A/N Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. To my lovely beta LadiJ, you are the best! This is semi cannon, but mainly all my head cannon. Please excuse any mistakes, and enjoy the ride. Songs to listen to for this chapter are 'Torn' by Latoya, and 'Breakeven' by The Script. Thanks to the lovely LadiJ for the suggestion of using the song 'Torn'
I own nothing that is Glee, thank God, cause I know if I did ya'll would hunt me down and beat the shit out of me! I also have no rights to any of the songs mentioned.
Monday, Auditorium at McKinnley High
Mercedes POV
Having spent the last day and a half thinking about her conversation with Sam, she was still confused. Not as much as before and some of the hurt had even eased. The questions she had now were for herself. She knew that everything Sam had told her was true, she knew Sam and if anything he was truthful. Except for when he had broken up with her, oh and the Brittney situation. But to be honest he hadn't lied to her about Brittney at all, you had to talk to a person to lie to them. Mercedes knew she still loved Sam, and she knew he loved her. Even with all the anger she had felt during their talk she still knew the love they shared was there. Only Sam could get her so angry, yet leave her wanting to kiss him at the same time. The one and only question she had to answer was if she was willing to give Sam another chance. Mercedes knew the only way to get her emotions in control was to sing through them. She sat down at the piano and began to sing.
A part of me wants to leave you alone
A part of me wants for you to come home
A part of me says I'm livin' a lie
And I'm better off without you
A part of me says to think it through
A part of me says I'm over you
A part of me wants to say goodbye
A part of me is asking why
A part of me wants to leave
But a part of me wants to be here with you
And every time I think that we're over and done
You do something that gets me back lovin' you
And you got me just torn
Torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
And you got me just torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
What hurts the most is when we started out
It was cool, it was everything that love's about
But something happened 'cause I'm feeling so burned out
Because I can't understand you now
(I just can't understand you now)
A part of me says it's all my fault
A part of me says he ain't what you want
A part of me says to get my bags
A part of me says I can't do that
A part of me wants to leave
But a part of me wants to be here with you
And every time I think that it's over and done
You make me fall back in love
You got me just torn
Torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
And you got me just torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
So many times I, I was ready to go
So many times I, had my foot out the door
So many times I, I thought to give him a chance
Thought he'd be a better man
Now I'm sitting here and I'm so confused
'Cause I keep fighting myself for you
I don't know how much more I can take
But I can't feel this wayYou got me so torn!
Torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
You got me just torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
You got me just torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
And you got me just torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
You got me just torn in between the two
'Cause I really wanna be with you
But something's telling me I should leave you alone
Leave you alone, leave you alone
And you got me just torn in between the two
Sam POV
Sam had come to school early to work out, he was feeling jitttery and tense ever since he had talked to Mercedes Saturday. She hadn't called or texted him and he was afraid to call or text her for fear of pushing her. Just thinking about the chance of having his Mercy back made his heart race. His grandfather always had a saying 'you don't miss your water, until your well runs dry', Sam always heard what he said but never truly felt it until Mercy was no longer first time when his family had to move, then when he came back and Shane was with her. Now through his own stupidty not only was his well dry he had blew the fucker up! Shaking his head Sam headed down the hall. Seeing Mercedes as she went into the auditorium Sam quicken his steps. As he got to the door, and opened it he heard her begain to sing. Leaning against the door Sam listened to her sing, Sam felt the sting of tears, hearing the words made his chest hurt. When she finished the song Sam quietly closed the door and walked away.
