A/N: Lots of things to say today!
1. I hope nobody is upset that I had to change this to be rated M. Shall we say that if you're not 16 (or whatever the legal age is where you live), then maybe you shouldn't be reading this chapter. Just... skip to about four fifths of the way down so you don't miss the last bit.
2. Sorry this took a bit longer than the last few chapters took. This is the first proper lemon I've ever written, so I wanted to be super careful with it.
3. If you're Canadian, before you go "that's not right", remember that this is set in 2005, so prior to the law changes. For any laws etc, I'm only as accurate as Wikipedia makes me.
4. Thank you to my betas. Especially for this chapter, because I was so scared about it, and your comments made me feel so much better. If anyone is considering going to Project Team Beta, GO! It's so worth it.
5. I don't own anything to do with Twilight. I haven't said this for a while, I guess.
6. Um... yeah. I'm gonna hide behind my couch now. Please let me know if it's okay!
Jasper
Love. Desire. Trust. Certainty.
Bella's emotions didn't waver. She wanted this just as much as I did. More so even, because I was still conflicted. Even though we had been together practically every waking moment since leaving Forks, we had only found each other a month ago. It just seemed too fast for a normal, human seventeen-year-old's relationship. Then again, this was far from a normal relationship.
"Jasper, don't make me beg."
More desire hit me full force. She was really learning how to use my gift to her own advantage.
"God, Bella, I so want to. But after your insistence on not breaking laws, are you sure you want to break this one? You're seventeen." I was an idiot. Even as I said the words, I wasn't sure why I was trying to talk her out of it. "I mean, I do have fake ID which would make it legal, but if you take the year I was actually born, then we really can't use the 'less than fifty-nine months age difference' defense." I had to be the most daft being on the planet; who wouldn't jump at the chance being offered here?
"That's in Washington. We're in Canada. I've been legal here for three years," she pointed out. She looked up at me pleadingly, but her emotions betrayed how nervous and insecure she was feeling. "Now, are you going to keep arguing and ruin this for me, or are you going to make love to your soulmate?" She cringed slightly as she heard the words come out of her mouth. She seemed surprised that she had said them out loud.
I didn't have to think about that one. All of my doubt had instantly slipped away, and I was eager to do my beloved's bidding. "Oh, definitely the second option." I leaned in to pepper the length of her pale neck with kisses. God, how I loved to feel the throbbing of her life force beneath my lips.
"Then strip," she commanded with a smirk. She seemed to be holding back a giggle.
I couldn't help smirking myself. "Yes, ma'am." My clothes were gone and I was back with her before she could blink twice. I would have left my underwear on, but since I hadn't been wearing any, that decision was taken away from me.
Her heart beat faster as the bed dipped next to her and she noticed my nudity. This alone was such a big step for her. She definitely hadn't seen me in any state of undress before, and I doubted that she had seen any man bare before. An errant thought flitted through my head that if she had, I would be inclined to hunt them down and kill them.
I reached for her, unsure what I wanted more – to kiss her or begin removing her clothing.
"No," she objected, and every ounce of yearning I had was put on hold. Had she changed her mind?
My face must have shown my disappointment, because she sat up and ran her fingers over my eyes and cheeks.
"I want to look at you," she explained.
"By all means."
I watched her face as I lay completely still. Her eyes stayed locked with mine for several seconds, anticipation flooding both of us, before she ventured her gaze further south. She took her time, taking in every inch of my skin. Her observation paused at my chest, and she traced the scars her limited eyesight could make out. I shuddered at her touch, feather light and unhurried.
"So beautiful," she breathed.
"Not many would agree with you," I debated. "Most vampires would just see them as a sign of how dangerous I am."
"They're wrong." She continued tracing the crescent shapes. "Each mark on your body is part of you. Each one has a story—a story that made you into the amazing person you are now—and each one shows that you're a survivor. You can take on anything – physical or emotional."
I'd never heard anyone speak about my deformities that way before. Alice loved me, and she overlooked the scars and my dark history, but Bella went further than that. Bella believed they were a good thing. She truly was remarkable.
She stubbornly kept her gaze on my torso for several minutes before venturing further down. Her breath caught and heart pounded at the unchartered territory. Now, I could assume that any male on the planet would gain a little ego boost at that reaction from their mate, and I was no different. We were going to spend the rest of eternity together; it pleased me that she seemed to like what she saw.
Her hands skipped the part of me that ached for her touch the most—understandable considering her lack of experience—and skimmed down my leg.
"Bella," I moaned as her touch began its journey back up my other leg and stopped at my thigh. This girl would forever be the cause of pleasure and pain, attainment and frustration. She was the one living being who could leave bruises on my heart.
