Chapter 3 – Discovery
Back at the Alvarado hacienda, Marta was sick with worry. When Tessa walked in, pale, bloody, and sans corset, Marta immediately whisked her off to her room. Tessa gave her an abridged version of the night's events while Marta gingerly helped her out of her ruined clothes.
"You need to rest, Tessa. I'll make tea."
Tessa didn't wake again until evening, too sore to leave her bed. Marta brought her dinner and made excuses to Don Alejandro, who had come for a visit. After Tessa ate, Marta gave her more of her special tea to ensure she'd sleep until morning.
The next morning Tessa awoke feeling a bit better. Marta balked when she insisted on going to town for her shift with Doctor Helm.
"I can tell him you aren't feeling well," Marta protested.
"You worry too much, Marta. I'll be okay on my feet for a few hours."
"I worry?" Marta scoffed. "You were shot!"
"Then I should go to the doctor," Tessa countered glibly.
By afternoon, Tessa was still moving slower than usual. She just hoped the doctor wouldn't notice. She knocked and pushed the door open, finding two patients waiting in the front. She continued through to the back room she'd sat in the night before where she found the doctor with another patient.
"Good afternoon, señorita Alvarado," the doctor said without looking up from his notes. "I shall entrust the gentlemen in the front room to your expert care."
Tessa wondered at Helm's apparent distraction bordering on dismissal. After their shared moment at the fiesta, she expected he would be more attentive. Maybe he's just trying to remain professional in his office, she thought. Following his example, she shook off her unease and set to work.
Tessa's first patient was señor Rodriguez, returning so she could ensure his cuts were healing well. She examined the injury and applied new bandages before sending him on his way. The second man was a ranchero who'd cut himself on a sharp rock, leaving a long gash in his leg. It wasn't deep and had already stopped bleeding, but it would take awhile for Tessa to properly clean and bandage.
"I'm afraid this is going to sting," she warned before applying the antiseptic. The man yelped, involuntarily lashing out and knocking Tessa backwards into the cabinet. Pain blossomed when her injured back impacted with the hard surface, and she gasped loudly.
The injured ranchero was mortified. "I'm very sorry, señorita. Please forgive me."
"Tessa?" Doctor Helm called, striding into the room. "What happened?"
"Nothing," Tessa replied, trying her hardest not to grimace in pain. "It was an accident." She turned around to pick up the roll of bandages that had fallen to the floor when Helm grabbed her arm.
"You're bleeding," he exclaimed. "Come with me."
Tessa tried to pull away as hard as she could without straining her injured back. "It's nothing. Just a scratch. I must have hit the corner of the cabinet."
"As the only doctor here, I'll be the judge of that."
"Let me finish up here, and then you can check," Tessa bargained for time, figuring she could escape while the doctor was busy.
"You're bleeding; he isn't." He tightened his grip so she couldn't get away. She followed him into the back room, where he sat her on the exam table and closed the door. Tessa could tell he was quietly furious.
"Am I going to find a bullet wound in your back?"
Tessa worked hard not to react. "Bullet? What are you talking about? I bumped into the cabinet."
"Then you won't mind letting me take a look." When Tessa didn't move, he continued. "I'm no fool, Tessa. How long did you plan to keep this up? To let me feel guilty? Is this a game to you?"
Shamed by his words, she changed the subject. "How did you figure it out?"
"I wasn't sure until today, but when I think back on the last few days, even the last month, I can't believe I didn't see it earlier. The way you rushed to help señora Hidalgo at the fiesta. How the Queen knew exactly what happened. After Montoya left, you started to change. You became more outspoken, more concerned with the real world, more like the Queen."
"Robert, I wanted to tell you. I was going to at the party. I thought the Queen could retire, and I could go back to being just one person."
"And which one is the real you?" Helm spat.
"The woman who has worked by your side for the past month!" Remembering her patient in the other room, Tessa lowered her voice. "The one who has saved your life on more than one occasion."
"And the one who killed many of Montoya's men." Helm's retort was full of disapproval. The Queen's use of violence was a sore subject with him. "And how the hell did Doña Maria Teresa end up a vigilante?"
