Disclaimer: I don't own VA. The song Back To December belongs to Taylor Swift.
I laughed, and then stood up. "Mia's here? I didn't realise."
"Yeah, let's go see her and say hi whilst we request her services."
As we were walking across the room towards the stage, we were intercepted by the very person I had been trying so hard to avoid. As my eyes met Dimitri's, a flash of electricity seemed to jolt through my body, causing my broken heart to jump back to life and start hammering like crazy.
Seeing him through Lissa's eyes hadn't done him justice. He was still as beautiful as I remembered, though he looked like he needed a good night's sleep. Travelling had obviously kept him up last night, I refused to think about what else could have kept him up at night.
"Rose. I saw your Trial. You were amazing, by far the best novice there. Your mother must be so proud of you." His voice made me feel weak at the knees, but I forced myself to stay upright.
"She is. So is my father."
"You met him?"
"Yes, Guardian Belikov. How have you found guarding your new charge?" It killed me to ask the question, but it seemed my heart was determined to rip itself to pieces even more than it already had.
He looked uneasy. Good, serves him right for leaving me for Bitchface. "It's been...Different."
I'll bet it has. Having a girlfriend you don't have to keep secret, and seeing her all the time. Bitch.
I didn't have an answer to this, so we lapsed into uncomfortable silence.
"So, how are you enjoying your graduation party?" He asked, directed at both Lissa and I.
Ever the one to avoid awkward situations, she stayed silent. I wanted to answer terrible, but instead I said;
"Fine." The universal code for when everything in life is shit, but you can't say that because the reason for your heartache is the one asking. "It's a nice night for it. Excuse me, I have to go and speak to Mia. The karaoke will be starting soon, and she wants us to be there. Have a nice night, Guardian Belikov."
With that I turned and stalked away, dragging Lissa with me. I thought I heard Roza, but it was quiet as a breath, and it wouldn't have been the first time I had imagined hearing his voice.
We met up with Mia, and Lissa told her our plan for Dimitri and Tasha. Mia laughed and agreed, and we all took a swig from the flask of vodka she had with her. Well, it was my last night before guarding Lissa non-stop, so I figured it would be ok to let go a bit. I needed to.
We were standing off to the side of the room. Lissa, Mia, Eddie and I were in a tight huddle, laughing our asses off at Christian and Adrian. Tasha was in deep conversation with my parents, as she had just been introduced to my new-found father. Dimitri was nowhere to be seen, thankfully.
Christian and Adrian left the stage, replaced by a brown-haired dhampir in a beautiful green dress, apparently confessing her love for a guy who had never realised it before, as she had never had the courage to tell him for fear of rejection. Her singing voice was beautiful, and I really hoped she got the guy. Someone deserved to be happy tonight.
I was close to tears as she left the stage, and told Lissa I wanted to go. As I turned to leave, I heard something that stopped me in my tracks.
"This is Dimitri Belikov, with Back to December."
Whispers started up around me, due to the fact that an ex-Guardian of the school was going to sing, a Taylor Swift love song no less. I grabbed Lissa's hand, and she squeezed it back as we heard the opening music.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
His voice washed over me, it was like honey and silk.
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
I looked over to my parents, and saw them looking up the stage like everyone else in the room. Tasha had a look of disbelief on her face.
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
I looked up at him, and saw him looking straight into my eyes. That was when I realised he was singing to me.
That line was so true, I my guard had been up when I had just spoken to him, because the only other option would be to break down in tears in front of him. But he knew me too well to fool him.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left you there to die
The rose thing was kinda funny, if you didn't take it literally. He gave me a sad smile. Well, at least he knew how much he hurt me.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
December. The day we came back from the ski trip, back at school when I was still recovering from Spokane, when I needed him more than ever.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I could hear a group of Dhampirs behind me whispering to each other.
Who do you think he's talking about? Was it another one of the teachers? Whoever she was, lucky her, I mean Guardian Belikov! Yeah, but her left her! What a douche. Well, they'd be in for a surprise later.
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
That makes 2 of us.
These days, I haven't been sleeping
I remembered how he looked tired, maybe this was the reason.
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
That had hurt me so much. We had been waiting for my 18th, when we could legally be together, and my birthday had passed without so much as a text to acknowledge it. Your 18th was supposed to be happy, but it had been my worst birthday ever,
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
This reminded me on the way to the Badica house, how the electricity between us had been so hard to ignore. I clung to those memories like lifelines; they were all that tied me to sanity now.
And realized I loved you in the fall
When Natalie had nearly killed me, and he admitted that he loved me. I heard Lissa and Mia's aawwws.
And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
Fear that he wouldn't be able to protect Lissa, that he wouldn't be able to give me everything I needed.
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye:]
When he had left me, it had been clear that he hadn't known how much he had meant to me, how much I had changed because of him, how much I needed him.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
Hearing this, I gave him a small smile, and he returned it.
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
Again the girls behind me were speculating about Guardian Belikov's secret love. Alberta's name came up, and I held back a laugh. They were standing right behind me, for crying out loud. What kind of Guardians would they be if they couldn't even follow his gaze to me?
The first time I ever saw you cry
I remember that. I had never cried over another guy, definitely not in front of them.
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
Lissa turned to me, grinning, shaking her head in disbelief. I did the same, but couldn't bring myself to allow more hope into me, if was only going to be stripped away.
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
The walls holding back hope broke, and light radiated through me. Maybe, just maybe, we would have another chance.
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
As if I could ever lock him out. Whatever he did, I would always welcome him back. There was no way I could not.
This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
This is what I had wishing for, dreaming of since he left. Him running back to me and telling me that he had changed his mind. For the first time in my life, I came first.
I go back to December all the time, all the time
The music stopped, and he walked off the stage, the opposite side to where I was waiting, handing the microphone to the guy waiting by the curtain.
A few seconds later I saw him making his way through the crowd, ignoring the whispers and people trying to get his attention on either side of him. As I pushed through the people to get to him, nobody gave me a second thought, as many people were doing the same thing, including the Dhampirs behind me. People realised something was going on when we were about 10 paces from each other, and we both stopped.
As if sensing something was going on, the few people still between us moved to the side. His eyes met mine, instantly turning my insides to mush and my legs to jelly. We both took one more step forward, and the whispers surrounding us increased in volume. I saw my mum and Abe fighting their way forward, but they would never get here in time to ruin this moment for me. Lissa left to intercept them, sending me a message through the bond. Go on.
Dimitri's hand moved at his side, like he wanted to reach out to me, but he restrained it. I wasn't sure if I should move forward or not. With one pained word, the decision was taken out of my hands.
"Roza..."
What's going to happen now, in front of the whole school? And Rose's parents?
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