Here we go, folks! Happy Sunday! Let me know what you think. I never imagined this would garner more than 20 reviews, let alone 100. Keep it comin'!
When Maura awoke next, the soft sunlight slanting through her window indicated that it was well into the afternoon. Her head hurt and she was having trouble focusing. Her mouth was dry and her throat felt slightly inflamed. She made as if to sit up, but her body was achy and uncooperative. Maura wondered briefly if this was what it felt like to grow old. Based on her symptoms, the doctor deduced that she was running a fever, and had slept the majority of the day away.
While she laid there, the blonde remembered pieces of a dream, a nightmare really. This one had been different from her usual ones in that it did not take place in the warehouse. No one had been shot or killed, but the emotional drain had been just as strong, if not stronger. Jane had informed Maura that she was leaving Boston, moving away, and that it was all the ME's fault. Maura had begged in the dream, pleaded with Jane not to leave. The doctor felt tears prick at her eyelids simply at the strength of emotion the memory provided.
But then, she faintly recalled being awoken from the nightmare, held and comforted. She remembered apologizing over and over again, not sure if she was still dreaming, and the other voice had responded, apologized as well, reassured her. The voice had been deep and rough and soothing, and the arms holding her had made Maura feel so safe, almost as if it had been...
There was light knock on the door, and as Maura shifted to view the opening, Jane strolled in. What was she doing here? Had it actually been the detective's arms wrapped firmly around Maura earlier, keeping her safe and grounded? No, it couldn't have been. Could it?
"Good. You're awake," Jane's relieved voice pulled her out of her musings. "I thought you were gonna sleep all day. I was going to wake you, but Ma said to let you sleep. She said it was the body's way of healing itself," Jane was rambling awkwardly, but Maura was still so confused.
Here eyes widened as Jane set down the tray she was holding. Water, soup, several pills which appeared to be Vitamin C tablets, and a glass of ginger ale. What was going on? Had Maura lost her mind? Was this merely another dream? Her imagination playing tricks on her by playing out what she most desperately wanted to be true?
"How are you feeling?" Jane asked, seemingly not to have noticed Maura's drifting.
"I - I - I'm alright," Maura's mouth finally managed to work. "I believe I may be running a temperature above the normal 98.6 degrees."
Jane nodded and proceeded to pick a thermometer up off of the tray. "Yeah, I found this in the bathroom." She looked somewhat sheepish as though worried Maura might reprimand her for snooping. When the doctor didn't answer, Jane stepped forward, holding it out as one would a peace offering, hand out, palm up.
Maura reached out shakily, and took it. Her fingers grazed Jane's hand, and she noticed a shiver work its way up the detective's outstretched arm. It was the first time they'd touched, and both been completely aware of the situation, in months. She placed the thermometer under her tongue and the two waited in charged silence until it beeped. Jane stretched forward and Maura couldn't help the automatic flinch which caused her to pull away slightly. Jane's hand froze and then moved forward and removed the instrument.
She avoided Maura's apologetic gaze, "101.7."
Maura hadn't meant to pull away and she immediately felt bad after seeing Jane's hurt look. She wasn't afraid of the detective, not in the slightest. She was well aware that Jane would never hurt her. But her mind seemed to be transferring emotional anxiety and uncertainty into a physical realm of reaction. She didn't mean to do it.
"That's not too bad," she murmured.
Jane handed her the water and the tablets, taking care not to allow their skin to touch. "Here," she said brusquely, attempting to mask the hurt she'd felt when Maura flinched away. "Vitamin C. Ma said it will help."
"Yes, the ascorbic acid will help to strengthen my immune system and help fight off whatever virus strain it seems I have contracted."
It was a testament to how strange the situation was that Jane didn't even roll her eyes at Maura's more scientific explanation. But the doctor could have sworn she'd seen a twitch in Jane's cheek muscles, hinting at a smile.
"Thank you," Maura sighed gratefully, handing over the now empty glass and leaning back into the pillows.
"Are you hungry?" Jane asked, looking pointedly at the soup. "I heated it up. Figured I couldn't burn something in the microwave."
