Rating: M

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.
Thanks to LovinRob for beta'ing – she smacked it up, flipped it and rubbed it down.
Thanks to Carrie ZM for doin' me… the honor of pre-reading this crazy fic.
Thanks to AmandaC3 for the fantastic banner.
And to the Triangle of Curls Girls for all of the encouragement.

Don't forget to drop your R's
and keep practicing your Boston accent.

Chapter 4 - Delirium

April 19, 2013
11:30 AM EDT
Boston, MA

I meet her eyes with a crooked smirk and lift the tip of her injured finger to my lips, before pecking it softly.

"I'm good at a lot of things, Cookie."

"Yes, you are," she muses quietly with her eyes on my lips. I'm guessin' she's remembering how my mouth felt all over her body last night.

Still holding her hand I bring it to my chest, pulling her closer to me. The small tilt of her head and the slight part of her lips is all the invitation I need. I go for it, placing my mouth on hers. What starts as a small peck turns into a full on frenzy as we find ourselves in a very familiar position on the counter. Bella wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me forward until my center is pressing against her tightly. I groan into her mouth when she pulls the tie on the robe and grips my dick.

"I'm good at a lot of things, too," she murmurs softly against my jaw as she starts jerking my shaft slowly.

I brace myself against the counter, leaning my forehead against hers as we watch her work me over. She alternates between a firm hold and a feather-light touch. It's fuckin' maddening and she knows it. I hiss when she trails her injured hand down my stomach and scratches the sensitive skin near my thigh.

"Does that feel good, Edward?" She asks in a baby soft voice as she grins, obviously pleased with the effect she has on me.

She works her thumb over the head as I nod and watch. I start to gently slip my hands higher and higher on her thighs until my finger tips descend under her shorts. I let them linger there, enjoying how her soft pants quickly turn into quiet whimpers. The thin fabric of her tank top is now molded to her chest, her nipples hardening right before my eyes.

"You turned on, Cookie?" I smile against her shoulder and reach up to lower the thin strap. I feel her nod as I run my tongue across her collarbone. I just need for her to say the words. "Tell me what you want."

But she doesn't tell because that's not her style. Instead, she smashes her lips to mine and grinds her center against my erection. She's kissing me crazy and I am doing everything I can to hold my own against her intensity. And just as it's getting good, Judas Priest interrupts our foray into foreplay with a rousing live rendition of 'Breakin' the Law'.

"Shit!" she grumbles against my lips and pulls back.

"Just ignore it. Call 'em later." I plead against her throat as I lower my hands down her chest hoping that she is still down for round two.

"I can't," she says unconvincingly as she holds my head to her neck. "It's my dad. If I don't answer, he will probably send over a few of his police buddies to do a well check on me."

I seem to recall that her father is in law enforcement. The last thing I need is any more boys in blue to see me looking all pretty in pink so I help her off the counter and start cleaning up the glass.

"Hi dad," she says sheepishly like he just caught her getting to first base with a boy on the kitchen counter.

"Yes, they were here."

"No, I didn't tell them that I was Charlie Swan's daughter."

"I doubt they'd remember the time your case was on America's Most Wanted. I don't even think that show is on the air anymore."

"I know Dad, the case made national headlines."

"Yes, I loaded it."

Her voice rises, laced with irritation. "Yes Dad, the safety is on."

I glance and smirk at her as I place some of the larger glass shards in the garbage can. She responds in kind by rolling her eyes and miming blowing her brains out with her fingers.

"Uh, yeah, he's right here."

I panic because there is an off chance that Bella is one of those psychos who calls their parents after knocking boots.

"Jake, come say hi to Grandpa Charlie."

And I'll be damned if that dog doesn't trot his rotten ass over to her to sniff and bark into the phone she's holding out to him.

"Alright dad, I need to get some work done around here. Is there anything else you need?"

"Nope."

"Truly I haven't."

"No, I haven't heard from Felix this week."

My ears perk up at the mention of her ex-boyfriend's name, but more importantly at the unmistakable annoyance I hear in her voice. I eye her from behind the island, watching as she cradles the phone on her shoulder and straightens a picture on her bookcase.

"How's Sue?"

"Don't play dumb. Alice's mom told her she ran into you guys at mass."

"Oh really? How convenient," she says, dragging it out like the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live. "Interesting how you are just now calling me mid-morning. Where have you been? We've been on lockdown for hours."

She realizes her error the minute she says it and tries to do damage control.

"And by we, I mean Jake and I... and the city of Boston... because we're all on lockdown."

"Yeah, alright, I will."

"Love you too, Dad."

"Bye."

She ends the call and slumps into a chair at the table.

"Sorry about that. My dad is kind-of…over-protective," she says, sounding embarrassed.

