Sorry it has taken so long to update. My son had an accident so have been looking after him. Nothing too serious but he is a bit incapacitated for a few weeks. Plan to get some more writing done real soon as I have a vacation coming up and now I will be staying home. Lots of time to write. Hope you enjoy. More H/L to come soon with some flash backs.

Chapter 5

"How can you say I'm not trying?" Leia had left the platform and was now pacing the room angrily, "I'm trying."

Luke remained cross-legged on his platform, watching his sister closely. Still, he could not feel her or communicate with her through their force bond. "You must clear your mind. Your mind is troubled. You are not working hard enough to clear…"

"Not working hard enough?" she yelled, her pacing becoming more frantic, "I'm working harder than you know."

"Leia, I didn't say that to further upset you. I was just trying to…"

"I'm not doing this," Leia stormed out of the room, wanting nothing more to do with her brother or her husband. She didn't care if she ever got her memories back. She was sick of it already. She would study her data pad and do the best that she could do with what she had. As long as she could do her job that was all that mattered anyway.

Luke strolled casually out of the room, knowing full well how dangerous her anger could be. Suddenly she stopped, feeling a wave of calming tranquility overtake her. She whipped her head around quickly, fighting Luke's effort.

"Don't do that," she snapped.

"You need it," he replied calmly.

"Why?" she wasn't sure why she asked that, she just felt the need to. The shocked look on Luke's face told her there was something he hadn't told her.

"Is there something I should know?"

His expression shifted quickly back to that of the calm Jedi Master.

"Anger can lead to the dark side."

Now he was giving her advice, advice she didn't ask for and didn't want. She wasn't going to turn to the dark side. How ridiculous.
Leia shook her head and turned away from him. She was tired and her emotions in a turmoil. The session had been useless. Nothing but sadness, darkness, mist and flashes of bright orange light. What an absolute waste!

"Go home, Luke."

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Leia sat on the plush sofa grateful that Han had been called away for short time. His hovering attention was distracting her to the point that she thought she would go completely insane. She flipped through the contents of the data-pad, unable to find anything that could hold her interest long enough to keep her mind from wandering. She would never get back to work if she did not get some studying done.

Her thoughts kept wandering back to Han and how different he seemed. He was nothing like the self-absorbed man that she remembered. He was attentive and caring, there for her any time she seemed troubled or distressed and although she was trying hard to push him away he was trying just as hard to remain a very large part of her life. And why shouldn't he? He was her husband.

Absentmindedly, she flipped through the files and came across an unknown file. She didn't remember seeing that before. Curious, she tapped the link. Nothing. It was password protected. Damn. Now what password would she have used? She tried several of her usual codes, the ones she could remember, but none of them seemed to work. Sighing in frustration she leaned back and thought for a long time. What could it be? She drummed her fingers on the couch, thinking hard. Well, it was worth a try. She typed, HanSolo. It worked.

She sat up straight, heart beginning to pound, rearranged herself, and read the first few lines. It was her diary. Maybe this would be the answer to her prayers. Maybe this was what she needed more than a history lesson. She took a deep breath and considered whether or not she wanted to read this. She knew there were probably things in those words that she may not want to relive but she also knew that she had to read them if she was going to get her life back.