Thanks everyone! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! I've been super busy, plus I hit a tad of writer's block. :( Anyways...hope you guys like it! (PS. Andrea's dress she wears to the Oscars is the one that Anne Hathaway wore to the premiere of the Dark Knight Rises!)
It was times like these when Andrea wished her parents were alive more than anything else in the world. They had passed away two years ago, after a drunk driver hit them. Andrea, who was in between two unstable jobs, had dropped everything to attend her parent's funeral, as well as oversee their burial arrangements. It was lucky that her parents were well-liked, as Andrea could barely afford to pay for the funeral. She had felt humiliated and somewhat angry that she couldn't pay her parents that simple respect, but the groups, church, and activities Mr. and Mrs. Sachs were in, all helped her realize that she was honoring them by living life to its fullest every day. She had taken their kind words to heart, and tried her hardest to work harder and live happier after she returned to New York. Andrea had let go of the anger and hatred she felt towards Miranda after learning she had blacklisted her from every publishing company, and continued with her life. She had met Tom Hooper by chance-something she believed that, silly as it may be, her parents had a role in.
Now, as the weeks drudged by, Andrea felt the absence of her family cut into her like a knife. She had received her results from the bone marrow, and after she read the contents, she couldn't even shed a tear. Lily had been there with her, and took the paper from her shaking hands, reading the results herself. After she had read the verdict, she had burst into tears and begged Andrea to get chemo, something Andrea had refused, being firmly adamant on. Lily had begged, pleaded, and even shouted at her best friend to talk to the doctor, but it had all been in vain. The brunette heard nothing. Her mind was made up, and she wasn't going to change it.
To add onto that, Andrea missed Miranda desperately. She missed the Editor's wit, her soft voice, and the iconic hair. She missed seeing Miranda; missed seeing the usual stoic face break into a soft smile once in a rare moon. Andrea was spiraling into a hole, and she couldn't get out. Most nights, she bundled up in blankets and scarves, and pushed herself to climb up the four flights of stairs it took to get to the roof of her apartment building. There, she sat in the cold January air of the New York night and looked up at the stars, imagining perfect scenarios where Miranda was her lover, and her body was healthy and cancer-free. She would talk to the stars, imagining that they were her mom and dad, and told the stars everything. Then, she would just simply sit and absorb the sounds of the busy New York traffic, looking at the clouds her breath made, and imagine Miranda was by her side. Andrea felt scared, tense, and so very alone.
Runway, for the most part, was a nightmare. Miranda was an absolute terror to anyone and everyone in the building, and the whole entire staff tried to avoid her-especially Nigel. Out of everyone, he was the one who received the full brunt of her sadness, anger, and embarrassment-mostly because he was the one who convinced her there could still be a chance for both her and Andrea. After several attempts at trying to contact the evasive brunette, Miranda finally stopped trying. Her heart was shattered, and she didn't know how to handle her anguish. Andrea had sparked something deep within her, and she couldn't bear it that the brunette had left so suddenly. She had never experienced anything like it before.
To make matters worse, Miranda had to oversee every detail of the Andrea Sachs photo spread, since the issue was due to come out the week before the Oscars. The photos of her love seemed to taunt her...especially the one where she was bare except for her strategically-placed arms. Once, they had made her so upset, she outright refused to look at them, snapping at Nigel to fix everything and expected him to turn the issue into perfection. It just hurt too much for her to be so hands-on like she usually was with every one of the previous 103 issues she had made.
Caroline and Cassidy had been very supportive, knowing instinctively that something bad had happened to their mother. They had been very sweet to her, asking how her day was, cooking dinner for her, and generally being more talkative and open. Miranda had been pleasantly surprised to find that her beautiful children were so thoughtful, yet still remained sad. Andrea had left a void, and nobody else could fill it.
