Memories of the Forgotten One
Chapter Three
Noble
This chapter is dedicated toAnimedreamer240, SharinganRasengan, andTakumi4ever . Sorry it took me so long to update, I had midterms. I hope I haven't lost my writing abilities in the few weeks I've been away from my computer (Can that happen? Oh, that would really suck). Oh, and the chapters are named after the English translations of Japanese names I used. This one is named for Kimiko. And I would just like to say that unlike Kimiko I do not consider swearing to be a sign of being weak. There will probably be some mild language in future chapters.
Kimiko gazed at the sleeping child a few feet away. Kazuki was sleeping in a wooden crib while Kimiko sat on a matching wooden stool. Osamu had made these in preparation for the baby. At least, he had tried to make them. His woodworking skills were hopeless, and in the end they had relied on the assistance of the people at a furniture store to put them together. But it was the thought that counted, and Osamu was a very thoughtful person, Kimiko thought proudly.
Kazuki was sleeping peacefully. He looked like any other child his age, three days, so tiny it was hard to believe that he would grow up to be taller than her in all likelihood. Only one thing served to distinguish him from a normal child: a small tuft of bright orange hair. It stood out fiercely against his skin, pale from never being out in sunlight yet.
Actually, he might never get to go out in sunlight. Daiki and the previous head of the family had been extremely harsh on the previous cat. He had been locked in a small room and never let out, not even to see his daughter. He had practically lived in his own private world. Kimiko knew that Osamu and everyone said it was the right thing to do, that he was a danger to others and himself, but Kimiko had always found that hard to accept. She once said so as a child, which earned her a harsh scolding and warning from her parents. They had told her not to say such things ever again, or even to think them. She had not realized until years later that they had been trying to protect her from the head of the family who would be outraged if he heard someone say such things, even a young child. And the head of the family had many ears. The Sohma family was filled with gossips, and the head of the family had people in such a state of obedience and fear that they would tell him anything that they thought might be of concern to him, not caring who they hurt in the process.
So Kimiko had never thought about such things again. If those thoughts managed to push their way to the surface of her thoughts, Kimiko would banish them without a second thought. This strategy had worked extremely well, and her thoughts had been fairly safe and rational since then.
Until now. Now that her own son was the one who had to bear this curse, dangerous, radical thoughts had begun to resurface. Maternal instinct and rationality collided and contradicted so much within Kimiko's mind that it was hard to keep her thoughts in order. She wanted to just raise her son without thinking about such things, but she couldn't without addressing these heavy issues. But to address these issues was forbidden. On top of it all, Kimiko found herself wondering if what everyone said about the cat really was true.
Horrible stories. About murder and violence, evil and destruction. Setting fires and taking lives. The kind of stories that kids tell to scare their friends. When it seems like a distant issue, these things are easily discarded as myth. But when the alleged murderer is only a few feet away, these stories begin to seem significant. And the worst thing was, they say that all the zodiac members have the same soul as the one of the same type that came previously. Could this child really be capable of such malevolence in the future?
Kimiko knew this was a foolish way to think. If she believed the stories she was betraying her son, and if she didn't she was betraying her family. At least that way she would be able to please someone, to put her faith in something. But such wasn't the case. Kimiko kind of believed it, which meant that she was betraying everyone.
And Kimiko hated this most of all. She could kind of believe it. She couldn't blame it on prejudice, as she had never believed it in the past and eventually had never thought any more about it. She couldn't be a good Sohma and accept it as the absolute truth, or an extremely open-minded rebel and dismiss it as pure lies.
Kazuki stirred restlessly, as though he was about to awaken. Kimiko froze for a moment in trepidation. Damn it, where was Osamu?
Kimiko rarely let herself swear, even in her thoughts. It seemed like a sign of weakness, of giving in to yourself. This time however, Kimiko let it go with hardly a second thought. If the baby woke up she wouldn't be able to hold and comfort it, and it was Osamu's own fault if she turned into a foul-mouthed person.
Suddenly, Kimiko heard the door open behind her. She rapidly swung around to see who it was. "I'm back," said Osamu, stepping into the house. He looked tired; Kimiko wondered why he had taken so long. He closed the door loudly behind him.
" You'll wake him! And what took you so long, he almost woke up!" hissed Kimiko.
Osamu looked rather taken aback. Kimiko could swear she saw him take a step backwards as though afraid of her. He obviously had not been expecting this form of greeting. 'I just… I got… the beads," said Osamu, as though this explained everything. Kimiko did not feel like it did.
