I'd had to wake Ace up again so we could move (even though I really didn't want to move him) but I'd found a spot underneath a massive tree that seemed to be keeping dry due to the number of branches overhead. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. The last thing Ace needed was to get wet again. His clothes were still a little damp from being in the river, so if he got stuck in the rain I could only imagine how much worse that would make things. Luckily the tree wasn't too far from our spot, but it had still been a struggle getting him to stand so I could help him walk over to it. He was so unsteady on his feet! I got him set up in his sleeping bag again and he passed out quickly (the fact that he'd woken up had made me feel a little better, at least) and now I sat beside him with my back to the tree, listening to the rain fall against the leaves. Usually I loved listening to the rain, but now it was horrible, because the rain made everything so much worse. If it kept up it would be bad, because it would get colder, and if Ace got wet and cold I'm sure he'd only get even sicker.

So I sat and hoped that it would stop soon, because I didn't want it to rain when I left him in the morning to find help. I was debating leaving him, though, convinced something would happen when he was all alone. If he didn't make it, it was all on my shoulders, and that was scary. I'd never been responsible for anyone other than myself before.

I pulled the sweater tighter around me as I hunched against the tree, the sound of the rain only keeping me awake. At least only a few drops were getting through, and we were both fairly dry. That was the important thing. I took an apple out of the bag and figured I might as well eat it, just for something to do at least. I was worried that we'd run out of food, but if I really was going to leave tomorrow to find my way back to camp, I would need some energy.

Besides, it didn't seem like Ace was all that interested in eating. It would be pointless to make him eat if he was just going to throw up later. So maybe that would buy me some more energy with his share. The thing I was actually most worried about was the water. Water was the only thing he wanted, but there wasn't that much of it left. Sure there was a stream nearby, but there were probably harmful bacteria in it, and without the ability to boil it, it wouldn't be safe to drink.

That was yet another reason that led me toward the belief that I had to leave him. It would be pointless for us to both stay here and suffer from dehydration.

The search for the boys had been on for four hours already, but nothing had turned up yet. It was hard to search at night, since there was virtually no chance to track where they had gone. When the first drop of rain fell Leaf looked up at the sky and felt like cursing. Rain would make everything worse! Any evidence of what may have happened would be washed away. He'd been jittery and on edge all night and things had only gotten worse when that pack of wolves had started howling. Of course they were quite a ways off, but he worried that to two lost boys in the woods, it may spook them.

They were driving down the river now, going slowly and monitoring the woods on each side of the bank, scanning for any sign of a camp set up. There were other search parties scattered around different areas, but for some reason Leaf was sure the boys would be near the water, because it was the sensible thing to do. Stay near a big landmark. Maybe they were headed back down to the lake, intent on following it around back to the camp. It would be a bit of a hike, and what if one of them was injured? He'd been keeping himself busy contemplating what could have happened to them, much to the annoyance of Magnus, who'd told him to stop worrying until they found the kids.

But he couldn't help it. In all his years as a counsellor, this was the first time a camper had gone missing on a navigation exercise. Sure, some kids had gotten a little lost, but they were always in the vicinity of where they were supposed to be. These two were nowhere near where they should have been.

"Hey Leaf," Magnus called over the Jeep's engine, "look down there, on the other side. See how the bank's pretty level with the water? What if they fell into the river back there, and weren't able to climb out until they got here. Maybe they're off in that side of the woods somewhere? What do you think?"

Leaf looked over at the opposite bank, thinking that Magnus may have a point. "I think you might be on to something. Should we scale down the cliff and go check?"

Magnus thought about it, but shook his head. "Not right now. It's too dangerous with the rain and the darkness. But let's keep going and pay close attention to that side of the riverbank. If we see anything obvious, then maybe we'll consider going down to check it out. But there's nothing right here to suggest they were there, so I don't think we should risk ourselves going down."

"Are you sure?" Leaf asked, "what if they're hurt over there, waiting for someone to find them?" He hated the thought of the boys being camped out in the thick woods, just beyond the reach of their flashlights. He didn't want to pass them by.