Finally, the week of February 24th had come, announcing the arrival of the Oscars. Andrea flew to California, her only carry-on being her dress. She wasn't planning on going to any after parties, nor spending any extra time in California. Andrea arrived to the Theatre fashionably late, but she was in a haze. She was extremely tired and felt incredibly weak, both mentally and physically. Her cancer over the past couple of weeks had really taken its toll on the actress, but she hid it well. Andrea put on her brightest smile before stepping out of the limo, and the world finally feasted its eyes on the new, elusive young actress. The cameras loved her. The white fabric of the Prabal Gurung dress she wore draped loosely over her thin frame, creating the illusion that she was stronger and curvier than she actually was. Her gown had a peplum with a plunging neckline that exposed a glittering corset. The back was a loose draped cowl that showed off an expanse of pale skin. Skipping expensive jewelry, she wore a pair of simple diamond-stud earrings and a small silver bracelet. Her short pixie-cut hair was side-swept and light mascara, eyeliner, and pink lipstick on her plump lips finished off her demure look.
Still not used to all of the flashing cameras and her named being screamed by thousands, Andrea shyly averted her eyes from most of the flashes and tried to walk into the Dolby Theatre without incident.
Thousands of miles away, the Priestly family was watching the arrivals of the Oscars on their huge television screen. One set of crystal blue eyes were glued to the screen, desperate for even a glimpse of a certain brunette. The program they were watching only showed interviews of the actors and actresses, not the arrivals or the red carpet as a whole. Therefore, Miranda only prayed that Andrea would be subject to an interview. Twenty minutes in, and Andrea still hadn't appeared.
"Maybe she's not even there yet," Caroline tried to placate her mom, sensing the stress that seemed to roll off the Editor's shoulders in waves.
"Maybe," Miranda said absentmindedly.
Another twenty minutes passed, leaving Miranda more agitated and annoyed in its wake. Finally, Caroline spotted her.
"Look! There she is!" Caroline shouted and jabbed at her finger at the screen.
"Caroline! Do not poke the screen, you will break the thousands of lights in the screen," Miranda scolded before realizing what her daughter had said. She craned her neck nonchalantly and tried to get a good look at the screen.
Sure enough, Andrea was walking (more like gliding in Miranda's love-sick mind) down the red carpet in the background with a timid, yet pretty smile on her face. Miranda's sharp eyes quickly scanned the thin frame, assessing the dress and color. She gave a nod almost indistinguishably and allowed herself a small smile, even though seeing the brunette again drove a thousand more knives in her heart. A thousand more dug into her heart after she saw Andrea breeze past the interviewer and into the Theatre, vanishing from view.
"Well that was rude," Cassidy remarked.
"Yeah, she could have at least given one interview!" Caroline pouted.
"Girls, I'm sure Andrea has her own reasons," Miranda said through pursed lips, keeping her eyes focused on the television, which was currently showing an ad for Pantene. She was secretly deflated though, having to have wanted to hear the woman's voice she missed talk for the first time in weeks. Rubbing her eyes, she got up off the couch and went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of expensive wine.
Andrea blew out a breath when she got past all of the interviewers without trouble, and quickly found her seat in the front next to Hugh Jackman and his wife. She spent her time chatting with them, and finally, the Oscars started. Seth McFarlane was pretty witty, and Andrea began to feel relaxed with each giggle she emitted at the comedian's jokes. There were thirteen categories before Best Supporting Actress was announced, and Andrea felt her nerves finally start to take control of her body and mind. Up to that point, she had felt no excitement, stress, or worry. Maybe it was because she finally relaxed, so her emotions had a chance to show themselves, or maybe it was because she had finally stopped thinking about Miranda, but whatever the reason, Andrea felt her palms start to sweat. During the commercial break before her category was announced, Andrea quietly slipped away to the bathroom to calm herself down. She desperately wanted to splash water on her face, but knew her makeup would be ruined if she dared. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain pierce through her stomach. Gasping, she clutched at her stomach frantically and willed the pain away.
