A/N: So... here it is, as promised-the second part of this week's chapter (Listen to me, saying that as if I update weekly :P ). I was planning to wait to post it until a couple of my regular reviewers had come through. But that's not fair to everyone else, so you get it today.
I have to say that I have obviously read this a gazillion times now, and I still get butterflies when I read it. So yeah... pretty happy with it. And so ends the-what?-four chapters or something that all happen on the same day.
Um... review, review. Next time I talk to you all I'll be a homeowner. Exciting, huh? Right now all I can see is the never ending packing, but I'll get excited on moving day, I guess.
Bella was quiet on the journey to her house. About a mile from our destination, she was filled with determination.
"Pull over," she said quietly.
I looked at her in confusion. "Huh?"
"Pull over."
"Are you okay?" I asked as I eased the car onto the grass verge.
"Uh huh." She turned toward me but looked down at the hand that wasn't in a sling. I turned my body to mirror hers and reveled at how close our knees were.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?"
She looked up at me, frowning, and bit down slightly on the side of her bottom lip. Her heart rate increased, and nerves spiked through her. "I don't know how to say this. Or if I even should." Her voice was soft and uncertain, a contrast to how confident she had been feeling when she first told me to pull over.
"You can tell me anything."
She didn't reply, but let her eyes wander, moving between my legs and her own. She wouldn't meet my gaze.
"Please, Bella? If something is wrong, I want to be able to help fix it."
"I don't think you can fix this." She sighed.
"Well, at least let me in so we can work it out. Together."
I sent her a small amount of confidence to help loosen her tongue, and she closed her eyes briefly, calming herself. "I feel like I'm going crazy," she said in a whisper.
"I've seen crazy in my time, sweetheart, and you are definitely not in their ranks." The girl before me was perfect. There was nothing wrong with her brain at all.
She sighed heavily. "Not literally… I hope."
I rested my fingertips on her jean-covered knees, feeling the rightness that came with our touching and hoping that the contact would help settle her. "Explain it to me."
"It's like… since I moved to Forks, weird things are happening. Both with me, and around me…" She trailed off.
I tensed slightly and hoped she didn't notice. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. It would also explain why she was so thoughtful on the way to the hospital.
"What kind of things?"
"It's a bunch of weird little things…" She hesitated for a moment before looking straight into my eyes. "But I'm starting to see that they all seem to be connected to you."
She was so much more observant than most humans. I shouldn't have been surprised that she would have analyzed our interactions.
"Tell me," I urged in a voice not much more than a whisper. I absentmindedly stroked her knee, and she shivered.
"The first few days I was here, everything was fine." Her eyes wandered as she tried to focus on the data she had accumulated in her brain. "Then I met you." Her heart thudded three times in quick succession as she said that. "Things changed. I couldn't concentrate like I used to. I'd find myself moving toward you without realizing it and would have to stop myself. I always seemed to know instinctively where you were in a room, without being able to see you. Even if you weren't in the room, I would be able to tell basically where you were—like, which direction. Now, sure, I haven't had a boyfriend to compare this with, but I'm pretty sure that's not normal."
She blanched and was filled with embarrassment suddenly. She covered her face with her hands, and I reached over to pry her injured arm away from her face and back to its resting place. The other hand remained over her eyes.
"I—I didn't mean to say that you were my boyfriend. That's not what I meant…" she stuttered out.
"Bella," I said softly. "If you had meant it that way, I would have been thrilled. You can't imagine how much."
Ever so slowly, she peeked out from behind her fingers. I sent her a little more confidence. "Can we forget for now that I said that?" she asked. "At least until after that date you promised me?" She smiled, and I couldn't help smiling back at her. I was going to take her slip of the tongue as evidence that she did want me to be her boyfriend. Maybe not today, but sometime in the not-so-distant future.
"Sure. I'll forget about it. At least until Friday." I smirked slightly at her, and she blushed enticingly. I let my fingers brush against her hand, which was resting on her leg. "And Bella…?"
"Hmm?"
"If you're insane for feeling all those things, then I'm insane too."
It took a few seconds for the meaning of my words to sink in. Her eyes then widened and she gasped slightly. "R-really?"
"Really." I struggled to keep the smile I was wearing at a normal size. It threatened to make me look like a maniac with its severity. I forced myself to calm so we could continue the conversation. "That wasn't the only thing you're concerned about, was it?"
She frowned slightly, and I wasn't sure why she felt hesitant.
"What is it?" Now that I knew that she had thought of me as a potential boyfriend, I found myself a bit more forthcoming with her. This time when I began stroking her knee, it was on purpose.
She started slowly, hesitantly. "Have you ever… had the nagging feeling that you're missing some important piece of a puzzle? When you have all these little clues that just need one more piece of information to suddenly make sense? But… you can't just ask the person what's going on, because… you know… you might be completely off track. The things you've found weird might be completely innocent and not mean anything at all. And if you're wrong, they'll be offended." By the time she ended, she had sped up and was close to rambling.