"He doesn't need those until he's seven days old! He's only four days now. You're needed here!" Kimiko was still whispering, but her tone of voice was so harsh in conveyed her anger to Osamu more that yelling ever could. Osamu felt like a child and had to fight the urge not to run off and go hide, which seemed like a very tempting idea at the moment.
Enough. I'm an adult. She's my wife, I'm not going to desert her when things get rough, Osamu reassured himself. He knew he had done what Daiki had ordered him to; he had done the right thing he had thought. But Kimiko was angry with him, and Osamu couldn't help feeling like he had done something completely unjustified. Everything had gotten so confusing recently. Osamu found himself longing for his old life, when he had felt so optimistic, when he had felt like he understood the world around him. He planned out his next words carefully. "I did what I thought was best," he said. He hated the way it came out; Kimiko could probably tell that he now wasn't so sure if he had done what was best. It was probably so obvious in the way he said those words.
Kimiko seemed to read something completely different into his words, however. "Quit being so condescending." She said it not even in a whisper, but not loudly either. Her words were full of danger and rage, but her tone was almost flat, as though she no longer cared about what Osamu said. As though it made no difference whether or not he tried to defend himself. Kimiko walked past Osamu and out of the house.
Osamu stood in place, not sure what to do. He had to stop himself from telling Kimiko to put on a jacket, it was cold outside. She would probably see that as condescending as well. Osamu had no clue what he could say or do to make this better. He didn't feel like he was sure of anything right now.
A loud sound brought Osamu out of his thoughts. Kazuki had begun to cry. Osamu went as fast as he could to tend to him, almost tripping over his own feet. Clumsily he reached into the crib and picked up his son. He was so small; it felt so strange to hold him. Of course, Osamu had held him before, as Kimiko obviously couldn't. Each time it felt so odd though, to think that something so small could be considered a monster.
Monster or not, this was his son. Osamu didn't really have the time to think about philosophy right now, as the loud noises coming from the small child in his arms were making it hard to think. Osamu offered Kazuki milk from a bottle on the kitchen counter. The boy pushed it away and continued crying. He didn't need a change either. Osamu couldn't figure out why he would not stop crying.
Meanwhile, outside, Kimiko stood facing away from the house and everyone in it. She wasn't going to walk away, and Osamu probably knew that. She couldn't believe she had said those things. Sure, she could come up with a million ways to justify every word that she had said. Or at least she had been able to before she had said them. Now that the damage was done, Kimiko wasn't sure what to do. She didn't regret her words, not at all. But she had scared herself when she had said them. She never knew that she could be so aggressive. Thinking over her words for the umpteenth time, Kimiko was surprised at how cruel they sounded. She knew that Osamu would forgive her, that wasn't what she was worried about. She just couldn't believe she had said that to Osamu, she who had always been so calm before now. She felt like she was losing herself in the recent events.
As the wind rustled through the leaves of the many trees around the Sohma property, a completely unwelcome thought drifted through Kimiko's mind, seeming overwhelmingly loud in the near silence. Kazuki is tearing us apart. It is the curse.
No, Kazuki wasn't tearing them apart. This probably happens to all new parents. They were just stressed out and all. And the curse had nothing to do with anything. Kazuki was their son; the curse was just a small detail. There was no reason for them to start acting differently just because of an old myth. Kazuki could turn into a cat. That wasn't so bad. They could get past it, could accept it. There was no reason to suddenly start being superstitious.
Prejudice, Kimiko corrected herself. What most people would regard as a matter of superstition was completely factual to the Sohmas, well, at least those on the Inside. Outsiders would probably discard many Sohma facts of life as myth. People turning into animals. Daiki the Jade Emperor. Sometimes it was difficult for Kimiko herself to believe it all, it sounded so ridiculous.
But she had to believe it. She didn't really have a choice on that matter. She also had to accept it, and learn to cope. A cold wind swept past her, and Kimiko shivered. She resolved to go back into the house. She and Osamu would discuss what they were going to do with the rest of their lives, they would plan everything out. They would try to understand what was going to happen to them. More importantly, they were going to discuss what was happening to them right now.
Kimiko walked back to the house. It seemed she had been walking, completely unintentionally, as she was thinking. She walked for at least half a mile to get back to the house. Thankfully, she had traveled in a relatively straight line, so it was not difficult to find her way.
She entered quietly, so as not to wake Kazuki. As she gently closed the door behind her, she scanned the room for Osamu. He was sitting on the stool holding Kazuki, who was fast asleep. Osamu raised a hand in greeting as Kimiko entered the room. Kimiko sat down next to Osamu and Kazuki, waiting.
And this time, she did not plan what to say next.