"I had to avenge my father's murder. And along the way, I was able to help those being crushed by Montoya's corrupt regime." She looked up at him and continued softly, "And protect those I care for."
Helm snorted with derision. "You lied to me for nearly two years."
"To protect you-"
"To protect yourself. Montoya knew I was on your side. I had no mask to hide behind." Helm placed his hands on either side of her on the table, leaning in uncomfortably close to Tessa. "I would have died for you."
Tessa closed her eyes, willing the tears away before they spilled over. Her heart was breaking, and she saw any future with Robert Helm slipping away. She placed a hand on his cheek and whispered "I love you" before deftly jumping off the table and ducking under his arm to escape out the back door.
Helm didn't move for a second, his mind replaying what Tessa had just said. Then he came to his senses and rushed to the door, shouting Tessa's name. He scanned the dusty alley, but she had vanished.
The doctor silently bandaged his patient's leg. The ranchero was equally silent, and Helm assumed he'd heard at least part of his argument with Tessa. Mentally he replayed the scene and contemplated what made him so angry. Was it that she had lied to him, that she hadn't trusted him with her secret? Or was he angry over the guilt he felt when he thought he was being unfaithful to the two women he cared for?
That last thought had a ring of truth to it. He had hardly slept since the Queen's visit the morning before. From the moment she left, he had been wracked with guilt, unable to escape the decision he had to make. He would not court Tessa while he maintained a flirtatious relationship with the Queen. He now knew the agonizing was all for naught.
When viewed from the right angle, this was actually the best possible solution to his dilemma. He loved one woman, and she loved him in return. But you scared her away with your damned temper, he berated himself. So what are you going to do to get her back?
Helm must have stood deep in thought for some time because the ranchero had left the doctor's office. Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he grabbed his hat and practically ran for the stables. He guided his horse onto the road that lead to the Alvarado hacienda and urged the animal on faster.
He pounded on the door of the hacienda, which was opened a few moments later by Marta. "Where's Tessa?" he panted.
"She's not with you?" Marta sounded concerned.
Tessa was far faster on a horse than he could ever be, even if she was injured. If home wasn't her destination, then where did she go?
"Marta, I know." By his tone, the gypsy woman understood exactly what he meant. "Where would she have gone?"
"Maybe the beach or her parents' graves. I don't know." Marta wrung her hands in distress. "I told her to stay home today. She's still too weak."
Helm laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I will find her." He took the reins back from the helpful groom and took off toward the ocean cliffs.
Tessa sat on the sand with her knees tucked under her chin, her back resting against the cliff wall. She welcomed the pain in her back as penance. Her skirt and petticoats were going to be full of sand, but she didn't care.
How had it all gone so wrong so quickly? Marta was right-she should have told him sooner. Why hadn't she? She trusted him with her life and in fact would be long-dead without his help. He'd broken his own ethical code by killing El Serpiente to save her. He'd held a gun to Grisham's head for her. She thought until her head ached but could not come up with a reason for her silence.
He has every right to be angry, she thought. Sure, she'd also saved him several times, but he wouldn't have been in most of those situations if it weren't for her. He'd even alluded to his feelings for her, however vaguely, on more than one occasion. Maybe she didn't deserve his love. She stared out at the dark ocean, white-crested waves sweeping the shoreline, hoping for inspiration to strike.
Robert Helm rode along the cliffs, searching for any sign of Tessa or her horse. The sun was getting low on the horizon, and he figured he had about another hour of daylight left. With no sign of her near the ocean, he decided to head east to the canyons. He chose a path that would take him near the Hidalgo hacienda, on the off chance Tessa had sought Vera's company. The two seemed thick as thieves, but he wasn't sure if that was really true or just another facet of the Maria Teresa persona.
When the sun looked as if it were going to be swallowed by the Pacific Ocean, Tessa decided it was time to stop hiding and head home. She had heard hoofbeats on the cliff above earlier, but she knew she would only be seen if someone peered straight down the face of the precipice. It was quiet now as she cautiously mounted her horse and rode up the winding trail to the top of the cliff. Time to face Marta, she thought. Maybe sympathy and hot food would make her feel better.
