A/N: Okay, so well this may be one of my last updates for a while, 'cause school starts soon, and I'm kind of in a bit of hot water for not having my room cleaned yet. Well, who knows, by some miracle I could find some time to update more, however I figured I'd let y'all know that this story might be quiet for a while. OH AND WARNING AGAIN THERE IS LANGUAGE! Ok, so I really kind of want to just leave this as a little chapter-lit, or a excerpt-ish kind of thing, if you please, although I really should include this as a chapter. Figured I'd let y'all know about this internal turmoil, because isn't that what authors notes are for? But, anyway I'll get on with the story now, but I have to add this next bit in bold because my friends have threatened to not read my stories if i don't have my disclaimers . so here it is: DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters created by Kelley Armstrong for the Darkest Powers trilogy; I do however own my new additions to the story. Oh and this is in our little bad-boy's point of view. Enjoy!

Chapter 9

Damn it! Frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. Neither does, guilty, pissed off, sad, upset, remorseful, and a whole host of other words I can't even muster up the energy to think of right now. I wanted to cuss myself up one side and down the other. I wanted someone to punish me. I needed someone too. I messed up. I was the reason the small, pale thing in my arms right now, was broken. You can bet your arse that I was praying to God with every fibre of my being that she would be ok, that she wouldn't hate me for the rest of our lives. It was a selfish hope, but my hope none the less.

I was just a second too late. Earlier today I upset Starr to the point of running away and crying. She holed herself up in a tree to get away from everyone. I saw Derek follow her, how she sent him off, how her powers bent to her wills.

I hid in the forest as well. I hoped once she calmed down she'd let me apologize. Even if she didn't accept it, or even believe my apology for that matter, I still had to try.

Lost in thought, I saw a shape falling. She was falling, I ran to try to catch her. I was too late. She hit the ground with a sickening thud.

I picked up the tiny thing in my arms. The subconscious way she winced in pain made me physically sick. I had to get here somewhere to get healed and fast. I stood up and started running. Maybe they were right, maybe they were all right. Maybe I was worthless. I wasn't good for anything except hurting others. I should have pulled the trigger when I had the chance.

I reached the house, and my thoughts scattered. Most of the house had been waiting outside for Starr to return. There wasn't a single face in that crowd that wasn't pale.

"Andrew you have to get a healer here now. She fell from a thirty foot tree! I tried to catch her, I did. I was too slow. I missed her, I was so close to saving her." Tears started falling down my face in my rant. Starr was carefully being placed on a table for damage assesment.

Someone was trying to comfort me; an arm was around my shoulder, someone was whispering quiet words I wouldn't believe in my ear. Then suddenly someone had knocked the arm away, and was shaking me.

"FOCUS! IF YOU WANT TO SAVE HER PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" Tori was screaming in my face, she had tears on her cheeks too. Swallowing, I nodded. She was right. I had to focus.

"SHITE! ANDREW! We need to get her water fast! The reason she fell in the first place was dehydration, after a fall like that her body's going to try and heal itself, which will require more energy which her body doesn't have because of the water it's lacking!" a scurry of movement resounded at my words.

So far, Starr's injuries totalled to, a few minor cuts, three broken bones, a few bruises, two sprains, and dehydration. The fall itself wouldn't kill her with it's injuries but coupled with the dehydration it might.

Simon seemed to appear out of now where with a needle, "What the- where the hell did you get that?" I asked shocked.

"I'm diabetic, asshole," his voice was venomous; I deserved that, this was all my fault, "This is my insulin needle, I figured we could jerry-rig it into an i.v. for Starr, then pump in some water to help rehydrate her."

I blinked. This kid was a genious. Then I realized that last explanation, wasn't directed at me, it was to Andrew who nodded and backed up to let Simon go to work. I quietly ecused myself, right before the vision hit.

The vision was a flashback, to my past.

*Cue flashback*

"You're worthless you know that!" Thwap.

"You were never worth anything." Thwap.

"If I'd known I'd end up with a worthless little shit like you I'd have never fucked your father!" Thwap.

"He was worthless too, ya know?" Thwap.

"Like father, like son. Just like." Dark chuckle. Crash. There was a single little whimper.

*End flashback*

It was the night I finally ran away. I had finally had enough of being beaten. My mother was forever drunk. My older siblings had long since left. There was no one to defend me, from her drunken rage anymore. I couldn't take it. I ran away.

The power of the memory knocked me off my feet. Sitting on the ground with my eyes closed, and my head against the wall, I finally blacked out.