Looks like Daddy killed the mood.

"Where's your vacuum?"

"Uh, hall closet. I can do that, you don't have to." She tells me getting up.

"Nah, sit down. I got it."

I vacuum up the glass as Jake and Bella look on in amusement.

"Something funny?" I ask as I bend over to wrap up the cord.

She nods and points at me up and down.

"I should snap a picture of this. It's like mommy-porn. A hot guy in a pink robe, vacuuming. Chicks would love it. You could do a calendar. I'll bet you Riley would buy it."

She's got jokes. "Careful Cookie, or I won't do the dishes."

After I do the dishes, we make our way back to the living room. The silence is back, but it's somehow less awkward. I flip through the news stations only to see more of the same images and speculation. The suspects face fills the screen every 2-3 minutes. Bella watches with me for about thirty minutes before she grabs her iPad and curls up in the corner of the couch. And Jake is eye-ballin' me from his little perch on top of the chair. I think about taking a nap when I hear Bella grumble.

"Jesus, Alice."

Bella is shaking her head, huffing and rolling her eyes every now and again. I find myself watching her in my periphery. She's far more entertaining than watching the lockdown coverage and I welcome the distraction.

"What's got ya worked up over there, Cookie?"

She looks over at me, chewing her nail nervously. "I don't know what a lot of this shit is. How am I supposed to know what I should get?"

"Here, lemme' see." I say, taking the opportunity to scoot closer to her as I grab the iPad and read the screen. "Ah, baby shower, huh?"

"Yeah. My friend Alice is having a baby. Her friends in Texas are throwing her a shower next weekend."

"Is she having multiples?" I ask as I scroll through the twelve page registry.

She snorts and shakes her head. "No. Alice is just as clueless as I am about the whole kid thing. I'm pretty sure she just took that What to Expect book's advice and registered for the entire goddamn store," she leans in and reads over my shoulder. "I think I should get the My Breast Friend pillow just because I like the name."

"Nah, here's what you want to get." I tell her as I make my selection. "The Baby Einstein Company calls it an 'Exersaucer', but Uncle Edward calls it 'solitary confinement'. Trust me; she will be thanking you once the little one is mobile."

"You're an uncle?" She asks as I hand her back the tablet.

"Yep. I've got two nephews, Liam and Connor. One's good, one's hood, but I love 'em both like crazy."

"I'm supposed to send some sort of parenting advice as well. Got any sage advice for me, Uncle Edward?"

"Yeah," I say putting my hands behind my head and stretching my legs. "Time out works, but three smacks works faster."

She laughs and types it in before I can tell her that I was just kidding. "That's perfect!" she says still laughing.

She then proceeds to tell me about her friend Alice. Seems they met at St. John Fisher College in upstate New York. I can practically hear my mom squeal that I'm interested in a girl from her alma mater. Bella talks about Alice's husband Jasper and how they met him during their spring break at South Padre Island. Bella alleges that Alice went missing for days, barely making it to the airport for the return home but as Alice sees it, Bella was intoxicated from the minute they set foot on South Padre soil so she couldn't possibly remember anything that happened. This couple sounds hilarious as Jasper is a rancher in Texas and his wife is a true blue Boston Proper girl. She jokes about the accent their little one will have when he or she grows up. We take turns trying out the Boston/Texas accent and agree that it may be the worst hybrid-accent in the continental U.S.

After a while the conversation fades and we go back to watching the lockdown coverage. Before I know it, Bella is fast asleep, snoring softly. I notice Jake is antsy and pacing by the door, practically crossing his legs.

"Come on, let's go." I tell him as I get up to take him out.

I make sure my robe is tied tight before we head outside so I don't give the neighbors a show. We hit the backyard, and Jake runs out to the middle to relieve himself near a tree. I am literally freezing my balls off as the breeze blows the robe up in the back. I call for Jake to come, but the little shit decides to lie down at the very end of the property.

"Jake, come on. Let's go in." I whisper yell, hoping that I don't draw attention to myself in my girly get-up.

The little fucker rolls over, and I swear his lips curl into a smile as he suns himself. I see Bella's neighbor is eyein' me out his window. I throw him a friendly wave and point to the dog as if to say 'what a pain in the ass this guy is'. Old Man Withers just shakes his head disapprovingly. When he leaves the window, I turn back to Jake.

"Get up here, ya little shit!" I tell him through my teeth and point to the door so he knows I mean business. When he blatantly ignores me and starts licking his balls, I know what I've gotta do. "Fine, I'll be inside, nailin' your girl."

I almost hump the air at him again, but think better of it when I see him jump up like he's gonna step to me. He trots over all cocky like he's won, although by my count we're tied.

