Their lips met and he felt the charge through his body. He kissed her passionately. He would kiss her like this every minute of every day for their eternity together. He loved her and she was his, always.