"Let's keep going, and if the cliff drops, maybe we'll think about it." Leaf didn't like having to submit to Magnus' idea, but he knew that he might not be thinking with a clear head. So for now he kept driving slowly along the top of the cliff, looking into the tree line on his side while Magnus looked at the river bank on the other side. A few times they stopped to yell out to the boys again, but they never heard anything in return.

The sun started rising again around five-thirty in the morning, and I figured that I may as well get as early a start as possible, since I hadn't slept at all. The bad news was that it was still raining, but at least it wasn't a torrential downpour, just a light rain. Everything would still be wet, though, which was going to make it very uncomfortable for me.

I knelt down next to Ace, lightly shaking his arm. I'd need to wake him up and talk to him to ensure he knew what was going on. I was still worried about leaving him, though, especially since I wasn't really sure how long it would take to get back to camp, nor was I exactly sure how I'd remember where Ace was. I was going to have to come up with something, and then hope that Ace would be okay until I got back with help.

"Hey Ace, wake up," I shook the other boy's arm, worried when it took him a little while to wake. "How are you feeling?"

Ace still looked pale and felt clammy, but seemed aware of his surroundings for once. "Tired," he said, before looking up at me.

"I know, but how are you feeling aside from that? Do you feel sick, or do you think you can try to eat something?" One thing I did want to look into was if Ace could manage to eat anything. Even if it was just bread from the sandwich, that would make me happy. Just getting something into him was all I was concerned about.

"I don't know, maybe," Ace struggled to push himself up into a sitting position, and I got behind him to help. I sat him back against the tree and waited to see if sitting up would make him feel ill as it had the night before. Luckily he seemed to be okay (or at least he wasn't telling me that he felt sick) so I hoped that maybe this would mean that he would be able to hold something down for once.

"Why don't you try eating some bread," I said, reaching for the last sandwich and opening the bag to tear a bit of the bread off. "Here, see if you can hold that down."

He took the bread and stared at it before putting it to his mouth and slowly beginning to chew. He seemed okay at first but when he tried to swallow I could see that this wasn't going to work. I was barely able to help him lean over to the side before he threw up again, and I felt yesterday's negative emotions coming back at me. I was utterly useless.

I sat behind him and held on to him (because it felt like he was going to fall over if I just left him) while reaching for the water. I took off the cap and tried to give it to him, but he refused. I felt his forehead again and was relieved that it was still cold and clammy (because at least this meant that him being sick was just because of the concussion, and not because he'd picked up a bug and had a fever - or at least I hoped that's what it meant).

How could I leave him like this? He was in no condition to be left alone. But there wasn't anything else I could do. I just wished that I knew how far it was to the camp. Or where any of the other boys were, so I could find one of them and use their flare.

I was brought back to the present scenario by Ace shifting slightly in front of me, and I was worried because I could feel him shivering. I should probably get him back in the sleeping bag so he was warm.

"Hey Lance," he said suddenly, catching me off guard.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say, thanks," though he was sick, his tone of voice was about as sincere as I'd ever heard it before.

"Hey, no problem," I answered, unsure of how to respond, "I mean, this whole thing is my fault anyway, right?" As soon as I'd spoken I wished I hadn't said anything. But he ignored my comment.

"Must be hard, I know you don't like me."

I couldn't stop the words before they were out of my mouth, as though his comment had triggered my desire to spew out all the questions I'd ever had for him regarding this. "Ace, why did we stop being friends? Why did you start hating me?" Once again I wished I'd been able to control my voice, but the questions were out there now and there was nothing I could do about them. I did feel a little better though, I had to admit. Ever since he'd fallen off the cliff I'd forgotten how angry I'd been at him since last week, but now everything came flooding back and being able to vocalise my frustration was immensely helpful.

But I still hoped he'd ignore my questions the way he'd ignored my comment a moment ago. This was the last thing we needed to be talking about right now. Unfortunately though he didn't seem to agree with me.

"Teddy," was all he said, and it confused me. He hated me because of Teddy? That made zero sense, and suddenly I wondered if maybe he was getting delirious again.

"What do you mean?" But I still had to ask.

"Lance, who would you say is your best friend?"

