CHAPTER 5 - Happiness

Stiles woke up next to an empty space, that meant Derek was already up. Probably sulking around the kitchen.

He decided to join him and soon enough he saw Derek sitting behind the counter with a coffee and a blank face. Stiles was scared of that face, that emotionless pale face that was expressing the hopelessness inside the wolf's head. However, Stiles had stayed most of the night up to find out everything on depression and knew exactly what to do. Or at least something to do. Knowledge gave him courage and he walked bravely into the kitchen.

"I think you should go back home. There is no point in this."

Stiles just ignored him and started making breakfast.

Derek repeated "Stiles, I think you..."

"And I think you should shut the fuck up." he said matter of factly, looking him for a second and got back to his breakfast making.

Maybe it was the words or the attitude either way Derek was not expecting that, so they remained in silence. Stiles made breakfast for two and they ate their breakfast next to each other, still not saying anything.

After breakfast Derek tried again "Stiles, you should go."

Stiles only snorted in response.

"What's so funny? I'm serious." Derek said confused.

"Well yeah, but so am I. Just because you gave up doesn't mean that I am a coward."

"Whatever" Derek couldn't bother to answer.

Stiles chuckled and said mockingly "Well keep that enthusiasm up because we are going out."

"No we are not."

"It wasn't a question or an offer wolf boy." he said patting his shoulder on the last two words, while walking upstairs to get his backpack.

"Get in the car" Stiles stated and Derek tried to protest "I said get in the fucking car Derek!"

He did what was said. Stiles was jumping over the moon about this. He was sure that the wolf would fight back or something. So far everything went better than expected. But Stiles was worried if his plan was going to work or how well it was going to work. Too many variables. That made Stiles uncomfortable, but there was a chance it will work perfectly and the nervous kid held into that idea

Stiles stepped out of the car and started walking to the sound of the water. They only walked for a minute and they reached a river that turned into a water fall. Stiles walked right on the ledge and Derek stayed a little back.

"Why are we here? What is this?" Derek looked at the ledge Stiles was standing on.

"This is a popular place for jumping in to the cold water." he stalled.

"You mean, jumping into the water from here?"

"People do it all the time"

"Yeah, but you are not people."

Stiles was actually agreeing with Derek "Maybe not but... This is … great! No, awesome and..." he stepped closer to the edge to look down, his heart stopped "and... um..." he cleared his throught "and awesome."

"You said awesome twice..." Derek stated quickly

"That's because it is that much awesome" Stiles was more than terrified, everything was a bit of a blur but kept his cool... mostly.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Afraid? Pff... Of what? Do you mean the height, or the water or the sharp rocks on the bottom or the..."

"Okay I got it. Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's so fun." Stiles swallowed loudly "So, so fun" even he didn't believe what he just said.

The way Stiles said it made Derek almost smile.

"You don't believe me? Wait, let me get into a commercial pose with a really big fun smile." Stiles said and started to take his clothes off. He threw his shirt, sneakers, socks and pants next to Derek. As soon as the freezing wind blew on his now cold skin he shook his head.

"You know what, fuck that."

Derek sighed in relief "Great, now put your clothes back on and.."

"I mean fuck the pose, I'll just show you how fun this is." Stiles was shivering but took a step closer to the edge. Breathing as slowly as possible, trying to calm his heart.

"Stiles you can't be serious."

"Oh, I am so fucking serious right now. Especially now, when I'm telling you that you are joining me on this fun adventure." he ended his sentence as up beat as he could.

"No" the wolf said quickly.

When Stiles saw Derek's face, which was by the way full of horror, he started to laugh.

"Not funny Stiles."

"Your face is..." he couldn't stop grinning "Come on. If I can do it, you can do it."

Derek relaxed a bit "There is no way in hell you can do it."

"I would not bet on that" Stiles noted.

"Well I am."

"Okay."

"What?"

"If I jump you will join me and we will give this emotions crap another chance. If I chicken out, I will leave you alone and never bother you again." Stiles saw his head already shaking so he added "Think about it."

And Derek actually did, he saw how afraid Stiles was, his heartbeat didn't sound like a heart any more because it was beating so fast. Still, Stiles is really determined and famous on doing stupid shit like that. Derek stepped closer to see how far the water was. No fucking way, he will not jump.

"Deal."

"Wh.. Really?"

"Yes."

"Crap. Okay. Um.. Good." He was a little surprised and a lot horrified on the coming fate. Stiles looked at the destination and felt his whole body telling his brain to get into the car and get the fuck out of there.

"I knew it. You can't do it." Derek was getting calmer.

Stiles was concentrating "Yes I can. Just give me a minute."

"You already had your min..." Derek stopped because Stiles jumped off the cliff.

"Stiles!" Derek screamed, running to the edge, looking down to see if he was okay. He couldn't see anything. Everything was covered with the mist created from the dropping water.

"Fuck!" he roared while taking his clothes off, hitting each item on the ground with an audible thud. He took one breath and jumped after Stiles.

Stiles pulled himself on the surface, screaming noises and sounds never heard before. "Holy shit! I did it!" He laughed happily and started to swim closer to the shore. He couldn't keep the grin out of his face, he was so happy but knew that this wasn't really over. Stiles turned to watch if Derek will jump. And as soon as he turned to look, he saw a body smash into the water.