We reenter the apartment, and Jake heads right to his perch so he can mean mug me from every direction in the apartment. I pace a bit, looking out the windows at the eerily empty streets. Thinking about how the suspect is still on the loose unnerves me. I glance at the television, and of course, his face is still all over the screen as the coverage continues.

Bella has floor to ceiling bookshelves against her far wall filled with books and picture frames. I check to see that she's still sleeping as I am about to do some hardcore reconnaissance. She's still in the same position so I know the coast is clear.

It appears her OCD doesn't end at the bathroom. She has her books in sections by category. I run my fingers over the spines of her travel section, noting the books are about places that I'd love to see in my lifetime. Her classics section is huge, and I notice that the books are all well-worn. I chuckle a bit when I check out the titles in her "how-to" books. Looks like Cookie is a bit of a do-it yourselfer.

I hear her stir a bit so I return to the couch, not wanting her to catch me snooping. She must be aware of me because as soon as I sit down, she rests her feet across my lap and continues to sleep soundly, grinding her teeth every now and again. Wanting to make sure that there will be no funny business, Jake hops onto the arm of the couch right next to me. He plops down and raises a brow, daring me to put the moves on her.

I see there are a couple of photo albums under the coffee table and reach down to grab them. The first one is small with Jake's name across it in sparkly blue letters. The first picture is of Jake as a puppy. He looks tiny as she hugs him against her face. The next shot is of Jake in a raincoat with matching boots. I laugh because he looks pissed. I turn the page, and then I'm pissed because it's a picture of Jake and Felix in Yankee shirts. Only Felix isn't chubby, he's fuckin' monstrous. He's huge with muscles on top of muscles. His neck is thicker than my chest.

"What the fuck?" I mutter and look at Jake as I suddenly feel like a scrawny piece of shit.

The next shot is a picture of Bella, Jake and Felix at a beach. Bella looks tiny resting atop his shoulders as Jake looks on. I mean, this kid's got a fuckin' thirty pack. His arms and chest are thick, muscles bulging everywhere. It's like he's mocking my barely there pecks and abs.

"You've gotta be kidding me." I say to Jake, like he's going to confirm for me that 'yes, even his dick has abs'.

I shut that book and move on to the larger album. The first few pages are of Bella and a man with a giant Lorax looking mustache. I can only assume he is her father because she has his eyes. There are shots of them fishing, boating and even at a gun range. Cookie isn't kidding; she is the best son he ever had.

The next few pages are of Bella and a woman who shares her petite frame and smile. There are lots of pictures of them on the beach and in the sand. I think Jake notices that I linger a little longer on these shots since Bella is wearing a bikini that leaves little to the imagination.

The following few pages are of Bella and a pint-sized brunette. It looks like they went back-packing through Europe. There are pictures of them all over the continent. A shot where they are hugging each other in front of the Eiffel Tower with matching berets. Another where they are standing knee deep in the water of the Trevi Fountain. Cookie toasting the camera as she smiles drunkenly in an English pub.

The next few pages of pictures are of Bella being adventurous. Soaking wet in her white-water rafting gear. One with her nervously smiling crossing her arms over her chest as she gets ready to bungee jump off of a bridge. Several blurry shots of her paddle-boarding in the ocean.

With every image I can feel myself wanting her more. She's one of those people who seizes the moment, does the things that most people set aside for someday – including me. Rose is always bustin' my balls, telling me to get out there, do something crazy other than existing. Maybe she's right. Maybe I merely exist. Maybe I should get out there and live… like Bella does. I shake my head at myself as I get carried away with these thoughts of having a life like hers. Or a life with her.

The last page of the album has pictures of her, Rose and Em. She and Rose are wearing matching Bruins jerseys and drunken smiles. Another picture is of Cookie with Em in a headlock. It's really not that hard to imagine her in my life. I shut the album, not wanting to entertain the fantasy any more than necessary when a familiar tune comes from the television. It's that Sarah McLachlan song "Angel". I look up to see that it is that ASPCA commercial about animal cruelty. The one that makes you feel sick for sharing the same genetic make-up as the scumbags who hurt defenseless animals. I want to turn away, or turn it off. Commercials shouldn't make grown men want to bawl their face off.

I notice Jake watching me closely, like he knows that I can't make my eyes look at the screen any longer. I suddenly feel guilty, like I owe Jake some sort of apology. I swallow thickly and clear my throat.

"I'm, uh. I'm sorry that I humped the air at you," I tell him sincerely. "That's rude and you don't deserve that."

Obviously, I don't expect him to tell me that he is sorry for shitting in my cap or pissing on my clothes. But just like Cookie, this dog never does what I expect as he lays his head on my lap and closes his eyes. I pet his head and watch the news for a bit before I also succumb to sleep.