When Tessa returned to her hacienda, she found Marta pacing a hole in the kitchen floor. Upon hearing her approach, Marta rushed to Tessa to gather her in an embrace. In her exuberant relief, Marta forgot about Tessa's injured back until she heard a sharp intake of breath.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Are you hungry?"
"Yes...to both," Tessa replied. "I'm still a little sore but healing."
"Where were you? Did the doctor find you?" Marta continued the rapid fire questions as she put a kettle to heat on the stove.
"I was at the beach, Marta. Completely safe. And I don't think Doctor Helm going to be looking for me any time soon." Tessa sighed and sat gingerly in a chair, sitting on the edge to protect her back. Leaning against the cliff had been a bad idea.
"But he was looking for you. He came by hours ago. I know you told him, but it did not go well?" Marta placed a plate of bread on the table. Tessa took a piece and picked at it before answering.
"I didn't tell him. He figured it out." She set down the piece of bread and clasped her hands in her lap. "He was so angry, Marta. I don't think he'll ever forgive me."
Marta sat down beside her and placed a gentle hand on Tessa's shoulder. "I think you underestimate him. It was not an angry man who came to look for you. I'm sure learning the Queen of Swords and Maria Teresa Alvarado are the same person was quite a shock to him. Have faith and patience, mija." Marta pushed the plate of bread closer to Tessa. "And food and rest. I don't want the doctor to set his wrath on me!"
The next morning, Tessa and Marta went into town at Marta's insistence. Marta thought if she could just get the two of them together, they'd come to their senses. The easiest way to accomplish that was drop Tessa at the doctor's door and pray.
They came across señor and señora Hidalgo eating brunch on the terrace of the cantina. Vera spied them and waved them over. "Good morning!" Vera greeted, cheerily as ever. "How are you, Tessa? The doctor stopped by our hacienda yesterday looking for you. He said you weren't feeling well, and he wanted to make sure you were okay. He seemed very concerned." Vera watched Tessa intently, hoping for juicy gossip.
Tessa bristled slightly at the lie...well, maybe it wasn't such a lie. The logical part of her also said it was a believable cover story, so she played along. She certainly wasn't in the mood to tell Vera about her fight with the doctor. "It's true I was feeling a little faint yesterday, but I am much better today, thank you."
Marta gave her a sour look. "Señor, señora, have you seen Doctor Helm today? I have brought some of my special salve for him." She lifted her basket that Tessa knew to be empty.
"No, my dear ladies, we have not seen him today," Don Gaspar replied. "You are also not the first to ask after him today. Perhaps he was called away this morning."
Or maybe he did not make it home last night, Marta thought darkly. After they made their goodbyes and moved out of the Hidalgos' sight, Marta pulled Tessa aside.
"I think we should check the doctor's office," Marta whispered.
"Why? Don Gaspar said he isn't there."
"One fight and you no longer care for him?"
Tessa glowered in response. "Doctor Helm is perfectly capable of taking care of himself," she replied contritely. At Marta's raised eyebrow, she continued, "He's probably out on a house call."
Marta gave her a gentle shove in the direction of the doctor's office. "All right, all right," Tessa conceded. "We'll check."
They went to the back of the office, and with Marta acting as lookout, Tessa peered in the window. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Let's go." But Marta turned her right back around.
"We should look inside."
"I don't think I can make it through the window in these petticoats, Marta." She rested her hand on the doorknob and was surprised when it turned under her hand. "Well that's odd," Tessa was finally starting to sound concerned. "Ever since the laudanum incident with Grisham, he always locks the back door when he's not in. Maybe he forgot."
Marta, unconvinced, swung the rear door open. "You look, I'll keep watch."
Tessa walked inside and saw nothing out of the ordinary in the back room. Everything was the same as it was during their fight the day before. The front room was a different story. A few supplies were strewn about, including the ones that had fallen to the floor when the injured ranchero had accidentally knocked Tessa into the cabinet yesterday. Doctor Helm was hardly the best housekeeper, but his medical supplies were always kept tidy. A knot formed in Tessa's stomach as she realized Marta was right. Robert had gone looking for her yesterday but hadn't come back. So where was he?