"Please please please, not now," she chanted under her breath.
A toilet flushed and a blonde, whom Andrea presumed to be a seat filler, walked out. Andrea struggled to compose herself, and somewhat awkwardly leaned on the counter, still clutching her midsection.
"Hey, you're Andrea Sachs, right?" the woman asked, as she started washing her hands.
"Yes I am," Andrea tried to smile, but another jolt of pain stabbed its way through her stomach.
"Are you alright?" the blonde asked, her voice filled with concern.
"Yes, I probably just ate something that didn't agree with me," Andrea lied.
"Oh, well I hope you feel better. You'd better get out there...they're presenting the award for Best Supporting Actress next!" the young woman chirped and threw the paper towel she used to dry her hands off in the trash can. She walked to the door, pulled it open, and before she left, she looked back at Andrea and said shyly, "I hope you'll win it. I really like you."
"Thank you so much," Andrea gave her a bright smile.
With a nod, the woman left. Andrea braced her hands on the counter and closed her eyes as she took deep breaths, willing the pain in her belly away. "Okay. Showtime," Andrea said after a few seconds of meditating. She looked up at her reflection, flashed herself her best smile, and strode confidently out the door and back to her seat.
As Christopher Plummer ambled out on stage, Miranda could feel her heartbeat increase. This was it. She desperately hoped Andrea would win. Unconsciously, she tightened her hands into fists, her eyes never straying from her television. Andrea's face popped up on the screen after Christopher Plummer announced her name for a nominee, and Miranda could tell something was not right. Andrea looked a little more pale than she usually was, and although she smiled for the camera, her large eyes were filled with pain. Miranda wished she could be there, providing comfort and support for the young brunette, but Andrea had made it perfectly clear that she wanted nothing to do with Miranda. All the Editor could do was sit and watch, her whole body tense with anticipation.
Christopher Plummer opened the envelope impossibly slow, making Miranda grit her teeth with frustration. Finally, he grinned and read, "And the Oscar goes to...Andrea Sachs for Les Misérables."
"Yes!" Cassidy punched the air victoriously.
Miranda smiled at her daughter's actions and watched as Andrea's eyes opened wide and her jaw dropped. Hugh Jackman gave her a huge hug and a kiss, sending a stab of jealousy through Miranda. The other actresses who were nominated applauded for Andrea, grins on all of their faces. None of them seemed that 'put out' by losing to a newcomer in the business. Andrea stumbled up the flight of stairs and enveloped Christopher Plummer in a hug before wiping her eyes and receiving the Oscar. Clutching the Oscar tightly, she looked out over the sea of famous legends, and began her speech.
"Wow," she started nervously, and giggled, making everyone in the audience chuckle along with her. "Um, I just really want to say thank you to everyone. Especially Hugh Jackman, since he was incredibly helpful to me, being new to this and all." The camera flashed to the actor, and he gave her a beaming smile. "Thank you to the um, Academy. I would like to thank Tom Hooper, for giving me the chance to play the part of a lifetime. And the cast and crew, I share this with all of you. Everyone was so incredibly supportive and-" she cut off, clutching her stomach. Miranda gasped in alarm, but Andrea recovered quickly and chuckled weakly, "I think it was just too much stress on an empty stomach." The audience murmured their approval, and Andrea continued. "I would like to thank my parents, God bless their souls-"
"Andy's parents are dead?" Caroline's jaw dropped.
"It appears so," Miranda frowned. Andrea hadn't mentioned that little detail in their conversations.
"That's terrible!" Caroline gasped.
"Shut up, she's still talking!" Cassidy jabbed her sister with her elbow, eliciting an angry protest from Caroline.
"Cassidy, do not provoke your sister. Quiet now," Miranda said sternly, making her children nod meekly and return their attention to the screen where they had missed a good chunk of Andrea's speech.