I was surprised again by his question, confused beyond belief as to what that had to do with anything. Besides, he didn't really need to ask me, did he? "Teddy," I answered.

"And if you asked me, who was my best friend?"

"Teddy," I answered, starting to at least see the beginning of reason. So we had the same best friend. We'd all been friends since we were kids, so I didn't understand why it had to change now.

Ace paused before speaking again, drawing in a deep but rattling breath. "And if you asked Teddy, who his best friend is? Who do you think he would choose?"

I paused then, thinking about it. I was starting to see exactly where he was going, but it still didn't make any sense. He sounded completely sure of his comments, though, so this wasn't delirium speaking from his mouth. I thought about Teddy then, and about his relationship with the both of us. He always did whatever Ace told him to do, and even though he never acted like a jerk when we were alone, whenever Ace was there Teddy became his little puppet, leaving me behind. The answer was clear, and it kind of stung that Ace had asked it right now. Was he trying to make me feel worse?

"He'd choose you," I said, not understanding how this could possibly have led Ace to hate me. Unless he thought I was taking up too much of Teddy's time?

"You're wrong," Ace said, and at first I wasn't sure what he meant. Wrong? When I didn't say anything he kept talking. "Teddy would say that it's you."

I shook my head, wondering if maybe it was delirium speaking after all. "No, Ace. Maybe you don't see it the way I do. When we're alone, sure, Teddy and me, we get along perfect. But then, whenever you're there," I paused, not sure if I should really be talking about this right now. What if what I had to say would bother him, or make him feel bad? But I was stuck now anyway, so I continued. "Whenever you're there, he acts like a jerk. He puts me down just to impress you. That's not how you treat your true best friend."

Ace was silent for a moment, and I wondered if now he saw what I saw. But he still disagreed. "He just does that because he knows you'll still be his friend. He trusts you, Lance. He doesn't trust me."

I was shocked by that comment. How could Ace think that? I knew for a fact that Teddy trusted him, because he always followed along with anything Ace ever said or did. "He trusts you, are you kidding me? You say jump, he doesn't even ask how high, he just jumps!" I winced a little at my corny example, but it was true. Ace spoke, and Teddy followed. That's the way it always was. "He wouldn't follow you around if he didn't trust you."

"That's not trust, Lance. He's afraid of me," Ace replied, "Afraid that if he doesn't do what he thinks I want him to do, I won't be his friend." Ace coughed suddenly after the comment, and I couldn't help but feel a little worried. Was he coughing because his throat was dry? Or was he getting sicker?

I wasn't sure what to say to him, though. I guess that maybe it made sense, on some level. I still didn't buy it. "I don't know, Ace. I think maybe you don't trust Teddy enough."

"He used to like Sweetheart, you know," Ace then said suddenly and my nerves pricked up a little. I wondered if Ace knew that I liked Sweetheart? "I told him that I didn't really like her, so he went for Bon Bon instead."

I hadn't known that. Teddy had never told me that he liked Sweetheart, or that Ace had told him that he didn't like her. And why wouldn't he like her? She was the most likeable person in the world! But that didn't matter at the moment. "So you told him not to date her because you didn't like her?" I knew I sounded a little rude in my question, but I couldn't help it. Did he think she wasn't good enough or something?

"No," he said, "I didn't tell him anything. He just thought I didn't want him to date her," Ace paused again to breathe more deeply, "so he didn't date her, because he was afraid I'd be mad."

It was all starting to come together for me now. "So what makes you think he thinks of me as his best friend?" That was the part I still wasn't sure about.

"Because he's not afraid to be himself with you," Ace answered, shivering a little more, "you don't judge him."

"Do you judge him?" I asked, still kind of confused about the whole dynamic of his friendship with Teddy.

"No," he replied, "but he thinks I do, so that's why he's always a jerk when he's with me. He wants me to think he's tough, because he thinks that's why we're friends."

I was surprised that Ace had thought of all of this to begin with, and even more so that he remembered it after his accident! How long had this been eating at him, though? I almost couldn't blame him for taking out his frustration on me over the past year. There he was, trying to cling to friendship with someone who was afraid of displeasing him, and there I was, the safe friendship, the one Teddy could always come back to without fear of repercussion. It totally made sense, and it kind of made me feel sorry for Ace. And it's not like he could talk to Teddy about it, because guys our age don't talk about these sorts of things with each other.

