"Seb," I sighed softly as his lips ghosted over my hip bone. This was pure ecstasy. It was better than any drug from anywhere in any quantity. I had his attention and that was enough to send me reeling in an emotional, psychological and physical high.
The sheer bubbling hatred I felt for the times he simply ignored my existence made these rare occurrences even more eagerly anticipated. I needed this. The release and relaxation that was brought to my inner mind by his touch alone. I craved the feel of his slightly callused hands and their strong grip.
"What do you need," he whispered into my ear, nibbling lightly at the lobe and causing a shiver to begin in my lower back and making me spasm. he held out a hand to steady me, pulling back a little to look at me from above.
"You," I replied automatically, thinking he would accept my offering and finally give me what I needed but instead he sat up, his legs straddling my hips. He shook his head in disappointment and climbed off me gracefully.
"Wrong," he said coldly, pausing to pull his boxers on before sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room.
"What," I asked incredulously, sitting up myself and finding my feet tangled in the bed sheets.
I was breathing heavily now and tried to calm myself. What did he want from me? It had been nearly a month since the last time he had had sex with me and I didn't understand what I had done wrong. Was he just teasing me to drive me wild.
I was wild enough without the teasing but he always seemed up for more.
"I said, 'what do you need'," he repeated, staring at me with an unreadable expression.
"I need you to fuck me," I tried but he didn't react.
"This isn't about you, Jim," he sighed. "That's where you go wrong. You think all of this is about you. It's not."
He was torturing my mind even at a point where he was torturing my body. He was good. He was vicious and lethal in equal measure. I could learn from his ferocity.
"I need to make you feel good," I said desperately, moving towards him on the bed and smiling at him. "I need to serve you."
"I knew you would get there eventually," he chuckled darkly finally joining me on the bed. He grabbed my waist roughly and pushed me further up towards the headboard. My heart was practically screaming in excitement and he watched darkly as I kissed across his chest. He didn't push me away but instead humored me for a moment.
"All fours," he said abruptly and I complied, practically whining for his touch. His hand trailed lightly along my inner thigh and I parted my legs further to encourage his touch.
"Seb," I whispered and he brought a hand up to my left shoulder, massaging the strain and the tension there. I could feel the heat of him behind me and I let it envelope me as a form of comfort. I wanted to simply exist as an extension of him, to be absorbed into his existence in this moment. He kissed lightly along my back, breathing softly and causing shivers to run through me. I hated his teasing.
"Seb," I hissed, "I need you, please."
As soon as I said it I knew what I had done and he was off me in a flash buttoning a shirt up.
"Where are you going," I panted and he gave an icy glance in my direction.
"You never learn Jim."
It was pathetic to admit but the minute he left I burst into tears.