Bella's legs move over my lap and I open my eyes. I am a bit groggy as I glance over at her. She's reading her iPad intently with that bottom lip tucked firmly under her teeth. I tap her leg twice to let me up so I can relieve myself.

As I am in the bathroom, I hear her get up and put my clothes in the dryer. I take my time tying the robe back up and look out the window for signs of the suspect.

When I return, she's back to reading and completely oblivious to the fact that I am even in the room. Her legs are stretched across the couch, crossed at the ankles. She's rubbing her thighs together and clenching them every now and again. I grab her ankles and place them back on my lap as I sit down.

"What'cha readin', Cookie?"

She lowers her iPad momentarily to eye me warily. "Uh. Pride and Prejudice. It's my favorite."

I smile and nod, pretending that I believe her. She doesn't know I saw her tattered and dog-eared copy on the bookshelf. I turn back to the TV to see if there are any updates on the suspect, unfortunately it's more of the same. I start to zone out again when Bella starts shifting in her seat, sliding her hand over her thigh and smoothing out her shorts. Her fingers linger a little too long.

Hmmm…. I wonder.

"Mr. Darcy likes to give her that 'D', yeah?"

Bella nods and confirms my suspicions with an absentminded 'uh-huh'. She realizes her mistake as I reach for the iPad to see what has my Cookie all hot and bothered. I jump up, trying to get a good look at it as Bella frantically claws at me while she reaches for it.

Holy shit. Bella is reading some seriously smutty stuff.

"I didn't know that Mr. Darcy's first name is Deuce," I say through a laugh noticing the flush of embarrassment on her cheeks. "Looks like Deuce Darcy is a bit of a dirty talker, huh?"

"Oh my God!" She shrieks as she chases me into her bedroom. "Give it back!"

"I'm sure that Elizabeth Bennett will be pissed that he's bangin' this Eva chick."

"Edward!" She whines and pouts as she makes another grab for her tablet.

I shut the bedroom door behind her and gently toss her iPad on the bed. Before she can lunge for it, I grab her around the middle and turn her so we are facing the mirror on the back of her door. A faint blush colors her heaving chest as she stares daggers back at me in our reflection. Her expression softens though when I sweep her hair to one side and place small kisses along her neck and jaw. Her eyes darken as her lips part, releasing a soft breath. Relaxing my grip on her waist, I slide my finger up her body and place it over her lips before she distracts me.

"Sshh," I murmur near her ear and raise her arms just above her head, positioning her hands against the door. "Don't talk, Cookie."

Slowly, I skim my fingertips down her throat and chest watching the bumps on her skin rise in their wake. Once I reach the neckline of her tank, I pause briefly and smirk at her before pulling it down to expose her tits. Her nipples harden instantly, and I can't stop myself from taking one between my thumb and forefinger, tweaking them over and over until she is whimpering and writhing against me.

"That feels so…" she starts, but I cover her lips with my fingers and gently bite down on her shoulder.

"I said no talking, Cookie." I remind her. My words come out harshly against her neck. "Don't make a sound."

She arches her back and rubs her ass against my straining erection, begging for some kind of friction. Her eyes plead as she watches my hand sink lower and lower down her body until it disappears into the front of her shorts. A shudder rips through her body as I press roughly against her pussy.

"Just watch."

A/N: Oh Mylanta! I cockblocked you all twice in one chapter. Gawd I am kind of a dick. But no worries dolls, I will make it up to you next chapter. *LovinRob and Carrie ZM nod enthusiastically.*

The Deuce and Eva mentioned in this chapter are characters from a disturbingly hot series of books by Madeline Sheehan. She is a close, personal friend of my pal and fellow Triangle of Curls Girl, Heather Maven. If you are looking for an UNBELIEVABLY steamy read with mature themes and biker boys, make sure to check out her books, Undeniable and Unbeautifully available on Amazon.

Alright, now it's time to Let It WIP!

A Talionic Force by LovinRob – Get in early on this one dolls, there is a teaser posted on and it begins posting at midnight tonight. This story will have it all - a who-done-it with plot-twists and a DELICIOUSLY dirty, cocky Edward.

Down Home by MrsSpaceCowboy - *Carrie ZM squeals and jumpy claps* This here is a hot and sticky-sweet Southern story about life, family and finding love in the one place you can always come back to. From the author that gave us The Give Away Girl – this one is not to be missed, dolls!

If you haven't already, make sure to check out Blueissoul's take on the Esquire article One Night Stand in Locked-down London. Cockyward, Crazyella, and killer… chemistry.

Thanks to everyone who is reading, reviewing, following, fav'ing, rec'ing, pimping, tweeting and/or lurking this fic. See you next Thursday!