FLASHBACK
Sitting on his bed just staring at the wall Sam kept going over in his mind the conversation he and Mercedes had the day before. Hearing a knock at his door he called out come in. Seeing Blaine and Kurt walk in Sam raised a brow in question. "Sam, we came to see how your talk with Mercedes..." seeing Sam's face, Kurt shut up and looked at Blaine. "I don't really know guys, she was really angry, she even slapped me, twice." Kurt gasped and grabbed Blaine's arm. "She slapped you?" Blaine asked, "What the hell did you do?" Sam sighed, "I answered her questions." They both looked at Sam and asked, "What did you do?", "What did she ask?" at the same time. So he gave them a rundown of what she had asked and his answers. "So this clusterfuck that you two are in is because of your misguided attempt to "HELP" Mercedes?" Kurt asked in disbelief. "That lemon juice did more harm then we thought." Kurt muttered to himself before looking over at Sam. Shooting Kurt a glare, Sam just snorted, "Are you ever going to let that go?" Blaine laughed and told Kurt he wasn't helping. Kurt just shrugged. "Sam, I don't agree with how you tried to help my Diva, but it is something I can see you doing. What you forgot was Mercedes is not the type to fold just because someone tells her she can't do something. She has always given so much to others, even when she got nothing back. But loving you and having your love was the only thing she has ever wanted for herself. You took that away from her. Then you went and fed her insecurities by dating Britt. So consider a couple os slaps as getting off easy!" Blaine glared at Sam, What I want to know is, why didn't you tell me you and Brittney had broken up back at Thanksgiving? Plus what was that big texting break up shit about in the choir room?" Sam dropped his head and muttered, "It was Britt's idea. I just went along with it." Kurt pointed his finger at Sam, growling "And that is why you need to stay away from lemon juice! Listening to Britt, well that was just stupid as hell." Running his hand through his hair Sam just looked at them, "I know, ok, I know. Right now I just need to figure out how to get my Mercy back. I'm desperate." Kurt and Blaine exchanged looks. "Sam, you gave her answers, now you have to give her time to process it." Kurt said. Both stood and patted Sam's shoulder in sympathy and walked out the room.
NPOV
Tina listened as Mercedes sung her voice as beautiful as ever, but so filled with pain. Her heart ached for her friend, "Cedes, sweetie, do you want to talk?" she asked. Mercedes spun around on the seat in surprise. "T, what are you doing here so early?" she asked. "I came in to practice with Blaine for our audition. Then I heard you, so do you want to talk?" Mercedes looked at her for a moment and nodded. "I have a few questions I would like to ask you." Tina motioned for her to talk. "Why did you tell everyone I was going out on dates in LA when you knew it was gigs we were working or just group hangouts? Did you do it to hurt Sam?" Tina looked down she really didn't want to have this conversation but she knew there was no way out of it. "Yes, I did, but damn, he had hurt you and he was bouncing around with Brittney acting like he had lost his damn mind! I was so angry with him, hell with both of them! The first time you came back he didn't even speak to you, he acted like he didn't even know you! That's when I said those things after you left." Tina bit her lip nervously, looking Mercedes in the eye she knew she had to say this next part. "Cedes, I think I messed up though, I watched Sam whenever your name came up and he didn't react the way I expected him to, I watched him with Britt too. If he noticed I was looking he was all sweet with her, but otherwise he treated her the same as the rest of us. He didn't treat her like a GIRLFRIEND, the things he said, he made sure he was close to me when he said them because he knew I would tell you. I was sure of it by the second trip you made home, he stared at you and Cedes, the way he was looking at you, damn, it made me blush, and you know I have no shame. He never looked at Britt that way." Mercedes listen to Tina thinking of the things Sam had told her. "T, I talked to Sam Saturday, he answered all the questions I asked him, even the ones that hurt." She then proceeded to tell Tina about their conversation. At the end of it they both just sat there looking at each other. Tina reached for Mercedes hands, "You two are still in love aren't you?" she asked softly. Mercedes sighed and looked away, "Yes, we are, he wants me back." Looking at Tina "I just have to figure out can I take the chance of him hurting me again." "No, the question is can you keep exsisting the way you are now or take that leap of faith and start to live again. That's the question, Cedes. Yes the reason he broke up with you was not his brightest idea, but he really did do it thinking he was helping you. As for Britt, it was more of her hanging on him. I'm not defending him but now that I know more and can look back, so many things make sense." Tina said, leaning over and kissing her cheek, "Just think about it, do you want to exsist or live?" With a quick hug she left Mercedes with her thoughts.
CHOIR ROOM
NPOV
Everyone slowly entered the choir room, finally everyone was there. Mercedes, Kurt and Mike entered together and sat to one side of the room. Sam watched her closely as entered the room. She made eye contact with him and shot him a soft smile and wave. Sam couldn't help but to smile back, heart racing he thought she doesn't hate me. As Mr. Shue called the class to order Sam stood up, "Mr. Shue, I need to say something to the class." Looking at Sam couriously as he took a seat he gestured for him to take the floor. Kurt, Mercedes, Blaine, and Tina all looked at each other, wondering what was going on.