"...And I would like to thank my former employee, Miranda Priestly," Andrea glanced at the ground before tilting her head back up and looking bravely in the camera. "She helped me a lot, and I would just like to take this opportunity to tell her how much she means to me. So thank you Miranda. And thank you everyone, for this incredible honor." She nodded with a smile on her face and exited the stage as the audience erupted into applause for the talented new actress.
The silence in Miranda Priestly's household was deafening. The twins' mouths were hanging slightly open and they both turned to their mother, who was staring at the television as if it told her Jacqueline Follet had taken over her job at Runway. Neither twin dared break the silence, since Miranda looked like she was either going to scream, cry, or laugh.
Miranda's head was swimming. She honestly didn't know what to feel. Rage was the most prominent emotion that flashed through her body. How dare that insolent girl mock her in such a way? She could feel her breathing getting heavier and her eyes turning into slits.
"Um Mom?" Caroline, the braver of the two twins, cautiously placed her hand on Miranda's arm.
"What?" Miranda snapped, snatching her arm away quickly.
"I was just wondering if you were okay," she said weakly, hurt from her mom's actions.
"Oh baby, I'm sorry," Miranda softened when she saw her daughter's expression. "I was just...surprised by Andrea's confession."
"I don't think she meant it to mean anything except a genuine thank you," Caroline said, looking confused.
Oh but she did. She used me, and now she's using the Oscars to really drive her point home. "Perhaps," was all Miranda said, feigning disinterest.
Caroline shrugged and turned her attention back to the screen. Miranda closed her eyes and breathed deeply to calm her jumbled emotions. The next portion of the Oscars was uneventful, ranging from 10 minute long Oscar speeches to 2 minute acceptance speeches. Miranda didn't remember any of it, since she was so focused on calming her shattered heart and mending her broken emotions. Finally, Seth McFarlane announced that the Best Actress was going to sing, and Miranda snapped out of it.
The screen turned black, and the chilling intro of the famous melody began. A soft light shone down on the skeleton-like figure and Miranda couldn't help but feel concerned for the brunette's well-being. Andrea was sitting on a prop that wasn't visible through the dark veil that shrouded the stage. The soft violins led into the entrance, and Andrea opened her mouth to sing.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
Again, Miranda was transported to the first time she heard the chilling song, and goosebumps rose on her neck.
When hope was high and life worth living
Andrea paused and looked at the ground, biting her lip. Her damned cancer ruined everything.
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Andrea's large brown eyes bore into the camera, pleading with the one person she knew she had to apologize to. Finally, having a real personal connection to the song helped her sing it exactly how she wanted it to sound.
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
Miranda was blown away. There was just something incredibly special to this version. Perhaps it was the ambiance, or perhaps it was the extra feeling Andrea sang with. Whatever the cause, Miranda knew it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever heard.
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
Andrea's eyes welled up with tears. There wasn't a dry eye in the theatre. The brunette somehow projected her own pain and loneliness onto the audience.
And still I dream she'll come to me
That we will live the years together
Miranda gasped when she heard the intentional changed word. There wasn't anybody else the brunette could be referring to...right? Maybe this was Andrea's apology.
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
So something incredibly drastic had happened to Andrea. Something so drastic, that it caused her to give up being in a relationship with Miranda. What had the brunette said? '"I can't explain...I'm sorry. I can promise you that you will only get hurt. I'm better off alone.'" So she had warned her. Miranda was just too caught up in her own affections, she didn't pay attention to the younger woman's pleadings. Now Miranda's emotions were spiraling out of control, and there wasn't a damned thing she could do to stop them.
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Andrea's voice dropped into a whisper, and the lights dimmed as her voice grew weaker.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
The stage was dark again, and when the lights came on again, Andrea was gone, and everybody was standing up, their hands in the air as a silent applause. What no one realized is that when the lights went dark, two stagehands had to rush out and drag the unconscious brunette off the stage.