"How about you tell me what you've noticed, and I promise I won't be offended." You're probably a lot closer to the truth than you'll even admit to yourself, I added in my head. I sure as hell wasn't about to tell Bella the truth about myself and my family and risk bringing the wrath of the Volturi down on us, but if she was going to work it out herself, I wasn't about to discourage her. The likelihood of her guessing our true nature was miniscule, regardless.
She nodded her agreement and seemed to be gathering her thoughts once more. "There's something different about you."
I didn't answer her; I just cocked my head to the side in interest.
"You don't feel like other people. You know… when you touch someone, there's a slight rubbery give to their skin before you hit muscle and bone. Your skin doesn't seem to have that."
She looked up at me, but I didn't confirm or deny.
As though she was proving her point, she picked up my hand, the direct skin-to-skin contact making us both shudder slightly in pleasure. She poked at the back of my hand.
"See? No give. It's really hard. And actually… colder than normal, too." She blushed again. "Sorry. I'm not trying to insult you."
"I know." I nodded, smiling at her. "It's okay. Go on."
"Um… when we have lunch together, you seem to just pick at your food. Most teenage guys are practically animals when it comes to eating. You never seem to be hungry. Or thirsty. I know that sometimes when girls are trying not to eat much, they try to fill up on water. But you don't seem interested in drinking, either." She looked up at me, questioning.
"Uh huh. Anything else?"
She raised an eyebrow at my lack of denial. "Today." She lowered her gaze.
"Today?" I placed a finger under her chin, encouraging her gently to look at me. She obliged, and I watched her eyes as she spoke.
"Today, everything is such a blur, and I don't remember it all, but there are little bits that stood out for me. Likely because they were so out of place."
I nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"You seemed to get to me so fast. It was as if I blinked and you were there, grabbing me. You took all the impact of us falling, and while I'm in this stupid sling, you don't have even a scratch on you. And…" She hesitated. "Afterwards, when your sisters and brother came over, the look on your face—it was just so intense. It was almost… inhuman."
At that word, I broke her gaze and looked away. I was suddenly afraid that she would reject me when she inevitably found that missing piece of the puzzle she was searching for and realized just how inhuman I really was. Would she hate me? Would she ignore our bond and force me to leave her alone? Because I knew deep down that no matter how much it hurt, if she wanted me out of her life, I would obey her wishes. And it would hurt. It would be a hundred times the pain I currently felt when I was simply across town from her. But I would bear it—even just to await the possibility of her letting me be near her again.
As I looked out the windshield, I purposefully blocked out her emotions, terrified that I'd feel disgust there.
"Jasper?" she whispered, squeezing the hand that she was still holding.
I slowly moved my head to look toward her. Instead of disgust and fear, she was emanating care and concern.
"You know this is two-way, right?" she said softly. "You can tell me anything."
"I don't think I can." I really didn't. I didn't know if I would be allowed to tell her. In my mind, the "never tell the secret" rule should be trumped by a Pereche bond. But who knew whether the Volturi would see it my way.
She was filled with a mixture of disappointment and understanding. "Can you answer me one question though?"
"I can try."
"Am I seeing meaning in completely innocuous things? Or am I right that there's something different about you?"
I licked my lips unnecessarily, fighting for more time to answer. "You're not wrong."
Something like relief swept quickly through her.
"But, Bella…"
"Don't worry," she interrupted. "I'm not going to say anything. Who would I tell? You're the only person I would tell something like this to." She pointed out the window at the road. "We can go now that I know I'm not crazy." She smirked at me.
I lifted her hand up and pressed my lips to the back of it impulsively. "You're not crazy at all. Well…. maybe you're crazy for not running away screaming, but I'll take that."
I drove her the rest of the way home, and when I pulled into her drive, she didn't move straight away.
"So, whatever this thing is that makes you special…" she began. I clung to how she said I was "special," and not "weird" or "monstrous." "If I've noticed things, there's probably a lot that you're still hiding—trying to appear 'normal'—right?"
I nodded slowly.
"But you can't tell me what it is?"
I shook my head no.
"Well, Jasper Hale, maybe when we're alone, you could drop the act. I want to know the real Jasper."
"No, you don't," I protested.
"Yes, I do. I deserve to know who you are if we're going to reassess that whole boyfriend status at a future date, don't I?"
"I guess." My heart swelled at her mention of "boyfriend" again.
"If you really can't tell me, I don't care. I don't care if we never put a label on what makes you special. But I really would like to get to know you. Just let go a little. It'll be worth it."
With that statement, she smiled, leaned over, and kissed me on the cheek before exiting the car.
"No give at all," I heard her say to herself, giggling, as she walked up to the house.