"Yeah!" Stiles yelled and swam closer to the spot he fell waiting for him to come to the surface.

"Fuck you!" Stiles heard Derek yell the moment he got to the surface "You are fucking insane." he rubbed the water out of his face and turned to Stiles. " Did you hear me? Insane!"

Stiles was grinning so widely that it made Derek roll his eyes.

"What? That was awesome! Did you feel anything?"

Derek looked at him blankly.

Stiles splattered water at him "You promised."

"Fine!" Derek said finally and Stiles stopped "It was... exciting and thrilling"

"Yeah it was! I feel so fucking alive! I am so fucking bad ass." Stiles talked to himself, ecstatic.

Derek laughed at his reaction to all this and it was the first time since yesterday.

Stiles looked at that smile and felt even better. He swam closer so they were almost touching.

"What do you feel now?" Stiles grabbed the alpha by his neck and kissed him. He didn't plan this but he was so intoxicated by everything that he couldn't help himself. When their lips touched Stiles was on cloud nine. When Derek started to kiss him back, was when he felt his head explode of happiness.

Involuntarily Stiles pulled away and waited for Derek's answer. "And?"

Derek shrugged "Can't complain."

"What?! Cant complain? Are you fucking kidding me?"

And he was, Derek was grinning like Stiles was before.

"Asshole" Stiles muttered and started to swim to the shore, Derek following right behind him, smiling.

"Happy" Derek muttered to himself so Stiles couldn't hear him "I feel happy."

"Oh crap." Stiles said when they got out of the water and the cold wind was brushing against his wet body. He realised that all of their things and their car was on top of the hill.

"You didn't think this through didn't you." Derek stated mockingly

"Yes I did! Just didn't get into specifics."

"Wait here and move around so you wont turn into an ice-cube." Derek started to run to the forest

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get our stuff."

"I'll come with."

Derek stared at Stiles waiting him to realise and soon enough he did "Oh yeah, wolf speed..."

The wolf chuckled and ran.

They were warm and clothed and now hiking back to the car.

"Why didn't you just came back with the car?" Stiles asked after a while.

"Because."

"Why?" Stiles knew the answer but pinned him to say it out loud.

Derek grunted "Because of you..."

"Sorry what did you said?" Stiles said mockingly

Derek turned to look at him "Because I was afraid you would get sick if I didn't do fast enough and taking the car would have taken too much time. Does this answer satisfy your needs?"

"Pretty much" Stiles grinned and walked past him.

The hike went by quickly and surprisingly not in silence. Derek was holding back a little and maybe not as open than before but in Stiles eyes he had succeeded. Final stage is about accepting and Stiles was very confident that Derek will do just fine.

"So.." Stiles started when they were driving again.

"I'm sorry." Derek interrupted looking out of the window.

Stiles frowned.

"I am sorry that I broke down in front of you. I know it wasn't easy for you. I am sorry that I didn't control my emotions. I just let anger fuel everything that was already too much for me. I am so sorry that I didn't talk about this before."

"About what? Stiles frowned

"The thought of... of your death. I had it before but I hesitated... I didn't want to talk about it and look what it did to me later."

Stiles understood the spell now. It magnified everything that was hidden or not accepted at the spot it got into the mind. He was pissed off that he didn't think about it sooner.

"Yeah I suspected that something was off... I knew that the spell will make a bigger deal of every feeling, but suppressed thoughts and feelings...I have no idea how I didn't think about it. I'm s..."

"Don't you fucking dare say you are sorry" Derek snarled

"Okay... I'm not?" Stiles was taken aback by his sudden statement.

"I'm still apologizing." He explained

"You don't have to..."

"Yes I do. Now shut the fuck up and let me finish." Derek calmed himself down "I'm sorry that I shut you out, that I didn't even try to hear you or understand you. I am sorry that I made you tell about your life... It wasn't intentional."

"Hey, you didn't make me do any thing."

Derek stared at him.

"Sorry, I'll shut up."

"And the thing I am the most sorry, I still hate myself for doing that. I know that I wasn't in my right mind but..."

"You mean rejecting me?" Stiles asked silently

Derek couldn't look at Stiles or even admit it loudly. He just paused for a really long time, staring out of the window.

They were getting back to the house and Stiles felt he had to push him "Derek, I'm sorry but your own sake, you need to..."

"I know... " but Derek stayed silent.

Stiles parked the car and turned off the engine, nut they both stayed in the car. Ten minutes or so later Derek turned to Stiles and looked into his eyes.

"Stiles, I am so sorry, that I pushed you way. I'm sorry that I rejected you... twice."

"It's okay, I get it." Stiles started serious but had tu add "Knowing how many times I have pushed you away it's only fair." Stiles chuckled nervously because the moment was too intense to stay calm.

"I'll make it up to you." Derek said firmly and gave a small smile.

"Yes you will." Stiles still tried to … "You can start now." and stepped out of the car and walked towards the house. "You coming?" He called Derek when he reached the door.

Derek grinned and shook his head "One of a kind Stiles, you are one of a kind..." he said grinning and stepped out of the car to follow Stiles.