The next day
After Andrea had brushed her fainting off as a combination of nerves, excitement, and the stress of performing her heart wrenching song, the paramedics let her go reluctantly. Andrea still didn't know how she got away without her blood being drawn, or her heart-rate checked. Miracles really do happen. She caught the first available flight to New York, and quickly deported California, wanting to get home as soon as possible.
Evening came, and she found herself staring out the window as she always did at that time of day. She coughed and shivered as she looked at the sun setting. After the sun disappeared behind the horizon, Andrea made herself a cup of soup and set it on her table. Pulling out a chair, she sat down and rested her hand on the countertop, staring at the bowl. She would have cried, but she had no tears left. She would have called Lily, but she had no energy to talk to anyone. Andrea was feeling down and depressed. She was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sighing, she forced herself to drink half of the soup and choke down a glass of milk before pushing back her chair and walking to her closet. Grabbing her trusty blankets and scarves, she wrapped them around herself and shuffled to the front door. Swinging it open, she almost screamed when she saw another person standing just outside with their fist raised.
"Miranda?!" Andrea gasped after her heart-rate slowed down.
The silver-haired Editor shifted uncomfortably before saying quietly, "Hello Andrea. I was just going to knock. May I come in or are you leaving?"
"No, you can come in," Andrea squeaked, stepping aside.
Miranda nodded her thanks and glided inside, looking oddly out of place in her Prada coat and Jimmy Choos. Seeing the half-eaten soup bowl, she raised an eyebrow and looked at Andrea questionably.
"I was going to eat it," Andrea said lamely and then coughed.
"Why aren't you eating?" Miranda saw straight through the lie. She walked over to the table and looked down at it.
"Because I'm not hungry," Andrea mumbled, fighting off another cough.
Miranda shook her head. "Don't starve yourself Andrea."
"I'm not," she shot back, wrapping the blanket around her tighter to provide comfort and protection from Miranda's questions.
"Then what is this?" the older woman asked, gesturing to the discarded dinner. The brunette stood frozen by the door and didn't respond. "Andrea," Miranda tried again, using a different, softer tone, "what's happening to you?"
Andrea's lip quivered but didn't say anything. Miranda smacked the table, making the fragile woman jump.
"God damn it Andrea. I drove all the way out here at 8 at night to finally get some answers," Miranda glared. "I would appreciate it if you would try and cooperate."
"Well nobody asked you to be here," Andrea bit out. Every fiber of her being was aching for Miranda to stay, but she couldn't risk breaking Miranda's heart when the time finally came where she would die.
Miranda stared at her, her mouth slightly agape. Gaining control of it, she snapped back, "Fine, Andray-ah. I guess I was a fool to think you actually meant what you sang at the Oscars. Good bye."
Andrea swayed uneasily, Miranda's words cutting into her. She knew she deserved it though. Everything was going exactly as planned. Miranda was leaving, which was a good thing. Except...fate had other plans. As Miranda started to stride angrily to the door, she hit her hip against the table, making the paper with Andrea's lymphoma results flutter to the ground. Miranda bit back a cry and bent down to pick it up, promptly freezing when the contents of the paper were revealed to her. Snatching it up, she scanned the words quickly, ignoring Andrea's protests and weak punches on her arm.
"Don't read that," Andrea cried, feebly hitting Miranda. "Please give it back. Just give it back. Please."
She collapsed in a sobbing mess, and Miranda sunk down next to her, wrapping her arms around her in a warm embrace. It was the first human contact Andrea had received in weeks, and she could feel herself melting into Miranda's strong form. Apparently Andrea's tear ducts weren't empty yet, as she poured her soul out in Miranda's neck, hiccuping and gasping for breath. She could vaguely hear Miranda's soothing voice in her ear, whispering her name over and over again. She didn't even have enough strength to wrap her arms back around Miranda. All she could do was curl up in the safe embrace that was offered to her, and trust Miranda to keep her from falling even more than she already had.