Lust. Nervousness. Surety. Need.
Bella picked my hands up and kissed the back of each one before moving them to the hem of her tank top. She stared deep into my soul. Nothing else in the world existed. I felt the lift of her chest as she breathed heavily. Without breaking our connection, she slowly lay down against the pillows, essentially dragging me with her. As if we were of one mind, both our eyes flitted down to where I grasped her top.
I didn't need to be asked. Inch by agonizing inch, I moved the hem up to reveal her flat stomach, her belly button, the underside of her breasts. I paused, flicking my gaze back up to her face.
She nodded twice.
Not wanting to cover her beautiful face for longer than necessary, I whipped the shirt the rest of the way off, making Bella gasp from the speed. I didn't pause to look at her exposed body; I simply covered it with my own and kissed her slowly. It had been too many minutes since I had tasted her mouth. It was a taste that could cure any evil in the world. I should sell it to warring countries and watch as they called truces. Surely nobody could think about fighting when they were kissing Bella.
"Shorts… off…" Bella forced out when I allowed her up for air.
Without stopping the kissing, I obeyed, pushing her boxer shorts down her legs—rather awkwardly—one side at a time. Her scent flooded my senses, and shuddering, I pulled back to sit on my heels.
She wasn't wearing panties—she really had been preparing for this—and she was finally bare before me. My eyes traveled her body from head to toe.
Intellectually, I knew that she was designed perfectly for me, but as I gazed at her body I had to disagree. She wasn't simply perfect for me. She was simply perfect. Anyone would have to agree. There wasn't an inch of her that I would change.
I couldn't comprehend what I had ever done to be so blessed. I was the luckiest man—human or vampire or any other being you could imagine—in existence.
"Mine." There was just the hint of a growl in my voice.
"Yes, Jasper. Yours."
A thrill went through me at her words. She had said them before, but they held so much more weight knowing that she was completely giving herself to me tonight. I couldn't wait; I lowered myself onto her, attacking her lips once more.
The weather had changed since we were outside. The wind blew the trees violently and I could hear snowflakes battering against the window. Outside, the world was horrid and inhospitable, but here inside it was warm and—like we were surrounded by a bubble—none of that mattered.
I allowed my hand to travel up her side, caressing each molecule of skin, until it reached the side of her breast. As I hesitated, she shifted sideways, and my hand was on her. She fit in my hand so perfectly, and I could feel her nipple hard against my palm. I didn't stop kissing her, letting my tongue explore her soft mouth, as my left hand explored her body.
While I would never tire of feeling her supple breasts, I had other territory to discover, and I moved lower. I paused at the top of her thigh.
"Sweetheart, I need to know that you're absolutely sure."
"I'm so sure. It might seem fast, but this feels so incredibly right. Like something is drawing me to you. Telling me that it's time. That you're mine."
She gasped softly and her legs fell slightly apart as I touched her. I went slowly at first, but let her involuntary movements guide me.
"Please, Jasper," she moaned, tugging my shoulders higher.
I acquiesced – she definitely felt ready, and I was even more so. I was sure I wasn't going to last long, vampire endurance or not.
I pulled one of her legs around my hips. She took the hint and moved the other leg herself to curl around my lower thigh.
Bella grasped the back of my head, her fingers twisting in my hair, and pulled me down for another searing kiss. "I love you, Jasper."
"I love you, too. More than I thought was possible." And with that, I guided myself inside her. She tensed for a second, but I calmed her. I couldn't take away the physical pain, but I could take away as much as possible of the inner turmoil, keeping her relaxed. "Shhh, you're okay."
She nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders. I couldn't smell any blood, so it could have been worse.
I moved slowly, letting her adjust. When I could no longer fight the urge to move faster, I began touching her cautiously, hoping that even if it was her first time, maybe she could gain some pleasure from the experience.
When she moaned softly, my name was like a hymn upon her lips. I felt so blessed to have her in my arms. Whatever god was looking out for me deserved the highest of praises. Alters and sacrifices.
Desire. Adoration. Submission. Anticipation.
I could feel myself beginning to fall into oblivion. I took my own lust and love and bounced it back at her, pulling her feelings into myself. Everything I ever felt for her, I made sure she could also feel.
"Jasper," she whispered with a shiver, gripping the tendrils of hair against my neck tightly.
I felt myself falling and couldn't stop the descent even if I wanted to. I thought I could hear Bella's name fall from my lips, but couldn't be sure. All I could think of was how each inch of my skin against hers felt in that instant. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was absolute completion.
I knew I was probably squashing her, but I found I couldn't move. When I came back to awareness, God only knows how much time had passed. She had completely consumed my body and mind, leaving me oblivious to everything. My face was buried in her neck, her hair mixing with mine around my face, and Bella was stroking my back with just the finest touch of her fingers.