Sam rubbed his sweaty palms down his jeans and looked around the room. He walked over to get a guitar and got a stool to sit on. "I don't really know where to start so I guess I'll just jump in. I owe all of you an apology. Right now I'm pretty sure all of you know I'm in over my head and I have really fu-messed up." The room was completely silent, everyone was just waiting to hear what he had to say. Glancing at Mercedes he bit his lip and closed his eyes."I've done some really stupid things and said some even more really hurtful things. I won't repeat all the things I said, but Ryder, I'm sorry, what I said when you made your confession. It was sick and twisted, there is no excuse for it and I am truly sorry. Tina, the comments I made to you were out of line and uncalled for, I hope you can forgive me. Wade, Mercedes, this apology is to both of you. When Brittney called you Mercedes, Wade I didn't say anything I just acted like it didn't happen, I'm sorry. Mercedes, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I always said I would be there for you, as we both see that was one hell of a lie. I'm sorry Mercedes, God knows I am so sorry. To the rest of you, I should have been a better friend, hell I should have been a friend period. I was so busy throwing a pity party for myself that the real Sam became lost. But Sam-I-Am is back. Some of you know what was going on and why." At this he looked at Mercedes and he could see tears in her eyes. It broke his heart. "Please don't cry Mercy, this is a mess that I made. I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry" Turning back to the his classmates he continued, "With Artie's help I'm going to pass my SAT's with a respectable score. Thanks to you Mr. Shue and my other teachers for giving me work for extra credit I am pulling my grades up, so thank you. I will be able to graduate" At that everyone cheered and clapped. Sam could feel the heat in his face but he held his head up. "Thank you guys, and again I'm so sorry. I have a song I want to sing then I won't take up anymore time. If that's ok Mr. Shue?" "Of course Sam, go ahead, and welcome back." Mr. Shue said with a wide grin.
Remember me
Remember me
Remember me
Remember me
Where, where will we stand
When all the lights go out across these city streets?
Where were you when all of the embers fell?
I still remember them
Covered in ash
Covered in glass
Covered in all my friends
I still think of the bombs they built
If there's a place I could be
Then I'd be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me
And if we can't find where we belong
We'll have to make it on our own
Face all the pain and take it on
Because the only hope for me is you
Alone, how it should be
Many is after the disasters that we've seen
What have we learned?
Other than people burn in purifying flame
I'll say it's okayI know you can tell
Although you can see me smile
I still think of the guns they sell
If there's a place I could be
Then I'd be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me
And if we can't find where we belong
We'll have to make it on our own
Face all the pain and take it on
Because the only hope for me is you alone
The only hope for me
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
The only hope
If there's a place I could be
Then I'd be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me
And if we can't find where we belong
We'll have to make it on our own
Face all the pain and take it on
Because the only hope for me is you alone
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
(The only hope for me is you alone)
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
(The only hope for me is you alone)
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you
The only hope for me is you alone
Never taking his eyes off of Mercedes Sam prayed that she was getting the message he was trying so desperately to send to her. He could see her tears falling, but even with the tears she was smiling at him and for the first time in months Sam felt like he could breath maybe just maybe he had a chance to have her in his arms again. As the song ended the room erupted in applause. Thanking them, Sam took his seat praying that she had seen her Sam again.
Mr. Shue stood up and told everyone to go to the auditoriumbecause it was time for tryouts. Kurt looked down at Mercedes, "Diva, are you ok?" he asked softly. Tina and Blaine made their way over to them, eyes questioning. "I'm fine guys, better then fine, let's go hear what you guys have worked on." she said with a smile. Turning around she locked eyes with Sam they just looked at each other. "There's that damn eye-fucking again." Tina muttered under her breath. "What did you say Tina?" Mike asked. Blaine and Kurt who had heard her burst into laughter, shaking Sam and Mercedes out of the intense eyelock they were engaged in. "Oh nothing just we need to head out now so we can sing,...yeah, sing." she said giggling.
Once they all settled in. Mr. Shue, Kurt, Mike, and Mercedes looked over the names of the ones trying out. There weren't as many names as they thought. Looking over Mercedes asked Mr. Shue about it. He just shrugged and gave no answer. First up was Kitty singing Alicia Key's 'Fallin," they all looked at each other, no one wanted to speak first. Mercedes cleared her throat and thanked Kitty, and asked her about her song choice. Kitty gave some answer that no one even listened to. Thanking her again, Kitty smirked and strutted off the stage. Mike leaned over Mercedes to whisper to Kurt, "Now we know why she's named Kitty." Kurt just giggled while Mercedes side eyed Mike, "Be nice guys." she growled. Next up was Artie and the glee guys, they did Nelly's 'Just a Dream' with Artie as lead. They were damn good, when questioned about their choice Artie answered that if they wanted to win they couldn't be going in there sounding all white bread. Mr. Shue cleared his throat while the other three tried to smother their laughter. "Well that's one song, what do you guys think?" Mike asked seeing that Kurt and Mercedes agreed, Mr. Shue gave Mike a thumbs up.