Maura smiled. She was well aware that her body should be craving some sort of sustenance, but the thought of putting anything in her stomach caused her to become instantly nauseous. "No, thank you," she declined politely.
Jane sighed, "Ma told me that I have to get you to eat."
The thought of Jane willingly calling her mother for advice made Maura's tear ducts act up again. She seemingly had no control over her emotional responses today. Maura was well aware that Detective Rizzoli abhorred taking advice from her overprotective and over-involved mother. And that she had taken such action for Maura's well-being was such an act of benevolence that Maura was awestruck.
When Maura didn't respond, Jane shrugged. "I'm not going to force you. Maybe later." She made as if to leave, but Maura reached out and grabbed her wrist, freezing Jane on the spot.
"Why are you here?" she asked softly.
Jane stared at where Maura had her in her grasp, "Pike said you called in sick."
Maura nodded, "But you didn't have to come."
Jane looked slightly offended as she stared down into Maura's eyes. "I'm your friend, Maura. That's what friends do. We look out for each other. But if you don't want me here, I can go," she pulled out of Maura's weak hold. The tension in the room had mounted exponentially in just a few short seconds.
"No!" Maura lowered her voice, "Please. I just, I didn't, I wasn't aware that you cared."
"I'll always care," Jane spoke simply, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. But Maura knew it was taking everything the brunette possessed to remain so nonchalant. Jane hated opening up, expressing emotion and care.
Maura did the only thing left for her to do, the thing she'd been attempting for the past several weeks. "I'm sorry." Jane's brown eyes stared into her own. "I'm sorry," she reiterated a bit louder, unsure whether the detective had heard her. Jane still didn't react. "I - I don't know exactly what took place, but I am aware that you were here earlier. That you helped. And I'm sorry that you had to do that, take care of me in that manner."
Jane deflated. "Maur-"
But Maura interrupted. This wasn't coming out properly and she needed Jane to fully understand her. The eloquence and ease with which she easily spoke was lost to the doctor. "And I'm sorry for...well, for everything else. Jane, I'm so, so sorry."
"Maura, I -"
"And I know it isn't enough, and I know you may not ever forgive me, but I'm just - I'm sorry," she was crying now, tears running freely down her cheeks. But she didn't attempt to wipe them away. She simply sat, waiting for, for what, she didn't know.
Jane paused, as though to make sure Maura wasn't going to interrupt again. She took a deep, fortifying breath, "I'm sorry, too," she admitted.
Maura let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. "I'm sorry," she reaffirmed.
Jane smiled slightly at her. "I know. Me, too."
Maura wiped at her cheeks. "We need t-to talk about this."
The brunette nodded, "Okay. But not right now."
Maura glanced at her, trying to read her friend. They both had a habit of avoiding difficult conversations, the last three months were a testament to that.
Jane was quick to add, "We will talk. I promise. I know an apology doesn't just set everything to rights. But not now. You're not feeling well and you're exhausted. You need to sleep."
Satisfied that Jane was telling the truth about talking later, she realized the detective had also been correct with her diagnosis. The tension filled atmosphere and conversation had been extremely draining on her body's already depleted resources. She already felt as if the good effects of her sixteen hours of sleep were wearing off. Her headache was becoming more prominent the longer she sat up.
One round of apologies would have to be enough for now. Hopefully when she woke again, they wouldn't have lost any progress that may have just been made. Maura couldn't control that at the moment, however. It took all she had to nod in affirmation at Jane and then sink down into the mattress. Jane had reorganized the tray and was heading for the door. Maura could feel sleep dragging her down.
"Jane," she managed. The brunette turned in the doorway. "Don't leave?"
Whether it was the innocence of the question, making Maura sound almost childlike, or the vulnerability in the sleepy woman's voice, Jane felt her heart jump. "I'll be right here," she promised.
"Thank you," Maura sighed, allowing her body to fully relax and unconsciousness to claim her, content that things would get better, maybe not immediately, but they would. Jane was here, watching over her, and she was safe.