I made to pull out and move off her, but she grasped my ass and held me in place. "Don't move. Stay there," she whispered, and I was more than happy to comply.
We kissed slowly and languidly, and the feeling of her body underneath mine almost made me want to take her again. But I knew that was a stupid idea – she was human and until tonight had been a virgin. I saddened when a small movement of her hips broke our connection, and with a sigh Bella rolled us over so she could snuggle into my side.
"No regrets, right?" she whispered into the semi-darkened room.
"Never," I affirmed. "Even when I look back on this night in a hundred years' time, it will be the most perfect experience of my life. Nothing could ever be this flawless. Because it's you, sweetheart, who's here to share it with me."
She sighed happily and rubbed her cheek against my chest. "Perfect," her hushed voice let out.
I reveled in the feeling of her naked body pressed against mine as her breathing grew deeper and she fell into slumber. I listened to the simultaneous sounds of her peaceful sleep in contrast to the raging of the weather outside, where the storm seemed to gain in intensity as each hour toward dawn passed.
If I hadn't known that there was a supernatural force pulling us together before, I definitely would have known it now. Something had changed within me. It wasn't quite the change which occurred when I first met her, but something in my chest was different. I felt like the imaginary rope tugging to keep us together had grown thicker and stronger. When we had been in Forks, it had been incredibly painful to be at my house while she was at her own. Now I got the feeling that it would be physically impossible to be that far apart. Our bond had strengthened. And if it were possible, I would say that I loved her even more now.
I believed it was a small limb from one of the trees being torn away from its trunk and smacking against the house that woke her not long after the sun had risen.
With a whisper to inform her of my intent, I snuck out of her grasp to fill the bath. She would feel a lot better after a long soak.
As I stirred bath salts through the hot water with my bare hand, unable to be injured by the heat, I heard her slip out of bed and pad around the bedroom. Material slipped against her body, and she seemed to be picking up the clothes scattered over the floor.
"Jasper?"
I looked up to see her leaning against the doorway wearing just one of my shirts. My mouth filled with venom at the sight.
"Your phone was under the bed." She held it up for me to see. "It's completely dead. Won't even turn on."
I remembered being distracted by her body and failing to pick the phone up from the floor. "Oh. The charger should be in my bag. Can you plug it in?"
Nodding, she disappeared from my sight, and I heard her fiddling around with the power socket.
When she returned, I focused my attention on stripping her of the shirt she had been wearing and admiring her body. The body which was mine alone to view. She shivered as my hands rolled over her skin and I assisted her into the tub. I settled behind her, pulling her back against my chest.
"Do you feel okay, sweetheart?"
"Great," she replied with a smirk.
"Are you sure? You're not in pain?" I did a quick inventory of the parts of her body I could see without jiggling her too much. She had a few small bruises from where I had gripped her too tightly—one on her side and one near her shoulder—but nothing to be too concerned about.
Her skin flushed pink, and I finally noticed how it colored much more than just her cheeks. I couldn't help but trace a fingertip over the blush on her chest and shoulders.
"I knew it'd hurt," she told me, her voice so quiet a human would have struggled to hear her. "It wasn't as bad as I expected." I studied her face as she considered how to word it. "Just uncomfortable, I guess."
"It won't be like that forever. In fact, next time should be much more pleasurable for you." I saw her blush return, even though it had receded only seconds ago. "I mean, of course, if you wanted to do it again."
She chuckled, and I could feel her whole body moving against mine. "You don't need to worry about that, honey. I'll always want you." She seemed to think about it for a short while. "It's that bond, I think. I can't help myself."
"Well, thank you to whatever god thought of Sufletul Pereche, then," I joked.
I snuggled against her neck, breathing in her scent which was intensified by the heat of the room and the increased blood flow from the warm water. I wished fervently that we could stay here in this cabin forever. That we could shut ourselves away from the world and just be the two of us together for all eternity.
Eventually, though, the outside world would intervene. It was inevitable. And just to prove my mental point, in the other room, my cell phone got to the point where it had enough battery power to turn itself back on. The whooshing sound it made as it turned on made me realize that we were connected back to reality.
And then two things made me freeze and grip Bella to me as tightly as was safe.
My cell phone began to beep continuously, indicating an infinite number of missed calls and text messages. More messages than I normally received in a month. Somebody—most likely Alice—had been desperately trying to get in contact with us.
And that was when I felt it. Someone was nearby—just within the range of my gift—and getting closer by the second. And it didn't feel like a casual visitor. All I felt was anger, desperation and some of the most intense bloodlust I had felt in a long time.
It was Edward.