A couple more people tried out they were good but they still wanted to hear more. Tina and Blaine came out and sung 'Just Give Me A Reason' by Pink and Nate Rues. "Second song." Mercdes said, no one disagreed. Unique strutted out and belted 'Next To Me' by Emeli Sande, no one even bothered to question if it was a pick. They just needed one Sam came out with his guitar, Ryder and Joe followed him with theirs. They all pulled up stools and began to play, Sam was looking down then he looked up as he began to sing. 'Breakeven' by The Script, when Mercedes gasped Kurt looked over at her in concern. Grabbing her hand he raised a brow in question, Mercedes just shook her head, her eyes never leaving Sam on the stage. When they finished, they just stood up and said thank you and walked off the stage. Mr. Shue clapped his hands saying "I think we have all our songs, the guys were great, don't you agree?" They all agreed with him, thanking them for their help he left to go tell the ones who were lucky enough to be chosen the good news.
"Ok what was that gasp? And why were your hands shaking while Sam was singing." Mike asked. Mercedes tried to play it off but neither Mike nor Kurt were buying it. Seeing that they weren't going to leave it alone, she sat back down. In a quiet voice she explained, "Sam used to sing that song a lot last year. It was one of my favorites to hear him sing. I haven't listened to it since we broke up" Neither man said anything just rubbed her back and suggested they head back into the choir room.
When they got to the room you could hear the whoops of joy and the not so joyful congratulations from the ones who didn't make it. The trio gave their congratualtions and watched as everyone packed up to leave. Mercedes approached Sam, "Congratulattons Sam, you sounded wonderful, you deserve to have a front spot." Looking at her all he could think was I love this woman and she is so beautiful, Realiazing she had spoken Sam scrambled to answer her. "Thank you Merc-Mercedes. Did you like the other song too?" Mercedes smirked as she said, "Enough to want you to call me tonite so we can talk some more." Sam opened his mouth to say something but she placed a finger against his lips. "After you have your study session with Artie and do your homework, call me, I'll be up." With that she turned and walked out the room. Sam just stood there barely breathing, with his hand to his mouth. Kurt, Blaine, and Tina walked over. "Sam...Sam, hello anyone in there?" Tina asked as she waved her hand in front of his face. Hearing their laughter Sam snapped out of it and blushed. "Hmmmm, progress I see, remember what I said, DON'T. FUCK. THIS. UP!" Kurt said. "Don't worry I won't, I promise?" Sam said.
Over the next three weeks, Sam and Mercedes talked every night. Sometimes they met for coffee, often Mercedes helped him with his homework at her house. They even resumed their movie nights. A lot of things were talked about, tempers flared, tears were shed by both. As the time for Mecedes to leave drew closer they realized that they were more or less back to where they both were wanting to be together again. With only four days before she had to leave Sam knew he had to make his move. He wanted her to be his girlfriend again and he wanted to take her to the prom next month. They had been to the prom together for the last two years. If he couldn't take her there was no reason to go.
Turning to Mercedes as they finshed the last of his homework he cleared his throat. "Mercedes, I need to talk to you. I have some questions I want to ask you." Turning Mercedes smiled, "Sure Sam, what do you want to know?"
A/N So what do you think of Sam getting ready to make his move. Do you think Mercedes will agree to take him back? What about Sam's apology to his friends? What about Tina having Sam think Mercedes was dating? Thank you for all the support and review love! Mega hugs to all of you!
The song for Nationals will be as follows-
Next To Me by Emeli sSande - Unique singing lead, backed by the Glee girls
Just Give Me A Reason by Pink featuring Nate Rues - Tina and Blaine
Just A Dream by Nelly - Artie, singing lead, backed by the Glee boys
Breakeven by The Script - Sam playing his guitar, singing lead, with Ryder and Joe backing him on guitar and vocals
BTW Pleaase Review