At least not under normal circumstances. "You're making a lot of sense," I replied softly, wondering what I was supposed to do now.

"What a shock, huh?"

I actually laughed just a bit at his comment, because it was true. He'd spent half a day drifting in and out of consciousness, sometimes not making any sense, and yet here he was this morning clarifying so much for me. It left me feeling horrible about the whole situation, though.

"You probably wonder why it matters to me, about Teddy," he went on, and he was right. Ace could be friends with anyone he wanted to be friends with, so why not just find a new best friend if Teddy was slipping away? "I don't really have any friends, except for him, and Patch."

"Are you crazy? You have more friends than anyone," I replied, but as soon as I spoke I started thinking about what he'd just told me about Teddy. Maybe he felt that way about everyone else who said they were his friend too.

"No, everyone is just too intimidated by me," he said, drawing a deep breath again, "they just think being friends with me will make them cool. I don't even know if Mel really likes me that much."

That I was shocked about. "Come on, Ace. Melody does like you," I paused, totally thinking that this wasn't the time for lectures, but that we were already on the topic anyway and maybe he deserved to hear it, "even though you treat her badly sometimes."

"I do that on purpose," he surprised me by saying, "to see if she'll stay anyway."

"That's stupid," I immediately replied, totally meaning it. "You're complaining that Teddy doesn't trust you, and yet you don't trust your girlfriend, who you should trust. She doesn't deserve that, Ace. She cares about you," I said, sure of it after overhearing her talk last week with Bon Bon. "She does think you're a bit of a jerk, but I guess sometimes you are nice to her, and she thinks that the nice guy is the real you, and not the jerk."

He didn't respond to that, and I wondered why. Did he not believe me? Or did he just not want to believe me, because it was easier not trusting people?

"I wasn't always a jerk to her," he said, "just recently."

That had me curious. "Why, did something happen?"

Ace sighed before answering. "Long story, but it's not her fault. I just can't help it," he sounded a little bothered over the comment, and I wondered what was going on with him. I looked at my watch and saw that half an hour had gone by, and as much as I wanted to stay and keep talking, I should really be leaving soon if I was going to get him help.

"Listen, Ace," I wasn't totally sure about how to end this, for now at least, but I did need to get going and I think he needed to get back in his sleeping bag and rest. He'd been shaking and shivering quite a bit for the past little while, and the conversation no doubt had to be draining on him. "I want to stay and talk to you more, because I think I really understand you now, but I have to leave. You really need help, and I don't know how long it will take me to get back to camp. Are you going to be okay?" I know it was a stupid question, but what else were you supposed to say in this situation?

"I guess," he said, and I felt horrible about leaving him. Not only was he in trouble physically, but I'm sure he was probably hurting emotionally right now too. I really wanted to find out what had happened to him lately, but I was worried about getting him help. He wasn't eating or even drinking any more, and he still felt cold and clammy. He needed a doctor.

"Okay, well, hopefully I'll find someone and be back later today, that's why I want to go early," I explained, "I'll leave you the rest of the water in case you get thirsty."

"You take the food, I won't eat it," he said, as though the mere sight of food would make him sick again.

"I will. You just try and sleep all day, maybe it'll help." I wasn't sure what else to say. Try not to get eaten by a bear? I hope those wolves I heard howling last night don't find you? Instead I just helped him back into his sleeping bag, pulling the other one over him like a blanket and pulling it up to his face so he could hide from the sun if it came through the trees later.

"I think you should be okay here, the sun shouldn't bother you too much and if it keeps raining you should stay dry," I said, still feeling bad about leaving. I was still scared about leaving.

"I'll be okay, Lance," he said to me before closing his eyes.

I stood up and stared down at him for a moment, still shivering violently in his sleeping bag, before putting the water bottle beside his head, and picking up the pack with the extra sandwich and fruit. It was still raining a little, so I zipped up his sweater and then turned to start off. I was going to follow the river to the lake, and hopefully make my way back to camp.

I was just scared about remembering where he was.